Ladies, Whats your view on marriage thes days

[blackmouth]

What ever happened to functional marriages? What are your goals in getting married? I want a husband who is a good provider, who can give me kids, and who I find attractive and has good conversation and kindness. Anything else can be worked on. I would never want to be single my entire life and I would never want to be childless

i NEVER thought i'd EVER read ANY woman say these things on THIS board.

much respect because at least the man in your life KNOWS what you want and what you expect.

I wanna get married one day but only when I know its gonna work.

how in THE world will you know it's gonna work. read above: people change AFTER they're married.

 

[BiggBuddy]

This is so true!!!!!

 

[MzKittyDelicious]

I believe in marriage. I believe in making a commitment before God. What I am tired of is people who have made the wrong choices in picking a mate telling people such as myself who have never been married that it is the wrost possible thing to do. I am 29 and haven't found the "right one"...

 

[Shadow]

I believe in marriage. I believe in making a commitment before God. What I am tired of is people who have made the wrong choices in picking a mate telling people such as myself who have never been married that it is the wrost possible thing to do. I am 29 and haven't found the "right one"...

Good luck on that one.

 

[Izayoi]

Good luck on that one.

So skeptical Shadow.

Conflicted feelings about the marriage institution.
Having been almost married- I still have respect and hope!...but non standard commitment is not really a problem for me. My parents were not married so I never had a dream of weddings and such. We were still a family and since I grew up with BOTH my parents it didn't seem strange. I enjoy being in a committed relationship (knowing at least one person got your back and having a regular Saturday night date). I'm going to adopt a baby either way so no I wouldn't get married solely to be a mommy.

 

[tripleds3]

CO-SIGN!!! My man and I talk about this all the time. I would love to be married, but I can wait to be married. Some women are in such a rush that they do let all the excitement and attention get to them. I am not that type of woman. I know that when I get married it's gonna be forever, at least I hope. My man and I have a great relationship. We started out as BUDDIES. During that time we learned a lot about one another. Particularly, we both know one another's sneaky side. We share everything our dreams, goals and fantasies. We are very very sexually compatable. But most of all we enjoy one another's company. Most marriages end because of money or infidelity. I am in love with my man. If he wants to go out and get him a piece every now and again I ain't gonna trip. Why? Because he is in love with me. The key thing to remember is, the other woman is not wifey, just a fantasy or a itch that needs to be scratched. My man is my friend, my advisor, my boy, he is brilliant and I am in love with his mind, his heart, his personality...the dick is just a plus... a BIG PLUS!!! When considering marriage one must ask themself, "Can I live with this person after the marriage, after he has just did something stupid, after he has pissed me the fuck off, even when I can stand his arrogant ass, even when he gets on my fuckin nerves? Will I still love him and know that I can't see my life without him? I can't fathom life without my man, my lover, my friend, my man who understands me loves me regardless of what I've done. He is the ONLY man who knows me COMPLETELY... So yes, I can deal with an open marriage because I am secure in knowing that my man may slip up every now and again but I'm wifey.

Marriage is more about living together than fucking together.It's about sharing similar goals for the home, children, savings and things like that.

Too many wives and husbands let their significant others get away with cheating on unfair terms because they didn't want to fuck up things for the children or the marriage. I say, why not be open from the start? yes I WILL cheat. NO I won't do it without protection. NO, she won't mean anything to me aside from a one night breezy. YES, I will forgive you if you do the same so long as there's no second night.

I mean why threaten years of emotional, financial and familiar investment over who put their genitals where? We're not meant to be monogamous, at least not completely. All the same that doesn't mean we can't be respectful, discreet, and responsible adults. There's nothing, except childish immaturity, that makes us fall in love with whomever we just fucked.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

.the dick is just a plus... a BIG PLUS!!! .

 

[Shadow]

So skeptical Shadow.

Conflicted feelings about the marriage institution.
Having been almost married- I still have respect and hope!...but non standard commitment is not really a problem for me.

Iz, I told you we would get married next weekend when I come up. You don't have to go off on this tangent to show out for the board....

All this just so I will put that ring on your finger is uncalled for, wifey.

 

[Izayoi]

Iz, I told you we would get married next weekend when I come up. You don't have to go off on this tangent to show out for the board....

All this just so I will put that ring on your finger is uncalled for, wifey.

You silly!

 

[DaleMabry]

Well I personally said I'd like to be married, I'm just not sure if I can deal with infidelity. I saw how my father humiliated my mom and I just can't volunteer for that.

In my humble and very respectful opinion,

I believe the human mind and spirit are extremely powerful. If you sell yourself on the idea that any man you marry is gonna be a cheating fuck and/or doom you to the unhappiness you saw or suffered growing up...

...your mind and spirit will do what it can to fulfill the "request" you are making with such rock-solid belief.

Of course no one would volunteer for humiliation. But then I really in my heart don't believe that this is your own option or outcome.

Then again none of that matters if you don't share that belief. And I guess the only way to build that belief is through a whole string of small daily victories and positive outcomes.

One of the trickiest things about mating and marriage is our subconscious tendency to seek out the kind of people who have similiar issues--

I know mad stories about kids of alcoholics or abusers or cheaters who fall in love, get serious and only years later find out their mate saw the same effed up stuff (and maybe even repeat the same stuff) that they themselves saw coming up.

Something inside of us often flags those people even when we aren't "aware" and draws us closer to them.

Which means we have to work through those and be with people equally committed to doing so or else history can repeat itself.

 

[tp2001]

We started out as BUDDIES. During that time we learned a lot about one another. Particularly, we both know one another's sneaky side. We share everything our dreams, goals and fantasies. We are very very sexually compatable. But most of all we enjoy one another's company. Most marriages end because of money or infidelity. I am in love with my man.

Props for going about it that way b/c some relationships end because one party gets surprised of the other's actions. At least y'all took the time to know each other before going to the next step...

As long as the couple can work together to obtain a common goal (raised economic status, have a family, something positive) then they're good...No relationship can work if there's a clash in where they want to go in their lives...

 

[Izayoi]

In my humble and very respectful opinion,

I believe the human mind and spirit are extremely powerful. If you sell yourself on the idea that any man you marry is gonna be a cheating fuck and/or doom you to the unhappiness you saw or suffered growing up...

...your mind and spirit will do what it can to fulfill the "request" you are making with such rock-solid belief.

Of course no one would volunteer for humiliation. But then I really in my heart don't believe that this is your own option or outcome.

Then again none of that matters if you don't share that belief. And I guess the only way to build that belief is through a whole string of small daily victories and positive outcomes.

One of the trickiest things about mating and marriage is our subconscious tendency to seek out the kind of people who have similiar issues--

I know mad stories about kids of alcoholics or abusers or cheaters who fall in love, get serious and only years later find out their mate saw the same effed up stuff (and maybe even repeat the same stuff) that they themselves saw coming up.

Something inside of us often flags those people even when we aren't "aware" and draws us closer to them.

Which means we have to work through those and be with people equally committed to doing so or else history can repeat itself.

Wow. Insightful and so very true.
The wisdom makes me wanna