***Hilariously Uncomfortable Movie Plot Summaries***

[komobb]

http://www.postmodernbarney.com/2009/04/uncomfortable-plot-summaries/


Samples:


300: Gays kill blacks.

8 MILE: White man successfully coopts black culture to impress other whites.

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.

BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.

BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.

DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.

DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.

FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.

IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.

JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.

JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.

KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.

PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.

RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.

ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.

ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.

ROCKY: White man beats black man.

SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous

SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.

SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.

SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.

TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.

THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.

TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.

WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.

WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.

 

[therealjondoe]

 

[YH Dafirm Diplomat]

holy shit....where's bambi on this list

 

[Nobody]

funny shit

 

[World B Free]

ASSIST:



* 25TH HOUR: White New Yorkers commit crimes against both law and ethics; feel bad for being caught, rather than for doing it at all.
* 300: Gays kill blacks.
* 8 MILE: White man successfully coopts black culture to impress other whites.
* A CIVIL ACTION: Underqualified lawyer doesn’t listen to clients, royally botches case.
* A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES: Social deviants make life difficult for genius.
* A CRY IN THE DARK: Dogs eat baby, confusion follows.
* ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
* ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
* AMADEUS: Man with health problems receives help from rival.
* AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON: Tourist causes riot.
* ATLAS SHRUGGED: Selfish industrialist destroys economy.
* AUNTIE MAME: Spinster exposes child to sexual fetishists, socialists; thwarts marriage to good Republican girl.
* BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
* BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
* BENJI: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
* BEOWULF: Colonists hire assassin to drive natives from land.
* BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
* BILLY ELLIOT: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
* BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
* BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
* BLAKE’S 7: Terrorists fight government, die.
* BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.
* BOTTLE ROCKET: Mentally unstable man fosters friend’s descent into mental instability, finds love.
* BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S: Pretty redneck girl fools socialites, flirts with gay gigolo.
* BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
* BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.
* CHANGE OF HABIT: Rock star regrets not looking closer at contract with movie studio.
* CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
* CHASING AMY: Homosexuality proved to be passing fancy and sign of sexual deviance.
* CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
* CHINATOWN: Father desires closer relationship with his children.
* CHRISTMAS VACATION: Incestuous relatives teach family the meaning of Christmas.
* CLERKS: Aimless loser remains in dead-end job, abusive “friendship.”
* CLOAK AND DAGGER: Spoiled teens discover drugs make them special.
* CONAN THE BARBARIAN: Petty thief murders religious leader.
* CORALINE: Misfit discovers she is special person in a secret world just beside our own.
* CRANK: Drug addict spends last day in orgy of rape and violence.
* CUJO: Family neglects to give family pet rabies shots, pays price.
* DAREDEVIL: Blind man pisses off crime boss, gets all his girl-friends killed.
* DARK KNIGHT RETURNS: Aging sadist corrupts, endangers minor, facilitates murder, destroys superhero comic books for 30 years.
* DEADWOOD: Pimp and rapist charms frontier town into eventual fire-based disaster.
* DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
* DEEP THROAT: Medical anomaly earns woman new friends.
* DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.
* DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
* DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
* DIRTY HARRY: Police incompetence allows murderer to go free.
* DOCTOR FAUSTUS: Scholar leans nuances of contract law.
* DOCTOR WHO: Elderly man serially abducts young women.
* DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
* DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
* E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
* EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE: Part-time mechanic involves girlfriend in illegal fight club, risks life of best friend and endangered primate.
* FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.
* FANTASTIC FOUR: Scientist exposes friends, family to dangerous radiation to assuage ego, becomes embroiled in rivalry with former room-mate.
* FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: Amoral narcissist makes world dance for his amusement.
* FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
* FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
* FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.
* FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.
* FREAKS: Acrobat learns value of community.
* SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
* GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
* GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
* GLENGARRY, GLENN ROSS: Sales job proves difficult for some.
* GONE WITH THE WIND: Rich, white slave owner enjoys getting raped, miscarries.
* GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
* GREEN ARROW: Rich white man with Robin Hood fetish goes vigilante.
* GREEN LANTERN: Policeman beats up his girlfriend.
* GREMLINS: Distant father ruins son’s life, puts entire town at risk.
* GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
* HACKERS: Cybercriminals on revenge kick destroy innumerable jobs.
* HAIR: Hippie dodges draft, dies ironically.
* HALLOWEEN: Babysitter’s relationship with murderer places children in danger.
* HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
* HE GOT GAME: Escaped convict attempts to embezzle only son.
* HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.
* IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
* WAR MACHINE: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man.
* IT: Children use horrific murders as excuse to run train on young girl.
* JFK: Family man wastes life for nothing in crusade against homosexuals.
* JUDGE DREDD: Fascist thug in bleak dystopia is cheered.
* JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
* JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
* KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
* KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
* KINDERGARTEN COP: Incompetent left in charge of children, who are eventually fired at by convicted felon.
* KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.
* KING OF KONG: Dick battles loser over trivia.
* LA CONFIDENTIAL: Rapist joins thug in foiling police corruption scheme.
* LABYRINTH: Girl is negligent baby-sitter.
* LARS AND THE REAL GIRL: Retarded man doesn’t know what sex toy is for.
* LASSIE COME HOME: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
* LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
* LONE WOLF MCQUADE: Alcoholic assaults local businessman, ruins marriage.
* LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
* LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.
* MARLEY AND ME: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
* METROPOLIS: Efficient society undone by unions.
* MICHAEL CLAYTON: Attorney works against client’s interests.
* MILK: Uppity queer dies.
* MIRRORMASK: Misfit discovers she is special person in secret world just beside our own.
* MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
* MULHOLLAND DRIVE: Lesbian relationship is harmful.
* MY GIRL: Boy killed by female friend’s irresponsibility.
* NEVERWHERE: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.
* O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.
* OBSERVE AND REPORT: Emotionally disturbed man gets woman drunk, rapes her.
* OCEAN’S ELEVEN: Gang of career criminals commit act of terror to facilitate robbery and romance.
* OF MICE AND MEN: Migrant farmer murders mentally handicapped friend.
* ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST: Disruptive mental patients treated.
* PILLOW TALK: Gay man tricks woman into sex.
* POLTERGEIST: Pot-head parents lose child, ruin property values.
* PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life.
* PRETTY BABY: Young woman’s modeling career encouraged.
* PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Woman with gold-digging mother nags wealthy man into marriage.
* PYGMALION: Urchin cured by social betters.
* RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
* RAISING ARIZONA: Convicted felon seduces police officer in kidnapping plot.
* RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
* RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
* RAVENOUS: Coward is seduced by cannibal, destroys army outpost.
* RED DAWN: Despite shock-and-awe tactics, a superior occupying force is no match for a tenacious sect of terrorist insurgents.
* RISKY BUSINESS: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.
* ROAD HOUSE: Bouncer becomes vigilante, murders local businessman with karate.
* ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
* ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.
* ROCKY: White man beats black man.
* ROSEMARY’S BABY: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
* RUDY: Diminutive athlete patronized.
* RUSHMORE: Teen molests teacher, is expelled. Finds love.
* SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.
* SCHINDLER’S LIST: Wealthy industrialist expands not-for-profit ventures.
* SCOTT PILGRIM: Emotionally immature musician sleeps with high-school girl.
* SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
* SHORT CIRCUIT: Rogue scientist steals top-secret government weapon.
* SIGNS: Jesus trumps science.
* SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Incompetent manipulated by several murderers, stumbles upon suspect completely by accident. Creates situation that allows serial killer to escape.
* SLEEPY HOLLOW: Veteran harassed.
* SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT: Redneck bootlegger makes mockery of law, sanctity of marriage.
* SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.
* SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one.
* SOUTHLAND TALES: Traumitized vet destroys universe.
* SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.
* STARDUST: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.
* STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
* STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE: Meglomaniac can’t let go of past glory, drives successor to suicide.
* STAR TREK III: Military officers steal vessel and destroy it to eliminate a handful of enemies while engaged on an extremely vague rescue mission.
* STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
* STAR TREK VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.
* STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
* STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
* STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.
* STRAW DOGS: Immigrant clashes with locals.
* SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
* SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
* SWEENEY TODD: Businesses flourish when freed from stringent regulation.
* TAXI DRIVER: Modern dating proves challenging for working class man.
* TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
* TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Tourists have difficulty with regional cuisine.
* THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE: College professors help illegal alien evade authorities.
* THE CONVERSATION: Paranoid schizophrenic follows worst possible career path.
* THE CRYING GAME: Hairdresser bonds with client.
* THE EDGE: Men bond in Alaskan wilderness.
* THE EXORCIST: Jesus trumps science.
* THE FIRM: White lawyer learns hard work is irrelevant.
* THE GOLDEN COMPASS: Critique of Catholicism upstaged by polar bear fight.
* THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Nameless drifter kills American soldier over stolen money, hangs friend.
* THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.
* THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY: Family abandons beloved pets, forcing them to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
* THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.
* THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
* THE OFFICE: Incompetent boss routinely endangers employees, passes fire-worthy blame, sexually harasses subordinates; is seen as “hero” compared to people who just actually work.
* THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
* THE PROFESSIONAL: Hired murderer sleeps with little girl.
* THE STEPFORD WIVES: Woman has difficulty adjusting to suburban life.
* THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3: Civil servant insults and shoots foreigners.
* THE THING: Unexpected visitor imposes on workers, their dogs.
* THE UNTOUCHABLES: Murderer indicted on technicality.
* THE WICKER MAN: Isolated religious community revitalized by newcomer.
* THE X-MEN: Minority group seeks overthrow of social order.
* THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Kidnapper commits murder several times.
* TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.
* TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.
* TORCHWOOD: Bisexual is inefficient manager.
* TRAINSPOTTING: Statutory rapist and junkie sifts through human waste, gets enormous sum of money.
* TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers.
* TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
* BREAKING DAWN: Native American guy is romantically obsessed with ex-girlfriend’s baby.
* TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: Father becomes more involved in teenage daughter’s life.
* V FOR VENDETTA: Dystopian government overthrown by faceless conformity.
* VERTIGO: Stalker drives woman to suicide.
* W.: Unspeakable disaster afflicts America. Then terrorists attack.
* WALL-E: Obsolete robot disrupts big business, disrupts lives of millions of innocent civilians.
* WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.
* WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
* WEEKEND AT BERNIES: Two employees take advantage of their boss’ hospitality.
* WONDER WOMAN: Princess from isolationist culture lectures Americans on equality.
* WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.

 

[FatboySimms]

 

[Dallas Bueller]

 

[mike123]

 

[NativeSon]

​

 

[Boobie_Clark]

ASSIST:




* CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.

* THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.

 

[thereason]

ASSIST:

* SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.

[/COLOR][/FONT]

 

[komobb]

Bump

 

[bogg]

DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.

 

[andusay]

good shit

 

[komobb]

It's funny cuz I never looked at the movie that way before, but I guess that's what it was about.

 

[Manbot26]

* CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.

* FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.

* IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
* WAR MACHINE: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man.
* JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
* LARS AND THE REAL GIRL: Retarded man doesn’t know what sex toy is for.
* OF MICE AND MEN: Migrant farmer murders mentally handicapped friend.
* ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.
* SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Incompetent manipulated by several murderers, stumbles upon suspect completely by accident.
Creates situation that allows serial killer to escape.

* THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.

* TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.

My favorites.

 

[YH Dafirm Diplomat]

LMAO @ fuckin a bum on titanic

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Passion of the Christ is my fave.

 

[Blunt]

Lame.

 

[Onpoint]

Lame.

Why so serious?

 

[Tinman]

 

[World B Free]

Why so serious?

Welcome to the WORLD ACCORDING TO BLUNT....THE RESIDENT CURMUDGEON

 

[TimRock]

 

[KLEPTO]

 

[truplutu]

hillarious

 

[blackichigo]

* SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.


i love spiderman but he is a lil bitch made sometimes.

 

[Count23]

Some were funny as fuck!

 

[komobb]

* RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.

I loved this one.

 

[tajshan]

Lame.

yes blunt













yes you are.

 

[LSN]

TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.

 

[cli-terminator]

How did I miss this thread before.

 

[Jagi]

LMFAO


I can't even choose one to quote cause they are all so good...

 

[Jagi]

Alright these stood out to me


FANTASTIC FOUR: Scientist exposes friends, family to dangerous radiation to assuage ego, becomes embroiled in rivalry with former room-mate.




GLENGARRY, GLENN ROSS: Sales job proves difficult for some.



GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.



# IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
# WAR MACHINE: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man.


O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.


RISKY BUSINESS: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.


SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.

THE PROFESSIONAL: Hired murderer sleeps with little girl.


W.: Unspeakable disaster afflicts America. Then terrorists attack.

WONDER WOMAN: Princess from isolationist culture lectures Americans on equality.

 

[ScorpDiesel]

* BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.

 

[ScorpDiesel]

GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.

forgot 'bout that one.