Re: The Black Man Shaking Up Epidemic
I can't live with a woman I'm not married to anymore. When I was in my own place, I was with my ex, moved her here from another state, paid all the bills, the rent, leisure - the whole nine. Learned a valuable lesson: when the split happens, you lose everything that was once community property. Aside from the emotional wrenching, basically a man has NO benefit to following traditional 'man roles' in 'shacking up' with a woman. Unless a man's a pimp, overbearing, or just plain asshole, the woman gets far too many benefits and can just bail from boredom.
Looking at modern roles, times are difficult. Black women are in better financial situations than men in their same age group. Women have stable jobs with room for advancement. Men, at least from my vantage point, seem to struggle financially - even through their late 20s and early 30s. Whether that's an excuse or symptomatic of a societal problem is another thread. The bigger issue is what are these men doing when they move in with their woman? Are they paying half of the bills and rent? Are they shacking up and living off the woman? Are their long term plans to get a mutually chosen place?
From what I've seen (recalling the experiences of several female friends), when women own the place and the man moves in, mentally, the woman's attitude seems to be 'Letting the man stay in HER house', as opposed to when reversed, the man's attitude of, "This is OUR house". Women tend to - almost whimsically - alternate between wanting to kick her man out (despite the strength of their relationship) when she's had a bad day or is tired of seeing him, to keeping him around because he's nice to have around and knows how to stroke.
On a primal level, women probably aren't meant to provide and struggle with this new gender role. This is likely why this thread exists...
stop it
