Pause for a cause: Hug your kids mayne

[Lurk Diggler]

To my BGOL fam just need to get some shit off rock with me real quick…
I’ve spent a lot of time here liking pics and talking shit. This lil corner of cyberspace means a lot to me not just for the titty pics but for the discussions the tips/info about a vast array of topics. I have been thoroughly entertained and educated here
Thank y’all.

Though I don’t “know” any of you I do feel connected to you via this here forum…now that the mushy stuff is said. I just request to all the parents here.

HUG AND TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!!

If you already do; GOOD. do it more! Do not take “fine” and “good” as acceptable answers when checking on them
My oldest child committed suicide recently and my world is beyond shook to the point even as i type this it seems unreal and i feel crazy for even sharing this personal and private situation publicly.

I and his family talked with him all the time and still couldn’t reach the darkness and pain in him and as we go through our various phases of grief the one thing that will haunt me the most is I accepted “fine” “cool” and “good” too often. I took silence as strength rather than a symptom of pain

I wish could say and express so much more but I think it best to leave it at that ‘ppreciate y’all letting me stand on the soapbox for second. Love on your babies mayne.


R.I.P my child my heart is with you always

 

[CoTtOnMoUf]

I'm sorry to hear you loss.

You are right... we take too much for granted in this venture that we call life.

Stay strong, my BGOL brother.

 

[Coldchi]

My condolences. Stay strong fam.

 

[the artist]

Damn! I feel for you. I have a daughter that sorta worries me right about now. I cant even imagine your pain. Seek counseling to deal with the grief if needed and even if you feel that you dont need it.
Please try and stay strong not only for yourself but for your family also.
Just yesterday my cousin was telling me about one of his coworkers' 10 year old son who committed suicide just this week.

Wishing you and yours well. Please accept my condolences

 

[Lexx Diamond]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace to your son and condolences to your family.

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

Stay strong, LD.

Condolences to you and your family, and keep your son’s memory close always, as you surely will. May he rest in peace.

 

[4 Dimensional]

Real shit. Sorry to hear, fam. I hope you find some light though these tough times.

 

[Fuckallyall]

My man, I pray for your family. The worst fear of all parents is burying their child.

 

[NightMare Paint]

I can't even imagine the hell you're enduring and the pain you will carry forward. I'm so sorry brother. What your son was going through was so complex that its just something we are neither naturally nor socially conditioned to recognize and contend with on our own.

Please don't see this as anyone's personal failing. The worst impulses just happened to get the better of him that day. The greatest thing you can do for him now is just what you are doing: spreading awareness and being an advocate for Black men's mental health. You'll never stop being his father.

 

[Darkness's]

Tye reaction buttons arent working for me but you have my condolences

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

Well said @NightMare Paint .

 

[REDLINE]

I’m very very saddened to hear the truly devastating news @Lurk Diggler

Thank you for sharing and the advice, and let us know if you need anything because we’re here for you.

I send my deepest condolences to you, your family and envy one affected by the blessing of your son’s life.

 

[PsiBorg]

I'm really sorry for your loss, Brother. I know what it's like to lose a child, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I would say don't try to get over it, because the grief is maddening and it's going to fight you every step of the way. Try to manage it. If you feel like you need to breakdown, breakdown. The more you try to hold it in, the worse it gets.

My condolences to you and your family...

 

[REDLINE]

To my BGOL fam just need to get some shit off rock with me real quick…
I’ve spent a lot of time here liking pics and talking shit. This lil corner of cyberspace means a lot to me not just for the titty pics but for the discussions the tips/info about a vast array of topics. I have been thoroughly entertained and educated here
Thank y’all.

Though I don’t “know” any of you I do feel connected to you via this here forum…now that the mushy stuff is said. I just request to all the parents here.

HUG AND TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!!

If you already do; GOOD. do it more! Do not take “fine” and “good” as acceptable answers when checking on them
My oldest child committed suicide recently and my world is beyond shook to the point even as i type this it seems unreal and i feel crazy for even sharing this personal and private situation publicly.

I and his family talked with him all the time and still couldn’t reach the darkness and pain in him and as we go through our various phases of grief the one thing that will haunt me the most is I accepted “fine” “cool” and “good” too often. I took silence as strength rather than a symptom of pain

I wish could say and express so much more but I think it best to leave it at that ‘ppreciate y’all letting me stand on the soapbox for second. Love on your babies mayne.


R.I.P my child my heart is with you always

This won't help with what you're feeling, but you're not to blame and it's not your fault. Most likely there was nothing that you could've done.

What I've learned from suicides is that those that have committed them is. The person usually never tells others how bad it actually is. And usually never tells those around them how bad they're actually feeling or what they're thinking about doing.

It's usually an internal struggle that isn't shared with the world. They may say that they're not happy, but usually don't say how unhappy they are or what they're planning to do.

 

[Z MONSTER]

Sorry for your loss. Please stay strong.

 

[godofwine]

First, condolences to you and your family. A friend of mine's son committed suicide 3 years ago, and last month I drove down to Cincinnati, 3 hours away to be with her for a Suicide Walk to show support.

I've been attacked by that darkness, and what got me through it was a chance meeting I had with a nurse I was trying to get with.

When I asked where she worked, she said, "he suicide ward. A ward where people attempted suicide and failed."

I didn't know that was a thing. She told me stories about people who had attempted suicide and failed, and every situation could have ended up the other way, but didn't.

I tell anyone who is faced with that darkness to give tomorrow a chance. This life is a lot like war, because there are no days off. Even days off aren't days off.

I tell people, you've already survived your worst day. If today sucks, give tomorrow a chance. You can win the lottery. You can meet the love of your life. Tomorrow has endless possibilities, but you got to give tomorrow a chance.

13 years ago when I got divorced it was the lowest of low for me. I seriously contemplated it, and the only thing that stopped me was the Chance meeting with that nurse. 13 years later, I'm in a much better place mentally, financially.

Again, my condolences, but we have to convince people to give tomorrow a chance. It can get so much better

 

[dtownsfinest]

To my BGOL fam just need to get some shit off rock with me real quick…
I’ve spent a lot of time here liking pics and talking shit. This lil corner of cyberspace means a lot to me not just for the titty pics but for the discussions the tips/info about a vast array of topics. I have been thoroughly entertained and educated here
Thank y’all.

Though I don’t “know” any of you I do feel connected to you via this here forum…now that the mushy stuff is said. I just request to all the parents here.

HUG AND TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!!

If you already do; GOOD. do it more! Do not take “fine” and “good” as acceptable answers when checking on them
My oldest child committed suicide recently and my world is beyond shook to the point even as i type this it seems unreal and i feel crazy for even sharing this personal and private situation publicly.

I and his family talked with him all the time and still couldn’t reach the darkness and pain in him and as we go through our various phases of grief the one thing that will haunt me the most is I accepted “fine” “cool” and “good” too often. I took silence as strength rather than a symptom of pain

I wish could say and express so much more but I think it best to leave it at that ‘ppreciate y’all letting me stand on the soapbox for second. Love on your babies mayne.


R.I.P my child my heart is with you always

RIP man that’s tough man that’s one of my biggest fears as a parent.

But let me say this and I hope it’s not taken the wrong way but it’s coming from a good place. When people are in a dark spot you gotta seek professional help. We get told to suck it up or go to church….its ok to seek help outside of family. Most cases it’s the best route because you talk to someone you don’t know and know it won’t get out.

Your child was in a dark spot but you can’t beat yourself up about it as far as not giving enough emotional support or hugs. That darkness is real.

Sorry again to hear this. Pray you and your family find peace.

 

[mcguyver]

My condolences

 

[D24OHA]

My condolences fam.

How have you been in the time since this thread?

Are you talking to someone? How's your mental health?

 

[PlayerR]

My condolences

 

[Lurk Diggler]

My condolences fam.

How have you been in the time since this thread?

Are you talking to someone? How's your mental health?

Thanks for asking folk.
I’m pretty fuck up about it all just going day by day. I'm functional but in a terrible brain fog. right now I’m learning the business of death when someone commits suicide so every week I’m reliving it or having to tell the story to insurance companies, his school to unenroll him, his bills/banking etc. Cleaning his apt out tomorrow and I’m shook about seeing it… but is what it is. I’m the pappy so ima go get his stuff out.
Planning to do some solo and family therapy after holidays with his siblings. It’s hitting them hard too but in a ways I don’t fully understand.

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

Thanks for asking folk.
I’m pretty fuck up about it all just going day by day. I'm functional but in a terrible brain fog. right now I’m learning the business of death when someone commits suicide so every week I’m reliving it or having to tell the story to insurance companies, his school to unenroll him, his bills/banking etc. Cleaning his apt out tomorrow and I’m shook about seeing it… but is what it is. I’m the pappy so ima go get his stuff out.
Planning to do some solo and family therapy after holidays with his siblings. It’s hitting them hard too but in a ways I don’t fully understand.

Stay strong, L.


Solo and family therapy is a great plan, and wishing nothing but the best for you and your family.


Keep this thread going & voice your thoughts anytime. All of BGOL has your back during this most trying of times.

 

[NightMare Paint]

Thanks for asking folk.
I’m pretty fuck up about it all just going day by day. I'm functional but in a terrible brain fog. right now I’m learning the business of death when someone commits suicide so every week I’m reliving it or having to tell the story to insurance companies, his school to unenroll him, his bills/banking etc. Cleaning his apt out tomorrow and I’m shook about seeing it… but is what it is. I’m the pappy so ima go get his stuff out.
Planning to do some solo and family therapy after holidays with his siblings. It’s hitting them hard too but in a ways I don’t fully understand.

Brother feel free to continue this thread as a diary/venting space as you navigate this tremendous fucking mountain that is before you. We ain't worth a damn most of the time but we'll do our best to curate an atmosphere that allows you to honor your boy.

 

[Lurk Diggler]

Brother feel free to continue this thread as a diary/venting space as you navigate this tremendous fucking mountain that is before you. We ain't worth a damn most of the time but we'll do our best to curate an atmosphere that allows you to honor your boy.

Appreciate it mayne going thru the motions shit heavy like a Scarface playlist
Yeah I know y’all ain’t shit… that’s the appeal!

 

[Kaotic]

I am soo sorry to hear this brotha. I have no words that I feel would be adequate. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

 

[Lurk Diggler]

2 months in still struggling to believe he’s gone cleaning out his dorm/apt I learned more about who he really was and into; cain’t get into details atm but I feel mad hurt and betrayed…
My pops always said who nigha really is resides in his nightstand/sock drawer and mayne he was right… not judging him cause all kids keep things from they parents but i thought we was finally starting that transition in our relationship from father/son to father/son/friends

 

[REDLINE]

2 months in still struggling to believe he’s gone cleaning out his dorm/apt I learned more about who he really was and into; cain’t get into details atm but I feel mad hurt and betrayed…
My pops always said who nigha really is resides in his nightstand/sock drawer and mayne he was right… not judging him cause all kids keep things from they parents but i thought we was finally starting that transition in our relationship from father/son to father/son/friends

I'm sorry man, just very sorry. I know that everyone says that, but that's the only thing that I can say.

I'm sorry that he did that to himself, and sorry that he did that to his family and friends. Like all I wish he would've talked to someone and made a different decision.

I know that the thoughts and memories have your mind everywhere when it comes to him.

 

[Lurk Diggler]

I'm sorry man, just very sorry. I know that everyone says that, but that's the only thing that I can say.

I'm sorry that he did that to himself, and sorry that he did that to his family and friends. Like all I wish he would've talked to someone and made a different decision.

I know that the thoughts and memories have your mind everywhere when it comes to him.

Appreciate the words and insight. The bolded is part of the betrayal for me.
He was talking to people but wasn’t being truthful.I talked to him Wednesday and kinda mental health checked him and he played me; he talked to his lil brother Sunday (one of his last phone convos) and was checked out on Monday dude had been planning this based on some of the things he left behind.
Just venting since Mrs diggler snoring her ass off and not trying to come out of her itchy ass “I’m cold” pajamas

 

[parisian]

sorry for your loss

 

[bxclark]

Crazy, I am just seeing this but sorry for your loss brother. I have some of the same concerns about the "I'm fine/cool" with mine. Definitely appreciate the reminder to go beyond that. Hope you are able to find the strength and peace you need during this tough time. Feel free to share/vent.. get that shit out. Much love to you bro.

 

[Gods_Debris]

There isn't a reaction emoji to convey my heartfelt condolences and honestly such a quipped reaction would seem trite and diarespectful so instead I'll say, peace be unto you during this trying season fam.

 

[RoomService]

I don’t have the strength to share what I’m dealing with right now, but I feel your pain, man, and I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Texas Catdaddy]

Appreciate it mayne going thru the motions shit heavy like a Scarface playlist
Yeah I know y’all ain’t shit… that’s the appeal!

my nukka .....

 

[Texas Catdaddy]

we gotcha bruh .....

 

[REDLINE]

Appreciate the words and insight. The bolded is part of the betrayal for me.
He was talking to people but wasn’t being truthful.I talked to him Wednesday and kinda mental health checked him and he played me; he talked to his lil brother Sunday (one of his last phone convos) and was checked out on Monday dude had been planning this based on some of the things he left behind.
Just venting since Mrs diggler snoring her ass off and not trying to come out of her itchy ass “I’m cold” pajamas

"Mrs Diggler"!

Unfortunately it sounds like he made his decision and didn't want to talk to you to talk him out of it. I can only imagine how he was feeling, however it was I know that it was bad.

You going through his stuff definitely gave you a better understanding of who he was and what he was doing, dealing with or going through. Whether good or bad, sometimes it's best not to know but now you know.

I'm honestly just heartbroken for you.