I'm sure that there were episodes of those Court shows like Paternity Court that had cases like that too. The children just wanted to know for closure and not have a lifelong mystery on their minds.
PAPA WAS A ROLLING STONE... honestly how did you feel about it when you discovered Pops had kids and/or families other than you?
- Thread starter geechiedan
- Start date
When I was 11 my dad took my sister and I on a 2 week vacation to Jacksonville. While there we spent a day with this family I had never seen or heard of before.
Now obviously parents have friends their kids don't know about, but I'm thinking "we're Canadian. How do you have friends in Florida?"
Found out later that my dad had been a professional dirt bike racer who knocked up a woman on the East coast circuit. Once he found out he gave her a bunch of cash and bounced. Never spoke about her again.
this whole so-called family vacation was just an excuse to catch up with his old jump off
Later I found out that their seed had died in a car accident years before the trip. Also found out that when my parents divorced dad had threatened to snatch me up and run to Florida.
So how do I feel now? All I can tell you is that it's pretty fucked up when your dad's secret love child is the least scandalous part of the story.
Now obviously parents have friends their kids don't know about, but I'm thinking "we're Canadian. How do you have friends in Florida?"
Found out later that my dad had been a professional dirt bike racer who knocked up a woman on the East coast circuit. Once he found out he gave her a bunch of cash and bounced. Never spoke about her again.
this whole so-called family vacation was just an excuse to catch up with his old jump off
Later I found out that their seed had died in a car accident years before the trip. Also found out that when my parents divorced dad had threatened to snatch me up and run to Florida.
So how do I feel now? All I can tell you is that it's pretty fucked up when your dad's secret love child is the least scandalous part of the story.
Ghana
How is it for a man that's not a chief to live like that?
I totally understand
Not my pops. But grandaddy was a dick slanga. 10 kids with my grandmama. Nigga just walked out on my grandmama. And Grandad has 10 kids and counting after the original 10. He's dead now but my daddy hated him.
He’s a cocksucker and a deadbeat. Always have been and always will be.
I’ll see him soon and Will tell him how much of a douche he was. He’s 77 now but I don’t think he’s knocking on the grave. His dad lived to be 100. I just want to give him a chance to hear him tell a lie. Bastard
I’ll see him soon and Will tell him how much of a douche he was. He’s 77 now but I don’t think he’s knocking on the grave. His dad lived to be 100. I just want to give him a chance to hear him tell a lie. Bastard
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What gets me is folks always talking about this current generation being Dead Beats. Naw that title goes to the silent generation and the baby boomers. Back then dudes made babies and kept on moving. Didn't have to pay child support or nothing. Then wanna get old and throw shade at younger guys. Sorry motherfuckers
I understand. Absence leads to apathy
Silent generation?
Are they calling THIS generation deadbeats for the same reason? I don't THINK that's the case.
I was in college when my daddy told my family that. I didn't feel anyway about it because I was a man who had just came back from Desert Storm. I only recognize my brothers and sister from both of my parents. The guy was in my college classes and in the same fraternity. He doesn't know because his mother never told him. His mother and my father talked to each other while I was in college after 20 years of not talking. She thought I was going to tell her son but my father told her that I didn't give a shit and wasn't going to tell.
And you dont see nothing wrong with that?
I was last in a long line of children (9) my father had from different women from 1949 to 1975. He was 50 when I was born and my mother was a young tender-roni. He had 4 children that were near the same age or older than my mother and I have nieces and nephews older than me. My mother and the mother of one of his other children lived in the same hood. He was a mail carrier so I guess he was able to score pussy from his routes. I met all of my siblings except for one at the funeral. Even though we have different mothers we all bear a striking resemblance to him. The really crazy part is my one year old daughter was born on his birthday and amazingly looks like him and me.
I do remember spending time with him as a child and dont ever recall seeing him without a suit on. Spoke and carried himself very dignified but smoke and drank like crazy. When I became an adult my mother told me a story that just a few years before he passed he asked her to marry him. (They weren't even in a relationship). She turned him down because she just couldn't deal with his philandering ways, even though he was getting older. When i was 10, he died of a heart attack after a big argument with yet another very young woman he was dating.
I do remember spending time with him as a child and dont ever recall seeing him without a suit on. Spoke and carried himself very dignified but smoke and drank like crazy. When I became an adult my mother told me a story that just a few years before he passed he asked her to marry him. (They weren't even in a relationship). She turned him down because she just couldn't deal with his philandering ways, even though he was getting older. When i was 10, he died of a heart attack after a big argument with yet another very young woman he was dating.
My dad had a another son in Jamaica about 2 weeks older than me. My dad got deported but never close to begin with. So my brother worked at Sandals resort. He got my number a few years back and said I can stay at the resort. After he made the kind offer he then wanted to know if he could beg me a favor. He wanted me to send some money, money gram and send him an unlocked iPhone 7. 
Niggas!
Niggas!Silent generation is them ones before baby boomers
To the board, I am surprised this wasn’t a thread many, many, many moons ago on BGOL!
my heart goes out to every board member that we’re negatively affected by their father’s behavior.
@Don Coreleone In NO WAY, can I tell you how to feel, but at this stage in your development, is it possible that your angst may be misguided?
Buddy ain’t have a choice in the matter AND ya’ll in the same frat?
Yeah, that’s a lot to unpack but maybe you could be the change you want to see in the situation.
Your story is WIIIIIIIIILD!
my heart goes out to every board member that we’re negatively affected by their father’s behavior.
@Don Coreleone In NO WAY, can I tell you how to feel, but at this stage in your development, is it possible that your angst may be misguided?
Buddy ain’t have a choice in the matter AND ya’ll in the same frat?
Yeah, that’s a lot to unpack but maybe you could be the change you want to see in the situation.
Your story is WIIIIIIIIILD!
Brothers, I know you hate some of your pops because most of them were pieces of shit, but you got to love them and respect them because they got you here. You wouldn't be here without them and no matter how hard your journey has been, your soul has been blessed to be on this plane so that you can grow and reach your spiritual maturity. I got two sisters I really don't know. One before my mother and one from a jump off he had when I was a kid. Because of my situation, I got to see a lot, and it shape my perception of manhood and made me who I am today. My road was a tough one, but I thank that old niggah who brought me here because he could have forced my mother to abort me. Or, she could have done the same or kept me away from him, then I would be wondering where my origin came from. You also have to put this shit into perspective. Our fathers came up in a harder time then we. Depending on where they lived they have to look the other way on a lot of shit so they could survive. I guess I look at this way because I have studied history. Although most of that shit is fake, the videos, pictures and first hand accounts of the people who went through that shit ain't fake. So, their environments shape their way of doing things. Not to let their asses off the hook, but you got to understand the particulars. To be a man and not be treated as a man has to be foul as fuck. But them old heads did that shit, and came home and took care of their families whether they had kids all over the place. The ones who didn't, continue to hunt the roadways of America looking for a peace that was invisible to them. I stayed pissed at my grandfather for years, until I realized his environment, and his humanity. Them old niggahs are just human, and as a human being we are frail and are subject to mistakes. We are far from perfect. And there are not guidebooks on being the perfect father. So, I say, respect them old dudes, learn the lesson you were to learn from them and make sure you do better to your seed. Believe me, we are doing things better to our children, but I guarantee they have some gripe about how you do shit. Be thankful that you are here.
I do love and respect my father. He raised me, supported me, taught me how to live, and sacrificed for every opportunity I've ever had.
I also have to admit that he's a bad person.
Not because he had a love child. Knocking up a jumpoff is hardly a crime. However, there are a lot of people who hate his guts for good reason. The complete disregard for boundaries he showed in Jacksonville is a good example why.
I am glad you love and respect your dad. I don't want everyone to be angry over something you had nothing to do with. Its a helluva burden to carry shit like this for 30, 40, 50 years. Be thankful you are here and make your own way. We have to start letting shit go.
niggaah thought he was the only child!topic hit too close to home??
he grew up listening to his pop beating his moms down like
& now he realize his pops was beating down other bitches like too... wit the 
.
my uncle got 4 extra kids..... 1 everybody knows & 3 others nobody in my cousins or my age group has ever seen. I just learned about iit recently due to my mother's passing. smh. shit is crazy.
So what should I have done about it? Me and my siblings have had a rough life which is typical in Black America. This guy has gone through life as a Jones with a father and siblings. I guess I should tell him hey that guy you think is your daddy ain't and your mother has been lying to you all your life your really a Brown and my daddy is your daddy or should I just say hey I'm 23 or whatever age I was I have my own life to worry about and I don't want to be bothered? I chose the latter and believe me the dude was better off with his situation than me and my full blooded siblings were in ours. Life is hard in Black America and then you die.
You're right. It doesn't make sense to be angry. However, I am very careful about how far I'll let him into my life.
Every few months we'll talk on the phone. I come over to visit once every year or two, but that's about it.
Mayne my pops ain't wore no shyt like that ..... Fukkin white shoes, seriously ..... Tailor made suites and Stacy Adam's ..... But I do got a exchra sister bout my age .....
Damn
Business as usual. Long as we spent holidays together no one cared
^^^
but its different for this new generation fam
I noticed that this dudes MAD emotional over that and I mean devastated.
I knew from a LONG time ago my like was NOT the cosby show
but it was good and BETTER than most
I think this social media and fakeness and fronting and clout chasing is what messing with this kids heads.
Yeah in the Caribbean is sorta normal to have extended siblings what mattered to us was seeing each other.
BOOM
but NOW?
I am legit SHOCKED how HURT these grown kids are
to be fair?
I UNDERSTAND...
but it just was so NORMAL for US coming up
I'm surprised how DAMAGED these kids appear to be.
That's part of the problem fam. It was normal, but it shouldn't have been. Its not healthy.
The resentment comes from the deceit associated with situations like this. Add in the negative impact that the deceit & poor decisions have on young black people... and yes it contributes to them being damaged.
Brother you 1000%
Its just for good or bad
And i admit primarily BAD
and the continued acceptance of blatant misogyny.
We sucked it up and dealt with it.
I know its wrong.
But i honestly feel like our generation not by choice were much more accepting. And dealt with it back then.
I mean we had a baby daddy song
90 of rappers and athletes thank their moms and promise to buy them a house.
Never their dad
How many stories we heard of black men almost dating their sister or cousin?
Joking about having a kid in every city?
Now?
I don't mean to sound callous just observation.
These new kids are so devastated and angry by this and even suicidal
We just never even saw that as an option.
Or to be honest?
THAT serious.
We were not HAPPY.
But we had to just accept it.
Again I'm not sure how to process that as good bad better worse.
But i don't like how this new generation reacts so devastatingly to this.
my dad from haiti and married my mom
they had me & alil brother
around 3 out the blue i got 3 teenage half-brothers living in a one bedroom apartment. my dad had 4 sons in 3 years with 3 different women (one passed away)
I've always been a bit of an asshole so i didnt like that shit. Went from being the oldest child to being picked on. Conversely my younger brother was a baby so they were around him from the jump and he had a much better relationship with them
it took years for us to really get close. it really happened when we are all adults and peers (married, kids, drinking, etc.) It took awhile for them to not see my as the annoying little brother and for me to see them as just my big bros.
they had me & alil brother
around 3 out the blue i got 3 teenage half-brothers living in a one bedroom apartment. my dad had 4 sons in 3 years with 3 different women (one passed away)
I've always been a bit of an asshole so i didnt like that shit. Went from being the oldest child to being picked on. Conversely my younger brother was a baby so they were around him from the jump and he had a much better relationship with them
it took years for us to really get close. it really happened when we are all adults and peers (married, kids, drinking, etc.) It took awhile for them to not see my as the annoying little brother and for me to see them as just my big bros.
why do you call yourself an asshole for not liking that your father had kids with other women other than your mother?
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they were from previous relationships before my dad and mom met. Dad didnt do anything wrong and brought his sons to states as soon as he could. Situation wasnt ideal but my mom did her best to help raise 3 stepsons.
teenage boys can be assholes and truth be told I was an asshole as well but I was like 3/4. Wasnt a good mix. I cant speak for them but I take some responsibility for my part of the rocky relationship at times. They could've been better bout the situation or my dad could've done a better job with the transition. But I can only take responsibility for my part and appreciate the fact we in better place now (except for my dad who passed away).
ehhh I dunno if I'd go as far as asshole tho... seems from your story there were better ways to prepare you for what amounts to major changes in your life.
like I said earlier the biggest most consistent mistake that parents make seem to be forgetting or not acknowledging that:
1. kids are PEOPLE TOO....they think their own thoughts and have their own feelings.
2. kids are aware of shit going down much more than parents think they are even at a very young age. They may not be able to put the big picture together becuz they don't have all the details becuz theyre kids and no one ever tells them shit about the house runs... but they know when somethings funky (being able to assess a situation quickly is a part of survival instincts)
3. kids are and can be as POSSESSIVE as any adult. That's YOUR dad...your WORLD is set in a specific way that YOU are comfortable with and suddenly you have to deal with CHANGE. And like most people, kids don't deal with change well.
So you may have been a pain in the ass but that's not without cause.
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