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Relationships with people who have addictions or serious substance issues

Rembrandt Brown said:
I'd be interested in more details here. I take it the relationship didn't last from the "hell no" but were you okay with her being a crackhead or do you expect her to change?
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Both relationships are long over. The alcoholic eventually stopped and is now a very religious woman. I'm agnostic so the relationship definitely wouldn't have lasted. Still friends though. The relationship was during the 80's. She was a good woman though. Loving. Great cook and loyal. Good in bed too. Was very close to making her my main girl (was seeing another girl at the same time). The drinking bothered me too much. The crackhead (1989) was too far gone to be helped and I didn't have the will or patience to deal with her. She was also bi-polar. She'd be good for a week or 2 then disappear for a week. She stole from me. She had people in my house while I was at work. Divorced her and sent her on her way. Have no idea where she is now.
 
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Yes with a pill addiction. Tried for months to help her through it all but could only do so much when she didn't see the problem in her behavior. Shit sucks because I liked her a lot but I could no longer risk my future or my children's future on someone who wouldn't even help themselves.
 
DWBass said:
Both relationships are long over. The alcoholic eventually stopped and is now a very religious woman. I'm agnostic so the relationship definitely wouldn't have lasted. Still friends though. The relationship was during the 80's. The crackhead (1989) was too far gone to be helped and I didn't have the will or patience to deal with her. She was also bi-polar. She'd be good for a week or 2 then disappear for a week. She stole from me. She had people in my house while I was at work. Divorced her and sent her on her way. Have no idea where she is now.
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Was she that way when you married her? I don't understand how you say "I didn't have the will or patience to deal with her" but you became husband and wife.
 
Rembrandt Brown said:
Was she that way when you married her? I don't understand how you say "I didn't have the will or patience to deal with her" but you became husband and wife.
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She hid it from me. I had no idea. Shit started happening after we said 'I Do'!! TBH, I was advised not to marry her by a handful of folks including her Mom. She kept asking me 'was I sure'. I totally ignored the warnings. Should have listened.
 
DWBass said:
She hid it from me. I had no idea. Shit started happening after we said 'I Do'!! TBH, I was advised not to marry her by a handful of folks including her Mom. She kept asking me 'was I sure'. I totally ignored the warnings. Should have listened.
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Man... how long did you know her before getting married?
 
DWBass said:
She hid it from me. I had no idea. Shit started happening after we said 'I Do'!! TBH, I was advised not to marry her by a handful of folks including her Mom. She kept asking me 'was I sure'. I totally ignored the warnings. Should have listened.
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Dayum bruh! HER mother warned you?!

Had a chick that I suspected of something, but was by far the best sex and was the smartest chick I ever met. She ended up dumping me cause cause I didn't do a good job hiding being turned off by her weight. Fast forward 20 yrs, she lost a little weight, but is in her 2nd unhappy marriage, childless, and has 3 dui's. Last I spoke to her, she was checking herself in rehab.

Still got feelings for her but I dodged a bullet!
 
chitownsfinest said:
Dayum bruh! HER mother warned you?!

Had a chick that I suspected of something, but was by far the best sex and was the smartest chick I ever met. She ended up dumping me cause cause I didn't do a good job hiding being turned off by her weight. Fast forward 20 yrs, she lost a little weight, but is in her 2nd unhappy marriage, childless, and has 3 dui's. Last I spoke to her, she was checking herself in rehab.

Still got feelings for her but I dodged a bullet!
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Sad thing is, the chick was extremely intelligent. Fine as hell. Great in bed. She was just hooked! Puertorican chick from Spanish Harlem (112th st.). I still wonder what ever happened to her.
 
Rembrandt Brown said:
I threw away tens of thousands on someone who I believed wanted help. I'd love to see a success story.
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Only way to know if they wanna stop is if they get mad when you put them around it. Other than that they lying. For some reason that shit makes the believe they got game v
 
DWBass said:
Sad thing is, the chick was extremely intelligent. Fine as hell. Great in bed. She was just hooked! Puertorican chick from Spanish Harlem (112th st.). I still wonder what ever happened to her.
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Thats a sad deal, bruh!! That ish can happen to all of us!! I had a lady that was hooked on those damn pain pills!! That was very painfull to view everyday!!
 
TooTrilla said:
Alcohol aint ok. I know several alcoholics that would rather drink than eat. And they wont stop drinking until they're dead. Some people you just can't help.
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Facts. I was in a band with a cat who drank constantly. Was always drunk. Kept going to the bathroom every 15 minutes either to pee or drink. Made a damn fool of himself the last gig he played with the band. He was fired immediately. It's affected his voice too. One gig he stood up on a chair and fell on his ass. I had to use wired mics one time and he tried to go out into the audience and damn near pulled my mixer off the stand!
 
TooTrilla said:
Alcohol aint ok. I know several alcoholics that would rather drink than eat. And they wont stop drinking until they're dead. Some people you just can't help.
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Yeah. I know 1 chick that’s like that. But the rest either drink then fuck or drink then sleep or maybe talk a lil shit then pass out. I can deal wit that.
 
footloose said:
Yeah. I know 1 chick that’s like that. But the rest either drink then fuck or drink then sleep or maybe talk a lil shit then pass out. I can deal wit that.
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I'm not talking about someone that just drinks. I'm talking about a true alcoholic. Literally waiting till 9 o'clock am for the liquor store to open up. Maintaining their alcohol buzz the entire day. Not eating sometimes. If they dont have a drink for maybe a day, the withdrawals are unbearable or even fatal. That's when you're in trouble.
 
Yeah. Been surrounded by addiction my entire life.

Grandpa was an alcoholic. Mom had problems with pills. Had a few alcoholic girlfriends. One was on coke.

I have an old friend that got hooked on meth and needed a place to stay after he got out of jail. After 6 months I had to kick him out because I just couldn't help him.

In Oakland four roommates and I started a rent strike that was successful against some pretty steep odds. In the eight years since one of them got married to a Vegas crackhead who got him on the pipe. One of them was already lapsing back into heroin addiction. Not sure where he is. Another was an alcoholic who was on the run from the law last I heard. Another got addicted to meth, got clean, but still ended up with serious brain damage.

My roommate's husband was a meth and gambling addict. He got a charge and took off to Thailand where he's now doing 5 to 25 years in prison.

Looking back it seems that practically every person I've ever known has had a substance abuse issue at some point. Not quite sure what to make of it. Don't know what to do except accept them as they are and keep them at arm's length so that their habits don't have an impact on my own life.
 
Dannyblueyes said:
Yeah. Been surrounded by addiction my entire life.

Grandpa was an alcoholic. Mom had problems with pills. Had a few alcoholic girlfriends. One was on coke.

I have an old friend that got hooked on meth and needed a place to stay after he got out of jail. After 6 months I had to kick him out because I just couldn't help him.

In Oakland four roommates and I started a rent strike that was successful against some pretty steep odds. In the eight years since one of them got married to a Vegas crackhead who got him on the pipe. One of them was already lapsing back into heroin addiction. Not sure where he is. Another was an alcoholic who was on the run from the law last I heard. Another got addicted to meth, got clean, but still ended up with serious brain damage.

My roommate's husband was a meth and gambling addict. He got a charge and took off to Thailand where he's now doing 5 to 25 years in prison.

Looking back it seems that practically every person I've ever known has had a substance abuse issue at some point. Not quite sure what to make of it. Don't know what to do except accept them as they are and keep them at arm's length so that their habits don't have an impact on my own life.
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What kind of company do you keep? Is it because you’re in the music/club industry?
 
DWBass said:
I still wonder what ever happened to her.
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Yep, I got one of those ghosts to...

@Rembrandt Brown, da fuck you quizing the man like you is 5-0 and he is in an interogation room.

@DWBass your good sharing your shit, a lot of people don't understand addiction, they just see the negative effects and no longer see the person which is undestandable. If your wondering how I know look for a thread I started some years back "HIV, do you know your status".

H.I.V.... Do you know your status?

I've spoken openly of my drug usage in the past on the board I don't hide what I do and I'm not ashamed of it, at the end of the day it is only illegal not immoral. In 2001 I got the opportunity to get a 12 month working visa, 7 days later I was in a taxi getting high on my way to the airport...
www.bgol.us
 
VAiz4hustlaz said:
What kind of company do you keep? Is it because you’re in the music/club industry?
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Part of it is my profession. Two of the people I mentioned in the last post were promoters and another it was a rapper. All of my DJ mentors destroyed themselves through drugs except for one.

The biggest reason is that addiction was such an integral part of my upbringing that addicts seem to pop up everywhere. It's almost like we're drawn to each other. Even my first wife, who never had a single drink before we married, ended up becoming an alcoholic.

That's why most the company I keep is at arm's length. I'm tired of seeing people I care about die, go to jail, or lose their homes. That's why it's better not to care too much. It's also why I try hard to live and let live. Try to see who people are beyond their substances. Don't judge them for what they put in their bodies unless it affects my life.

In fact it's often hard to relate to people who are not addicts.
 

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