Wifey vs. Moms...thoughts and opinions? *NOT CP Friendly*

[Raytaka]

Ok check it....

Wifey has an issue wit my moms because of some shit that happened when she was pregnant (Moms wanted a blood test to see if it was my baby) and wifey flipped. Now I know what yall niggas is thinking. Wifey probably had some shit to hide and thats why moms is trippin right? Wrong. Once the doctor told us we was pregnant I calculated in my head the conception date (Which the doctor said was pretty amazing) and the date of her last period. Her and Moms had a LONG talk wit her moms and shit was str8 right? Nope.

Fast forward to Christmas of 09. I had this big fight with my family and she took they said. Only prob? They started lying their asses off to my girl about stupid shit and I wasnt allowed down my Aunts crib cause I got into a fight wit her dude (my unc but fuck him)

Fast foward to Aug/Sept of 09. My lil cuzzo has a baby shower, but me and my girl get NO invite. They claim they tried to call, but NO phone rang in my house. NONE. So me and my girl start going through some shit and she put me out right? You would think that I could turn to my family to help right? WRONG. My girl calls me the next day talking about if I needed to be fed she would help me out and shit and still wanted to be wit me, but wanted me to get my shit together. I called my aunt to see if she could help me out because I was staying in my boys basement. I went down there and her dude told me to get the fuck off the porch. Period. Then when Moms and them came up to Burgh from ATL, they made a big stink about paying for my daughters birthday cake for her party and showed up TWO hours late with the cake. Now Im STILL in my boys basement livin and shit and moms is talkin shit about my girl blah blah blah, right? My girl is STILL feeding me, still fucking me, and still letting me spend time with my daughter. So we try to work it out and shit happens again. We have a REAL bad argument and I move out, AGAIN. Family says whatever about my girl, still no offer to help me. So me and my girl sit down and have a serious talk about shit that happened with our relationship and decided to give it one final shot. But during this time we were talking, she is buying my groceries, fucking me, we spending time as a family and what not. NO help from my fucking family. My aunt even calls me and asks me if I had my daughter, I told her I didnt at the time, she says she is going to call me back. Call never comes. Long story short? My girl went to MS to visit her bro in the Army. My family didnt want to be bothered with me during Christmas or New Years, but VOW that family looks out for one another and takes care of each other. Yet my girl and her mom are the only ones who had my back even when I was down.

Anyone ever been through some shit like this?

 

[4 Dimensional]

Ok check it....

Wifey has an issue wit my moms because of some shit that happened when she was pregnant (Moms wanted a blood test to see if it was my baby) and wifey flipped. Now I know what yall niggas is thinking. Wifey probably had some shit to hide and thats why moms is trippin right? Wrong. Once the doctor told us we was pregnant I calculated in my head the conception date (Which the doctor said was pretty amazing) and the date of her last period. Her and Moms had a LONG talk wit her moms and shit was str8 right? Nope.

Fast forward to Christmas of 09. I had this big fight with my family and she took they said. Only prob? They started lying their asses off to my girl about stupid shit and I wasnt allowed down my Aunts crib cause I got into a fight wit her dude (my unc but fuck him)

Fast foward to Aug/Sept of 09. My lil cuzzo has a baby shower, but me and my girl get NO invite. They claim they tried to call, but NO phone rang in my house. NONE. So me and my girl start going through some shit and she put me out right? You would think that I could turn to my family to help right? WRONG. My girl calls me the next day talking about if I needed to be fed she would help me out and shit and still wanted to be wit me, but wanted me to get my shit together. I called my aunt to see if she could help me out because I was staying in my boys basement. I went down there and her dude told me to get the fuck off the porch. Period. Then when Moms and them came up to Burgh from ATL, they made a big stink about paying for my daughters birthday cake for her party and showed up TWO hours late with the cake. Now Im STILL in my boys basement livin and shit and moms is talkin shit about my girl blah blah blah, right? My girl is STILL feeding me, still fucking me, and still letting me spend time with my daughter. So we try to work it out and shit happens again. We have a REAL bad argument and I move out, AGAIN. Family says whatever about my girl, still no offer to help me. So me and my girl sit down and have a serious talk about shit that happened with our relationship and decided to give it one final shot. But during this time we were talking, she is buying my groceries, fucking me, we spending time as a family and what not. NO help from my fucking family. My aunt even calls me and asks me if I had my daughter, I told her I didnt at the time, she says she is going to call me back. Call never comes. Long story short? My girl went to MS to visit her bro in the Army. My family didnt want to be bothered with me during Christmas or New Years, but VOW that family looks out for one another and takes care of each other. Yet my girl and her mom are the only ones who had my back even when I was down.

Anyone ever been through some shit like this?

Damn homie.....

I really hope you can work things out. Do you have a job? Living off your girl gives you zero power. Family can be fucked up sometimes. How old are you? Do you have your own car? You sound homeless bruh....

 

[blkdap_n_va]

Got damn bruh.. you going through some shit! Take care of your family dude.! Meaning your girl and the baby. Thats your family now. Your focus should be on that and nothing else.

 

[Mt Airy Groove]

Ok check it....

Wifey has an issue wit my moms because of some shit that happened when she was pregnant (Moms wanted a blood test to see if it was my baby) and wifey flipped. Now I know what yall niggas is thinking. Wifey probably had some shit to hide and thats why moms is trippin right? Wrong. Once the doctor told us we was pregnant I calculated in my head the conception date (Which the doctor said was pretty amazing) and the date of her last period. Her and Moms had a LONG talk wit her moms and shit was str8 right? Nope.

Fast forward to Christmas of 09. I had this big fight with my family and she took they said. Only prob? They started lying their asses off to my girl about stupid shit and I wasnt allowed down my Aunts crib cause I got into a fight wit her dude (my unc but fuck him)

Fast foward to Aug/Sept of 09. My lil cuzzo has a baby shower, but me and my girl get NO invite. They claim they tried to call, but NO phone rang in my house. NONE. So me and my girl start going through some shit and she put me out right? You would think that I could turn to my family to help right? WRONG. My girl calls me the next day talking about if I needed to be fed she would help me out and shit and still wanted to be wit me, but wanted me to get my shit together. I called my aunt to see if she could help me out because I was staying in my boys basement. I went down there and her dude told me to get the fuck off the porch. Period. Then when Moms and them came up to Burgh from ATL, they made a big stink about paying for my daughters birthday cake for her party and showed up TWO hours late with the cake. Now Im STILL in my boys basement livin and shit and moms is talkin shit about my girl blah blah blah, right? My girl is STILL feeding me, still fucking me, and still letting me spend time with my daughter. So we try to work it out and shit happens again. We have a REAL bad argument and I move out, AGAIN. Family says whatever about my girl, still no offer to help me. So me and my girl sit down and have a serious talk about shit that happened with our relationship and decided to give it one final shot. But during this time we were talking, she is buying my groceries, fucking me, we spending time as a family and what not. NO help from my fucking family. My aunt even calls me and asks me if I had my daughter, I told her I didnt at the time, she says she is going to call me back. Call never comes. Long story short? My girl went to MS to visit her bro in the Army. My family didnt want to be bothered with me during Christmas or New Years, but VOW that family looks out for one another and takes care of each other. Yet my girl and her mom are the only ones who had my back even when I was down.

do u work?

 

[Raytaka]

I went through a series of fuck ups during those times. For those of yall living in Pittsburgh or anywhere in the Northeast, you KNOW about PNC Bank. I worked for them for like 4 1/2 years and me and her had a serious conversation about going back to school. So I made a stupid ass decision to walk away from a full-time job with benefits to go back to school and get a part-time job with no benefits and I still had a family to feed. So finding a job was rough plus getting unemployment (Which I started getting in Oct 2010 and PNC NEVER fought it.) I was damn sure looking for EVERY opportunity I could to get some cash, even started working at Applebees for a lil bit. I was gettin some unemployment, but it was really only enough to pay the bills and take care of the lil one.

Sad to say, but I was working for Bank of America(those bastards) in their foreclosure department handling documents making a good bit of change to the point where I could propertly take care of the family. But I was only working with them through an agency and got let go when they were gonna bring me on full time because I got let go from two jobs in the past 7 years. So now I work at a department store making it do what it do. Me and my girl live together just trying to stay afloat amongst the bullshit. I keep telling myself, Im only 25 now, shit will get better once I hit 30. But sure doesnt look that way.

 

[Mt Airy Groove]

did u finish school?

 

[brewdawg1]

You have to do better just for you bro. If you do that, you're family is going to be OK.

 

[Raytaka]

did u finish school?

Nah Bruh. Back in 04 when I was 18, I bullshitted in school for the next 6-7 years thinking it was a game and those student loans caught up wit my ass. SO I said fuck it, Imma be serious about and worry about the amount later. I had to drop outta school because bills had to be paid.

Ive made a series of fucked up decisions in my life, and the one time when I try to do the right thing and turn my life around for the benefit of my family and me shit just goes wrong.

Not trying to get a pity party started, but looking for some helpful advice and opinions.

 

[Deacs]

Dude, I am sorry and I understand your pain, my mother tortured my wife for a decade and she took it on the chin, stuff which I found out years down the line... the answer is simple since you are older. Cut the cancer out of your life, blood or not. If there is someone holding you down, breaking you down, simply being a crab, cut them. Your happiness and well being is what matters, the family which you are obligated to is.what matters, those who don't stand with you will fuck you over, so be at peace. You can't chose the clan who birthed you, but you can chose to move on from that... they should know hindsight is a bitch and your time is precious

 

[Mt Airy Groove]

Sad to say, but I was working for Bank of America(those bastards) in their foreclosure department handling documents making a good bit of change to the point where I could propertly take care of the family. But I was only working with them through an agency and got let go when they were gonna bring me on full time because I got let go from two jobs in the past 7 years. So now I work at a department store making it do what it do. Me and my girl live together just trying to stay afloat amongst the bullshit. I keep telling myself, Im only 25 now, shit will get better once I hit 30. But sure doesnt look that way.

its rough out here bruh but keep pushing. Things will get better. Keep a positive out look, keep working and it'll get better...trust.
Sounds like u got a good woman who has your back and that's half the battle. A few years from now you'll be taking your lady to Ruth Chris and the bs you are going through today will be a distant memory.

 

[Raytaka]

Dude, I am sorry and I understand your pain, my mother tortured my wife for a decade and she took it on the chin, stuff which I found out years down the line... the answer is simple since you are older. Cut the cancer out of your life, blood or not. If there is someone holding you down, breaking you down, simply being a crab, cut them. Your happiness and well being is what matters, the family which you are obligated to is.what matters, those who don't stand with you will fuck you over, so be at peace. You can't chose the clan who birthed you, but you can chose to move on from that... they should know hindsight is a bitch and your time is precious

Thanks for that homie. The sad part that I didnt add to the story is, everytime my moms or both moms and pops touch down in PA they feel as though I am OBLIGATED to bring my daughter to them because that is their grandchild. Yet they will NOT come to my house and spend time with her and chill with my and the wifey at my crib. Wifey already said that she would leave the crib if it was all like that if my moms really wanted to see my kid all like that. But they got everyone on my moms side and my stepdad dads side of the family thinking that I am evil and keeping my daughter away from them. Help me out here, am I the one thats wrong?

 

[34real]

Join the military which ever branch,get your bills in order,go back to college and get your family back on track or try to fix the damage that was done,if u can.good luck.

 

[Raytaka]

Join the military which ever branch,get your bills in order,go back to college and get your family back on track or try to fix the damage that was done,if u can.good luck.

Thats real talk. Thanks bruh.

 

[DAYNE]

i quit the seemingly good job at the bank and went back to school as well; but i didn't have a fucking family to support when i did it. Is there anyway you can get your old job back?

 

[standardb]

If you are not a weak ass, scary cat look to West Africa ( Sierra Leone, Liberia, G. Bissau) you could fuck up and become a millionaire and laugh at your extended family, but hook your mom up regardless

 

[Crown&Coke]

Cant choose family...but you can choose which family members to cut off. ​

 

[Raytaka]

i quit the seemingly good job at the bank and went back to school as well; but i didn't have a fucking family to support when i did it. Is there anyway you can get your old job back?

That was the first place I looked bruh. Once you leave PNC, they blackball you from EVER coming back.

 

[melonpecan]

I'm sorry if this seem a little mean but from what it look like, don't be looking to your family for SHIT. They don't owe you nothing so don't wait for the kinfolk handout.

If you and your girl staying together and trying to work it out, do for your child first, and you and your girl can come later. If you feel that you going to school is what you need talk with your woman. If you start paying on your loans again you should be able to take some more out if need be. Don't know about PA state or private schools but here in Georgia a full time employee at a state school gets free tuition to any state school. So even if you gotta take the night shift custodian, you still going to school for free. That might be an option if you don't want to go to the military...when I was unemployed the thought crossed my mind but I didn't want to be away from my child.

Best thing you can do is talk with your woman and cut folks off in the family. Eventually when you pull it together and figure out what work for you and yours they can either come around and pat you on the back or ask for a handout. Either way stay strong.

 

[qseal00]

My dude, if you got a child with her and ya'll living together get off that family tip and take care of yo old lady and ya kid. If moms or anyone else can't get with that, fuck em. Also, you and ya girl need to get a lil counseling, or really sit down and hash out ALL the past shit yall been through to forge a better relationship.

You never mentioned WHY ya'll was falling out so bad, but if you cheating and getting caught, or in the streets all hours of the night, or whatever meaningless shit ya'll fighting over, find out why the shit is happening and then cut that shit out.

Shit's not cool with yo old lady throwing you out the house and shit.

 

[Deacs]

Thanks for that homie. The sad part that I didnt add to the story is, everytime my moms or both moms and pops touch down in PA they feel as though I am OBLIGATED to bring my daughter to them because that is their grandchild. Yet they will NOT come to my house and spend time with her and chill with my and the wifey at my crib. Wifey already said that she would leave the crib if it was all like that if my moms really wanted to see my kid all like that. But they got everyone on my moms side and my stepdad dads side of the family thinking that I am evil and keeping my daughter away from them. Help me out here, am I the one thats wrong?

No...
Its like this, family in the old days meant something, those were your familia; those you can trust with blood and life... its not like that anymore, why I don't know, but something was.lost over time.

Once you became an adult, their obligation to raise you is over, there authority to rule is.nullified, contract paid in full. They lived their life, raised you, and now need to step back on authority.
They will play family against you, because they know that is.your weakness, their manipulation is a tool to get their results. Since relatives are simply ignorant people related by blood... they act as cancer as well. Pretty much anyone you haven't build a friendship with will do what the rest are doing....

Once you married, your priority is to the marriage, to your kids, and then the rest. Period. They could say what they want, but they placed their marriage first as well and now selfishly messing with your peace.

 

[hsm2448]

man you are still young, i don't say that to say it's ok for you to fuck up, but just to let you know that you have plenty of life ahead of you - that life is never just about peaks, and that you have to go navigate your way through the valleys as well.

the first thing i would say is to do whatever it takes for you to support your family. put your pride aside. when you are taking care of them and not having to rely on others i bet you will feel much better about your situation and a lot of the emotional/mental strain will go away.

secondly, like everyone else has said you need to start cutting off the family that you think is holding you back. but before you take that step maybe call them together and let out whatever issues/frustrations you have with them. it may be that you guys have imperfect information/assumptions. if that fails then just let it go.

keep your head up, and i would say dont be shy about asking for help from anyone. oftentimes a different/fresh perspective will help you see things that you may overlook.

 

[DAYNE]

I'm sorry if this seem a little mean but from what it look like, don't be looking to your family for SHIT. They don't owe you nothing so don't g on your loans again you should .

then what the fuck is family for then?

you can't make it in this world by yourself you got to have somebody to depend on when times get hard

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

Thanks for that homie. The sad part that I didnt add to the story is, everytime my moms or both moms and pops touch down in PA they feel as though I am OBLIGATED to bring my daughter to them because that is their grandchild. Yet they will NOT come to my house and spend time with her and chill with my and the wifey at my crib. Wifey already said that she would leave the crib if it was all like that if my moms really wanted to see my kid all like that. But they got everyone on my moms side and my stepdad dads side of the family thinking that I am evil and keeping my daughter away from them. Help me out here, am I the one thats wrong?

ok

1st stop tripping either you wanna be with your girl or you don't. fucking up aint cutting it. she obviously still loved/loves you if she did all the shit she would be doing if yall were living together and supporting you for the reasons you mentioned.

there comes a time when family just is a name and not an action and yours has proven to be just that.
you shouldn't feel sorry for not fucking with any of them even your moms because in the end you are your own man and if they cannot do ANYTHING on your terms then they don't care or respect you.
the whole you have to bring her to them if they visit YOUR CITY is utter bullshit.
either they come to where you arrange OR they don't see her and that's on them.
the best thing to do is to stop giving a fuck about them or their actions
stop trying to be a part of a group that clearly wants no part of you.
and if they only want to help when its convenient for them then they're not helping.
fuck them
live with your girl get your shit together and be happy.
your mom is dead wrong and in this situation its an easy choice. cut ya family off and be with your girl and your new family.
fuck sticking around and being a lap dog to some people who clearly don't want to help you and totally disrespect you as a man.
you won't miss them they'll miss you.
you do right and they'll try and come back...and if your daughter wants to know that side of her family it'll be on YOUR TERMS.
take control of your own life and stop worrying about what they think about it. cause as you have said they've proven they don't have your best interest at heart.

sometimes you gotta say fuck it

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

then what the fuck is family for then?

you can't make it in this world by yourself you got to have somebody to depend on when times get hard

and he has that in his girl.
at every instance of him being out on his ass his family didn't help him at all. so really what is their point in his life?
when the shit was at the nitty gritty they didn't do shit but look to see what happened...that aint family
and there's only so many times you can sit and let that shit happen before it turns from a situation of them being fucked up into a situation of you being a damn fool

 

[melonpecan]

then what the fuck is family for then?

you can't make it in this world by yourself you got to have somebody to depend on when times get hard

I would explain but...

and he has that in his girl.
at every instance of him being out on his ass his family didn't help him at all. so really what is their point in his life?
when the shit was at the nitty gritty they didn't do shit but look to see what happened...that aint family
and there's only so many times you can sit and let that shit happen before it turns from a situation of them being fucked up into a situation of you being a damn fool

...this here say it all.



First off as a man (or a woman) you do everything in your power to do for you and yours FIRST. If you need help from your fam you save that shit as a last resort. Everybody might not think like that but my family ain't good for holding a piss pot still.

Now you wanna talk about someone being on his side? If the person that kicked dude out the house is the one taking care of dude, that's some issues there that we not getting - and that's cool if dude ain't want to put it all out like that. But chick obviously want him to do better for him and for their kid and she care for him regardless of putting him out.

If dude need a rock she in the bed with him. Now if his fam can play nice and they can either get past the petty shit or air out grievances, cool and dandy. But in my book depending on what people you related to, you feed them mufuckas on a budget with a ten foot pole in a hazmat suit.

 

[Rick Ronson]

I step carefully through life cause this shit is filled with land mines

Work it out slim!!!!!!

Sounds like you got the type of girl you need to win...so find a way to.

Shit is rough right now though for sure.

 

[4North1Side2]

Your woman and daughter is your main priority, everyone else comes 2nd.

 

[cbm_redux]

Once the doctor told us we was pregnant...

"We were pregnant?" I can't believe that you said that absurd bullshit.

 

[cbm_redux]

Your woman and daughter is your main priority, everyone else comes 2nd.

You sound like a damn fool. Daughter, yes (assuming that she is your daughter.) Woman? hell fuck naw. That bitch is easily replaceable. There is only one woman who will, if needs be--put her house up for you without batting an eyelash... and it's not some bitch you met in a bar somewhere.

 

[NinjaspiT]

Lord Katsushige always used to say that there are four kinds of retainers. They are the "quick, then lapping," the "lagging, then quick," the "continually quick," and the ''continually lagging.''

The "continually quick" are men who when given orders will undertake their execution quickly and settle the matter well. Fukuchi Kichizaemon and the like resemble this type.

The "lagging, then quick" are men who, though lacking in understanding when given orders, prepare quickly and bring the matter to a conclusion. I suppose that Nakano Kazuma and men similar are like this.

The "quick, then lagging" are men who when given orders seem to be going to settle things but in their preparation take time and procrastinate. There are many people like this.

Other than these, one could say that the rest are ''continually lagging."

 

[4North1Side2]

You sound like a damn fool. Daughter, yes (assuming that she is your daughter.) Woman? hell fuck naw. That bitch is easily replaceable. There is only one woman who will, if needs be--put her house up for you without batting an eyelash... and it's not some bitch you met in a bar somewhere.

Sorry about your shitty situation mama boy but I've been with my Wife for 6 years and didn't meet her in a bar/club setting thank you very much.

 

[moblack]

OP is leaving out important parts of the story. Why do they hate yourgirlfriend?

 

[qseal00]

OP is leaving out important parts of the story. Why do they hate yourgirlfriend?

If he's going to stay with her, it don't really matter why they hate her. If he's running and telling all the bad shit she may/may not do, then yeah, it's his fault.

 

[CUB2006]

Got damn bruh.. you going through some shit! Take care of your family dude.! Meaning your girl and the baby. Thats your family now. Your focus should be on that and nothing else.

 

[ghour]

Don't take any of this personal but you say you have a job, your young you can get a 2nd job so you won't have to depend on others, and next time your girl try kicking you out take your hand grab your dick and tell her I ain't leaving this motherfucker and go and take your ass to sleep after that so you can go to work.