Lastly, the thought process of some individuals on this board needs to be examined and tweeked a bit, because it doesn't make sense. An example of this would be, "1) The thread starter posts something I don't like, 2) Other women on the board don't like what he posted, 3) The people that have disagreed with the starter of the thread are women, 4) Therefore the thread starter is a woman-hater!" This type of thought process is tautology, better known as circular thinking...which is false thinking. [/B]
Nice post, homie.
nothing wrong with being defensive, but look at things from your mind not heart all the time.
Agreed. A defensive heart and defensive mind are two totally different weapons and approaches. A defensive mind offers clarity, it anticipates and counters; a defensive heart only confuses matters, and warps perception according to one's unresolved emotions.
I stopped going over there since the last time I had about 4-5 different men in one thread call me a bad mother ... over what ... I have no clue ... there was only one man there who took the time to understand my post and express that to me which I thanked him for ... here I think the insults are more polite ... like telling us we have "delicate psyches" or were "immature" or "oh you women are always like that" ... to me I find those statements insulting as well but like I said it's not as bad as the main board
OK I suspect part of this complaint applies to me. So I'll address it.
I won't reignite the initial cause for the debate, but I think you do understand what the reason was--my criticism was that it is not fair to burden your child with any undue hostility or bias due to him reflecting his father's nature, which you said you find frustrating and annoying.
For the record, I specifically stated that I do not consider you a bad mother. You read that and ignored the qualifier anyway because you felt "well if I'm soooooo fucked up as you seem to think I am, then obviously I'm a bad mom." That was an emotional reaction to a reasoned criticism based on a post you made.
I concluded by saying basically if the shoe didn't fit, my apologies but I hoped you would consider the point seriously. We all make mistakes and could improve as parents. I know I have and can and could.
I also know if someone called me out for fuckin up as a parent in any way, I'd be probably as tight as you still are, so I can sympathize. I see you are still salty about the whole thing, but if that makes you more careful about not letting your unresolved feelings towards your ex influence your relationship with your son, its worth it IMHO.
This is a prime example though of what X and Don are complaining about; I wasnt woman bashing at all--but I did point out what I saw as a part of a negative pattern in parenting that a lot of posters could relate to personally, as you saw for yourself by the responses.
Unless you are suggesting its intrinsic to women to ride their children for being too much like the exes that they are bitter towards, you can't fairly or logically say that bashing that behavior = bashing women, correct? And while some cats DID call you out of your name, I my dear
did not do so. Go back and check. I kept the terms of the debate civil.
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crazy ass
SHANE
