Funny School Stories...
- Thread starter veritech
- Start date
One day a group of my friends were just hanging out outside of the admin offices at school. I can’t remember why we were there but clearly we didn’t have to be in class. But anyway out of the corner of my eye I see a familiar silhouette. Turns out it’s my father. Now keep in mind my father is a magistrate judge of a local municipality and he has clothing options. For some reason he put on his best 1970’s “cool” brown polyester suit and a butterfly collar shirt with mustangs running across the chest. Its 1992. I was mortified.
So here he comes with this “cool” 1970’s walk.
I am dying inside. Before he sees me I flee the scene and hide around the corner. He walks up to my brother’s best friend (SM) and says, “What’s up Blood?” They have a brief exchange and my father goes into the office. As soon as the door closes EVERYONE falls out laughing. They thought that was SM’s dad. And they were lambasting SM. He was like, “HELL NO!” “That is CE’s (My brother) dad.”
I still fall out when we tell that story. I am crying laughing now.
So here he comes with this “cool” 1970’s walk.
I am dying inside. Before he sees me I flee the scene and hide around the corner. He walks up to my brother’s best friend (SM) and says, “What’s up Blood?” They have a brief exchange and my father goes into the office. As soon as the door closes EVERYONE falls out laughing. They thought that was SM’s dad. And they were lambasting SM. He was like, “HELL NO!” “That is CE’s (My brother) dad.”
I still fall out when we tell that story. I am crying laughing now.
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I'm about to derail your thread. My dad wore thick ass 70s sideburns until the mid 90s. My boys were ignorant is shit and would clown me mercilessly. Sideburns looked like mutton or pork chops. 1/2 of his motherfucking cheeks covered by facial hair. Then, he had these crazy bifocals on, too. Ahhhhhh, growing up in the Chi. All we did was tell jokes.
Fuck my boys bald mom and stuttering dad. They caught it also. How his little brother have the dad's name and skipped my boy who was 10 years older?
Fuck my boys bald mom and stuttering dad. They caught it also. How his little brother have the dad's name and skipped my boy who was 10 years older?
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8th grade, my aunt used to work at Pizza Hut as a part time job. Her son and I are in the same grade and he had eaten pizza the morning before the school bus came. We're on the bus and the driver is a mean bitch. We're sitting at the back of the bus and my cousin's stomach is bubbling. He asks the bus driver can she stop so he can take a shit. She's like hell no. It's December and brick cold. He said fuck it and gets a trash bag in the back of the bus and takes a shit right in it. Man...the smell of shit without water is fuckin nasty. And it's cold as hell so you can't roll the window down. He gets in the school and throws his draws in the trash can. You know by the time the he gets out, the word is around all of the school. Crazy part is after all of that, he still smashed all of the top bitches in school by the time we graduate...
OMG. LOL. why did they try to hold on to the 70's so hard.
i am
tears in my eyes for real. no way he could have done that shit in these parts. he would have had to transfer.
they didn't suspend him???
This kid from named Thomas fell asleep in the library one day, and dude started snoring. The librarian told me to wake him up, so I go nudge his shoulder and while this other kid Derrick (RIP) tells, "Thomas!" Dude woke up mumbling: "No! Please, not that! The check is in the mail!" We fucking lost it! I asked him what the hell was he dreaming about, and he said that he dreamt that he owed money to a loan shark and him and his boys were coming to collect. I go, "Wait, you owed money to a loan shark, and you was going to mail him a check?", and he was like, "Fuck you, man!"
8th grade? I was mad that I had to wait until 10th grade. Had to lie to get that pussy.
how old were yall?
I think this was in 10th grade.
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i am just cracking up at the thought of a high schooler owing a loan shark and spooked enough to be having dreams about it. wtf????
i am just cracking up at the thought of a high schooler owing a loan shark and spooked enough to be having dreams about it. wtf????
Me and some of my hs classmates brought it up on FB last year, and Thomas posted: "Aight, fellas, that's enough."
i am
tears in my eyes for real. no way he could have done that shit in these parts. he would have had to transfer.
they didn't suspend him???
Lol naa he went home saying he didn't feel good. It went around the whole school, but I'll give props to the bs bus driver because she didn't report it. Probably covering her ass for not stopping the bus. But the next day and afterwards, cats was joking hard!
Man, we were the same age and he got pussy before me. I was the shy one and he was out front with it. Another story, we were in bible school in the summer and this chick is all on his dick. He told me he's gonna hit it in church. I'm telling him that she's not gonna fall for that. Man...the bitch was down and he slayed that shit in the church balcony while I'm in class pissed that the shit worked and I'm going home to some crusty ass socks! After that, I learned to deal with the possibility of rejection, fuck romancing a bitch. I'll ask 10 bitches but only a few may be down.
These stories are killing me 
My freshman yr of h.s. one classmate was trying so hard to be a stand-up comedian..this fool quoted the Eddie Murphy Comedian album word-for-word and tried to pass it off as material that HE supposedly wrote 
Happened to a dude named Quentin at my school.
Another one: One of the pretty boys use to brag about being a black belt, and one day he did a heat check on one of the suit wearing quiet boys to impress this broad. Bad move.
He got lumped the fuck up! Dude fighting in a suit, made it looked like one of those fights you see on TV. Afterwards, we start clowning "Mr. Black Belt" about his eye, and dude said, and I quote: "He didn't hit me in my eye. I had a piece of peppermint in my mouth and when he rushed me, his head hit my jaw and pushed the peppermint up under my eye." 
We were like, "Dude, that's not even fuckin' possible!" , then he hits us with: "That's because y'all don't take martial arts. When you become a black belt, your body allows you to do different things.", and without missing a beat, Miss Hodges (art teacher) says, "Like allowing you to get your ass kicked by a guy wearing a suit?" It was a wrap after that. It got so bad, dude left to go to the bathroom, and never came back.i bet he didnt show up at school the next day..
Happened to a dude named Quentin at my school.
Another one: One of the pretty boys use to brag about being a black belt, and one day he did a heat check on one of the suit wearing quiet boys to impress this broad. Bad move.
the art teacher commenting..surely the whole class fell out laughing
i bet he didnt show up at school the next day..
Man, we had tears rolling down our faces. She said that shit without looking up or even stopping from taking attendance. That shit was like a no look pass.
Happened to a dude named Quentin at my school.
Another one: One of the pretty boys use to brag about being a black belt, and one day he did a heat check on one of the suit wearing quiet boys to impress this broad. Bad move.
Speaking of leaving and never coming back
We were in an unruly ass american history class. A girl named Ariel was in the class. she was cool. the class was super unruly because of a sub everyone was laughing and talking and shit just being silly. for some unknown reason everyone got quiet. It was like every conversation came to a close at the same time across the entire class. no teacher came in telling us to calm down or nothing everyone just had enough of talking. right at that moment as it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop ariel let out the fart of all farts. it started off sounding like you were slowly letting the air out of a balloon and blossomed into the sound a hog makes when he eats and went full road warrior...NOOOO....WE GO IN......WE KILLLLL.....NO MORE TALK...WE KILLLLL..... every eye was on her. the class was quiet. she got up. she left out everyone was still quiet.
i haven't seen her since.
When i was in the band in high school,.....i forgot which school the football team was playing....but the game was over and the buses would usually stop at a mcdonalds or a burger king,....or at least an area that had some of those type of eating establishments,.....and we'd all get off the bus, and they'd give us an hour or so to get some food and eat and board the buses before heading back. Well the game ended late.....so it was after 10pm before we stopped in the parkinglot....and there was a Wendy's and a KFC. Its pitch dark out there....not much lighting. Mufuckas jump off the bus and go running toward Wendys. Now its 5 fuckin buses of band members.....we were like 300 strong......some took the long route and ran all the way around the parkinglot to the restaurant....and others were like fuck it and decided to cut through this big ass row of bushes (they were like 5ft high) that divided the parkinglot and Wendys. Well little to be known.....im runnin behind a group of bitches, and i could just see niggaz jumpin thru the bushes, some even trying to hurdle them.....and immediately after them jumping through...i'd see their head.....then see them no more......and u hear them screaming and shit. On the other side of those bushes, was a big ass ditch/creek....whichever u prefer to call it. And it was like an 8ft drop at a steep ass slant on the other side of those bushes. Shit was filled wit bricks, old tires, water, bottles, frogs, and whatever else was down there. At least 30-40 mufuckas jumped thru those bushes to their demise before everybody else realized it was a fuckin hazard. Man by the time some of them came into Wendys and i saw the damage that was done.....some were all cut the fuck up....some were completely soaked from falling completely into the creek. Ambulance had to be called to treat a few of them for cuts and shit. Jokes were put on all them mufuckas on the ride home.
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this one nerdy White boy in my english class was always doing some weird shit,on the day we had to watch an instructional film i was going into class and had seen out the corner of my eye this Mexican girl was talking to him then leaned over and had whispered in his ear..he walked into the class all like
when his friend who always sat in front of him was like whats up he said "man this girl my sister knows said she wants to get with me this weekend..we may,you know.." then his friend was like "Aww shit"then they hi-fived During the film the teacher was walking around the classroom and noticed the boy was sitting at his desk nodding his head and shaking,she turned on the light in the back section then all of a sudden she was like"WHAT IN THE..GET UP!! GET..GET OUT..GET..FRONT OFFICE,RIGHT NOW!!!" Homeboy jumped up out his seat and powerwalked out the door all hunched over with his hands covering his crotch..turns out he was jacking off and had a stopwatch timing himself
Happened to a dude named Quentin at my school.
Another one: One of the pretty boys use to brag about being a black belt, and one day he did a heat check on one of the suit wearing quiet boys to impress this broad. Bad move.
another transfer victim.
the water fights of all water fights..we plotted to have a big water fight afterschool..somehow it passed on to mad kids and got even bigger..well last period me and my boy cut class ran to our cribs to change clothes and load up on water balloons than returned to school..well when school ended that day it was on...every11111111111111 was a target..it was no holds barred..bitches getting wet, dudes, some teachers got it, random people in the street, ehhhhhhhhhh from what i hear random people on buses got it even bus drivers...well it also happened to be freshman orientation day and some of the pre-freshman got it to..well that didn't go over to well with some of the authority figs in school and it ended up being a witchhunt on students dat day..if u were connected to it u was gonna get suspended maybe even worst..well the principle, various deans, even security was walking around like goons goin up to mad students telling that they was a part of it ur suspendedetc etc..the principle happen to come up to a kid name tallblack who juss happened to be soaked from head to toe with blood shot red eyes, sneakers so soaked that if i stepped down u'd see the water bubble come out of my kicks...anyway principle looks dead at me surrounded with deans like hey tallblack u heard about some crazyass water fight that happen today afterschool..bunch of prefresh got soaked and are scared to come to this school because of it..well tallblack looked dead into his eyes and said sir i have no idea what ur talking about i'm here rite now talking to a lady friend deciding what we gonna do later on 2nite( to this day people wanna kno how the fuck i didn't get suspended after that bs lies)..dude looked at me and said hey i kno ur cool with everybody so if u hear something can u let me kno and juss kept it moving with the dean/security squad...we laughed the rest of the day about my red bloodshot eyes and me holding on to 1 of my ladyfriends and lying my ass off about not knowing shit..i forget the number count but double digits amount of people got suspended cause of that shit and yet 1 of the masterminds ehhhhhh ummm 
a person that maybe was a part of it didn't get touch
random people on buses got it even bus drivers...well it also happened to be freshman orientation day and some of the pre-freshman got it to..well that didn't go over to well with some of the authority figs in school and it ended up being a witchhunt on students dat day..if u were connected to it u was gonna get suspended maybe even worst..well the principle, various deans, even security was walking around like goons goin up to mad students telling that they was a part of it ur suspendedetc etc..the principle happen to come up to a kid name tallblack who juss happened to be soaked from head to toe with blood shot red eyes, sneakers so soaked that if i stepped down u'd see the water bubble come out of my kicks...anyway principle looks dead at me surrounded with deans like hey tallblack u heard about some crazyass water fight that happen today afterschool..bunch of prefresh got soaked and are scared to come to this school because of it..well tallblack looked dead into his eyes and said sir i have no idea what ur talking about i'm here rite now talking to a lady friend deciding what we gonna do later on 2nite( to this day people wanna kno how the fuck i didn't get suspended after that bs lies)..dude looked at me and said hey i kno ur cool with everybody so if u hear something can u let me kno and juss kept it moving with the dean/security squad...we laughed the rest of the day about my red bloodshot eyes and me holding on to 1 of my ladyfriends and lying my ass off about not knowing shit..i forget the number count but double digits amount of people got suspended cause of that shit and yet 1 of the masterminds ehhhhhh ummm a person that maybe was a part of it didn't get touch
For some reason i was imagining this music playing in the background while all this was happening
lmao
this one nerdy White boy in my english class was always doing some weird shit,on the day we had to watch an instructional film i was going into class and had seen out the corner of my eye this Mexican girl was talking to him then leaned over and had whispered in his ear..he walked into the class all like
in summerschool if u didn't pay attention to your bookbag we'd scoop it up empty out ur shit, flip ur bookbag inside out, than put ur shit back in it, than take ur bookbag, tie it to a string that control the blinds to the window, and hang ur bookbag outside the window...nigs would get creative and tie multiple bookbags together and hang them shits out the window...the look on somebody face when they came from the bathroom and goin wtf than have to pull their bookbag through the window making mad noise with the blinds...1 day some nig took creativity to the next level and flipped mad people bags inside out and tied it to a school chair and through it out the window...when the people tried to pull their shit back up the chair hit the window dumb hard
...yoooooo best summerschool ever...we would take small mirrors and reflect light at mad other people classrooms blinding mad kids..we would infared nigs with glasses from behind..man we was next level idiots that summer
...nigs would get creative and tie multiple bookbags together and hang them shits out the window...the look on somebody face when they came from the bathroom and goin wtf than have to pull their bookbag through the window making mad noise with the blinds...1 day some nig took creativity to the next level and flipped mad people bags inside out and tied it to a school chair and through it out the window...when the people tried to pull their shit back up the chair hit the window dumb hard...yoooooo best summerschool ever...we would take small mirrors and reflect light at mad other people classrooms blinding mad kids..we would infared nigs with glasses from behind..man we was next level idiots that summer