Why would a sista want to hook up with a married man?

smoovejazz

Rising Star
Platinum Member
I've seen this happen a few times...

I mean, why settle for half of a relationship? If the man really wanted to be with you, he would have left his wife! There are sistas who would rather hook up with a married man than a man who's not attached! Why be in a half-assed relationship when you can be in a full one? What about the wife? How would you feel if YOU were the wife?
 
This is a really good question ... I've never been with a married man myself cuz I wont settle for half a relationship ... but I hear some women do it because they don't have to put they're all into it since he's already got a girl and all ... it's like you only have to do the fun parts ... like accept gifts and fuck him ... you aint got to worry about him not coming home and shit ... it's surprising to me the amount of women who will settle for a married man .. it's come to the point now where men don't even lie anymore about being married cuz they know alot of girls don't care:smh:
 
Either thats exactly what they want or they rather the glass half full than empty.
 
Now if someone told you that you can have a relationship with a man who is financial well-off, is going to pamper you, give you good loving and you will have no emotional drama, you'd think about it. The only draw is that there is no commitment & you have to share him. COmpare that to the alternative that a lot of women face. A cool brother who may or may not be financially well-off, WILL NOT pamper you so he's not "simping", all kinds of emotional drama, good or bad sex, he is unwilling to commit to you, and he's dicking down plenty of women other than you. A married man is the same as a single man.

(I do not mess with married men. I'm just saying)
 
There is no simple answer to that question, those who think there is are delusional. There are a lot of factors as to why ladies enjoy the company of married men.
 
There is no simple answer to that question, those who think there is are delusional. There are a lot of factors as to why ladies enjoy the company of married men.

This is true, and I ain't gonna hate on it until people start to believe that what they have with a married man has some sort of emotional bond or spark.

Once you start telling yourself "he does love me" or "he's just has a situation right now" you have gone into denial and need to be chin checked back into reality.

Reality being that no matter what he spends on you, you are a side piece. Never confuse THAT with being in a relationship.
 
Sista's hook up with married men because:

A married man can't make demands on her but if she wants him to stop buy he's going to be there

She gets what she wants sexually then he has to go home

She doesn't have to worry about his laundry or cooking for him every night

He's going to remember her birthdays and buy her presents

She gets all these things yet she still maintains her freedom
 
NUMBER ONE REASON ... these types of women obviously don't respect themselves or any other women for that matter

I Approve this message. My ex-dated a married man and she admitted, after the relationship was over, that she knew He didn't give a shit about her, but for her, she didn't have to try. Plus she had "VERY" low self-esteem, that's when I learned that even attractive women don't necessarily have high self-esteem. She wasn't unattractive by a long shot and could easily get dates. The things women settle for, I'll never understand it, so I keep it movin'.
 
Sista's hook up with married men because:

A married man can't make demands on her but if she wants him to stop buy he's going to be there

She gets what she wants sexually then he has to go home

She doesn't have to worry about his laundry or cooking for him every night

He's going to remember her birthdays and buy her presents

She gets all these things yet she still maintains her freedom

:yes: Although its not right at all I agree!
 
That's a cop out. Ladies blame low self esteem on so many things. Like domestic violence, multiple babies, always shopping, always drinking, lack of discipline, etc. Why not just man or woman up and say; just because I want to as the reason for sleeping with a married man or all of the other things listed above.

You can't shed accountability.
 
some women do it because they don't have to put they're all into it since he's already got a girl and all ... it's like you only have to do the fun parts ... like accept gifts and fuck him ... you aint got to worry about him not coming home and shit .


I think this was the best answer:yes:
 
That's a cop out. Ladies blame low self esteem on so many things. Like domestic violence, multiple babies, always shopping, always drinking, lack of discipline, etc. Why not just man or woman up and say; just because I want to as the reason for sleeping with a married man or all of the other things listed above.

You can't shed accountability.



yes i agree...some females sleep with married men cuz they want to...they want that man and he just happens to be married and they don't care. but then u have those who SEEK out married men..that is a different story...there is something else, something more than just wanting to have sex...who goes into something, especially something intimate...KNOWING they will never be #1, wont be acknowledged together in public, have to sneak around and all the other reasons....someone who is masking their esteem with sex, b/c u r temporarily wanted which gives u a high, but then u come down...and u keep feeding the beast, never working on your esteem

and don't underplay the power or lack of power that comes from low self-esteem...all the things u listed as results of low self esteem are actually very plausible.
 
I'm surprised no one has said because they want to take something that is supposed to be off limits or someone else's.

Women enjoy a challenge just as much as men do.
 
Exactly...I know someone who does it just because she can. It's like some sort of thrill for her.
 
Not all women walk into a situation knowing that the dude is married. I dont know how many times I have stopped dealing with a dude because I did'nt have his home number or he would be inaccessible at certain times of the day. Here on the east coast its even harder because most people don't have house phones.

In any event there are a lot of dudes who lie about their status... and if they catch the right one she falls in love, and by then its to late.

I'm not defending it just giving another side to it...

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This is a dumb question. I have women that know full well that I am married. Never hid it. But still want to fuck with me. Doesn't make any sense to me but I'll play along with it to a certain point. And all you women that claim you wouldn't fuck with a married man are liars. Y'all would fuck with a married man, without giving the wife a second thought, if the situation was right and benefited you. I've seen it first hand. GTFOH
 
This is a dumb question. I have women that know full well that I am married. Never hid it. But still want to fuck with me. Doesn't make any sense to me but I'll play along with it to a certain point. And all you women that claim you wouldn't fuck with a married man are liars. Y'all would fuck with a married man, without giving the wife a second thought, if the situation was right and benefited you. I've seen it first hand. GTFOH

No ... this is false ... please don't clump all women in the same category as a couple of females that you know ... I HAVE NEVER OR WILL NEVER be with a married man ... I have met alot of married men and been promised alot of things and I've never taken any of them up on any of their offers because any sex, gifts, or time he gives me wont be worth the bad Charma ... and also I'm worth much more than being some silly boys side piece:cool:
 
No ... this is false ... please don't clump all women in the same category as a couple of females that you know ... I HAVE NEVER OR WILL NEVER be with a married man ... I have met alot of married men and been promised alot of things and I've never taken any of them up on any of their offers because any sex, gifts, or time he gives me wont be worth the bad Charma ... and also I'm worth much more than being some silly boys side piece:cool:

Ahem did u mean Karma.:rolleyes::yes:
 
I'm surprised no one has said because they want to take something that is supposed to be off limits or someone else's.

Women enjoy a challenge just as much as men do.
I don't think it has anything to do with self-esteem for most women who kick it with married men. I see these types of women as opportunists and very selfish people. On the contrary, I think most of them have large egos, like it doesn't matter about the wife & kids, I'm worth it/I deserve it

Low self esteem and they've given up on finding a real relationship.

Please. Getting a married man is nothing these days. It's almost expected that a married man has girlfriend(s). They go seeking women out usually and not the other way around.
 
This is an interesting topic. It seems to me that the answers lie more in history than in the silly and sometimes immature responses here. As long as there has been marriage there has been the "side piece". First and foremost the true definition of marriage was that of a proprietary relationship meaning a "wife" was owned by a husband in the context of the Bible. As such the wife was charged with the duties of running a household. Originally men were allowed concubines without limit, as long as the man could provide for the same. Which explains adultery as what it was- Thou shall not commit adultery- Meaning do not steal another man's property. If you don't believe me look it up. Over recent times some how the notion of marriage changed to reflect a nurturing relationship. This doesn't account for the multitude of arranged marriages throughout the years where love or even a notion of liking the other person came into play. For all those women who have disdain for married men or women that deal with them, you may wish to look up history to figure that out. So many people have taken the religion to a level it was never intended for. Violation of sacred trust?? How can that be when the intent was never sacred in the first place.

Just my .02- Historically accurate though.
 
Okay, I see these justifications for the "positives" of being with a married man...but what if you were that married man's wife and you found out you were getting played? For those ladies who fuck around with married men...be careful, because "K"arma (sorry, I couldn't resist:D) is the biggest bitch of them all...you could be married one day and you're getting played by a side piece...
 
Okay, here's my situation. I've been separated from my wife for over two years. She's now living common law with a man she had another child with. We've sat down together and made our own agreements in regards to property division, child support, and visitation without the need for lawyers, judges, or mediators. We are never going to get back together or be friends again, but we still have an amicable relationship. We want to keep it that way and so we've agreed not to get a divorce unless one of us decides to remarry.

Now why would my marriage be a barrier to a future partner?
 
Okay, here's my situation. I've been separated from my wife for over two years. She's now living common law with a man she had another child with. We've sat down together and made our own agreements in regards to property division, child support, and visitation without the need for lawyers, judges, or mediators. We are never going to get back together or be friends again, but we still have an amicable relationship. We want to keep it that way and so we've agreed not to get a divorce unless one of us decides to remarry.

Now why would my marriage be a barrier to a future partner?

That's different ... we're talking about women who date men who are currently married ... meaning there is no seperation or pending divorce
 
This is an interesting topic. It seems to me that the answers lie more in history than in the silly and sometimes immature responses here. As long as there has been marriage there has been the "side piece". First and foremost the true definition of marriage was that of a proprietary relationship meaning a "wife" was owned by a husband in the context of the Bible. As such the wife was charged with the duties of running a household. Originally men were allowed concubines without limit, as long as the man could provide for the same. Which explains adultery as what it was- Thou shall not commit adultery- Meaning do not steal another man's property. If you don't believe me look it up. Over recent times some how the notion of marriage changed to reflect a nurturing relationship. This doesn't account for the multitude of arranged marriages throughout the years where love or even a notion of liking the other person came into play. For all those women who have disdain for married men or women that deal with them, you may wish to look up history to figure that out. So many people have taken the religion to a level it was never intended for. Violation of sacred trust?? How can that be when the intent was never sacred in the first place.

Just my .02- Historically accurate though.

Uh, we're not in Biblical times here. And the commandment is "thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife". and the line about, "somehow the notion of marriage changed" I'd like to think we're a little more civilized than we were 2 or 3 THOUSAND years ago. They had slaves back then too. Ya wanna go back to that too? Don't use that one Homie. Your trying to bend religion to suit your argument. Adultery is wrong. People may do it on a whim but, it's wrong.
 
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Okay, I see these justifications for the "positives" of being with a married man...but what if you were that married man's wife and you found out you were getting played? For those ladies who fuck around with married men...be careful, because "K"arma (sorry, I couldn't resist:D) is the biggest bitch of them all...you could be married one day and you're getting played by a side piece...

F*** that. Dam the Karma. The shit is wrong. W R O N G Take it a step further SJ, how 'bout if it was there Momma gettin' played. It would be a different story then though. Right? My Dad used to have a saying about having to have to work two jobs. He used to tell me "if you gotta work two jobs, ain't neither one of them worth a dam. The same holds true for relationships to me. If you gotta have two, scratch BOTH of them and start anew.
 
Okay, here's my situation. I've been separated from my wife for over two years. She's now living common law with a man she had another child with. We've sat down together and made our own agreements in regards to property division, child support, and visitation without the need for lawyers, judges, or mediators. We are never going to get back together or be friends again, but we still have an amicable relationship. We want to keep it that way and so we've agreed not to get a divorce unless one of us decides to remarry.

Now why would my marriage be a barrier to a future partner?

So let me get this straight...you're going to fuck with other women and your wife is with another man, you're both still married and unless you or her remarry, you're staying married? God almighty, I must have fell asleep in a time capsule, cause the shit out here in the 21st is just mind boggling. Take this to the bank, your next relationship will fail too, cause that's just too much for another woman to take on.

Fuckin' another woman, while you married talkin' about bein' amicable with your STILL wife....let me break it down to you pawtna:

1. You're not divorcing because your ex will clean your shit out if you do.
2. This bullshit agreement you got goin' on, allows you to negotiate.
3. Just because you want to save your selfish ass, doesn't make it fair to
somebody you bring into your situation.
4. O.k. try and get remarried under your little agreement.

It's shit like this that makes me glad I'm single - it's a jacked up world out here.:smh:
 
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