Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/kids?

[jucurious]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

The high divorce rate.

No wonder women keep dumping their babies in garbage bin because maybe they feel like men view them as damage goods when they have kids.

...yeah i was taken back by your comment. for some reason your comment is giving off an aura of absolute truth that u tried to quell w/ using the word maybe. i guess b/c it was "AHAAish" in nature aka "it all makes sense now"...but i digress

the babies in the garbage scenarios have MANY different factors besides being viewed as damaged goods.

OUCH! Damn, cuz, kinda rough. Lot of truth in that, though. Am I missing something? Are we not as fucked up as I think we are? Is a 70% birthrate outside of marriage sustainable?

I'm just askin'

where is this 70% birthrate outside of marriage statistic coming from?

I asked this on the main board and got no answer but now that Robeson said it...I KNOW I'm gonna get some stats now.....YESSSSSSSSS!!

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

dang

according to some of the comments in this thread a 26+ yr old woman is damned if she has kids out of wedlock and damned if she has them while married

just can't get a break huh?

and maybe a woman is childless b/c she has not been preggo yet...you know that is still possible

but true

A woman who has children from marriage or from a long-term and healthy relationship, I would not/have not minded dating. It's the "others" with multiple baby daddies and the drama-filled milieu that are the ones most stable men avoid. I guess I have a lower tolerance due to my line of work.

No no sis, we have to have had abortions that's why we are childless

The dude who said that was retarded. Most Black women CHOOSE to have the baby, that's why we're in the predicament we have now.

where is this 70% birthrate outside of marriage statistic coming from?

I asked this on the main board and got no answer but now that Robeson said it...I KNOW I'm gonna get some stats now.....YESSSSSSSSS!!

The stat was most recently quoted by Black Messiah Barack Obama in a speech. If you search "Black children born out of wedlock", you will find several sources dictating that statistic.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

...yeah i was taken back by your comment. for some reason your comment is giving off an aura of absolute truth that u tried to quell w/ using the word maybe. i guess b/c it was "AHAAish" in nature aka "it all makes sense now"...but i digress

the babies in the garbage scenarios have MANY different factors besides being viewed as damaged goods.



where is this 70% birthrate outside of marriage statistic coming from?

I asked this on the main board and got no answer but now that Robeson said it...I KNOW I'm gonna get some stats now.....YESSSSSSSSS!!

In 2005 the percent of all births to all unmarried women is 36.9%
Source CDC.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/FASTATS/unmarry.htm

The out of wedlcok birth rate for BLACK WOMEN is 70%
http://americanpowerblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/culture-of-black-out-of-wedlock-births.html

 

[jucurious]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

In 2005 the percent of all births to all unmarried women is 36.9%
Source CDC.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/FASTATS/unmarry.htm

The out of wedlcok birth rate for BLACK WOMEN is 70%
http://americanpowerblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/culture-of-black-out-of-wedlock-births.html

thank ya kindly..i will be checking out the site

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Men are no better, but the tangible consequences are not as evident as they are in women (body changes, custody of children, etc). The main point is, if a man and a woman have the same amount of sex, the woman will be much more adversely affected because ultimately it's HER body that will deal with the repercussions and not the man. She'll also most likely be the sole caregiver of the child.

All of that should make one hold single mothers in HIGHER esteem and single daddies in lower.

Considering the high incarceration, unemployment, and HIV rates (and low education rates) of black men, it's black women who are stuck behind the 8 ball. They can't afford to have "rules," since eligible black partners are so few and far between.

 

[sexylegz33]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

I don't see why a woman would get mad at that. You are entitled. As a single mother, I would appreciate your honesty and you not wasting my time. Plenty of other men out there that don't mind and/or they are also single parents theirselves. Everything aint for everybody.

 

[Rudey]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

touché

If the cap doesn't fit I don't see why people are wearing it.Simple if it doesn't apply to you then it doesn't.

It is obvious that some of you people cannot read and comprehend.
My statement about the percentage of childless women is that some do have abortions hence them being childless.How is that an incorrect statement?


Maybe all this looking down on Black women with kids could be one of the many reason why Black men seek women outside their race since "Most Black women CHOOSE to have the baby hence the predicament"

smh!

 

[Rudey]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

The dude who said that was retarded. Most Black women CHOOSE to have the baby, that's why we're in the predicament we have now.

No!

It seems to me you are the one that is retarded or suffer from some reading and comprehending disability.

While you are referring to MOST black women that has child/children,I was referring to the percentage of black women that are childless.Two different thing.

Read and get the right interpretation of what I type not what you think I typed.

 

[owl]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

All of that should make one hold single mothers in HIGHER esteem and single daddies in lower.

Considering the high incarceration, unemployment, and HIV rates (and low education rates) of black men, it's black women who are stuck behind the 8 ball. They can't afford to have "rules," since eligible black partners are so few and far between.

I really have no idea why cats hate on you on this board, but you always state the real in my book...

I never have the problem of being a single father, in fact in some instances it helps...

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

You don't understand birth control is not the ultimate answer. It really can mess up a womans body,the 5 year birth control works in some women and not in others.

Scorpio that is a not a valid excuse in my book.

There is an ARRAY of different birth control devices available.
Yes some have some side effects.

But the side effect of HAVING SEX WITHOUT BIRTH CONTROL is a baby

As a woman shouldn't you take responsibility for your own body and future?
If you choose to be sexually active... shouldn't you as a woman use a form of birth control?

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

But the side effect of HAVING SEX WITHOUT BIRTH CONTROL is a baby

So why don't men realize this?

(Men are not only creating unwanted children, but also spreading disease. Easy solution to both = condom. Yet, men can't be bothered, because their pleasure and convenience always comes first.)

 

[Crown&Coke]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Having kids is the fault of both people, not just the man or the woman. Both should take precautions. Men wear condoms and women should be on birth control​

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Both should take precautions. Men wear condoms and women should be on birth control.

Which is more physically intrusive and body-(health)-altering, not to mention more expensive and difficult to obtain (and useless against disease)?

 

[GET YOU HOT]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

But why don't the fathers face the same thing (as we know men are far more promiscious, reckless and certainly irresponsible after the birth)?

Men brag about their promsicuity day and night (see BGOL) and then shamelessly throw darts at the women who have to clean up their messes after them. This is the 21st century. Gotta finally get over the caveman mentality.

I would have to say, they live a lie, everything they do is invested in the deception...

 

[owl]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

The reality (yes the statistical data supports) that black women are overwhelmingly overweight.........and are voluntary having kid(s) out of wedlock. Of course not ALL blackwomen........but it is difficult to find one that is physically active...and without children. So I would be foolish not to broaden by horizons to other cultures of women. Black folks make up 12% of the population so why limit myself? Race is not my MOST IMPORTANT criteria in mate selection.

I have conflicting views regarding interracial dating/fucking/marriage, one thought nationalistic, the other humanistic, but if one can look past race(a consideration with grave weight in a society such as ours) then why not weight(something that can be altered a lot faster than race)?

 

[onyxfemme]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

All of that should make one hold single mothers in HIGHER esteem and single daddies in lower.

Considering the high incarceration, unemployment, and HIV rates (and low education rates) of black men, it's black women who are stuck behind the 8 ball. They can't afford to have "rules," since eligible black partners are so few and far between.

Dang it Blunt! This post made me like you again

ITA w/ this post

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

So why don't men realize this?

(Men are not only creating unwanted children, but also spreading disease. Easy solution to both = condom. Yet, men can't be bothered, because their pleasure and convenience always comes first.)

And women can't be bothered to not spread their legs to some nigga not wearing a condom. Pointing the finger one way and there's three pointing back.

 

[glueguy]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

I have conflicting views regarding interracial dating/fucking/marriage, one thought nationalistic, the other humanistic, but if one can look past race(a consideration with grave weight in a society such as ours) then why not weight(something that can be altered a lot faster than race)?

because they are pretty women in every race, however most men in our society are not initially attracted to fat women

 

[absolutvodka]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Dang it Blunt! This post made me like you again

ITA w/ this post

co-signing a racist honky is disgraceful behavior

in a perfect world niggas would get shot for that shit.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

So why don't men realize this?

(Men are not only creating unwanted children, but also spreading disease. Easy solution to both = condom. Yet, men can't be bothered, because their pleasure and convenience always comes first.)

Men such as myself to realize this. But everyone has to take responsibility for their own actions. A woman should not "rely" solely on the man to wear a condom. Condoms can break or accidently slide off. A woman that is taking responsibility for her own body would ALSO be on some type of contraception.

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

in a perfect world niggas would get shot for that shit.

In a perfect world you wouldn't have computer access (until you turned 21, ....at least mentally).

 

[Blunt]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

And women can't be bothered to not spread their legs to some nigga not wearing a condom. Pointing the finger one way and there's three pointing back.

Sex is natural and instinctive, as is the desire for motherhood. Condoms are the simplest and most effective protection against both pregnancy and disease, but they're apparently too complicated for certain men to handle. These fellows are apparently rendered helpless when ANY woman "spreads her legs," and their concerns about fatherhood and disease fly out the window.

Women aren't the ones complaining about the kids they helped create, men are.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Sex is natural and instinctive, as is the desire for motherhood. Condoms are the simplest and most effective protection against both pregnancy and disease, but they're apparently too complicated for certain men to handle. These fellows are apparently rendered helpless when ANY woman "spreads her legs," and their concerns about fatherhood and disease fly out the window.

Women aren't the ones complaining about the kids they helped create, men are.

No..but women want it both ways. When a NIGGA ask you to have an ABORTION its "THE WOMAN'S BODY FOR HER TO MAKE A CHOICE".

But when it comes time for child support the tune changes to "YOU NIGGA CREATED THIS CHILD".

So if a child in the womb is a WOMAN's BODY.............then she needs to be responsible for her body.

Otherwise Men should have SAY SO as to whether a woman could abort the baby or not.

Or better yet. With the EXCEPTION of a DIVORCE.
The only way that a man should be made to pay child support should be if the man gave the women written consent attesting that he WANTED A CHILD.

See how many woman would all of suddenly QUIT HAVING BABIES "ACCIDENTLY"

 

[onyxfemme]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

co-signing a racist honky is disgraceful behavior

in a perfect world niggas would get shot for that shit.

In a perfect world your dad would have busted in your mom's mouth instead of up in her.....

 

[glueguy]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

why we arguing over this stupid shit. if you want to date single moms then do it. if you dont want to, then dont.

i dont date single moms, and if a women has a problem with then that is her problem.

 

[absolutvodka]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

In a perfect world your dad would have busted in your mom's mouth instead of up in her.....

it shows what kinda woman you're dealing with when she disses your mother

.

 

[kjxxxx]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

If you decide to date women with kids. Be sure to find out why it didn't work with the baby's father and why it's going to be different with you.

Who ever you decide to get serious with make sure you get a good understanding of how she deals with problems. See what her attitude is on preserving the family and doing what it takes to make the relationship works.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

If you decide to date women with kids. Be sure to find out why it didn't work with the baby's father and why it's going to be different with you.

Who ever you decide to get serious with make sure you get a good understanding of how she deals with problems. See what her attitude is on preserving the family and doing what it takes to make the relationship works.

I feel you... I don't date women with kids. But I do observe them and have in the back of my head "If she treats her kids like this, hell then this is what type of mother she would be to my future children".

Which is what I think about single mothers that I see listening to Lil Wayne with their children in the car

When the mother is always dumping the kids off at grandmothers

When the mother thinks that a coach bag is still important

When a mother goes out to the club for something other than a homegirl's birthday celebration

I could go on.......but I will stop here.

 

[babalou]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Ok I am a 30 year old professional male. I'm in good athletic shape.. and dont' have any children.

I do not seriously date women with kids for several reasons:

• I am a spontaneous guy.. a woman with a child can't be spontaneous.
• I don't mind slutting the mother out....but I would hate to enter a childs life..and then be gone.
• Usually there is a baby's daddy in the mix to complicate shit
• I don't feel right come behind and taking care of (dealing with) another negroes offspring
• Most important to me.. when I decide to marry that right one.. I want us to experience the 1st child thing together.

My assumption is that when I have a conversation with a woman..and it gets to that point of "should we exchange numbers" if she say she have a kid........I tell her how NICELY how I feel about the kid issue.

So from a woman's perspective...why do I get the nasty looks and responses..from women that have children? Is it jealousy?

man FUCK KIDS!​

Some in the SOL crew might find that statement ridiculously immature, but the OP hit the bullseye several times with his post. Dude is handling his across the board (hence putting the physicall fit shit in there) and is out to pull something nice. He reserves the right to behave like he's picking produce.

Now I know some sistas handle theirs when it comes to the kids but some dudes just dont roll with kids like that. If I'm with a woman I dont want to have to worry about switching up the dialogue from adult to kiddy and back because a little one is nearby. I think the OP may have run into chicks who get angry when he tells them on the kids is because they know they've fuckin disqualified themselves from all the recklessness that younger, childless women can enjoy just as long as it isnt hurting anyone. Just walk onto any college campus and you will see what I mean.

I value my freedom and treat life like the day after slavery. I'm trying to breathe without having to smell shitty diapers or baby formula. Parenthood is a lovely thing, but just not for all of us.

 

[DeSiRe]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

i prefer to date men for the same reasons

im not understanding why someone would get mad

everyone has thier deal breakers

 

[jucurious]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

man FUCK KIDS!​

Some in the SOL crew might find that statement ridiculously immature, but the OP hit the bullseye several times with his post. Dude is handling his across the board (hence putting the physicall fit shit in there) and is out to pull something nice. He reserves the right to behave like he's picking produce.

Now I know some sistas handle theirs when it comes to the kids but some dudes just dont roll with kids like that. If I'm with a woman I dont want to have to worry about switching up the dialogue from adult to kiddy and back because a little one is nearby. I think the OP may have run into chicks who get angry when he tells them on the kids is because they know they've fuckin disqualified themselves from all the recklessness that younger, childless women can enjoy just as long as it isnt hurting anyone. Just walk onto any college campus and you will see what I mean.

I value my freedom and treat life like the day after slavery. I'm trying to breathe without having to smell shitty diapers or baby formula. Parenthood is a lovely thing, but just not for all of us.

ehhh i don't see ur comment as immature BUT i do see your large bold dark print and provocative statement (some consider it attention whoring ) as a way to grab people's attention to your commentary.

the interesting thing IMO....your commentary really doesn't support your bold statement. you seem to have a problem more with a woman who has kids then the kids themselves so would your comment be FUCK WOMEN WITH KIDS than FUCK KIDS?

ehhh

maybe i'm wrong

 

[mo_snitching]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

I don't believe women with children should be with another man. I know they DO. Of course i know they do. But i don't think it's something they should do. To me it's just something you take as a loss. And i understand the lonliness factor. I understand how powerful it is to such a social creature that women are. But i can't make that fit in my head that this person COULD possibly harm your children and you ALLOWED THEM INTO your HOME.

 

[mailboxpimp]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

BECAUSE THEY GOT KIDZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF YOU THINKING......???? THEY STILL WANT TO BE LOOKED @ & REGUARDED AS WOMEN.... ATRACTIVE WOMEN...... NOT JUST PARENTS...... BUT.... FUCK THAT........ SHE GOT KIDS & SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT LETTIN THAT CLOWN ASS NIGGAH NUTT IN THEM.... I DONT FUCK WIT WOMEN WIT KIDS....... I AINT GOT IT!!!! IM REALLY JUST NOT INTERESTED IN HELPING SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF A RESPONSIBILITY THAT I HAD NOT PART IN MAKING...... HELL I DONT GIVE A BITCH MONEY PERIOD... BUT.....KIDS...FOH..... REALLY NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN BEING FUCK BUDDIES...... + THE SCRAMBLED EGG STOMACH... IM GOOD.....

i have this convo wit my moms every now & then...... she was married when she had my sisters.... single wit me..... i had good male role models ... she had 1 bf.... he had to go....she almost got married .... but i tell her shit aint the same..... these dumb ass women.... cant expect them to know shit when they mother is 50.....45.....i know a bitch thats a grandmother @ 34....wtf???? some even younger than that..... or how about the bitch that goes to the club wit her moms...... how many times you run into a mofukka.... wit dsisrespectful... no home training..... rude ass kids...... & dont want you to tell them nothing.... then they eventually start telling you their financial problems associated with raising their kids.... food, clothes, tuition, b'days, christmas, after school shit..... all cause you wanna fuck?????? paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssss! hits the exit!

Ok I am a 30 year old professional male. I'm in good athletic shape.. and dont' have any children.

I do not seriously date women with kids for several reasons:

• I am a spontaneous guy.. a woman with a child can't be spontaneous.
• I don't mind slutting the mother out....but I would hate to enter a childs life..and then be gone.
• Usually there is a baby's daddy in the mix to complicate shit
• I don't feel right come behind and taking care of (dealing with) another negroes offspring
• Most important to me.. when I decide to marry that right one.. I want us to experience the 1st child thing together.

My assumption is that when I have a conversation with a woman..and it gets to that point of "should we exchange numbers" if she say she have a kid........I tell her how NICELY how I feel about the kid issue.

So from a woman's perspective...why do I get the nasty looks and responses..from women that have children? Is it jealousy?

 

[mailboxpimp]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

I have conflicting views regarding interracial dating/fucking/marriage, one thought nationalistic, the other humanistic, but if one can look past race(a consideration with grave weight in a society such as ours) then why not weight(something that can be altered a lot faster than race)?

who really wants to fuck a fat bitch????????? seriously??????? i just cant see how looking @ extra rolls & flabb all over the place where its not supposed to be can be attractive... big women although sometimes cute are to me when it comes to fucking.... we can be friends all day but nooooooooooooooo dick or even head!!!!!!!! .....no thanks.... just introduce me to your slim friend...

 

[dHustla]

Re: Question for the Ladies: Why do women get upset when I say I dont' date women w/k

Incredibly Extreme Scenario...?????

I laugh at thee...

Let him date who he wants, but don't misunderstand.

This has absolutely everything to do with the issue. In fact, the "accidents", I wasn't talking about condoms breaking or "slipping off", I'm talking about unprotected sex, lack of ownership/responsibility, it happens, it's rampant.


Enter religious beliefs, a broken heart or lack of funds for abortion. The fact that the parent(s), has not planned for the result>>>Is exactly, what creates this situation to begin with, ie. "Women with kids", helpless, widowed, assumed to be permiscuous, worthless, whatever the case, UNWED and out there to be victimized, worked hard, used, disrespected, blamed, laughed at, exploited and lied to. That is what single black mothers face.

Damn GYH, You just made me feel like shit.

I ain't tryna do all that to nobody mama. I just wanna share my company with someone that I'm equally yoked with.

Why you make me feel like this?