beat me to it
![]()
Dude was focused on tentacle sex with that
pineapple seasoned pussy and ass.
I don't blame him for being distracted



marlo was speaking with a African accent in season 1


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beat me to it
![]()
Dude was focused on tentacle sex with that
pineapple seasoned pussy and ass.
I don't blame him for being distracted
Naw, the mace hurt his eyes he washed it out in the sink.
This reviewer really nails it. (slight Colinization)
The Strain Is a Bad TV Show That Just Got Immeasurably Worse
Rob Bricken
Oh, The Strain. You did not just go there.
But you did! You took one of your two-dimensional female characters and subjected her to the infinitely tired, awful sexual assault storyline in a bid to give your show badly needed drama and some kind of personal stakes for its ancillary cast. I’d say shame on them, but The Strain has never had the awareness required to feel shame.
The main storyline is Dutch, who’s been captured by Eichorst, who is prepping her for a special meal for himself. As it turns out, Dutch reminds him of a girl he had a crush on back in ‘30s Germany, so it’s flashback time! Is Eichorst a sadsack loser with a crush on the hot blonde in the office? Yes! Is he last in the sales race that every sales company in the 1930s were apparently required to have? Check! Is the blonde Das Magic Pixie Dream Girl to his disaffected adulthood? YOU KNOW IT. Does the blonde turn him down and he join the Nazi party to bully those who have belittled him? Of course he does.
Even before the cliché-filled origin story, Eichorst gives off a real MRA/mansplaining vibe, especially when he starts uttering about Dutch being one of those girls who dresses to get attention. Coupled with the fact that Dutch is chained up in Eichorst’s “dining” room, forced to obey his whims (such as eating pineapple to “season” her) under threat of physical violence, the metaphor for sexual assault is obvious, if not quite overt.
And then it gets overt.
Yes, a vampire—with a mouth-tentacle—demands Dutch take off her pants. He sits down on the floor, then orders Dutch to bend over—because he’s going to perform oral sex/tentacle-rape this female character.
Yes, with no better story to tell—as has been evidenced all season—The Strain has decided to sexually assault one of its female characters to add a bit of “drama” to the proceedings. The fact that all of this flies in the face of the shoddy information the show has given us about the vampires—that they have no emotions, no feeling, are beyond humanity— is insult to injury. (As is the fact that Eichorst absolutely does not need to have his evilness established, being a Nazi vampire.)
The tragedy—well, one of the tragedies—is that when most shows and movies and so forth pull this, it’s recognized as the laziest of storytelling;. But The Strain’s storytelling is so weak, so slow, so pitiful, that this horrible, clichéd story is honestly the most dramatic the show has been all season. However, this does not excuse The Strain at all. Unless The Strain somehow manages to treat this with the magnitude, the respect, and the horror it deserves, this will merely be another show exploiting another poorly written female character for a cheap thrill. I believe the chances of The Strain pulling this off are slim at best, and more likely nonexistent.
Anyways, Dutch escapes at the last minute by spraying Eichorst in the face with mace—which is another thing the show’s mythology has never once intimated, given that vamps ignore all other wounds except head wounds—runs around the corner, and the show turns into a standard del Toro horror flick, with Dutch running around myriad halls, unable to escape, while Eichorst saunters after her like a Nazi Pepe le Pew. It takes forever for Eichorst to finally catch her and start dragging her back, at which point of course Eph, Nora and Fet, having heard her screams, burst through a brick wall, throws a silver grenade at Eichorst, rescues Dutch at the last second. Of course, Eichorst gets away again, meaning the show’s larger status quo remains unchanged.
At least Ruta Gedmintas plays Dutch as truly traumatized by what’s happened, and the other characters seem to acknowledge to true horror of what she’s been through. Again, I have my doubts that The Strain will be able to continue treating this with the gravity it deserves, and I worry things will be nauseatingly back to normal next episode.
I would love to be wrong. But then I would also love The Strain’s second season to be over.
Other storylines:
Setrakian was of course knocked on the head last episode by the grown-up Rudyard Fonescu, who eventually brings the Lumen to black marketer Alonso Creem, in another almost shockingly uninteresting delaying tactic to keep the maguffin out of Setrakian’s hands.
Gus and Angel get the Indian family out of New York City with help from Quinlan’s lackey. Then Gus and Angel get in a car with Quinlan’s lackey. This is the 11th episode; there are only two left. Only next week do either of these characters finally have the opportunity of doing something interesting in this goddamned show.
Assorted Musings:
• After the first episode of the season, Team Vampire Hunter needed to find the Lumen, Eldritch Palmer and the Master’s plan had not yet come to fruition. Gus was working with a group of vampire-hunting vampires. That’s about it.
• What the hell has changed? Eph and Nora have developed a vampire-killing virus but done nothing with it. Angel has been introduced and done nothing. Eldritch has fallen in love with Coco, which hasn’t affected his plan with the Master at all. There’s now a love triangle between Fet, Dutch and Nicki, and it’s boring as hell. The Master has a new body, and achieved nothing with it. Gus is working with a new vampire-hunting vampire, and they have achieved nothing.
• That’s how little has happened in 11 episodes, and in terms of the broader battle between humans and vampires, nothing has changed at all. AT ALL.
• Fuck this show.
Contact the author at rob@io9.com.
This reviewer really nails it. (slight Colinization)
The Strain Is a Bad TV Show That Just Got Immeasurably Worse
Rob Bricken
Oh, The Strain. You did not just go there.
But you did! You took one of your two-dimensional female characters and subjected her to the infinitely tired, awful sexual assault storyline in a bid to give your show badly needed drama and some kind of personal stakes for its ancillary cast. I’d say shame on them, but The Strain has never had the awareness required to feel shame.
The main storyline is Dutch, who’s been captured by Eichorst, who is prepping her for a special meal for himself. As it turns out, Dutch reminds him of a girl he had a crush on back in ‘30s Germany, so it’s flashback time! Is Eichorst a sadsack loser with a crush on the hot blonde in the office? Yes! Is he last in the sales race that every sales company in the 1930s were apparently required to have? Check! Is the blonde Das Magic Pixie Dream Girl to his disaffected adulthood? YOU KNOW IT. Does the blonde turn him down and he join the Nazi party to bully those who have belittled him? Of course he does.
Even before the cliché-filled origin story, Eichorst gives off a real MRA/mansplaining vibe, especially when he starts uttering about Dutch being one of those girls who dresses to get attention. Coupled with the fact that Dutch is chained up in Eichorst’s “dining” room, forced to obey his whims (such as eating pineapple to “season” her) under threat of physical violence, the metaphor for sexual assault is obvious, if not quite overt.
And then it gets overt.
Yes, a vampire—with a mouth-tentacle—demands Dutch take off her pants. He sits down on the floor, then orders Dutch to bend over—because he’s going to perform oral sex/tentacle-rape this female character.
Yes, with no better story to tell—as has been evidenced all season—The Strain has decided to sexually assault one of its female characters to add a bit of “drama” to the proceedings. The fact that all of this flies in the face of the shoddy information the show has given us about the vampires—that they have no emotions, no feeling, are beyond humanity— is insult to injury. (As is the fact that Eichorst absolutely does not need to have his evilness established, being a Nazi vampire.)
The tragedy—well, one of the tragedies—is that when most shows and movies and so forth pull this, it’s recognized as the laziest of storytelling;. But The Strain’s storytelling is so weak, so slow, so pitiful, that this horrible, clichéd story is honestly the most dramatic the show has been all season. However, this does not excuse The Strain at all. Unless The Strain somehow manages to treat this with the magnitude, the respect, and the horror it deserves, this will merely be another show exploiting another poorly written female character for a cheap thrill. I believe the chances of The Strain pulling this off are slim at best, and more likely nonexistent.
Anyways, Dutch escapes at the last minute by spraying Eichorst in the face with mace—which is another thing the show’s mythology has never once intimated, given that vamps ignore all other wounds except head wounds—runs around the corner, and the show turns into a standard del Toro horror flick, with Dutch running around myriad halls, unable to escape, while Eichorst saunters after her like a Nazi Pepe le Pew. It takes forever for Eichorst to finally catch her and start dragging her back, at which point of course Eph, Nora and Fet, having heard her screams, burst through a brick wall, throws a silver grenade at Eichorst, rescues Dutch at the last second. Of course, Eichorst gets away again, meaning the show’s larger status quo remains unchanged.
At least Ruta Gedmintas plays Dutch as truly traumatized by what’s happened, and the other characters seem to acknowledge to true horror of what she’s been through. Again, I have my doubts that The Strain will be able to continue treating this with the gravity it deserves, and I worry things will be nauseatingly back to normal next episode.
I would love to be wrong. But then I would also love The Strain’s second season to be over.
Other storylines:
Setrakian was of course knocked on the head last episode by the grown-up Rudyard Fonescu, who eventually brings the Lumen to black marketer Alonso Creem, in another almost shockingly uninteresting delaying tactic to keep the maguffin out of Setrakian’s hands.
Gus and Angel get the Indian family out of New York City with help from Quinlan’s lackey. Then Gus and Angel get in a car with Quinlan’s lackey. This is the 11th episode; there are only two left. Only next week do either of these characters finally have the opportunity of doing something interesting in this goddamned show.
Assorted Musings:
• After the first episode of the season, Team Vampire Hunter needed to find the Lumen, Eldritch Palmer and the Master’s plan had not yet come to fruition. Gus was working with a group of vampire-hunting vampires. That’s about it.
• What the hell has changed? Eph and Nora have developed a vampire-killing virus but done nothing with it. Angel has been introduced and done nothing. Eldritch has fallen in love with Coco, which hasn’t affected his plan with the Master at all. There’s now a love triangle between Fet, Dutch and Nicki, and it’s boring as hell. The Master has a new body, and achieved nothing with it. Gus is working with a new vampire-hunting vampire, and they have achieved nothing.
• That’s how little has happened in 11 episodes, and in terms of the broader battle between humans and vampires, nothing has changed at all. AT ALL.
• Fuck this show.
Contact the author at rob@io9.com.
The Strain Is a Bad TV Show That Just Got Immeasurably Worse
the shoddy information the show has given us about the vampires—that they have no emotions, no feeling, are beyond humanity— is insult to injury. (As is the fact that Eichorst absolutely does not need to have his evilness established, being a Nazi vampire.)
Of course, Eichorst gets away again, meaning the show’s larger status quo remains unchanged.
Setrakian was of course knocked on the head last episode by the grown-up Rudyard Fonescu, who eventually brings the Lumen to black marketer Alonso Creem, in another almost shockingly uninteresting delaying tactic to keep the maguffin out of Setrakian’s hands.
do either of these characters finally have the opportunity of doing something interesting in this goddamned show.
• What the hell has changed? Angel has been introduced and done nothing. Eldritch has fallen in love with Coco, which hasn’t affected his plan with the Master at all. The Master has a new body, and achieved nothing with it. Gus is working with a new vampire-hunting vampire, and they have achieved nothing.
• That’s how little has happened in 11 episodes, and in terms of the broader battle between humans and vampires, nothing has changed at all. AT ALL.
• Fuck this show.
This show is starting to get a little ridiculous now.![]()
Here you go the Colin friendly version.
While some of your were saying this show was better than the walking dead, I been called it "ridiculous".
patiently waiting for the gif of when he tells Dutch to bend over...
![]()
http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?p=15793192&posted=1
Or if the cop was from Staten Island he would have the mace with silver and stuff in it.
but really why WE giving this MUCH MORE thought then the writers themselves fam?
That is type of indepth intelligent character development analysis that will you get you banned from this thread my friend.I think the reviewer missed one of the central ideas of these creatures...being that they are compelled to seek out the ones they love most. With Eichorst...(however u spell that shit) the fact that Dutch reminds him of the girl he was in love with....it makes perfect sense that he would feel an urge to get at her. He is one of the few sentient vamp creatures and has had decades to master his more base instincts....but even he is compelled by that urge. I felt like that was the point of that whole story line. I could be wrong.
I think the reviewer missed one of the central ideas of these creatures...being that they are compelled to seek out the ones they love most. With Eichorst...(however u spell that shit) the fact that Dutch reminds him of the girl he was in love with....it makes perfect sense that he would feel an urge to get at her. He is one of the few sentient vamp creatures and has had decades to master his more base instincts....but even he is compelled by that urge. I felt like that was the point of that whole story line. I could be wrong.
Right or wrong, that's still an interesting take. I hadn't considered that the sentient vamps could still be swayed by their original compulsion to kill loved ones. I assumed that was only for the baser, unthinking vampires.
I think the reviewer missed one of the central ideas of these creatures...being that they are compelled to seek out the ones they love most. With Eichorst...(however u spell that shit) the fact that Dutch reminds him of the girl he was in love with....it makes perfect sense that he would feel an urge to get at her. He is one of the few sentient vamp creatures and has had decades to master his more base instincts....but even he is compelled by that urge. I felt like that was the point of that whole story line. I could be wrong.
But it wasnt though.
He didnt want to turn her, He wanted to punish her because he looked like a girl he hated/loved. His vermillion.
This was the best episode in a while, so with the read, I disagree with a lot of it, but I do concur on the "nothing happened all season" sentiment.
You got a link for this review? I need to forward it to someone.This reviewer really nails it. (slight Colinization)
The Strain Is a Bad TV Show That Just Got Immeasurably Worse
Rob Bricken
Oh, The Strain. You did not just go there.
But you did! You took one of your two-dimensional female characters and subjected her to the infinitely tired, awful sexual assault storyline in a bid to give your show badly needed drama and some kind of personal stakes for its ancillary cast. I’d say shame on them, but The Strain has never had the awareness required to feel shame.
The main storyline is Dutch, who’s been captured by Eichorst, who is prepping her for a special meal for himself. As it turns out, Dutch reminds him of a girl he had a crush on back in ‘30s Germany, so it’s flashback time! Is Eichorst a sadsack loser with a crush on the hot blonde in the office? Yes! Is he last in the sales race that every sales company in the 1930s were apparently required to have? Check! Is the blonde Das Magic Pixie Dream Girl to his disaffected adulthood? YOU KNOW IT. Does the blonde turn him down and he join the Nazi party to bully those who have belittled him? Of course he does.
Even before the cliché-filled origin story, Eichorst gives off a real MRA/mansplaining vibe, especially when he starts uttering about Dutch being one of those girls who dresses to get attention. Coupled with the fact that Dutch is chained up in Eichorst’s “dining” room, forced to obey his whims (such as eating pineapple to “season” her) under threat of physical violence, the metaphor for sexual assault is obvious, if not quite overt.
And then it gets overt.
Yes, a vampire—with a mouth-tentacle—demands Dutch take off her pants. He sits down on the floor, then orders Dutch to bend over—because he’s going to perform oral sex/tentacle-rape this female character.
Yes, with no better story to tell—as has been evidenced all season—The Strain has decided to sexually assault one of its female characters to add a bit of “drama” to the proceedings. The fact that all of this flies in the face of the shoddy information the show has given us about the vampires—that they have no emotions, no feeling, are beyond humanity— is insult to injury. (As is the fact that Eichorst absolutely does not need to have his evilness established, being a Nazi vampire.)
The tragedy—well, one of the tragedies—is that when most shows and movies and so forth pull this, it’s recognized as the laziest of storytelling;. But The Strain’s storytelling is so weak, so slow, so pitiful, that this horrible, clichéd story is honestly the most dramatic the show has been all season. However, this does not excuse The Strain at all. Unless The Strain somehow manages to treat this with the magnitude, the respect, and the horror it deserves, this will merely be another show exploiting another poorly written female character for a cheap thrill. I believe the chances of The Strain pulling this off are slim at best, and more likely nonexistent.
Anyways, Dutch escapes at the last minute by spraying Eichorst in the face with mace—which is another thing the show’s mythology has never once intimated, given that vamps ignore all other wounds except head wounds—runs around the corner, and the show turns into a standard del Toro horror flick, with Dutch running around myriad halls, unable to escape, while Eichorst saunters after her like a Nazi Pepe le Pew. It takes forever for Eichorst to finally catch her and start dragging her back, at which point of course Eph, Nora and Fet, having heard her screams, burst through a brick wall, throws a silver grenade at Eichorst, rescues Dutch at the last second. Of course, Eichorst gets away again, meaning the show’s larger status quo remains unchanged.
At least Ruta Gedmintas plays Dutch as truly traumatized by what’s happened, and the other characters seem to acknowledge to true horror of what she’s been through. Again, I have my doubts that The Strain will be able to continue treating this with the gravity it deserves, and I worry things will be nauseatingly back to normal next episode.
I would love to be wrong. But then I would also love The Strain’s second season to be over.
Other storylines:
Setrakian was of course knocked on the head last episode by the grown-up Rudyard Fonescu, who eventually brings the Lumen to black marketer Alonso Creem, in another almost shockingly uninteresting delaying tactic to keep the maguffin out of Setrakian’s hands.
Gus and Angel get the Indian family out of New York City with help from Quinlan’s lackey. Then Gus and Angel get in a car with Quinlan’s lackey. This is the 11th episode; there are only two left. Only next week do either of these characters finally have the opportunity of doing something interesting in this goddamned show.
Assorted Musings:
• After the first episode of the season, Team Vampire Hunter needed to find the Lumen, Eldritch Palmer and the Master’s plan had not yet come to fruition. Gus was working with a group of vampire-hunting vampires. That’s about it.
• What the hell has changed? Eph and Nora have developed a vampire-killing virus but done nothing with it. Angel has been introduced and done nothing. Eldritch has fallen in love with Coco, which hasn’t affected his plan with the Master at all. There’s now a love triangle between Fet, Dutch and Nicki, and it’s boring as hell. The Master has a new body, and achieved nothing with it. Gus is working with a new vampire-hunting vampire, and they have achieved nothing.
• That’s how little has happened in 11 episodes, and in terms of the broader battle between humans and vampires, nothing has changed at all. AT ALL.
• Fuck this show.
Contact the author at rob@io9.com.
You got a link for this review? I need to forward it to someone.
Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk
They ain't have to do the CO like that. Fucking savages?
Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk
the co would take prisoners off the camera and beat for wreck. he was fucked up. but got bodied in a horrible way. get shot then chop up by a machete.
I like how Angel peeped that fucker from jump. THe way he looked at dude I KNEW he was gonna fuck dude up. You could see that shit comin a mile away. You just gon let a bunch of mufuckas out and give em weapons and tell em we gotta fight for so and so. I thought the hunter was gonna pop out the shadows to keep them in check or somethin but Angel was onto that dude.Yeah he did that shit but how else are you supposed to control people like that? You saw what happened when dude showed them kindness and gave them freedom. Motherfuckers had no qualms about murdering him.
Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk
Did I miss somethin or is Coco down wit the whole program now?