Ladies, Whats your view on marriage thes days

[Dannyblueyes]

Well there are lots of couples living together and alot of men aren't going to get married if living together suits them just fine.

Well of course not!! There is no logical reason that any man would sign a contract that would give a woman automatic control over half his property and a
good portion of his future earnings. If a woman can convince him by means of church, tradition, family, he might submit. Or, if more importantly, SHE PROVES THROUGH HER THOUGHTS WORDS AND ACTIONS THAT SHE IS WORTH TAKING THAT KIND OF A RISK AND THEN SOME.

 

[bigirl]

have you considered an open marriage?

ah well this is more what I am about as it is honest. I hate lying and liars. problem is most men i have run accross want to know that the woman is sitting hom waiting for them while they out fucking anything that moves so they would rather make a monogamous "commitment" and then lie and cheat

every time I have brought this subject up(not for marriage but for relationship) I have been met by massive outrage and protest from the man.

 

[sexylegz33]

well this is exactly my dilemma. i am even unwilling to make a monogamous comittment.

This is also my issue. I always had so much faith in love and being committed. Got burned once too many times and am not willing to put myself in that position again. I would love to spend my life with the right person, but I'm not sure the right person will ever exist. I guess I still want to believe in marraige, I believe it can work between the right two people. Unfortunately, most people get married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

ah well this is more what I am about as it is honest. I hate lying and liars. problem is most men i have run accross want to know that the woman is sitting hom waiting for them while they out fucking anything that moves so they would rather make a monogamous "commitment" and then lie and cheat

every time I have brought this subject up(not for marriage but for relationship) I have been met by massive outrage and protest from the man.

So what would you rather have then. A man who cheats but denies everything to the point that you aren't ever sure or a man that says "honey I was wrong" every so often and means it every time?

Everyone wants a partner they can set their watch to, but you know like I know that isn't reasonable. Men and women have too many options to be biblically monogamous for good so what do you want to buy, the flaw or the fairytale?

 

[femmenoire]

Well of course not!! There is no logical reason that any man would sign a contract that would give a woman automatic control over half his property and a
good portion of his future earnings. If a woman can convince him by means of church, tradition, family, he might submit. Or, if more importantly, SHE PROVES THROUGH HER THOUGHTS WORDS AND ACTIONS THAT SHE IS WORTH TAKING THAT KIND OF A RISK AND THEN SOME.

So then there is no point. Men want to be absolved of any responsibility and they want the choice to stick their dick in whomever they want to. Why get married?

 

[femmenoire]

ah well this is more what I am about as it is honest. I hate lying and liars. problem is most men i have run accross want to know that the woman is sitting hom waiting for them while they out fucking anything that moves so they would rather make a monogamous "commitment" and then lie and cheat

every time I have brought this subject up(not for marriage but for relationship) I have been met by massive outrage and protest from the man.

Yeah I don't think a lot of men would go for an open marriage.

 

[bigirl]

So what would you rather have then. A man who cheats but denies everything to the point that you aren't ever sure or a man that says "honey I was wrong" every so often and means it every time?

Everyone wants a partner they can set their watch to, but you know like I know that isn't reasonable. Men and women have too many options to be biblically monogamous for good so what do you want to buy, the flaw or the fairytale?

If we never made a monogomous agreement married or not then nobody did anything wrong. The point is most men want their cake and eat it too. They want to do their dirt but not let the woman get hers. If I ever run accross a man that overstands what the fuck I am talking about then I will consider it.

 

[APOPHIS]

Ladies, I like all y'all and think most of you are very insightful, but please lose the "all men are cheaters mentality."

You're doin' more harm to yourselves than you realize.
You are setting yourselves up for a life of loneliness and solidarity.

ALSO, a Pet can never replace the love, attention, and spirituality a partner can bring you. Please do not become another Black women statistic.

 

[femmenoire]

Ladies, I like all y'all and think most of you are very insightful, but please lose the "all men are cheaters mentality."

You're doin' more harm to yourselves than you realize.
You are setting yourselves up for a life of loneliness and solidarity.

ALSO, a Pet can never replace the love, attention, and spirituality a partner can bring you. Please do not become another Black women statistic.

Well some of these men are agreeing with us. They think it's ok to be in a marriage and have a "breezy" on the side because they know they aren't going to just be with one woman if they are married.

Sounds to me like they are suggesting that women should accept it and embrace it to have a successful union, if we want that union.

 

[APOPHIS]

Well some of these men are agreeing with us. They think it's ok to be in a marriage and have a "breezy" on the side because they know they aren't going to just be with one woman if they are married.

Sounds to me like they are suggesting that women should accept it and embrace it to have a successful union, if we want that union.

Femme, the minority does not represent the majority.
Please remember that there are tens of thousands of good decent brothas waiting for a good sista to come along and settle down with (me being one of them).

Do some men cheat? Yes, they do.
Do all men cheat? No, they don't.

Although I look down on cheating and think it's wrong, most of the problem can easily be traced back to lack of communication. If a female is not making herself available for her mate, then most of the time he will seek that attention elsewhere. The same thing will happen if a man does not give his women the attention she needs.

And, if you're a good woman who is extremely attentive, faithful, and loving to your mate and he cheats, then by alls means do what you must to relieve yourself of the pain and move on by whatever means needed.

P.S. You're on a porno board so of course you gonna get dumb ass answers.
All the pussy pics have got their mindset all disarrayed.

 

[TRUFICTION]

Well some of these men are agreeing with us. They think it's ok to be in a marriage and have a "breezy" on the side because they know they aren't going to just be with one woman if they are married.

Sounds to me like they are suggesting that women should accept it and embrace it to have a successful union, if we want that union.

THE FUNNY THING IS
YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE MEN WHO AGREED TO THE POSSIBILITY HAVE ALSO SAID IT GOES BOTH WAYS....
ALTHOUGH ITS NOT FOR EVERYBODY
STOP WITH THE MAN BASHING.
WOMEN ARE JUST A CAPABLE OF THE SAME BEHAVIOR
AND IT IS A KNOWN FACT.

YALL IN HERE WITH ALL THE
"MEN WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO" TALK.
WHILE YOU ARE BEING TYPICAL,
THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN THAT WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT
SO STOP ALL THE STEREOTYPING.
WE CAN ALL FIND EXCUSES TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT IF THATS WHAT WE CHOOSE.

 

[TRUFICTION]

Femme, the minority does not represent the majority.
Please remember that there are tens of thousands of good decent brothas waiting for a good sista to come along and settle down with (me being one of them).

Do some men cheat? Yes, they do.
Do all men cheat? No, they don't.

Although I look down on cheating and think it's wrong, most of the problem can easily be traced back to lack of communication. If a female is not making herself available for her mate, then most of the time he will seek that attention elsewhere. The same thing will happen if a man does not give his women the attention she needs.

And, if you're a good woman who is extremely attentive, faithful, and loving to your mate and he cheats, then by alls means do what you must to relieve yourself of the pain and move on by whatever means needed.

P.S. You're on a porno board so of course you gonna get dumb ass answers.
All the pussy pics have got their mindset all disarrayed.

NONE OF THE ABOVE BOLDED STATEMENTS ARE NECESSARILY TRUE.

 

[femmenoire]

THE FUNNY THING IS
YOU FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE MEN WHO AGREED TO THE POSSIBILITY HAVE ALSO SAID IT GOES BOTH WAYS....
ALTHOUGH ITS NOT FOR EVERYBODY
STOP WITH THE MAN BASHING.
WOMEN ARE JUST A CAPABLE OF THE SAME BEHAVIOR
AND IT IS A KNOWN FACT.

YALL IN HERE WITH ALL THE
"MEN WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO" TALK.
WHILE YOU ARE BEING TYPICAL,
THERE ARE PLENTY OF MEN THAT WOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT
SO STOP ALL THE STEREOTYPING.
WE CAN ALL FIND EXCUSES TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT IF THATS WHAT WE CHOOSE.

Of course women are just as capable. But this isn't BGOL. The OP was asking the WOMEN of the board what our take was on marriage.

 

[AlexandMorgan]

Of course women are just as capable. But this isn't BGOL. The OP was asking the WOMEN of the board what our take was on marriage.

And men as well i remember huim asking in his question.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

If we never made a monogomous agreement married or not then nobody did anything wrong. The point is most men want their cake and eat it too. They want to do their dirt but not let the woman get hers. If I ever run accross a man that overstands what the fuck I am talking about then I will consider it.

Keeping in mind that marriage is completely against most men's self interest. What kind of men would still want to get married? If his motivation has to do with church, family, money, or tradition FUCK M. that more a situation of trends or position than anything else. His mother wants to see him married? What happens when she chokes on a sandwich?

I would never marry another woman unless she truly felt that the whole dating game was a pile of bullshit that she was finished with once and for all and felt that being with me was better throwing herself back on the meat market and chasing the next hustler with a decent haircut.

Of course being that options means keeping yourself on point. Keeping doing those push ups, keep seeking that new promotion, keep that low carb diet going, make sure that she still wants you. Of course if she don't you got to keep yourself on point for the next woman.

 

[TRUFICTION]

Of course women are just as capable. But this isn't BGOL. The OP was asking the WOMEN of the board what our take was on marriage.

Aight...taking a chance to post (noob), but I wanted to see how women feel about marriage.....Is this something you look forward to? Any and all insight would be appreciated, and this is not simply regulated to just women, fellas you are more than welcome to imput your opinions...

I SEE YOU ARE CHOOSING TO BE SELECTIVE
ITS COOL THOUGH....TYPICAL

 

[APOPHIS]

NONE OF THE ABOVE BOLDED STATEMENTS ARE NECESSARILY TRUE.

Your experience far outweighs mines, so I'll give you the winning argumentative.
You're married, I'm not.

Ladies, although I may not be biblically religious, the bible does a great job conveying a woman's incompleteness in this world w/o a man to make her whole.

A woman NEEDS a male partner for security, knowledge, and the seed of life.
What a man partner provides you with is irreplaceable. Do not lie to yourselves and say that you do not mind having a man, or you do not wish to be married. As a woman, you subconsciously crave for those things spiritually, physically and mentally and on natural level.

 

[UnoBetter2]

The problems that existed years ago with marriage simply are no big deal today. For one to get a divorce was taboo and divorced people were treated like lepers. Today divorce has become acceptable and almost expected by many before the "I Do's" are even uttered. Secondly the process for getting a divorce has become as easy as getting married. I mean theres web sites that walk you through the process quickly and painlessly!!

For me, one who's been married over 20 years and virtually been through it all. I will say that if I had it all to do again I would do things differently. Would I get married? Yes. Would I have married the same woman I am married to now? Yes. But, what I probably would have done differently is that I would have waited a little longer and experienced more and in turn allowed her to experience more. Not that its been horrible but, I just think that the commitment of getting married is a life time commitment and should be done by someone who is clear about what they want and don't want in a relationship. Would having other experiences pulled us futher apart or pushed us closer together? Who's to say, I'm not sure. But what I can say is this..........

To be married is like Love you do it without expectations always feeling obligated to make sure the one whom your married to is satisfied. Although this only works if both parties in the relationship are doing the same. This way I never want for nothing because giving is more important than getting. It's akin to filling a glass full of water and pouring it out. I'm always pouring into you out of my glass because you're always filling me out of yours. This way we are never empty only full-filled. Thats what marriage is, it's giving not getting. So if you do it for what you can get then your doing it for the wrong reasons. The only reason for marrige is that you love and cherish that person so much until your willing to give your life for them if you have to and thats marriage.

 

[femmenoire]

I SEE YOU ARE CHOOSING TO BE SELECTIVE
ITS COOL THOUGH....TYPICAL

I simply misread the post.

 

[Chicutie]

If you have it in your head and in your belief system that your husband will cheat then the likelihood of that happening will be high. If one goes into marriage knowing that its the right thing for both parties and not allowing our mind to let us worry about the what ifs and the what may be's then there is no reason why it shouldn't work.

I totally agree with this statement however from all the people that I know that are married it seems that sooner or later cheating is going to happen. I can not name one married couple that I know, including within my own family, that one person has not cheated on the other (whether it be male or female). I know marriage is long way from where I am right now. I know that have a lot of personal growth to do before I could even get there, but I am wondering if marriage even be worth my time. It seems like today people don't value those vows. . . or maybe people never did and it is just more out in the open in society today. When I think of marriage, and all the sacrifices people I know have made for it, I think maybe it isn't worth it. Part of me has settled on the fact that I might not ever get married.

 

[KTonic]

The problems that existed years ago with marriage simply are no big deal today. For one to get a divorce was taboo and divorced people were treated like lepers. Today divorce has become acceptable and almost expected by many before the "I Do's" are even uttered. Secondly the process for getting a divorce has become as easy as getting married. I mean theres web sites that walk you through the process quickly and painlessly!!

For me, one who's been married over 20 years and virtually been through it all. I will say that if I had it all to do again I would do things differently. Would I get married? Yes. Would I have married the same woman I am married to now? Yes. But, what I probably would have done differently is that I would have waited a little longer and experienced more and in turn allowed her to experience more. Not that its been horrible but, I just think that the commitment of getting married is a life time commitment and should be done by someone who is clear about what they want and don't want in a relationship. Would having other experiences pulled us futher apart or pushed us closer together? Who's to say, I'm not sure. But what I can say is this..........

To be married is like Love you do it without expectations always feeling obligated to make sure the one whom your married to is satisfied. Although this only works if both parties in the relationship are doing the same. This way I never want for nothing because giving is more important than getting. It's akin to filling a glass full of water and pouring it out. I'm always pouring into you out of my glass because you're always filling me out of yours. This way we are never empty only full-filled. Thats what marriage is, it's giving not getting. So if you do it for what you can get then your doing it for the wrong reasons. The only reason for marrige is that you love and cherish that person so much until your willing to give your life for them if you have to and thats marriage.

Good insight Uno I appreciate the way you put the glass analogy...I would also like to say that marriage is many ebbs and flows, cycles, you have your ups and downs...just like any relationship. However, ladies just to let you know (not like you don't know) men think just like you, articulation is the difference. If you look at your wants and needs in a relationship and ask a truthful man, he will agree that those are similar to his wants and needs, slight differences such as where we place sex/intimacy might differ compared to a woman's perspective. In my particular case....intimacy is important, I'm not in need of motherly love I have a mom, I dont need someone to be there with a ht cooked meal waiting on me, I can cook myself. I dont need a house keeper, I dislike a dirty house myself and know how to keep a house. I do fine by myself, what I seek in my significant other is companionship...I married my best friend...just sometimes I feel she forgets my friendship comes with benefits (at least thats what I think) I guess my next question is being formulated, Im sure it hs been asked but Imma ask it anyway!!!

 

[ladyscorpio]

The problems that existed years ago with marriage simply are no big deal today. For one to get a divorce was taboo and divorced people were treated like lepers. Today divorce has become acceptable and almost expected by many before the "I Do's" are even uttered. Secondly the process for getting a divorce has become as easy as getting married. I mean theres web sites that walk you through the process quickly and painlessly!!

For me, one who's been married over 20 years and virtually been through it all. I will say that if I had it all to do again I would do things differently. Would I get married? Yes. Would I have married the same woman I am married to now? Yes. But, what I probably would have done differently is that I would have waited a little longer and experienced more and in turn allowed her to experience more. Not that its been horrible but, I just think that the commitment of getting married is a life time commitment and should be done by someone who is clear about what they want and don't want in a relationship. Would having other experiences pulled us futher apart or pushed us closer together? Who's to say, I'm not sure. But what I can say is this..........

To be married is like Love you do it without expectations always feeling obligated to make sure the one whom your married to is satisfied. Although this only works if both parties in the relationship are doing the same. This way I never want for nothing because giving is more important than getting. It's akin to filling a glass full of water and pouring it out. I'm always pouring into you out of my glass because you're always filling me out of yours. This way we are never empty only full-filled. Thats what marriage is, it's giving not getting. So if you do it for what you can get then your doing it for the wrong reasons. The only reason for marrige is that you love and cherish that person so much until your willing to give your life for them if you have to and thats marriage.

This is what I perceived marriage to be. Giving of yourself without that expectation of "getting" something in return. Unconditionally loving and respecting one's partner. Sharing life together. Acceptance.

I totally agree with this statement however from all the people that I know that are married it seems that sooner or later cheating is going to happen. I can not name one married couple that I know, including within my own family, that one person has not cheated on the other (whether it be male or female). I know marriage is long way from where I am right now. I know that have a lot of personal growth to do before I could even get there, but I am wondering if marriage even be worth my time. It seems like today people don't value those vows. . . or maybe people never did and it is just more out in the open in society today. When I think of marriage, and all the sacrifices people I know have made for it, I think maybe it isn't worth it. Part of me has settled on the fact that I might not ever get married.

If the expectation is there that they will cheat its gonna happen. I think society has made a joke of the marriage institution. People jump in and out of it like it were a new car, put some mileage on it and after a few years figure ohhh the lease is up time for a new one. The world has become a fast paced drive-thru everything must happen yesterday. Its seems that some don't want to take the time needed to work at something that needs it.
When you build that foundation with the person you love sacrifice is inevitable. One MUST be willing to put in the work, time and effort into it.

We need to return to the basics. Why can't a relationship move forward with marriage as a part of the equation? Should we not allow ourselves to look at marriage more positively instead of allowing our perceptions to be marred by the percentages of divorces that occur in society. If we did that then no one would get married any more.

 

[femmenoire]

Your experience far outweighs mines, so I'll give you the winning argumentative.
You're married, I'm not.

Ladies, although I may not be biblically religious, the bible does a great job conveying a woman's incompleteness in this world w/o a man to make her whole.

A woman NEEDS a male partner for security, knowledge, and the seed of life.
What a man partner provides you with is irreplaceable. Do not lie to yourselves and say that you do not mind having a man, or you do not wish to be married. As a woman, you subconsciously crave for those things spiritually, physically and mentally and on natural level.

Well I personally said I'd like to be married, I'm just not sure if I can deal with infidelity. I saw how my father humiliated my mom and I just can't volunteer for that.

 

[sexynbi976]

Marraige can be potentially a beautiful thing if it is done for the right reasons but there is a reason why people say only fools rush in.

If people took the time to read the vows properly before they tied the knot and know within themselves that these are what i honestly feel for my partner (love, chersih and to honor..... in sickness and in health) maybe more marraiges would last.

Swearing before God aint something to be done lightly but too many people do it these days but to each their own. You should marry only if IMO you love, trust, respect and want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and you both can communicate easily with each other.

Love needs work to keep it going and if both of you are not willing to put in the elbow grease then it can not last.

Co-sign...

I'm divorced but I would definitely get married again. I have to admit when I was married I didn't take it as serious as I should have...actually neither one of us did. You live and you learn from your mistakes.

 

[Pussy Krook]

To those who are married why do people say a marriage takes a lot of hard work? Am I naive to think that a marriage SHOULDN'T be hard work?

 

[max-dawg]

Marriage can be a very satisfying life choice, but the hard part is finding the right person. You need someone who views life and all it's challenges similarly to the way you do. There will always be someone better looking than your spouse. There will always be someone more financially sound than your spouse. There will always be someone who finds you more attractive simply because you have a spouse. Marriage is like a glass house. You will always have someone trying to break the windows to get in. The key is to use your commitment to one another as a form of bullet proof glass so that even the most persistent mutha fucka can't get in.

men KNOW that the mistake of marrying the wrong woman can cost them half of their material possessions, etc. in the materialistic america we live in, this is a HUUUGE part of why soooo many men choose to stay single nowadays.

we know that saying, "i do," to the wrong woman can set us back financially for a very long time. and like my father says:

"sometimes, you have to actually marry the person to find out if they are worth marrying... cause people change in marriages-for the good & the bad."

All I see everywhere is cheating married people and divorced people so I really don't believe in it.

bigirl, i have to agree with you 100000% on this one. just about all of my male friends cheat on their wives, and about half of my female friends cheat on their husbands-usually with other married men.

and divorce & disease are real talk. i don't know why folks believe that a wedding band makes them "safe."

Alex you are by far one of the most intelligent persons I have seen post on this site. Respect bredren.
I completely agree with the statements made above. One needs to know themselves first and foremost before making that commitment as well. Love is worthwhile when one works at keeping it within.
Marriage should never be taken lightly and should never be something one goes into to fulfill "childhood" fantasies which I feel is why some people do it. I for one would only ever enter into it knowing that this was it. For myself it would be no turning "back" forward only. Forever IS a long time.

hmmm oh dear

LOL baby girl you know am only teasing....

uh, you WERE married to me and you dumped me. you might believe in marriage, but i know damn well you believe in e-divorce.

*max starts begging/singing: "darling, you are my starship... come take me up tonight... and don't be late.... and don't you come too soon."

I think marriage is a freaking a joke. If it weren't for religion, most people would not get married. People are deprograming themselves and have adopted thier own beliefs on what is important to them in this lifetime. I ain't knocking anyone for wanting to spend their life with one individual(Thats a beautiful thing), but it should'nt take marriage to solidy a relationship. I doubt back in the day of Christ that anyone had to sign a marriage certificate so the hell with the courts. Mofos weren't suing each other or trying to get alimony. One big joke.

unfortunately, i know a lot of women who SERIOUSLY consider marriage a financial come-up ONLY. that's why i'm still single as hell.

I just think that if I get married, I have to be willing to accept that my husband will step out on the marriage.

I don't know if I can be one of those women that will look the other way and live with it.

I mean my mom did. I know lots of women that do. I just don't know if I can.

Why get married then?

If both of you are going to step out. It's just a regular relationship.

if you feel that way, why do women expect men to be faithful if 'it's just a relationship?' why should we expect y'all to be faithful?

and THAT is the impetus to get married i guess... the promise NOT to cheat.

 

[KTonic]

To those who are married why do people say a marriage takes a lot of hard work? Am I naive to think that a marriage SHOULDN'T be hard work?

Being married...and been through the trials, marriage in our thoughts should be easy, thats the way most go into it. We think, well I married my bestfriend, lover, etc. We've been through times and trials, we've seen each other at the lowest point up to that juncture.....BUT....FOREVER i the thing, and unfortunatly Humans are cretures of change...we dont stay the same....let me see....how to explain it......I don't speak for all, just my perspective and this is subjective.....first off, ho well can yo really know someone...shoot...you don't even know yourself well enough, and if you look at self you will realize your capable of many wanderous and horrible things. what you find cute today with your witty might be hella annoying 4 years later because you think to yourself thats so immature...like how when you were dating as a teen and dressing alike was cute,well not so much as adults...lol, things change. Look at all relationships....tha all chang ad go through ebbs and flows...and it takes work to stay the course in a manogomus relationship. As a man you become more attractive being in a relationship, so I am told, because women see themselvs in the place of that "lucky ass woman" who he gives his all too......man so many angles to address....simply put your basically defying normal/ societal logic based on the power of God that your union will stand as long as he's apart of the union, Its the Glory of God being shown in the union of two humans (creatures of change) and staying committed. Think about it when you see/hear about a couple being together 30+ years and still going strong people are amazed....again showing Gods Glory....sorry about the preachyness. Best way to know about Marrige is to ask specifics on what you want to know and find someone that will be really real with you! I think!

 

[UnoBetter2]

Well I personally said I'd like to be married, I'm just not sure if I can deal with infidelity. I saw how my father humiliated my mom and I just can't volunteer for that.

Do you feel like you would be volunteering for infidelity if you got married? To be honest infidelity doesn't just happen it takes time, took me 19 years. It also depends on the conditions at home and the mentality of the individual. Like I said, I been at this a long time and I haven't been no angel but, what I can tell you is that when I did step out it was because things weren't right at home. Was I right in doing what I did? Hell naw!! But, was she right in not fulfilling my needs? No she wasn't! I was running on empty yet trying to keep her full. Listen if your giving and your partner steps out then calling it quits is in order but, if your not doing what your suppose to be doin for your mate then anything can happen and will. Like I said I fill you and in turn you fill me. If I ever get empty then its your fault and you know as well as I do that where theres a need someone will be obliged to fulfill that need. Be it right or wrong, and for all the wrong reasons, it will happen.

Also, is taking the risk worth it? For me and mine, yes! I'm a better man because of the relationship I have with my wife. But to not take the risk is to never know and.......for me.....to never know is to never live but, to only wonder what could have been.

 

[Chicutie]

If the expectation is there that they will cheat its gonna happen. I think society has made a joke of the marriage institution. People jump in and out of it like it were a new car, put some mileage on it and after a few years figure ohhh the lease is up time for a new one. The world has become a fast paced drive-thru everything must happen yesterday. Its seems that some don't want to take the time needed to work at something that needs it.
When you build that foundation with the person you love sacrifice is inevitable. One MUST be willing to put in the work, time and effort into it.

We need to return to the basics. Why can't a relationship move forward with marriage as a part of the equation? Should we not allow ourselves to look at marriage more positively instead of allowing our perceptions to be marred by the percentages of divorces that occur in society. If we did that then no one would get married any more.

I think this is so true. Not only do people cheat but they are ready to divorce their partner so quickly. There is a member of my family that is getting married for the 5th time in March, when is enough. . enough? If you are getting married for the 5th time honestly how sacred could those vows be?

 

[HoneyBerry]

What ever happened to functional marriages? What are your goals in getting married? I want a husband who is a good provider, who can give me kids, and who I find attractive and has good conversation and kindness. Anything else can be worked on. I would never want to be single my entire life and I would never want to be childless

 

[t0k3]

What ever happened to functional marriages? What are your goals in getting married? I want a husband who is a good provider, who can give me kids, and who I find attractive and has good conversation and kindness. Anything else can be worked on. I would never want to be single my entire life and I would never want to be childless

You ask a good question.
Tradition and convention have been tossed aside for convenience and preference.
60 years ago,a husband who was a good provider and baby maker was enough for most.

Ever since the late 60's we have been living in an era of decadence.
Most relationships these days do not last because expectations are too high and the existence of morality is almost nil.

People might call me old fashioned but a quote from the movie "No Country For Old Men" that Tommy Lee Jones said comes to mind.
When he was talking to the sheriff from El Paso about how the world has gone to shit he said something like "The world went to shit when people stopped saying sir and ma'am".

I'm convinced that economics are a big factor in how relationships/marriages work these days and also effects general respect for our fellow man/woman.
There was once was a time when the average middle class family with only the man working could provide for his wife and children,put his kids through college and still have enough left over for the annual family trip.

The absence of morals,respect,tradition and values influence most to get married for all the wrong reasons but these are the signs of the times.

 

[Pussy Krook]

Being married...and been through the trials, marriage in our thoughts should be easy, thats the way most go into it. We think, well I married my bestfriend, lover, etc. We've been through times and trials, we've seen each other at the lowest point up to that juncture.....BUT....FOREVER i the thing, and unfortunatly Humans are cretures of change...we dont stay the same....let me see....how to explain it......I don't speak for all, just my perspective and this is subjective.....first off, ho well can yo really know someone...shoot...you don't even know yourself well enough, and if you look at self you will realize your capable of many wanderous and horrible things. what you find cute today with your witty might be hella annoying 4 years later because you think to yourself thats so immature...like how when you were dating as a teen and dressing alike was cute,well not so much as adults...lol, things change. Look at all relationships....tha all chang ad go through ebbs and flows...and it takes work to stay the course in a manogomus relationship. As a man you become more attractive being in a relationship, so I am told, because women see themselvs in the place of that "lucky ass woman" who he gives his all too......man so many angles to address....simply put your basically defying normal/ societal logic based on the power of God that your union will stand as long as he's apart of the union, Its the Glory of God being shown in the union of two humans (creatures of change) and staying committed. Think about it when you see/hear about a couple being together 30+ years and still going strong people are amazed....again showing Gods Glory....sorry about the preachyness. Best way to know about Marrige is to ask specifics on what you want to know and find someone that will be really real with you! I think!

Thanks for your answer KTonic. I know there will be change and compromise in marriage like there is in regular relationships but people make it seem a marriage is harder to maintain. Different people have different perspectives on the matter. I had this discussion with a lady friend of mine who has not been married either and she agreed with me marriage is work just like any relationship but it is gratifying work not a menial task that eventually wears you down. An acquaintance of mine at work who has been married 5 years said the only thing he has to work at is not fucking other women. He said thats the hardest part about it everything else is easy. I just don't think marriage should be a stressful situation that some people make it seem to be. Forever is a long time and you should consider that before taking that step with someone. I think as long as there is honesty and trust you can prevail over anything. I don't think things like money and physical appearance are what ends marriages I think it is lack of honesty and trust. As long as you have that with your partner I don't see how getting through any situation would be that hard.

 

[Urban-Cycle]

I know that I want to get married but I am worried about finding a good man. I am 27 years old, no kids and a Masters student. I also work full time.

So many people, young and old, ask me why I dont have any kids yets. It gets on my nerves so much and sometimes it influences me that I need to have kids soon because I am getting too old.

But now when people ask me why I dont have kids yet, I tell me to ask me where my good man is....

 

[HoneyDip]

I wanna get married one day but only when I know its gonna work.

 

[MTL]

I just think that if I get married, I have to be willing to accept that my husband will step out on the marriage.

I don't know if I can be one of those women that will look the other way and live with it.

I mean my mom did. I know lots of women that do. I just don't know if I can.

I understand perfectly and have the same fears after my last time. I am not one of those women who will look the other way. Hate in my heart every day? No i like a stress/drama free life.