Children,
I abandoned this board during the holy season due to Pharaoh (your "HNIC") and his stubborn refusal to automatically convert the board's theme to the delightful green and red background with a special holiday season banner as had been the custom in years past.
Disappointment in the membership for failing to tithe a single dollar to the Lord's GoFundMe page despite My eleven months of solicitations also contributed to My decision to leave My chosen board.
The holy week of Passover is now upon us, however, and your Lord is resurrected. Woe unto you, BGOL-- what a sad and disgraceful place this board has become since the days when I watched over you!
In My absence, the board has been taken over by a false and pitiful god. Three months ago, there was no talk of Zod worship. Yet, since I left, I count a full 21 threads devoted to the god of Sodomy! "She is Ready to Worship at the Altar Of Zod," boasts one. "My tithe to zod lol," says another fiend who made no tithe to the God of creation. "The Teachings Of The Merciful Zod," "ZOD would be pleased," "Pray that Zod approves." The blasphemy goes on and on.
Only one thread has been started in opposition to this foul trend. It was none other than Leroy Soup Nutz who had the courage to lay down his rancid fleshlight and fire off a missive in opposition-- "Zod forgive me for what I'm bout to say but can yall stop posting gaping assholes...?"
I once said I would strike down the Purple Smurf after his 100,000th post, on the grounds that he had endured his worthless, miserable existence long enough. Yet I knew that even one so low as he may find a purpose. BGOL, you must heed the call of the prophetic Purple Smurf and reject the so-called god of anal apostasy.
This practice is wrong for many reasons. It is disgusting and unclean. It is forbidden and counterproductive, for I intended that hole to be for exit only. Most importantly, it is disrespectful. I am a jealous God and I tell you, BGOL, no more with this Zod.
Merry Passover!
I abandoned this board during the holy season due to Pharaoh (your "HNIC") and his stubborn refusal to automatically convert the board's theme to the delightful green and red background with a special holiday season banner as had been the custom in years past.
Disappointment in the membership for failing to tithe a single dollar to the Lord's GoFundMe page despite My eleven months of solicitations also contributed to My decision to leave My chosen board.
The holy week of Passover is now upon us, however, and your Lord is resurrected. Woe unto you, BGOL-- what a sad and disgraceful place this board has become since the days when I watched over you!
In My absence, the board has been taken over by a false and pitiful god. Three months ago, there was no talk of Zod worship. Yet, since I left, I count a full 21 threads devoted to the god of Sodomy! "She is Ready to Worship at the Altar Of Zod," boasts one. "My tithe to zod lol," says another fiend who made no tithe to the God of creation. "The Teachings Of The Merciful Zod," "ZOD would be pleased," "Pray that Zod approves." The blasphemy goes on and on.
Only one thread has been started in opposition to this foul trend. It was none other than Leroy Soup Nutz who had the courage to lay down his rancid fleshlight and fire off a missive in opposition-- "Zod forgive me for what I'm bout to say but can yall stop posting gaping assholes...?"
I once said I would strike down the Purple Smurf after his 100,000th post, on the grounds that he had endured his worthless, miserable existence long enough. Yet I knew that even one so low as he may find a purpose. BGOL, you must heed the call of the prophetic Purple Smurf and reject the so-called god of anal apostasy.
This practice is wrong for many reasons. It is disgusting and unclean. It is forbidden and counterproductive, for I intended that hole to be for exit only. Most importantly, it is disrespectful. I am a jealous God and I tell you, BGOL, no more with this Zod.
Merry Passover!
