Should I Buy/Move Into A House With My Girl? (w/ Mortgage In Her Name)

[spos2]

What's good BGOL family, hope everybody's staying safe in these crazy ass times.

So I have a situation I'm about to embark on with my girlfriend. We've been together for 6 years, I plan on popping the question in the next 6-9 months. The past month we've been looking at buying a house. She's spearheaded hte process, getting loan approval, getting a realtor, researching spots, etc. I'm here as the level-headed mind and provide my input and that type of thing.

Thing is she makes great money and will probably always outearn me and is handling the majority of the process in her name. Obviously, I know this is questionable given we could break up and all the other associated risks. Of course there is the possibility of me adding my name later on, but that might not be for another year possibly.


I do understand the risks, shit we've even talked about living off one salary (probably mine) and investing/saving with the other. I know this isn't an ideal situation, but I figured I'd get some insight from unbiased parties and maybe a person or two who've had arrangements similar to this.

TLDR: I'm thinking about getting my house with my girl, but my girl's name will be on the mortgage. Should I proceed with this?

 

[yureeka9]

First, how old are you?

 

[p5ych3]

Both of you can be on the title even if she is the one getting the mortgage.

U can break up before marriage or after. It's who will be on the hook for payments after.

 

[TimRock]

why won't your name be on it? Are you contributing to the down payment and helping with the bills?

 

[tallblacknyc]

Have ya lived with each other prior to this?

 

[BATMAN]

I would say no. Granted you could leave anytime you wanted, but she could also pull the, "This my house card." Me and my now ex-wife attempted to do something similar. She was the headstrong one (looking at places, suggesting using one income and saving the other...). You've been with her for 6 plus years so you and her may have that unique bond that is uncommon in some situations. I'd still suggest having your name put on the mortgage just in case she pull some shit.

 

[AtomAnt]

Have your name on the mortgage as well

 

[RoomService]

Have your name on the mortgage as well

Don't you mean title - deed? Why put his name on the debt.

 

[Walter Panov]

Yes

 

[55th View]

Man, just buy an 82 inch and treat that crib like it yours! You can help out if you want to, but after mounting an 82 inch Vizio, my work would be done. Maybe get a job or sumn, but with an 82 inch mounted, working is going to be a bit much in my opinion.

And God forbid if you add surround sound...bring nothing more to the table til 2025.

 

[APOPHIS]

Don't you mean title - deed? Why put his name on the debt.

Brilliantly and conniving.

 

[badboyyawdie]

No!

 

[Entrepronegro]

I would say no. Granted you could leave anytime you wanted, but she could also pull the, "This my house card." Me and my now ex-wife attempted to do something similar. She was the headstrong one (looking at places, suggesting using one income and saving the other...). You've been with her for 6 plus years so you and her may have that unique bond that is uncommon in some situations. I'd still suggest having your name put on the mortgage just in case she pull some shit.

my thoughts exactly

 

[spos2]

First, how old are you?

30

why won't your name be on it? Are you contributing to the down payment and helping with the bills?

Down payment and the initial costs are what she'll be handling. I'll be contributing to bills, upgrades/repairs, household expenses etc.

Have ya lived with each other prior to this?

Yeah for about 6 months in 2018-19. We've been on/off long distance for 3.5 out of the six years we've been together because of my career

I would say no. Granted you could leave anytime you wanted, but she could also pull the, "This my house card." Me and my now ex-wife attempted to do something similar. She was the headstrong one (looking at places, suggesting using one income and saving the other...). You've been with her for 6 plus years so you and her may have that unique bond that is uncommon in some situations. I'd still suggest having your name put on the mortgage just in case she pull some shit.

I'd like to think we have a unique bond. If it ever came to "this my house" we'd be respectful and make arrangements in a civil way.

Man, just buy an 82 inch and treat that crib like it yours! You can help out if you want to, but after mounting an 82 inch Vizio, my work would be done. Maybe get a job or sumn, but with an 82 inch mounted, working is going to be a bit much in my opinion.

And God forbid if you add surround sound...bring nothing more to the table til 2025.

lmaooooo

 

[Tha Baldavenger]

Only buy a house with your girl once you are married first.

 

[Strait_Laced]

30

I'd like to think we have a unique bond. If it ever came to "this my house" we'd be respectful and make arrangements in a civil way.

stop right there.

 

[Goingmark40]

yall been together for a minute so you know your girl. yall working as a unit , a team so her name on the mortgage just is what it is. still yall house homie. chances are yall might get to fussing and you and all of us know what she gonna say. when me and my wife started going together i moved into her house ...i heard the this my house a few times. some reason it didn't phase me. i knew what kind of man i was and what i brought to the table and household and so did she. women can be irrational and say stupid shit and hurtful shit but they ain't stupid.

 

[Texas Catdaddy]

Both of you can be on the title even if she is the one getting the mortgage.

U can break up before marriage or after. It's who will be on the hook for payments after.

boom .....

 

[Bounty Killah]

Man, ain't no biggie. Firstly, you can set up the deed in common (percentage ownership). You can also set up the deed as joint tenants. However, joint tenants is a tricky one cause the property is owned jointly and each person has the right to 100 percent ownership.

Once you get married you could convert to in the entirety, which only married couples are entitled to. This is one where men get fucked out of their homes. Mind you not all states recognize this type of property right. So you might want to check what your state may say.

 

[TENT]

Sounds like OP doesn't know this woman at all. 6 years together but you been on and off? Then you aint 6 years together. Long distance?

Naw bro you don't know her.

This is a big problem waiting to happen.
Marry her or breakup with her.
Dont buy no damn house with someone you aren't married to.

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

looks like something posted on reddit, then copied and pasted

here..

just sayin....

 

[RoomService]

30


I'd like to think we have a unique bond. If it ever came to "this my house" we'd be respectful and make arrangements in a civil way.

If it’s not in writing, it means nothing!

“Don’t ever make a business decision based on emotion.”
Tommy Jakes

 

[jack walsh13]

Have your name on the mortgage as well

Exactly. Don't put the house in her name exclusively. I would never accept that

 

[jack walsh13]

Sounds like OP doesn't know this woman at all. 6 years together but you been on and off? Then you aint 6 years together. Long distance?

Naw bro you don't know her.

This is a big problem waiting to happen.
Marry her or breakup with her.
Dont buy no damn house with someone you aren't married to.

Agreed

 

[Lexx Diamond]

No.

 

[jack walsh13]

Yeah for about 6 months in 2018-19. We've been on/off long distance for 3.5 out of the six years

I'd like to think we have a unique bond. If it ever came to "this my house" we'd be respectful and make arrangements in a civil way.

 

[SPECTRE1]

Once established, a common law marriage is just as valid and binding as a formalized marriage. It lasts until a court grants a divorce or one partner dies. If your partner (and presumptive spouse) dies before you've legally established your common law marriage, you'll have to prove your marriage to be able to inherit and receive insurance benefits, Social Security Survivor's Benefits or pension benefits.

How to Tell If a Common Law Marriage Exists

Generally speaking, the strongest evidence that both partners intended to be married would be a written agreement between them to that effect. Ultimately, however, you only know for sure that a common law marriage exists when a judge says so.

Here are some factors that a court would look at to determine if you are or were in a common marriage:

• Did you two live together?
• Did one partner use the other partner's last name?
• Did you sign contracts together to buy a home? A car?
• Did you file joint tax returns?
• Did you have joint bank accounts?
• Did you each refer to each other as spouses?
• Did you share household duties and expenses?
• Did you have and raise children together?

You get into an argument, she can show the cops that you have no rights to be in her house. She is going to flex on you one day and turn you into a women. You need to prepare for that big argument that is coming, have your paperwork all setup.

Maybe you should buy a cheaper joint house that you can afford. You need to effeminize her physically and mentally if you want your relationship to last. If she raises up on you, she can be out on the streets, instead it will be the other way around. It can turn you gay being in a relationship like that.

 

[Mo-Better]

Only because you claim marriage is in the future I would say, take the chance. If that's not the case, you're both entering the prenup phase of your relationship. Choose wisely.

 

[BATMAN]

At the end of the day, you're a grown individual and we can only give advice. But listen to us fam. We have all had some experience with this. Couple of things I've learned: everything looks good with rose colored glasses on (not saying you shouldn't get married, but make sure it is right for you and you thinking with the right head).
Make sure you got something in your name there (mortgage, bill, something) so she can't put you out. If she really feeling you, she won't mind putting your name on it. Especially if you bout to put a ring on it.
One thing a cousin said to me was, "That woman that was all sweet and innocent when you met and married her, will morph into a different beast when shit hit the fan."

Best of Luck to you Fam!

 

[SPECTRE1]

There are many women that are genetically/naturally effeminate and you could do something like move in and not have problems. This helps create a stable relationship and less conflict which transfer benefits to the offspring. However, there is some that will need gentle coaxing, and you will need all the tools available (sex, money, housing) to do it.

There are some that are hopeless and it like being with another nigga, you are going to have to fight them. The police will come over think you are hitting up a women, but she is man upstairs. You were domestic violence another man, not a women.

 

[RoomService]

Please stop telling him to put the mortgage in his name...

Mortgage definition: a legal agreement by which a bank or other creditor lends money at interest in exchange for taking title of the debtor's property, with the condition that the conveyance of title becomes void upon the payment of the debt.

Deed definition: a legal document that is signed and delivered, especially one regarding the ownership of property or legal rights.

Title definition: something that justifies or substantiates a claim

 

[spos2]

stop right there.

lol

I knew "I would like to think" was gonna get yall on my case, but nah I KNOW we do. She's held a nigga down and been real from Day 1.

yall been together for a minute so you know your girl. yall working as a unit , a team so her name on the mortgage just is what it is. still yall house homie. chances are yall might get to fussing and you and all of us know what she gonna say. when me and my wife started going together i moved into her house ...i heard the this my house a few times. some reason it didn't phase me. i knew what kind of man i was and what i brought to the table and household and so did she. women can be irrational and say stupid shit and hurtful shit but they ain't stupid.

I'm prepared for what arguments like that could bring, but like you mentioned we understand each other's value.

Man, ain't no biggie. Firstly, you can set up the deed in common (percentage ownership). You can also set up the deed as joint tenants. However, joint tenants is a tricky cause the property is owned jointly and each person has the right to 100 percent ownership.

Once you get married you could convert to in the entirety, which only married couples are entitled to. This is one where men get fucked out of their homes. Mind you not all states recognize this type of property right. So you might want to check what your state may say.

Thanks I'll research that today. I'm gonna have a convo with her and bring up my concerns and talk through all of this

Sounds like OP doesn't know this woman at all. 6 years together but you been on and off? Then you aint 6 years together. Long distance?

Naw bro you don't know her.

This is a big problem waiting to happen.
Marry her or breakup with her.
Dont buy no damn house with someone you aren't married to.

I KNOW her bruh lol

We been together for all 6 years, I was referring to our living arrangements. We were living in the same city (separate cribs) from 2014-16, I moved away for work from Aug 2016-18, we stayed together for 6 months 2018-19 and I moved again Feb 2019-present. When I was out of state we always made it a priority to travel to see each other or take trips. Now we're looking to be in the same city.

looks like something posted on reddit, then copied and pasted

here..

just sayin....

LMAO, i was about to search reddit before I created the thread. But I like reading the insight from yall on various subjects

At the end of the day, you're a grown individual and we can only give advice. But listen to us fam. We have all had some experience with this. Couple of things I've learned: everything looks good with rose colored glasses on (not saying you shouldn't get married, but make sure it is right for you and you thinking with the right head).
Make sure you got something in your name there (mortgage, bill, something) so she can't put you out. If she really feeling you, she won't mind putting your name on it. Especially if you bout to put a ring on it.
One thing a cousin said to me was, "That woman that was all sweet and innocent when you met and married her, will morph into a different beast when shit hit the fan."

Best of Luck to you Fam!

Preciate it brother. I understand it's not an ideal arrangement but I'm appreciative of all the advice from everybody. My name will definitely be on the utilities and other bills

Please stop telling him to put the mortgage in his name...

Mortgage definition: a legal agreement by which a bank or other creditor lends money at interest in exchange for taking title of the debtor's property, with the condition that the conveyance of title becomes void upon the payment of the debt.

Deed definition: a legal document that is signed and delivered, especially one regarding the ownership of property or legal rights.

Title definition: something that justifies or substantiates a claim

Good look on this. I'm probably using the incorrect terminology, so I might be in a better situation than I thought I was

 

[TENT]

When y'all were out of state were you fucking other chicks?
Well she was fucking other niggas. Those dudes are in her phone under some girls names.

Those dudes are gonna have her kick you outta that house when you start acting up.

lol

I knew "I would like to think" was gonna get yall on my case, but nah I KNOW we do. She's held a nigga down and been real from Day 1.



I'm prepared for what arguments like that could bring, but like you mentioned we understand each other's value.



Thanks I'll research that today. I'm gonna have a convo with her and bring up my concerns and talk through all of this



I KNOW her bruh lol

We been together for all 6 years, I was referring to our living arrangements. We were living in the same city (separate cribs) from 2014-16, I moved away for work from Aug 2016-18, we stayed together for 6 months 2018-19 and I moved again Feb 2019-present. When I was out of state we always made it a priority to travel to see each other or take trips. Now we're looking to be in the same city.



LMAO, i was about to search reddit before I created the thread. But I like reading the insight from yall on various subjects



Preciate it brother. I understand it's not an ideal arrangement but I'm appreciative of all the advice from everybody. My name will definitely be on the utilities and other bills



Good look on this. I'm probably using the incorrect terminology, so I might be in a better situation than I thought I was

 

[Varis]

Nope

 

[modified]

The majority of the time the risks outweigh any benefits. But if y’all two are committed to making AND maintaining a strong family unit then proceed with caution. Don’t be complacent and always look to improve your pockets and focus on your purpose.