Dilemma- So I am taking it to the board

[thighsneyez22]

Ladies- Lets say you can only have one of the two situations and you have to choose one, which one will you choose.

Being the kept woman (above and beyond anything you could ever provide for yourself) but having to do everything that he says.

Or having a kept man that does everything you ask him to without hesitation or problems. Having to support the two of you puts a considerable stress on your finances, but you are a bit above the poverty level.


I know the obvious answer is be independent of a man- but if you HAD to choose- which one would it be?

 

[onyxfemme]

I am a bit biast here. I had a kept man...and I have been a kept woman.
I chose the middle (I know that isnt an option) I wasnt happy in either situation, so I decided to get a man that was a combination of the two....

Hmmmmm wonders if that was the right choice????

Ladies- Lets say you can only have one of the two situations and you have to choose one, which one will you choose.

Being the kept woman (above and beyond anything you could ever provide for yourself) but having to do everything that he says.

Or having a kept man that does everything you ask him to without hesitation or problems. Having to support the two of you puts a considerable stress on your finances, but you are a bit above the poverty level.


I know the obvious answer is be independent of a man- but if you HAD to choose- which one would it be?

 

[LoneStar29]

In all honesty I cannot answer this question

I would pick whoever loved me more

 

[onyxfemme]

An thats real.....

In all honesty I cannot answer this question

I would pick whoever loved me more

 

[thighsneyez22]

You ladies are not playing fair.

ALL ELSE IS EQUAL- the love is equal.

Thanks for responding but please do some soul searching and try again.

Remember- this is all hypothetical.

 

[onyxfemme]

In that case....I would take the kept men...I am too independent, spoiled and busy to do what ever a man says...ALL THE TIME!
I could end up in prison.

You ladies are not playing fair.

ALL ELSE IS EQUAL- the love is equal.

Thanks for responding but please do some soul searching and try again.

Remember- this is all hypothetical.

 

[LoneStar29]

C/S OF ... I'm too stubborn to have a man tell me what to do all the time

In all honesty a kept man would annoy the hell outta me too though lol

 

[bigirl]

haha I am the queen of the semi kept man

I have been very lucky to have run into quite a few who clean the house for me etc which is good as I am semi domestically challenged! I have no problem going out to work and coming home to a fresh clean house and some good dick too

 

[thighsneyez22]

In that case....I would take the kept men...I am too independent, spoiled and busy to do what ever a man says...ALL THE TIME!
I could end up in prison.

thank you for your honest response.

LS-its your turn- this isnt about black and white- just about which has a more favorable shade of grey for you.

 

[onyxfemme]

TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont mind bringing home the bacon......If he cooks it!

haha I am the queen of the semi kept man

I have been very lucky to have run into quite a few who clean the house for me etc which is good as I am semi domestically challenged! I have no problem going out to work and coming home to a fresh clean house and some good dick too

 

[thighsneyez22]

haha I am the queen of the semi kept man

I have been very lucky to have run into quite a few who clean the house for me etc which is good as I am semi domestically challenged! I have no problem going out to work and coming home to a fresh clean house and some good dick too

YOU KEPT THAT ALL THE WAY GANGSTA.

So are you saying that, even if you are struggling a little- you'd rather be in control of your own destiny?

 

[bigirl]

YOU KEPT THAT ALL THE WAY GANGSTA.

So are you saying that, even if you are struggling a little- you'd rather be in control of your own destiny?

That is definitely what I am saying!

 

[IntelligentDyme]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would never want to keep a man or support him financially unless I had to, if he fell bad on his luck, or was going to school or starting a business. I wouldnt want a man to do everything I say, especially in a situation like that, b/c I know he is doing it because I'm the breadwinner...I would find him to be annoying, not manly, and I probably wouldn't respect him...Honestly I find it hard to respect any man who would willingly live off of a woman, and I know alot of men wouldn't respect it either... some may even give him props in face, but would dog him out behind his back.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

I'd rather be kept.. I enjoy the "provider" aspect of men... And I think that if I'm doing things right, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids.. that in itself is a job.. as long he doesn't get abusive and start power tripping, I would have no probs with it..

 

[jucurious]

*looks at thread*

nah man, I can't even answer that...I got more options

*walks out*

 

[LeroyDibiase]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would never want to keep a man or support him financially unless I had to, if he fell bad on his luck, or was going to school or starting a business. I wouldnt want a man to do everything I say, especially in a situation like that, b/c I know he is doing it because I'm the breadwinner...I would find him to be annoying, not manly, and I probably wouldn't respect him...Honestly I find it hard to respect any man who would willingly live off of a woman, and I know alot of men wouldn't respect it either... some may even give him props in face, but would dog him out behind his back.

I'd rather be kept.. I enjoy the "provider" aspect of men... And I think that if I'm doing things right, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids.. that in itself is a job.. as long he doesn't get abusive and start power tripping, I would have no probs with it..

 

[bigirl]

I guess I'm in the minority here. I would never want to keep a man or support him financially unless I had to, if he fell bad on his luck, or was going to school or starting a business. I wouldnt want a man to do everything I say, especially in a situation like that, b/c I know he is doing it because I'm the breadwinner...I would find him to be annoying, not manly, and I probably wouldn't respect him...Honestly I find it hard to respect any man who would willingly live off of a woman, and I know alot of men wouldn't respect it either... some may even give him props in face, but would dog him out behind his back.

This is why I say semi kept

 

[PrincessC]

I would much rather be kept than to keep a man. Although the rules are unfair at times, men and women have separate roles/expectations in this society. There's something about a (capable) grown man not having a job that makes my skin crawl.

 

[onyxfemme]

Ditto-Bi-Girl! Which goes to my initial response

This is why I say semi kept

 

[cwhrmny]

a semi-kept man is a figment of your imagination.a semi-kept man is really a boy not a man

 

[bigirl]

a semi-kept man is a figment of your imagination.a semi-kept man is really a boy not a man

WRONG!!! He is man enough to help me out with what I need help with

 

[sean69]

WRONG!!! He is man enough to help me out with what I need help with

Bullshit. A kept, semi-kept, quasi-kept, pseudo-kept, cartoon-kept or whatever is a loser!

And a bitchass.

No excuses.

 

[bigirl]

Bullshit. A kept, semi-kept, quasi-kept, pseudo-kept, cartoon-kept or whatever is a loser!

And a bitchass.

No excuses.

You bullshit

 

[LeroyDibiase]

You bullshit

Remember home, BiGirl, remember home...

 

[bigirl]

Remember home, BiGirl, remember home...

I do and I gonna stay this way like me and not let Babylon get over me

STILL though a man willing to help me with domestic work is the bomb!
I really love that

 

[LoneStar29]

Man I hate this question damnit

I don't like pussy men but I can't stand a brotha telling me what to do all the time either

I still don't know

 

[IntelligentDyme]

Man I hate this question damnit

I don't like pussy men but I can't stand a brotha telling me what to do all the time either

I still don't know

I dont blame you for being confused... If a man is telling you what to do all the time that is controlling, not really being kept...but then again, if a man is "keeping you" in the right way, there should be no need for him to feel he has to tell you what to do. I have been "kept" in my relationships, and never had a problem with a controlling man, never felt handcuffed.

But her dilemma seems to involve either being with a dude that is controlling her financially or to be with a dude that she is controlling finanacially...I say leave em both, cause they sound like insecure people.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

I dont blame you for being confused... If a man is telling you what to do all the time that is controlling, not really being kept...but then again, if a man is "keeping you" in the right way, there should be no need for him to feel he has to tell you what to do. I have been "kept" in my relationships, and never had a problem with a controlling man, never felt handcuffed.

But her dilemma seems to involve either being with a dude that is controlling her financially or to be with a dude that she is controlling finanacially...I say leave em both, cause they sound like insecure people.

If a man is strong enough to "keep" you as a woman(and still as an equal cause there are men trying to buy affection), than he himself will be grown enough to not try and control your every move.

 

[sean69]

You bullshit

You bullshit?

That's it?

Damn BG, you fell off ...

If a man is strong enough to "keep" you as a woman(and still as an equal cause there are men trying to buy affection), than he himself will be grown enough to not try and control your every move.

Henduvthred.

 

[LoneStar29]

If a man is strong enough to "keep" you as a woman(and still as an equal cause there are men trying to buy affection), than he himself will be grown enough to not try and control your every move.

Ok that's all I want ... I don't wanna feel like his property cuz of his cash flow

 

[mpthaking89]

any man thats objective is to be kept is not a real man.

 

[bigirl]

You bullshit?

That's it?

Damn BG, you fell off ...

 

[bigreg2007]

interesting

 

[jucurious]

See This Is Where I Disagree With All You Hypocrites. You Want Equal Rights, Equal Pay, Half Or More In Divorce Then You Need To Give The Same Rights And Respect To The Males!

When Will Black Women In Particular Wake Up And Realize That You Have A Family Unit And Not A Man And Woman And Children In The Relationship! If The Wellbeing Of The Unit Is Best Served By One Parent Being Home Then So Freaking Be It. If The Woman's Income Is The One That Can Do It Then So Be It. You Come Up With A Working Plan For The Unit And Work It.

I Consider It Weak Minds That Are Stuck In The Stereotypical Roles And Bash Others For Finding And Working The Plan That Works For Them.

Also. If This Economy Gets Any Fucked Up That 12 Or 15% Unemployment This Will Be The Reality Of The Society. Women Will Get The Jobs Before The Black Men; And Then What ? All The Ladies Dump Their Kids Fathers And Husbands ?

People Need To Wake Up And Go For Balance And Happiness In Their Lives. If You Make Enough Money And Can Afford It. Then Fuck! Whatever Makes You Want To Run Home And Relax Then Fucking Work That Fucking Plan.

I Hope The Sisters That Can Afford To Have Their Husbands Stay Home With The Kids Don't Let Their Family, Friends Or Society Fuck Up Their Home With Their Bullshit Stereotype. Love Each Other And Enjoy The Peace In Your Home. Appreciate The Contribution Of The Other Person. Work The Plan That Works Best For Your Situation And Stay The Fuck Out Other Peoples Plan Especially If You Are Not Invited.

Here is a realistic sample situation. She is working as a CEO, doctor or a lawyer and making good money but doesn't have much time for the home stuff. He is working a lower paying job and doesn't have time for the home stuff because of job also. They have 2 kids. You are constantly fussing at each other because someone needs pick up the kids from the sitter and sometimes you both have to stay overtime at work. You both sit down and realize that for the money you spend in childcare and the money you lose from leaving work early to pick them up if she works 1 hour extra it's more than enough for him to stay home. Do you think you both could live a longer less stressful life after coming to that solution for the family unit ?

wow this thread must have touched a nerve

1. it's hypothetical with 2 horrible choices
2. a good portion of women said that they would want somethin in the middle
3. your example deals w/ two ppl doing their thing and having issues...the hypothetical deals w/ a super controlling situation where there is no conversation b/c their is an expectation of obedience

relax lol

 

[jjUSTAZZ]

Let me just slit my wrists now...


Cause I'm too in love with myself to be kept by a man and I also can not stand a man that has to be kept either. Both of situations turn me completely off!