real talk - tell the real reason why you are not in a relationship ?

[femmenoire]

That shit about you and your partner growing apart, is BULLSHIT!!!
Ever heard that before? Wanna know why people say that?
Simple: One or both partners, stopped making the other person's happiness a major priority in each others life.


But I wish all of you Love,
I wish all of you Heaven.

Man you really spoke the gospel in this post!

And I see you're a Prince fan.

 

[RichwooD]

Married for 5 years, currently separated, getting a divorce. Currently living alone and enjoying it. Am I looking? No. Am I not looking? No. Whatever happens or doesn't happen will happen.

 

[Sah S!NCere]

1.) I just relocated approx. 3,000 miles (Jerz to LA) str8 outta college. I couldn't stay where I was at and pass up the golden opportunity to better myself emotionally, physically and spiritually. It would tore me inside for the rest of my life if I didn't.

2.) Neva really trusted women. If you live in the hood most chicks fuck with dudes wit the $$. So if you on the come up and they pass u up you remember that shit. Because loyalty for me is tops. How do I know if you're down with me and the whole idead of coming together as a team to be victorous in this life.

3.) Throughout my years I neva really wanted to pursue a full blown relationship mostly bcuz of outside influences and peer pressure. I decided to throw all that to the waist side.

 

[AlexandMorgan]

Was dealing with a married woman. Yeah i know it was wrong but after two years of celibacy it was hard to think straight. Getting ready to fuck her with the prerequisite foreplay and her husband calls her on her cell.

She carries on a conversation like nothing is happening with my fingers still in her pussy except for her body jerking around. Buck naked inside my house, fingers deep in her crotch and she tell Her husband with a grimace on her face "I love you."

Serious trust issues since then. I bounced since that time and never looked back. Always wonder when my time for payback will come cause i know i fucked up.

 

[PoppaSo]

Real Talk?

Cause "most" Black women ain't strong enough to go through what I have to go through to be strong for her.

I betta elaborate that...

They only want you after you got the money. If they can't see it...they don't recognize a brotha on the come up.

Be honest, "other" women can just "smell" when good brotha is around. All'n All.

I guess I just ain't personally ready for it yet. Mainly cause I such big dreams. Maybe one day I will, but I'm 45...so...

However, when I hit..."Again". I think this time I will have 20 women to make up for lost time instead of trying to hand pick one. haha

 

[Daddy Warbuck$]

I have a problem with staying faithful to one woman...now I can be faithful to many women but not just one. I know that sounds fucked up but hey its me.

 

[Daddy Warbuck$]

Was dealing with a married woman. Yeah i know it was wrong but after two years of celibacy it was hard to think straight. Getting ready to fuck her with the prerequisite foreplay and her husband calls her on her cell.

She carries on a conversation like nothing is happening with my fingers still in her pussy except for her body jerking around. Buck naked inside my house, fingers deep in her crotch and she tell Her husband with a grimace on her face "I love you."

Serious trust issues since then. I bounced since that time and never looked back. Always wonder when my time for payback will come cause i know i fucked up.

I feel you playboy, I'm suffering from the same shit. For awhile I was that "other" dude that wou;d fuck chicks that were in relationships. I've seen first hand how women can put on a front and act as if all is good. I've even been caught red handed in a chicks house when I her man popped up....she played that shit off so cool that ol boy didn't think nothing of me being there. I guess I have serious trust issues when it comes to women. In the back of my mind I be thinking "i'm not going to be the one to be looking foolish" so I don't commit 100% I might commit 75% but never a 100.

 

[WHOAMI]

I'm in the Air Force and I stay on the move the longest I've been in one spot is 2 yrs and thats over the last 10 years.

 

[Pussy Krook]

If that were only the case. It's seriously NOT that easy.

This is so interesting to me. I remember you said you would never be in another relationship with a female. Why is that if you don't mind me asking?

 

[kurrupt]

..cause i got goals n shit im trying accomplish and i need to be totally free to move accordingly. I dont need a chick to be complaining about spending time with them and all the other obligations that come with a relationship. Been ther done it..missed out on business opportunities an what not from it. DOnt get me wron there are supportive women out there...but theygonna b on ya mind when makin decisons and i dont need that clouding my judgement right now. If i needs to break out and go out of town to handle some meeting or what ever that can better my life..i dont want to hear it!
I like the freedom to do whatever u need to do badge to get what u need....this way im focused.
Chix can be distracting

 

[thoughtone]

honestly, it's because I don't really want the men who want me.

In the immortal words of Stephen Stills:

“And there’s a rose in the fisted glove and the eagle flies with the dove, and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with, love the one you’re with...”

 

[Efil4Zaggin]

Not in a relationship because I like my time and money to be spent on me.
One day that may change, but for now...it is what it is.

 

[INVICTUS3RD]

Man you really spoke the gospel in this post!

And I see you're a Prince fan.

Yes Dear Sister,

Some of my best performance's have been done to Prince's music...In fact, I had couple of women trying to steal the tape I made...Sorry Rabbit, tricks are for kids!

As far as what I wrote...that came outta alot of pain, trial and error. "My heart still bears the marks of emotional wounds."

Simply Red said that one.

God Bless 4ever

 

[bigeasy79]

honestly, it's because I don't really want the men who want me.

this answer, as simple as it is, is as honest as it gets. Although I had been single for a while until recently, i had pretty much the same issue. my suggestion to you Ciel, if you want a relationship, is patience and prayer. I will stop channeling Dr. Phil now.

 

[Chicutie]

Take the sister from Chi-town in an early post. She works and goes to school full-time. But she was mine (wishful thinking) and she said, "I got alot going on right now, but here is what I can give for now...If I am digging her and have a good feeling about the future, I can hang. 'Cause I got a life too. And it ain't about me tapping something else 'cause she ain't there or I am a dog...That is called, "Understanding"

What you said had a lot of truth in it but, in reality many people say they can be understanding. . . but when it comes down to it. . they are not. In my experiences, men can never deal with not being able to have me when they want me and it becomes a huge issue. For example, I dated someone just recently who was had his own life. . was successful and had a lot of good things going in his life. But when it came to me, he wasn't patient at all. He in the beginning that he was happy I was doing my own thing, but that ended up being the reason why don't even talk anymore.

I think understanding does not exist anymore.

 

[bigirl]

I think understanding does not exist anymore.

pretty much everyone wants what they want and they want it NOW

 

[Chicutie]

pretty much everyone wants what they want and they want it NOW

I agree.

 

[bigirl]

I agree.

women see potential which is one reason why we get fucked over
men see what is there right this second

 

[INVICTUS3RD]

women see potential which is one reason why we get fucked over
men see what is there right this second

Check this:

I work with this chick, tells me she got a man, but we exchange numbers (Problem#1)...but I am cool...I can dig it...And I never violate...not my style.

Now I plan this outing with my nieces and invite her...Said "cool" she will go. Now I tell her the date (Nov.24) of this outing and she said, "cool."

I planned this very well...around payday, holiday...all that.

When I confirm, she tells me I said, "the 19th"!!!

Cool...needless to say, she texted me on Saturday to say she could not make it...but I text her and tell her listen...I can dig u not showing, but do not play me...I know, without a doubt...I said the "24th" and told her she needs to be honest...Stop swearing up and down that I said one thing and I know I didn't. Don't try the Jedi mind trick with me.

Then she starts saying that she has been honest about her seeing someone.

What does that have to do with the price of coffee?

To me: her seeing someone has nothing to do with the date I set up.

If she can't make it, she can't make it. I UNDERSTAND. She starts this text message war and I just wish her a nice weekend and all the best. I know the deal and I am not pressed.

Now why did I take the number and I know she has got a man?
She offered! It was not like she is in love and making plans to walk down the isle next summer. She just told me she was seeing someone and that was cool.

Bottomline, I know this game very well...I UNDERSTAND it and play my position well, 'cause I know where I am at.

Men and women have to get to that point in their lives. And not be so selfish.
I sorta dated this chick with kids...I have none...and I tried to plan "our" time together...Everytime I did, she screams, "I have kids!"

Now I can dig that, even tho' I do not, but let's make a schedule, so that the kids are not neglected, you have your time, I have mine and we get together when we can.

Wrong. She told me that I dunno UNDERSTAND 'cause I ain't got no kids and I am selfish.

But what about a schedule we can all work with and I know that emergencies can alter plans, so I can be flexible since I have no kids.

No. She told me to catch when I can.

So I know it is tough. You want someone in your life to share life with. Man/Woman was not made to be alone. But if you and your partner or potential partner are not reading from the same sheet music and not willing to adapt or be flexible without selling your soul...things are going to be doomed. Charge it to the game and keep it moving.

Chi - Homeboy wanted ass...and when he saw how serious you are about your grind and had no control over you, he bounced...Selfish and I am sorry that happened.

Just stay true to yourself and it will come. Trust.

Someone teach me how to post a song...I wanna share something with all of you that might help with the heartbreaks...I has helped me and it is not porn!
It's for real, for real. Send me a PM and spell it out like I am a 4 year old, alright?

Trust me.

God Bless and be good

 

[SinaminDelite]

This is so interesting to me. I remember you said you would never be in another relationship with a female. Why is that if you don't mind me asking?

To make a long story short, women are fragile creatures. I always come across characters, for lack of better word, both male and female. My decision to never get into a relationship with a woman is because I can't deal with some of emotional baggage some bi ladies carry. They're confused about themselves and what they're looking for, especially if they never been with another woman before. I have no time for ladies like that because it took me years to be comfortable with the person I am, and I can't move backwards in life to please someone. I also always attract the ones who are a hiatus from their baby daddy, and want something serious, but the second the BD gets his shit together, it's bye-bye for me. Lesbians are a no-no for me because they're usually quick to make me "choose a side". I already made a choice, and I won't change or lie about who I am just for pussy. It's never that serious.

 

[Pussy Krook]

To make a long story short, women are fragile creatures. I always come across characters, for lack of better word, both male and female. My decision to never get into a relationship with a woman is because I can't deal with some of emotional baggage some bi ladies carry. They're confused about themselves and what they're looking for, especially if they never been with another woman before. I have no time for ladies like that because it took me years to be comfortable with the person I am, and I can't move backwards in life to please someone. I also always attract the ones who are a hiatus from their baby daddy, and want something serious, but the second the BD gets his shit together, it's bye-bye for me. Lesbians are a no-no for me because they're usually quick to make me "choose a side". I already made a choice, and I won't change or lie about who I am just for pussy. It's never that serious.

So your looking for a relationship with a dude who is comfortable with you being wtih other women from time to time. I can't imagine that would be hard to find. Shit I would love it as long as I could join in but aren't some men threatened by this?

 

[Twistyaaliyah]

honestly, it's because I don't really want the men who want me.

thats the same for me as well. There was this one dude but he went ovaseas to study. Other than that most that want to talk to me i doan look at them that.

 

[SinaminDelite]

So your looking for a relationship with a dude who is comfortable with you being wtih other women from time to time. I can't imagine that would be hard to find. Shit I would love it as long as I could join in but aren't some men threatened by this?

You know what? A lot of people think that's what every bisexual wants, but I don't. I'm selfish, and I can't ask for you to remain faithful while I do my thing on the side on occasion. If the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't go for it, or I'd downgrade our relationship to something purely physical. If I'm with you, and we have a exclusive relationship, I'm with you ONLY.
And you would be so surprised how many men are threatened by that, despite me telling them that I am a monogamous person. I've had guys flat out say they'd never be with a bisexual because not only do they have to worry about male friends and men in general, now they have to wonder about my female friends and just how "close" we may be. They could take me leaving them for another man, but not a woman.

 

[Pussy Krook]

You know what? A lot of people think that's what every bisexual wants, but I don't. I'm selfish, and I can't ask for you to remain faithful while I do my thing on the side on occasion. If the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn't go for it, or I'd downgrade our relationship to something purely physical. If I'm with you, and we have a exclusive relationship, I'm with you ONLY.
And you would be so surprised how many men are threatened by that, despite me telling them that I am a monogamous person. I've had guys flat out say they'd never be with a bisexual because not only do they have to worry about male friends and men in general, now they have to wonder about my female friends and just how "close" we may be. They could take me leaving them for another man, but not a woman.

I never understood why a dude would say they would rather a woman leave them for a man not another woman. To me if she left me for a woman it would be because of something I couldn't give her that she could. Thats something out of my control. Now if she leaves you for another man to me its worse because you obviously wasn't handling your business correctly.

 

[SinaminDelite]

I never understood why a dude would say they would rather a woman leave them for a man not another woman. To me if she left me for a woman it would be because of something I couldn't give her that she could. Thats something out of my control. Now if she leaves you for another man to me its worse because you obviously wasn't handling your business correctly.

That's what I thought too, but it's apparently not the case.

 

[DonCaesar]

Real talk, I'm single right now because I'm trying ti figure out what it is I'm REALLY looking for. I'm not necessarily lookin for fiance material right now, but I'm lookin for someone pretty close. An also, this might sound cocky, but I'm raising my standards and lookin for the impossible "total package". I've worked hard over the years to try and become not just the best me possible, but the best man possible. I got a lot goin for me, and a bright future ahead. And I really want my next wifey to be able to compete with me in that regard. Why should I bring everything to the relationship and you can't at least match. It's a shot in the dark, but I'm young enough to maybe get lucky. Plus, this gives a brutha a chance to dig a lil bit deeper in this non-commitment thing.