This isn’t news, or new knowledge. It’s always been like that, and always will. We’re the only narrow-minded race that treats each other different, based on skin tone. Nigga is as nigga does!
Deep Article, "Why dark-skinned black girls like me aren't getting married"
- Thread starter Gazoo
- Start date
Let's looks at some of her quotes:
The first eligible bachelor appears – not my type, I swipe left. Then another follows – too young, I swipe left again. Ten swipes in, and I find myself texting my eldest sister this was a bad idea. A feeling of vexation settles over me.
On her accord, she's dismissing "eligible" men because they don't fit her profile. She calls them eligible, yet she still feels the need to swipe left. Other than physical attributes, what's guiding her motivation for swiping left?
I’ve spent so much time trying to understand what is so unattractive about me that men shun me. At first, I thought it was because I was intimidating – a word I’ve heard used to describe me. For a while, I concluded I was “not that interesting,” a line I subsequently used as my biography on social media. But those explanations won’t do.
She admits that she sees herself as intimidating and uninteresting. What eligible man wants an uninteresting woman whose best quality is that she is intimidating?
Jasmine Turner, owner of BlackMatchMade, a Chicago-based matchmaking company, agrees this affects all black women. “Honestly, I think black women tend to lower their standards because they’re finding challenges in dating. Now I’m finding that black women are like ‘You know what, as long as he has a good job and he’s a good person …’ No matter how successful they are, they’re open to dating him.”
I’ve never been one to settle. I’ve taken this attitude to the app, only searching for men who are gainfully employed and fairly decent-looking. But I definitely understand what she means. Previously, dating has made me feel like I must drop some of my must-have criteria – a college education, a steady job, and able and willing to pay for the first date – in order to find a match. My mother has even scolded me for it, telling me to raise my standards: “I’ve been on a lot of dates, and no girl should ever pay for a first date!”
It's funny how dating a man with a good work ethic and is generally an overall good person is seen as lowering your standards.
**SIDE NOTE
Although I normally do agree with the man pays for the first date rule, I find it funny in the age of "equality" a lot of women are still stuck on it. As equals, shouldn't women be able to pay for a date as well?
The first eligible bachelor appears – not my type, I swipe left. Then another follows – too young, I swipe left again. Ten swipes in, and I find myself texting my eldest sister this was a bad idea. A feeling of vexation settles over me.
On her accord, she's dismissing "eligible" men because they don't fit her profile. She calls them eligible, yet she still feels the need to swipe left. Other than physical attributes, what's guiding her motivation for swiping left?
I’ve spent so much time trying to understand what is so unattractive about me that men shun me. At first, I thought it was because I was intimidating – a word I’ve heard used to describe me. For a while, I concluded I was “not that interesting,” a line I subsequently used as my biography on social media. But those explanations won’t do.
She admits that she sees herself as intimidating and uninteresting. What eligible man wants an uninteresting woman whose best quality is that she is intimidating?
Jasmine Turner, owner of BlackMatchMade, a Chicago-based matchmaking company, agrees this affects all black women. “Honestly, I think black women tend to lower their standards because they’re finding challenges in dating. Now I’m finding that black women are like ‘You know what, as long as he has a good job and he’s a good person …’ No matter how successful they are, they’re open to dating him.”
I’ve never been one to settle. I’ve taken this attitude to the app, only searching for men who are gainfully employed and fairly decent-looking. But I definitely understand what she means. Previously, dating has made me feel like I must drop some of my must-have criteria – a college education, a steady job, and able and willing to pay for the first date – in order to find a match. My mother has even scolded me for it, telling me to raise my standards: “I’ve been on a lot of dates, and no girl should ever pay for a first date!”
It's funny how dating a man with a good work ethic and is generally an overall good person is seen as lowering your standards.
**SIDE NOTE
Although I normally do agree with the man pays for the first date rule, I find it funny in the age of "equality" a lot of women are still stuck on it. As equals, shouldn't women be able to pay for a date as well?
The author is having issues because she's ugly. Point blank....Period.
And one more thing...no hate. Your preference is just that. Yours.
Why the hell do y’all want to , still, keep getting married???
Exactly.
I ain't read it...
But the fact that my mom my sisters my wife my daughters my God daughters and my cousins are all beautiful dark skin women..
And those of age are all happily married
and i had to spend all that money for 5 weddings last year and another 4 scheduled this year?
I think its safe to say I'm good.
And while there most definitely exists a serious color issue in our community?
It ain't the MAIN reason whoever she talking about aint finding a man.
But the fact that my mom my sisters my wife my daughters my God daughters and my cousins are all beautiful dark skin women..
And those of age are all happily married
and i had to spend all that money for 5 weddings last year and another 4 scheduled this year?
I think its safe to say I'm good.
And while there most definitely exists a serious color issue in our community?
It ain't the MAIN reason whoever she talking about aint finding a man.
And sadly...
There we go, thats about it in a nut shell.
I should write an article on how dark skinned girls would braid and comb these white boys hair, kiss pictures of Al B Sure and hurl spit balls at my fro and make fun of my lips and nose.
Damn, black people still ain't tired of pushing the white man's agenda for them? I take this for what it is, a declaration that the author is jumping ship. Just go, why it gotta be all this books, and YouTube vids, and blogs and shit? If you unhappy just GTFO..
In other news dark skinned black women is still getting black dick in droves, I don't even see any mixed relationships where I am. I myself have no problem smashin these dark chicks which is damn near my entire menu
In other news dark skinned black women is still getting black dick in droves, I don't even see any mixed relationships where I am. I myself have no problem smashin these dark chicks which is damn near my entire menu
Even though the percentage of colorstruck nigs has risen it's still not the reason why she isn't single
That’s what’s up, bruh
Much love to the fam and continued happiness.
Thank you fam.
I swear
I would film a documentary a damn love letter of thanks
To Kadeem Hardison
That Black man saved my life
I wanted to be just like him but somehow?
He made me want to be MYSELF
He is sociological equivalent of star trek to all the geeks nerds who grew up to be astronomers engineers and teachers investors scientists astronauts etc...
A GENERATION of Black men took a different path because of him and Dr. Cosby (Theo too)
And i can't forget Wesley and Denzel.
(Jim Kelly Jim Brown need some mention)
All dark skin super heroes to me.
And really helped build my self confidence and love my self and my heritage.
I’m wondering how much of this colorism and dating matter more to the younger demographic versus middle aged demographic.
I mainly her 18 to mid to upper 20 year olds taking issue versus those in their 30s and 40s.
My preference have always been dark skin women (I married one, Dominican), but I have also been turned down more by dark skin women as well.
Colorism aside, I’ve heard women in their 30s speak on how they’ve let good black men slip because they always wanted more out of him.
Im blackadenamufucka and I ain't reading qll that shit. I have no degree but decent steady job, and I can't get the dark skinned (think Grace Jones dark) sister I want. And its hard to find qualified one that ain't half crazy or look like something so...fuck it. My colir preference now is "long as she ain't white".
It's true what you're saying... Ive seen it myself. Bitch coukd be a solid 4, but if shes a redbone shed get elevated to a 6. Bitch is still ugly, shes just getting a pass cause shes lightskinned. This chick is mad cause her darker skin isn't giving her a bump in her score. In her mind the issue is colorism... But in reality... It's her level of attractiveness. An attractive dark skinned woman wouldn't have her issues. Both truths can exist here.
Yep
Colorism was a big deal in the 90s.
I haven’t started gathering all my research data, but I will be attempting to dive into the affects 90s films (television) brought back colorism that I felt laid dormant since the 50s and 60s.
I’m going to want help in expounding this further, but I’ll PM you where I’m going with all this soon.
Late high school and college
Black girls routinely told me...
I can't mess with you
Not now, Playa
You a good one, you marriage material.
Mess around make me want settle down
Seriously i would hear that
and when i wasnt "good one" for a time and making dumb moves?
Good lawd i was turning them away with weapons.
But thankfully i was put back on track quick fast.
later you run into people from your past life is funny that way and 9 out 10 somehow someway the girl would MENTION how dumb she was back then and give me the standard divorced deadbeat single parent abusive cheating man storyline.
And how "handsome" i was now.
And why didn't she lock me up.
Never failed.
Oh this gonna be good!!!
And i got a feeling i know EXACTLY where you headed with this one.
Give that nigga a shit bag for life
I would say the 70s man when I was in grade school and all that and maybe early 80s. Think "Color Purple". You know what changed things for dark skin black men anyway? Wesley Snipes. I had a horrible time in high school. Graduated in 84. But by 1986 I remember VIVIDLY I had all kinds of chicks wanting to holler. Just seemed to come out of nowhere and it hasn't stopped since then. You didn't have to be El Debarge. Dark men were heavily desired and things took a 180 for me.
Dark skin chicks started to come in style too but I always knew some cute fine dark skin chicks in school.
This dating stuff is a big social game. Maturity level is involved as well and other factors. I heard chicks back in school ask their friends if a dude was cute or not to get their approval.
But this chick is swiping left on dating apps and then wanna complain. There's your answer right there. She just coppin pleas.
Been there a hundred times man. Life is funny like that sometimes.
It’s hella dark skin niggas in this thread.
This the chick who wrote the piece. She average at best. I want a chick like Bria, Modesta, or another attractive chick to explain how being too dark is a problem to them and about all the men they have to shoot down on a daily basis.
Has nothing to do with her skin, this issue is what you posted. No man wants to deal with an attention whoring chic who needs validation from millions of strangers. These chic's need to decide, if you not doing this as a job, then what are you doing it for? Attention, exposure? Cool, but you need to decide, whose attention do you want, your mans/husband, or a bunch of dudes on the net. I would never want to deal with a chic that needs social media in her life. Just my opinion.
Darkskin, brownskin, lightskin
C/S. Them bitches don't want to admit it's their addtuide.
this is the author.
It’s only a couple of us Obama Presidential niggas on this site.
I have light skin synonymous With presidential
The 80s had an interesting version of light skin that I just don’t understand completely.
Did you see a shift in the 90s when it came to colorism? I grew up in the 90s and light skin was in up until about 2000.
I have my theories, but I’m just curious on your perspective.
Nothing like it was when I was younger. I was in my 20s and 30s during the 90s so I was out of high school and that whole social bubble. Grown folk life was paying bills and taking care of business. Dating was a breeze because social attitudes were changing. Consciousness was hitting it's second wave since the 70s after a quiet period during the 80s. Afrocentrism was real heavy and popular resurging especially in hip hop. Gangsta rap was also blowing up which was just hyper masculinity but that's another topic.
Remember Biggie's statements about being black and ugly? All of that was in the 90s. But that's my experience and perspective. Grown folks.
Youth may have been a totally different story like teens and grade school and whatnot during the 90s. If you are doing research for a project there's a lotta different perspectives from different age groups and different eras.
Different geographical locations may also play a factor. And remember this is America. Black America. Black folks in places like Brazil or The D.R. are on some other level with this colorism thing and it's pretty sad.
I don't know if it's risen. Nowadays, SOME dark skin women getting put up just because of complexion. It's like 6s become 8s just for their skin tone. And god help you if you have a preference that ain't dark skin women. Liable to get run off the Internet if you say your prefer brown skin or a redbone, but ain't shit wrong with saying you prefer dark skin.
I know there's a history of colorism, but people also have their preferences. But in the 2010s, if you attractive, you're attractive. These chicks big, small, light, dark getting their egos stroked online. Something has to be seriously wrong with a woman's attitude for her to have problems nowadays.
Now if an actress says colorism is limiting her options in Hollywood, she has a point. But anyone saying it's hurting her dating BLACK men in the modern world is full of shit.
Early 80s was the same as the 70s and earlier as far as colorism. I always reference The Cosby Show. Light skin chicks with long hair were all the rage. Same thing with dudes. Light skin with baby hair. Same old same old. Jheri curls were big in the early 80s. Those were the Prince/MJ years.
When Wesley Snipes came out it kinda flipped the script. Talk to some older black folks from that era in their 40s and 50s. They will hip you on how it was before and after.
Similar threads
- Locked
