What if your fiancee wanted to keep her last name?
- Thread starter Jabajaw
- Start date
I cant marry a woman that wont take my last name. Unless she was famous or it was for business purposes, she need to have my name or we cant marry. To this day, my mother still signs things "Mrs. then my fathers name"
This will probably be the most controversial thing I have said to date on BGOL, but fuck it I got thick skin. 
After reading this thread I have come to the conclusion that some of you dudes ain't shit. Just some sexist ass misogynistic insecure sons of bitches. Your reasoning defies logic. You (unfortunately) like many of our other brothers wanna act like well off, rich whitey with the homemaker wife that bows to his every whim. Well guess what? You are not whitey.
If you want a woman that conventionally bows to you in every way, than get up off your ass and be the SOLE provider. No way that a two income household, where both of the adults are working equally hard can act like a house where only the man is bringing home the bacon and the woman is tending the house/raising the kids. That is not the reality for most people especially those of us that are black.
You have no right to demand that your woman be suzie homemaker if she's workin' just as hard as your ass and gettin' home like 30 minutes before, or even later than you, five to six days a week. Who the fuck are you? Place a lot of these women in situations where they don't have to work, and they will be glad to "submit" to you in some of the ways that you seem to require. Until you are in a position to do this, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All this shit about the only way she better keep her name is if she is making money off of it, please what about basic identity mufucka? She was a person before she met you, she is a person while she is with you, and she will be a person if she leaves your ass or you die first. You want to keep your name, why? Because of its identification. Should any fully autonomous person want anything less?
Also, to those of you that say my Dad wore the pants but my mom was still strong; Congratulations! You just described every complete black family. And guess what, your dad, like mine may have walked hard, carried a big belt, and gotten the last word, but you knew who was making some of the decisions. A lot of times, the woman was handling some things behind the scenes and or keeping things together, and allowing the man to have the last word in order to appease his fragile male ego. Not to mention the fact that our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts that had men "in charge" of the household, put up with shit that any self respecting husband WILL NOT put their wife through (i.e. women outside the home).
My wife didn't hyphenate her name. She dropped her middle name and took my last name, meaning her last name is now her middle name, but potato pot-a-to, same difference. She did so because of identification and guess what, she made the decision because it is her name. She said I don't want to hyphenate cause its ugly, but I do want to keep my last name as a part of my identification because its how I have been identified for all of my life up until this point, and I want people that knew me before to be able to recognize and find me.
And it has nothing to do with who "wears the pants", people that are married and have been for sometime realize that this shit is so small on the scale of life issues, problems, and joys that you will encounter as a couple. No one "wears the pants" so to speak in every single situation. The person that "wears the pants" in a given situation is the more rational solutions oriented person with either the resources, or the plan for using the joint resources to handle whatever issue is being encountered. Surprise Surprise, this WILL NOT be the man in every situation.
Lastly, this whole "western civilization is weak" is complete bullshit.
That same western civilization colonized 90% of the world and impregnated its societies with its patriarchal views. That same western civilization is responsible for the creation of the perceived male and female roles in America, and yes, your fucked up thinking. Women are not traditionally considered the weaker, more subservient people in every culture, especially a number of African cultures, at least as they were originally conceived.
Basically, all of you need to step back and question why A NAME bothers you so much. Is it an attack on your own fragile ego, sense of sexuality or self?
After reading this thread I have come to the conclusion that some of you dudes ain't shit. Just some sexist ass misogynistic insecure sons of bitches. Your reasoning defies logic. You (unfortunately) like many of our other brothers wanna act like well off, rich whitey with the homemaker wife that bows to his every whim. Well guess what? You are not whitey. If you want a woman that conventionally bows to you in every way, than get up off your ass and be the SOLE provider. No way that a two income household, where both of the adults are working equally hard can act like a house where only the man is bringing home the bacon and the woman is tending the house/raising the kids. That is not the reality for most people especially those of us that are black.
You have no right to demand that your woman be suzie homemaker if she's workin' just as hard as your ass and gettin' home like 30 minutes before, or even later than you, five to six days a week. Who the fuck are you? Place a lot of these women in situations where they don't have to work, and they will be glad to "submit" to you in some of the ways that you seem to require. Until you are in a position to do this, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All this shit about the only way she better keep her name is if she is making money off of it, please what about basic identity mufucka? She was a person before she met you, she is a person while she is with you, and she will be a person if she leaves your ass or you die first. You want to keep your name, why? Because of its identification. Should any fully autonomous person want anything less?
Also, to those of you that say my Dad wore the pants but my mom was still strong; Congratulations! You just described every complete black family. And guess what, your dad, like mine may have walked hard, carried a big belt, and gotten the last word, but you knew who was making some of the decisions. A lot of times, the woman was handling some things behind the scenes and or keeping things together, and allowing the man to have the last word in order to appease his fragile male ego. Not to mention the fact that our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts that had men "in charge" of the household, put up with shit that any self respecting husband WILL NOT put their wife through (i.e. women outside the home).
My wife didn't hyphenate her name. She dropped her middle name and took my last name, meaning her last name is now her middle name, but potato pot-a-to, same difference. She did so because of identification and guess what, she made the decision because it is her name. She said I don't want to hyphenate cause its ugly, but I do want to keep my last name as a part of my identification because its how I have been identified for all of my life up until this point, and I want people that knew me before to be able to recognize and find me.
And it has nothing to do with who "wears the pants", people that are married and have been for sometime realize that this shit is so small on the scale of life issues, problems, and joys that you will encounter as a couple. No one "wears the pants" so to speak in every single situation. The person that "wears the pants" in a given situation is the more rational solutions oriented person with either the resources, or the plan for using the joint resources to handle whatever issue is being encountered. Surprise Surprise, this WILL NOT be the man in every situation.
Lastly, this whole "western civilization is weak" is complete bullshit.
That same western civilization colonized 90% of the world and impregnated its societies with its patriarchal views. That same western civilization is responsible for the creation of the perceived male and female roles in America, and yes, your fucked up thinking. Women are not traditionally considered the weaker, more subservient people in every culture, especially a number of African cultures, at least as they were originally conceived. Basically, all of you need to step back and question why A NAME bothers you so much. Is it an attack on your own fragile ego, sense of sexuality or self?
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This will probably be the most controversial thing I have said to date on BGOL, but fuck it I got thick skin.
If you want a woman that conventionally bows to you in every way, than get up off your ass and be the SOLE provider. No way that a two income household, where both of the adults are working equally hard can act like a house where only the man is bringing home the bacon and the woman is tending the house/raising the kids. That is not the reality for most people especially those of us that are black.
You have no right to demand that your woman be suzie homemaker if she's workin' just as hard as your ass and gettin' home like 30 minutes before, or even later than you, five to six days a week. Who the fuck are you? Place a lot of these women in situations where they don't have to work, and they will be glad to "submit" to you in some of the ways that you seem to require. Until you are in a position to do this, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All this shit about the only way she better keep her name is if she is making money off of it, please what about basic identity mufucka? She was a person before she met you, she is a person while she is with you, and she will be a person if she leaves your ass or you die first. You want to keep your name, why? Because of its identification. Should any fully autonomous person want anything less?
Also, to those of you that say my Dad wore the pants but my mom was still strong; Congratulations! You just described every complete black family. And guess what, your dad, like mine may have walked hard, carried a big belt, and gotten the last word, but you knew who was making some of the decisions. A lot of times, the woman was handling some things behind the scenes and or keeping things together, and allowing the man to have the last word in order to appease his fragile male ego. Not to mention the fact that our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts that had men "in charge" of the household, put up with shit that any self respecting husband WILL NOT put their wife through (i.e. women outside the home).
My wife didn't hyphenate her name. She dropped her middle name and took my last name, meaning her last name is now her middle name, but potato pot-a-to, same difference. She did so because of identification and guess what, she made the decision because it is her name. She said I don't want to hyphenate cause its ugly, but I do want to keep my last name as a part of my identification because its how I have been identified for all of my life up until this point, and I want people that knew me before to be able to recognize and find me.
And it has nothing to do with who "wears the pants", people that are married and have been for sometime realize that this shit is so small on the scale of life issues, problems, and joys that you will encounter as a couple. No one "wears the pants" so to speak in every single situation. The person that "wears the pants" in a given situation is the more rational solutions oriented person with either the resources, or the plan for using the joint resources to handle whatever issue is being encountered. Surprise Surprise, this WILL NOT be the man in every situation.
Lastly, this whole "western civilization is weak" is complete bullshit.
Basically, all of you need to step back and question why A NAME bothers you so much. Is it an attack on your own fragile ego, sense of sexuality or self?
lol
he has a point.
y'all need to man up.....
gospel...my ex-wife pulled that shit on me...3 years later we were divorced..
Exactly. My ex-wife did the same thing. Noticed I said EX-WIFE. She called it her way of being "independent" she never submitted to me as her husband. The sex stopped early and now we are divorced.
My current wife, she couldn't wait to drop her last name for mine completely. I come home to home cooked meals and more sex than I can handle.
This will probably be the most controversial thing I have said to date on BGOL, but fuck it I got thick skin.
If you want a woman that conventionally bows to you in every way, than get up off your ass and be the SOLE provider. No way that a two income household, where both of the adults are working equally hard can act like a house where only the man is bringing home the bacon and the woman is tending the house/raising the kids. That is not the reality for most people especially those of us that are black.
You have no right to demand that your woman be suzie homemaker if she's workin' just as hard as your ass and gettin' home like 30 minutes before, or even later than you, five to six days a week. Who the fuck are you? Place a lot of these women in situations where they don't have to work, and they will be glad to "submit" to you in some of the ways that you seem to require. Until you are in a position to do this, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All this shit about the only way she better keep her name is if she is making money off of it, please what about basic identity mufucka? She was a person before she met you, she is a person while she is with you, and she will be a person if she leaves your ass or you die first. You want to keep your name, why? Because of its identification. Should any fully autonomous person want anything less?
Also, to those of you that say my Dad wore the pants but my mom was still strong; Congratulations! You just described every complete black family. And guess what, your dad, like mine may have walked hard, carried a big belt, and gotten the last word, but you knew who was making some of the decisions. A lot of times, the woman was handling some things behind the scenes and or keeping things together, and allowing the man to have the last word in order to appease his fragile male ego. Not to mention the fact that our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts that had men "in charge" of the household, put up with shit that any self respecting husband WILL NOT put their wife through (i.e. women outside the home).
My wife didn't hyphenate her name. She dropped her middle name and took my last name, meaning her last name is now her middle name, but potato pot-a-to, same difference. She did so because of identification and guess what, she made the decision because it is her name. She said I don't want to hyphenate cause its ugly, but I do want to keep my last name as a part of my identification because its how I have been identified for all of my life up until this point, and I want people that knew me before to be able to recognize and find me.
And it has nothing to do with who "wears the pants", people that are married and have been for sometime realize that this shit is so small on the scale of life issues, problems, and joys that you will encounter as a couple. No one "wears the pants" so to speak in every single situation. The person that "wears the pants" in a given situation is the more rational solutions oriented person with either the resources, or the plan for using the joint resources to handle whatever issue is being encountered. Surprise Surprise, this WILL NOT be the man in every situation.
Lastly, this whole "western civilization is weak" is complete bullshit.
Basically, all of you need to step back and question why A NAME bothers you so much. Is it an attack on your own fragile ego, sense of sexuality or self?
I can tell you've never been married and if you do she will divorce you.
this coming from someone who created a post about male porn stars......
this coming from someone who created a post about male porn stars......
The post was about Slayer,and was business related...but you know that.So...whatever you wish to infer,cool....have a good life.
da don u hate fat bitches?
She HAS to take my name, no options allowed. Unless she has a marquee name that is a recognizable trademark, you get my name.
most professional women like doctors and lawyers keep their last names for professional purposes. So even if she is Mrs. _______ in her work environment she will still be Dr. (maiden name). So why make a big deal out of it. If you are marrying her for naming purposes your are not getting into the marriage for the right reasons from the start.
WOW!!! Now that is some ole exotic shit for that ass.This will probably be the most controversial thing I have said to date on BGOL, but fuck it I got thick skin.
If you want a woman that conventionally bows to you in every way, than get up off your ass and be the SOLE provider. No way that a two income household, where both of the adults are working equally hard can act like a house where only the man is bringing home the bacon and the woman is tending the house/raising the kids. That is not the reality for most people especially those of us that are black.
You have no right to demand that your woman be suzie homemaker if she's workin' just as hard as your ass and gettin' home like 30 minutes before, or even later than you, five to six days a week. Who the fuck are you? Place a lot of these women in situations where they don't have to work, and they will be glad to "submit" to you in some of the ways that you seem to require. Until you are in a position to do this, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All this shit about the only way she better keep her name is if she is making money off of it, please what about basic identity mufucka? She was a person before she met you, she is a person while she is with you, and she will be a person if she leaves your ass or you die first. You want to keep your name, why? Because of its identification. Should any fully autonomous person want anything less?
Also, to those of you that say my Dad wore the pants but my mom was still strong; Congratulations! You just described every complete black family. And guess what, your dad, like mine may have walked hard, carried a big belt, and gotten the last word, but you knew who was making some of the decisions. A lot of times, the woman was handling some things behind the scenes and or keeping things together, and allowing the man to have the last word in order to appease his fragile male ego. Not to mention the fact that our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts that had men "in charge" of the household, put up with shit that any self respecting husband WILL NOT put their wife through (i.e. women outside the home).
My wife didn't hyphenate her name. She dropped her middle name and took my last name, meaning her last name is now her middle name, but potato pot-a-to, same difference. She did so because of identification and guess what, she made the decision because it is her name. She said I don't want to hyphenate cause its ugly, but I do want to keep my last name as a part of my identification because its how I have been identified for all of my life up until this point, and I want people that knew me before to be able to recognize and find me.
And it has nothing to do with who "wears the pants", people that are married and have been for sometime realize that this shit is so small on the scale of life issues, problems, and joys that you will encounter as a couple. No one "wears the pants" so to speak in every single situation. The person that "wears the pants" in a given situation is the more rational solutions oriented person with either the resources, or the plan for using the joint resources to handle whatever issue is being encountered. Surprise Surprise, this WILL NOT be the man in every situation.
Lastly, this whole "western civilization is weak" is complete bullshit.
Basically, all of you need to step back and question why A NAME bothers you so much. Is it an attack on your own fragile ego, sense of sexuality or self?
hates a strong word........
let's just say they were never ever on my things to do list....
oh ok...so u dislike fat bitches.
DENZEL KNOWS BEST!!!!
why, you like them?
fuck no, i just noticed the picture in your sig and i was in tears.
Her mom has nothing to do with her...like she can't have her own thoughts.
And as far as quoting that verse of the Bible...the next line is a husband should love his wife. That means respecting her as a person. But men frequently forget that part.
Like you the only one bringin in dough? Yall must date some dependent ass women.
LOL co-sign.
As a woman on this board, no one has yet stated WHY the woman NEEDS to take her man's name. Personally, I just dont wanna change my name cuz I've had it my whole life. I don't wanna be known as something different. Marriage is about love and a union, and if a man won't marry me cuz I won't take his name, he really aint love me anyway. He thinks of me as a possession, trophy wife...fuck that!
That is why you are not ready to be married. A marriage is a union of man and women into one. It's no longer........just about you and your "independence". Once marriage kicks in you are no longer "indpenedent".
is it me, or them kids don't look nothing like chris?
example of a no-name-hyphenated-heffa thats been givin her husband problems since they got married.
she been hangin out with Oprah,
so that should tell u somethin.
www.rkellyisguilty.com
co-sign
marriage is not the end of independence. that's yall men's problem. and even if it did, what does changing a name have to do with it? men cant recognize we have a certain pride in our name too. i always ask men if it aint a big deal and we become a union, take my name. lol. of course yall not trying to hear that. i can give my life to a man, do everything for him and a damn name is what holds him back? weak ass man imo
like someone said, this would be casually discussed within six months of meeting a woman so i wouldn't have this problem. i size women up early on many criteria and put them into "potential" or "jump off" categories. that name shit gets a shorty relegated to trampoline status with the quickness.
i'd discuss that with her long before i'd ever think about proposing. That hyphen shit doesn't work with me.
co-sizzle!
I can tell your wife cheats on you.
example of a no-name-hyphenated-heffa thats been givin her husband problems since they got married.
she been hangin out with Oprah,
so that should tell u somethin.
www.rkellyisguilty.com
aint he been the one cheating? lol
lmao one of my professors has a hyphenated name too. hes a bitch
This will probably be the most controversial thing I have said to date on BGOL, but fuck it I got thick skin.
If you want a woman that conventionally bows to you in every way, than get up off your ass and be the SOLE provider. No way that a two income household, where both of the adults are working equally hard can act like a house where only the man is bringing home the bacon and the woman is tending the house/raising the kids. That is not the reality for most people especially those of us that are black.
You have no right to demand that your woman be suzie homemaker if she's workin' just as hard as your ass and gettin' home like 30 minutes before, or even later than you, five to six days a week. Who the fuck are you? Place a lot of these women in situations where they don't have to work, and they will be glad to "submit" to you in some of the ways that you seem to require. Until you are in a position to do this, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
All this shit about the only way she better keep her name is if she is making money off of it, please what about basic identity mufucka? She was a person before she met you, she is a person while she is with you, and she will be a person if she leaves your ass or you die first. You want to keep your name, why? Because of its identification. Should any fully autonomous person want anything less?
Also, to those of you that say my Dad wore the pants but my mom was still strong; Congratulations! You just described every complete black family. And guess what, your dad, like mine may have walked hard, carried a big belt, and gotten the last word, but you knew who was making some of the decisions. A lot of times, the woman was handling some things behind the scenes and or keeping things together, and allowing the man to have the last word in order to appease his fragile male ego. Not to mention the fact that our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts that had men "in charge" of the household, put up with shit that any self respecting husband WILL NOT put their wife through (i.e. women outside the home).
My wife didn't hyphenate her name. She dropped her middle name and took my last name, meaning her last name is now her middle name, but potato pot-a-to, same difference. She did so because of identification and guess what, she made the decision because it is her name. She said I don't want to hyphenate cause its ugly, but I do want to keep my last name as a part of my identification because its how I have been identified for all of my life up until this point, and I want people that knew me before to be able to recognize and find me.
And it has nothing to do with who "wears the pants", people that are married and have been for sometime realize that this shit is so small on the scale of life issues, problems, and joys that you will encounter as a couple. No one "wears the pants" so to speak in every single situation. The person that "wears the pants" in a given situation is the more rational solutions oriented person with either the resources, or the plan for using the joint resources to handle whatever issue is being encountered. Surprise Surprise, this WILL NOT be the man in every situation.
Lastly, this whole "western civilization is weak" is complete bullshit.
Basically, all of you need to step back and question why A NAME bothers you so much. Is it an attack on your own fragile ego, sense of sexuality or self?
you make a real good point... a lot of that probably stems from that "Leave it to Beaver" mentality... While I definately see the points you make I still question if maybe some things can be chalked up to tradition... It's tradition for a man to open a door for a woman...it's been tradition for a woman to take the name of the man she's going to marry...sure a man can make a point that a woman can open up a door for him the same way he can for her but then you're gonna have some perception of a man that goes against a tradition like that...every woman is entitled to keep her name...it's not against the law at all but there are some things that we do to make a woman feel like a woman and there are some things a woman does to make a man feel like a man...There are some woman that wouldn't care if a man doesn't open the door for her but there are alot of woman that would be appreciative that he did...same way a man who is devoting his life to this woman would be appreciative that she would carry on the tradition of passing on his name to her.
Now marriage is a womans wet dream..................................
She keeps her name, his money and their kids.
That is not true and it sounds ridiculous.
Marriage is not a business arrangement.
Marriage is a union and a testament to God or your Supreme Being. God made man first, then made the woman from man. So biologically the woman in the physical sense is already ours, because that is from where she came. The Man.
Too many of you stupid assholes did to marriage, the same you do to everything else. Made it tangible, you materialized it and placed monetary value over it. Marriage is a union of souls as God intended, ask yourself when you die and your wife dies and your children die. Who is going to answer for them. Your wife, because obviously its not you because she isnt even proud enough to solely embrace your name(your stature as a man). Let alone allow you to speak for her in the Face of God.
This is the issue, its too many punk ass men out there allowing themselves to sink to the emotional level of the woman. Where she reigns supreme. If you go to the Bible right now, the woman was made because Adam was lonely, loneliness is what sir, an emotion.
So God made a woman, so the man would not be inclined to bitch, moan, nag and complain going about things tangible like property. The man is the spiritual center of the family. He can't do this if he is thinking like a bitch. Took all of that and constructed a representative for his emotions, so he can always have his thoughts intact and focused.
Where is that now? Property my ass, that is a compromising thought that helps bring down the True stature of Man on this earth. And you sir represent a multitude of brothers with there superiority complex, falling for a mislead strong woman. Which seals your fate.