It was the weekend of October 4th 1996. I was on board the USS Clark (FFG-11) and the captain said, "I know it's the weekend, but there's a hurricane coming. I'm going to cut you guys loose, but just in case I want everyone to come in here Saturday morning.
"The hurricane just turned back out to sea and if it continues on that path I'll cut you loose on Saturday when you guys come in."
So Friday night, my boy Walker had a birthday party... and I drank everything in sight. I had some Alize, some Tanqueray, a beer or two, and 3 homemade Gin & Juice (1 part Gin, 3 parts Juice)
Then we ran out of juice.
So I made the last one, one part Juice, 3 parts Gin to fill the glass.
It was that moment...that Godofwine knew...he fucked up
I was dancing with this hot chick and all of a sudden Mike Tyson punched me in the jaw...figuratively.
Next thing I knew I had my head and someone's toilet praying to the porcelain Gods with tithes and offerings of my last plate.
They Carried me back on board at 5:30. At 6:30 they woke me up and said Godofwine, we gotta get underway.
The hurricane turned back to Norfolk and we had to vacate the premises and leave pier side.
I was number one line Handler and when I threw the Rope to the pier batshit what about 3 ft, 20+ feet short of the pier.
"Godofwine, WTF is wrong with you?" BM1 Watkins said.
Now, I know how the Navy feels about underage drinking. I once witnessed a guy being caught underage drinking the night before his 21st birthday at his punishment was half months pay for 3 months (the guy snitched on him had to walk with bodyguards the rest of the time he was on base)
I wasn't gonna get caught up. So my half drunk 19-year-old ass thought of a lie...and not a good one.
"I'm seasick, Boats" (what we call Boatswains Mates)
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT THE PIER YET!!! Get to the back of the line"
We cast off and when I say the swells were rough off the coast of Norfolk, Virginia I was NOT PLAYING.
So, I was Mess Cranking, working in the kitchen (for my non-Navy folks).
My First Class Petty Officer saw how bad I was and said, "Godofwine, go to bed. Come back for Mid Rats (midnight rations, for the people who have the midnight watch and those getting off the midnight watch).
I slept for 12 hours and woke up not knowing if I was coming or going. We had to put our boots underneath our mattresses just to keep from falling out!
One guy forgot to put his boots underneath his mattress and when the ship pitched he flew from his top rack to an empty middle rack across a 4-foot pathway.
He was lucky he didn't hit anything.
I had my sea legs from the first time I got on board. I never got seasick. But the combination between being hungover and seasick was too much to bear.
Being hungover drunk is one thing, but being hungover a drunk, having to work and working through a hurricane storm was next level.
I got up at 11 p.m. and served MidRats. Since everyone was almost as fucked up because of the waves, everyone understood and no one gave anyone shit.
I had never seen people so nice to everyone at any time during my Navy career. No one fucked with anyone.
As I'm cleaning up around 12:15 about to go to bed, someone asked me to make my famous Iced Tea. I was known for this on board. The right amount of sugar, tea, lemons - and even though I was feeling like shit, I did it. It felt good to be known for making something on board the ship.
I put the the 8-gallon tea kettle on the tray holder, poured just the perfect amount of sugar, added 5 gallons of hot water to dissolve the sugar. Then I bent down to get the tea bags...and again, for the 2nd time in less than 2 days
The ship pitched, and 5 gallons of hot sugary water went tumbling onto the deck.
But that wasn't the worst part. Because the ship was pitching left and right, front to back, port and starboard and forward and aft, all that water was soon all over the mess decks (eating area).
Sugary water is sticky when it dries, and there was sugary water EVERYWHERE!
The water was going...
Even after I got all the water up, I had to pour down more hot water just to get up all the sugary water that dried up so the floor wouldn't be sticky. And that water sloshed everywhere.
Then I had to get all the sticky footprints from people who had walked through it all over the ship.
It was Pure T. Hell.
I started at 12:15, I didn't get done until 3:15. And I had to wake up at 5am for breakfast.
For 4 days it felt like my ship had gone through The Perfect Storm. That hurricane kicked my ass. I had a hangover that lasted four days!
When we finally hit the pier on the fourth day, my captain took it easy on us and gave us two days off for the weekend we missed. I slept for those two days.
That had to be one hell of a hurricane. The waves were treacherous. We had salty dogs, guys who had been to sea so many times, guys with ten to twenty years of Navy service and even those guys were throwing up left and right.
I'm not lying at all when I say the waves were as big as the ship.
Then I tell you, 4 Dimensional, this story and you tell me it wasn't even a fucking hurricane, but a tropical storm (not as powerful as a hurricane)
The last time I got drunk was October 4th 1996. That week was Pure T Hell
"The hurricane just turned back out to sea and if it continues on that path I'll cut you loose on Saturday when you guys come in."
So Friday night, my boy Walker had a birthday party... and I drank everything in sight. I had some Alize, some Tanqueray, a beer or two, and 3 homemade Gin & Juice (1 part Gin, 3 parts Juice)
Then we ran out of juice.
So I made the last one, one part Juice, 3 parts Gin to fill the glass.
It was that moment...that Godofwine knew...he fucked up
I was dancing with this hot chick and all of a sudden Mike Tyson punched me in the jaw...figuratively.
Next thing I knew I had my head and someone's toilet praying to the porcelain Gods with tithes and offerings of my last plate.
They Carried me back on board at 5:30. At 6:30 they woke me up and said Godofwine, we gotta get underway.
The hurricane turned back to Norfolk and we had to vacate the premises and leave pier side.
I was number one line Handler and when I threw the Rope to the pier batshit what about 3 ft, 20+ feet short of the pier.
"Godofwine, WTF is wrong with you?" BM1 Watkins said.
Now, I know how the Navy feels about underage drinking. I once witnessed a guy being caught underage drinking the night before his 21st birthday at his punishment was half months pay for 3 months (the guy snitched on him had to walk with bodyguards the rest of the time he was on base)
I wasn't gonna get caught up. So my half drunk 19-year-old ass thought of a lie...and not a good one.
"I'm seasick, Boats" (what we call Boatswains Mates)
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT THE PIER YET!!! Get to the back of the line"
We cast off and when I say the swells were rough off the coast of Norfolk, Virginia I was NOT PLAYING.
So, I was Mess Cranking, working in the kitchen (for my non-Navy folks).
My First Class Petty Officer saw how bad I was and said, "Godofwine, go to bed. Come back for Mid Rats (midnight rations, for the people who have the midnight watch and those getting off the midnight watch).
I slept for 12 hours and woke up not knowing if I was coming or going. We had to put our boots underneath our mattresses just to keep from falling out!
One guy forgot to put his boots underneath his mattress and when the ship pitched he flew from his top rack to an empty middle rack across a 4-foot pathway.
He was lucky he didn't hit anything.
I had my sea legs from the first time I got on board. I never got seasick. But the combination between being hungover and seasick was too much to bear.
Being hungover drunk is one thing, but being hungover a drunk, having to work and working through a hurricane storm was next level.
I got up at 11 p.m. and served MidRats. Since everyone was almost as fucked up because of the waves, everyone understood and no one gave anyone shit.
I had never seen people so nice to everyone at any time during my Navy career. No one fucked with anyone.
As I'm cleaning up around 12:15 about to go to bed, someone asked me to make my famous Iced Tea. I was known for this on board. The right amount of sugar, tea, lemons - and even though I was feeling like shit, I did it. It felt good to be known for making something on board the ship.
I put the the 8-gallon tea kettle on the tray holder, poured just the perfect amount of sugar, added 5 gallons of hot water to dissolve the sugar. Then I bent down to get the tea bags...and again, for the 2nd time in less than 2 days
The ship pitched, and 5 gallons of hot sugary water went tumbling onto the deck.
But that wasn't the worst part. Because the ship was pitching left and right, front to back, port and starboard and forward and aft, all that water was soon all over the mess decks (eating area).
Sugary water is sticky when it dries, and there was sugary water EVERYWHERE!
The water was going...
Even after I got all the water up, I had to pour down more hot water just to get up all the sugary water that dried up so the floor wouldn't be sticky. And that water sloshed everywhere.
Then I had to get all the sticky footprints from people who had walked through it all over the ship.
It was Pure T. Hell.
I started at 12:15, I didn't get done until 3:15. And I had to wake up at 5am for breakfast.
For 4 days it felt like my ship had gone through The Perfect Storm. That hurricane kicked my ass. I had a hangover that lasted four days!
When we finally hit the pier on the fourth day, my captain took it easy on us and gave us two days off for the weekend we missed. I slept for those two days.
That had to be one hell of a hurricane. The waves were treacherous. We had salty dogs, guys who had been to sea so many times, guys with ten to twenty years of Navy service and even those guys were throwing up left and right.
I'm not lying at all when I say the waves were as big as the ship.
Then I tell you, 4 Dimensional, this story and you tell me it wasn't even a fucking hurricane, but a tropical storm (not as powerful as a hurricane)
The last time I got drunk was October 4th 1996. That week was Pure T Hell
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good times! Shot out to "LVMH & Diageo" .
