^^^
Man...I gotta watch that movie...
Man...I gotta watch that movie...
The Girly Thread. No menfolx allowed. :)
- Thread starter Camille
- Start date
^^^
Awwww!
Awwww!
Free Udemy Course. Save $65.00
Designing the Perfect Brow
Become a brow master and have the confidence to design and service all types of shapes, colors and scenarios!
https://www.udemy.com/designing-the-perfect-brow/?couponCode=REDDIT100
Designing the Perfect Brow
Become a brow master and have the confidence to design and service all types of shapes, colors and scenarios!
https://www.udemy.com/designing-the-perfect-brow/?couponCode=REDDIT100
Nice read for Mother's Day weekend...
http://www.theroot.com/articles/cul...es_of_struggle_sacrifice_love_and_wisdom.html
http://www.theroot.com/articles/cul...es_of_struggle_sacrifice_love_and_wisdom.html
What's the business
I came across this today. Made me think of how all the times black women are accused of being "masculine". I know to some degree that in rougher areas, we don't have the freedom and protection of males or community to be feminine as other cultures do, so girls will wear baggy clothes, put on a hard face/attitude and stuff so as not to be accosted...but I only ever thought of it in the vein of personal protection. I'd never thought of anyone doing it from the stand point of seeing women as weak/inferior across the board. It was an interesting perspective to read. My personal experience was different because I've always LOVED being a girl...makeup...nails etc, but I didn't/don't always FEEL feminine ENOUGH. I don't glam it up on a regular basis anymore...might be time to start again. 
-------
Conquering The Fear of Being A Girl
http://feministajones.com/blog/conquering-the-fear-of-being-a-girl/
“You fight like a girl!”
“You throw like a girl!”
“You run like a girl!”
Like many of you, I grew up hearing these “insults” being hurled towards boys who were deemed to be acting in ways that were inferior to what was expected of them as boys. Being compared to a girl was one of the worst insults a young man could endure, next to being called “gay”. Since “gay” was often used interchangeably with the idea of “girlness”, the two insults were closely connected. Growing up, I made little noise about these ideas that doing anything like a girl was insulting because I was too busy avoiding being a girl.
I internalized this idea that being a girl was a weakness. As I experienced different things in my life that tested my personal strength and somehow, I came to believe that the best coping mechanism was to avoid being a girl, that is, avoid being the socially designated manifestations of girlishness. I rejected silly fashion obsessions, refused to sneak and wear make up like my adolescent peers, didn’t give a damn about my hair or nails, thought obsessing over shoes was stupid, hated wearing skirts, refused to giggle about boys, and basically did everything I could to not be associated with femininity. When my body betrayed me, curves developing way before they should have, I was reminded, often in the most degrading of ways as a tender pre-teen, that I was, in fact, a girl. A young woman. No matter what I would do, I would always be seen as a female and it bothered me.
I never wanted to be seen as weak. I never wanted to have assumptions made about me that would lead to people doubting my intelligence and capabilities. I began to see more and more examples of how girls and women were treated as inferior, rejected, abused, denied, dismissed, and devalued. I wanted no parts of that. I couldn’t have any part of that if I hoped to survive in this world, or at least that’s what I told myself. If I was to be a girl, I wanted to be the girl that people wanted to be compared to. When someone said “You throw like a girl!!”, I’d want it to be said with a smile if people were ideally thinking about me when they said it, if that makes sense.
Then I discovered feminism and while I should have taken solace in such an empowering concept, I initially rejected it, feeling completely out of place and disconnected. I was a Black teenager with a womanly body, strong cultural affinity, a liberal queer mind (whatever that meant then or means now), and a growing love for men. The feminism I was exposed to early on didn’t seem to embrace those specific parts of me. Luckily, I was raised to be a critical thinker and carve my own path, so I began to do exactly that, absorbing and embracing the parts that made sense and developing my own standards and platform points that worked for me. I’d begun to study wonderful women and meet strong, beautiful, “girly” women I would go on to admire greatly. I began to feel stronger and thus better about being a “girl”.
It was in college that I allowed myself to embrace femininity. Femininity, then, became something I’d define personally and I encourage other women to do the same. I decided that my girlishness would develop organically, without my rejection of it, and it would be defined by my personal experiences, likes, thoughts, and desires. Now, in my early 30s, I’m still working on developing my personal feminine identity, but I no longer fear being seen as a “girl”.
Being a girl isn’t a bad thing. It’s a beautiful acceptance of who I am. I believe I was made on purpose, not by mistake. I love every bit of the woman I have become and I am excited about the possibilities of the woman I will grow to be. My contributions to the world and societies in which I reside are and will continue to be accepted as valuable not in spite of my being a woman, but because I am the woman I’ve decided to be. There is absolutely no weakness in being a “girl”, I know that now.
I just need society to get on board and get like me.
XOXO,
FJ
-------
-------
Conquering The Fear of Being A Girl
http://feministajones.com/blog/conquering-the-fear-of-being-a-girl/
“You fight like a girl!”
“You throw like a girl!”
“You run like a girl!”
Like many of you, I grew up hearing these “insults” being hurled towards boys who were deemed to be acting in ways that were inferior to what was expected of them as boys. Being compared to a girl was one of the worst insults a young man could endure, next to being called “gay”. Since “gay” was often used interchangeably with the idea of “girlness”, the two insults were closely connected. Growing up, I made little noise about these ideas that doing anything like a girl was insulting because I was too busy avoiding being a girl.
I internalized this idea that being a girl was a weakness. As I experienced different things in my life that tested my personal strength and somehow, I came to believe that the best coping mechanism was to avoid being a girl, that is, avoid being the socially designated manifestations of girlishness. I rejected silly fashion obsessions, refused to sneak and wear make up like my adolescent peers, didn’t give a damn about my hair or nails, thought obsessing over shoes was stupid, hated wearing skirts, refused to giggle about boys, and basically did everything I could to not be associated with femininity. When my body betrayed me, curves developing way before they should have, I was reminded, often in the most degrading of ways as a tender pre-teen, that I was, in fact, a girl. A young woman. No matter what I would do, I would always be seen as a female and it bothered me.
I never wanted to be seen as weak. I never wanted to have assumptions made about me that would lead to people doubting my intelligence and capabilities. I began to see more and more examples of how girls and women were treated as inferior, rejected, abused, denied, dismissed, and devalued. I wanted no parts of that. I couldn’t have any part of that if I hoped to survive in this world, or at least that’s what I told myself. If I was to be a girl, I wanted to be the girl that people wanted to be compared to. When someone said “You throw like a girl!!”, I’d want it to be said with a smile if people were ideally thinking about me when they said it, if that makes sense.
Then I discovered feminism and while I should have taken solace in such an empowering concept, I initially rejected it, feeling completely out of place and disconnected. I was a Black teenager with a womanly body, strong cultural affinity, a liberal queer mind (whatever that meant then or means now), and a growing love for men. The feminism I was exposed to early on didn’t seem to embrace those specific parts of me. Luckily, I was raised to be a critical thinker and carve my own path, so I began to do exactly that, absorbing and embracing the parts that made sense and developing my own standards and platform points that worked for me. I’d begun to study wonderful women and meet strong, beautiful, “girly” women I would go on to admire greatly. I began to feel stronger and thus better about being a “girl”.
It was in college that I allowed myself to embrace femininity. Femininity, then, became something I’d define personally and I encourage other women to do the same. I decided that my girlishness would develop organically, without my rejection of it, and it would be defined by my personal experiences, likes, thoughts, and desires. Now, in my early 30s, I’m still working on developing my personal feminine identity, but I no longer fear being seen as a “girl”.
Being a girl isn’t a bad thing. It’s a beautiful acceptance of who I am. I believe I was made on purpose, not by mistake. I love every bit of the woman I have become and I am excited about the possibilities of the woman I will grow to be. My contributions to the world and societies in which I reside are and will continue to be accepted as valuable not in spite of my being a woman, but because I am the woman I’ve decided to be. There is absolutely no weakness in being a “girl”, I know that now.
I just need society to get on board and get like me.
XOXO,
FJ
-------
Nice. I saw this when you first posted it and kept forgetting to come back and add it to the links on the first page. I came across some other sites as well. When I find them I'll update it.
Seen today in one of the facebook natural hair groups:
I was in court today (I'm an attorney) and ALL of the black female attorneys had natural hair (there were about 5 of us), including the judge! Safe to say that natural hair is now considered a professional look. I'm proud to be a part of the "movement!"
