I'm enjoying the candid responses from the ladies. This is a great thread.
My policy has always been, she comes first. I've had a few fake it, but I learned quickly what not to do or say to get a woman to cum. I think some cats still don't know how to arouse a woman to
almost assure an orgasm... the title 'Slow Burn' comes to mind.
Fuck her mind first
Give foreplay liberally
Eat the pussy right meaning use long strokes on the entire vulval area, kiss the lips and mons, stroke the g spot. When the clit emerges (she'll open her legs wider) circle the clit rhythmically, hum, do the alphabet...whatever she likes
She will cum in time, and it will be real
After that first orgasm...the others will come quickly
Easiest way to tell if she's having a real one, have her masturbate herself to orgasm and watch her. After doing that a few times you'll know what's real and what isn't by simply seeing her reactions.
Common signs from my experiences so far:
The skin gets hot and changes color (easier to tell in lighter skinned women)
The vagina heats up noticeably and pulsates involuntarily (harder to fake than she thinks) she will usually pull you all the way in to feel it
The breathing is labored and stuttered
Hard swallows
Her eyebrows will do weird things
She'll either have her eyes closed, or she'll be looking at you...but not
necessarily aware of you
She won't talk for at least 2 minutes even if she was talking shit before
Everything is nuanced