Dark Girls

[QueEx]

Its a damn shame what racism and white supremacy did to us as a race.

You can't emphasize this enough; and I'm not certain that we even realize the extent to which we still suffer the "mental" consequences.

I find it real interesting that white women don't have the same division. I never hear about pale white women fighting with olive toned white women or white dudes saying they only date olive toned white females instead pale white women. Red haired white women fighting with brunette women.

IDK Bruh. I don't believe the that the phrase, "I want a man tall dark and handsome" was actually referring to us.

 

[Izayoi]

They find other ways to divide themselves.

True! I think dark skin women really need to start re-writing this narrative though. I really dislike the impression that this gives that being dark skin sucks if you are a woman. I have never in my life felt that way! This isn't the 40's where you had to pass a paper bag test to go places and do things (though it still exists in elitist coon circles but really who cares?)

Again, I think it starts in the home. I didn't get those negative messages in my formative years so when I was older and did start to notice some bias it just never internalized for me. I saw it as an extension of racism, and I still do. There's one thing to have a preference and another to just be intra-racially racist.

QueX you said it sir- we don't realize that it's an extension of racism and when it's pointed out people would rather deny it than confront it.

 

[Mutt Lo]

Matter of fact.

I find it real interesting that white women don't have the same division. I never hear about pale white women fighting with olive toned white women or white dudes saying they only date olive toned white females instead pale white women. Red haired white women fighting with brunette women.

Its a damn shame what racism and white supremacy did to us as a race.

As for as they are concerned they are all white and we are all black. When need to stop this in fighting and direct our energy to the real enemy.

Black people need to wake the fuck up.

Skin color and hair texture does not make us better or worser than our brothas and sistas. When need to get off that bullshit.

But there you go putting all white people in one category, but you can blame someone else for doing it to you? When i look at the world i dont see black and white. I see fair people and unfair. Nice and rude. Caring and selfish. Never just black or white. Women are beautiful, dark or light and its up to everyone individually to realize that as i have.

EDIT: White people are just as divided by the way, if not always due to complexion.

 

[followup]

the lighter the berry, the more dilute the blackness (in general). That's why we don't say "the lighter the berry the sweeter the juice". Interesting discussion

 

[QueEx]

the lighter the berry, the more dilute the blackness (in general). That's why we don't say "the lighter the berry the sweeter the juice". Interesting discussion

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

But there you go putting all white people in one category, but you can blame someone else for doing it to you? When i look at the world i dont see black and white. I see fair people and unfair. Nice and rude. Caring and selfish. Never just black or white. Women are beautiful, dark or light and its up to everyone individually to realize that as i have.

EDIT: White people are just as divided by the way, if not always due to complexion.

All white people are in 1 category. They're soulless aboninations. Incapable of living in harmony with thier surroundings. And yes it is very easy to point out when something WRONG is being done to you. You, you don't seem to live in the same reality i live in.

I think we're being punked....

 

[Mutt Lo]

All white people are in 1 category. They're soulless aboninations. Incapable of living in harmony with thier surroundings. And yes it is very easy to point out when something WRONG is being done to you. You, you don't seem to live in the same reality i live in.

I think we're being punked....

Lol that gif is hilarious.

Every person you consider white did something wrong to you? Those are the views of a child.

I know sicilians and greeks darker than many so called black people. Where does that fit into your world where everyone is a racist?

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

True! I think dark skin women really need to start re-writing this narrative though. I really dislike the impression that this gives that being dark skin sucks if you are a woman. I have never in my life felt that way! This isn't the 40's where you had to pass a paper bag test to go places and do things (though it still exists in elitist coon circles but really who cares?)

Again, I think it starts in the home. I didn't get those negative messages in my formative years so when I was older and did start to notice some bias it just never internalized for me. I saw it as an extension of racism, and I still do. There's one thing to have a preference and another to just be intra-racially racist.

QueX you said it sir- we don't realize that it's an extension of racism and when it's pointed out people would rather deny it than confront it.

I agree with ya Iz but on the other hand there are STILL a LOT of people who don't believe their dark skin is attractive. A LOT. My wifey for example, she grew up in Seattle, in the Seattle area. Very few....black people there. She wasn't exposed to any real "black culture". She was told by her own mother that since she wasn't as pretty as the light skinned girls she'd have to really work and study hard to be smart. She got told that her whole life. And of course whenever you look at TV the thin "attractive" women weren't ever dark. They were always light. The dark women in images, tv, movies, uhmmm print ads. Were always the "mammy" types. Heavy set mothering. That stuff takes it's toll.

It's a BLESSINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG by the ancestors that you didn't expeirence that. But my wifey isn't the only one. I heard that kind of jib coming up. About for some reason how much prettier i was because i was light skinned. Or......how it was always a factor for some reason in my beauty.

It's not something that has gone away Iz. Shit i just heard that maybe last year. "pretty for a dark girl". My husband and i lauded my daughters beauty and lauded their tone. To combat the DAILY bombardment of how much prettier light skinned women were supposed to be. Taking the oldest to africa and always pointing out to her how beautiful those brown skinned women were. And how blessed she was. Teaching her what melanin is. Does. The incredibly effects of melatonin.

It does start at home, but we've got a LOT........... LOT of mental slavery to overcome.

 

[Mutt Lo]

I agree with ya Iz but on the other hand there are STILL a LOT of people who don't believe their dark skin is attractive. A LOT. My wifey for example, she grew up in Seattle, in the Seattle area. Very few....black people there. She wasn't exposed to any real "black culture". She was told by her own mother that since she wasn't as pretty as the light skinned girls she'd have to really work and study hard to be smart. She got told that her whole life. And of course whenever you look at TV the thin "attractive" women weren't ever dark. They were always light. The dark women in images, tv, movies, uhmmm print ads. Were always the "mammy" types. Heavy set mothering. That stuff takes it's toll.

It's a BLESSINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG by the ancestors that you didn't expeirence that. But my wifey isn't the only one. I heard that kind of jib coming up. About for some reason how much prettier i was because i was light skinned. Or......how it was always a factor for some reason in my beauty.

It's not something that has gone away Iz. Shit i just heard that maybe last year. "pretty for a dark girl". My husband and i lauded my daughters beauty and lauded their tone. To combat the DAILY bombardment of how much prettier light skinned women were supposed to be. Taking the oldest to africa and always pointing out to her how beautiful those brown skinned women were. And how blessed she was. Teaching her what melanin is. Does. The incredibly effects of melatonin.

It does start at home, but we've got a LOT........... LOT of mental slavery to overcome.

This i whole-heartedly agree with.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Lol that gif is hilarious.

Every person you consider white did something wrong to you? Those are the views of a child.

I know sicilians and greeks darker than many so called black people. Where does that fit into your world where everyone is a racist?

Every person who is white is partaking of the wrongness brought upon my people. I've been to sicily. They have no love for black people. Those are the views of a person who's eyes are wide open and refuses to be blinded by the caucasoid's mental entrapement. It's funny how black people are the only group of people who are supposed to see the world in abstracts. And it's only when we bring up the truth of the wrong done to us.

Nice.

Trying to insult when you weren't insulted. Is the mindset of someone who isn't very mature either Sir/Madame Poster.

 

[sakinnuso]

My problem with this is the self-hate. I'm super dark-skinned. I love black women of all complexions, as long as they're black. My preference, then, is for Black women. What irks the HELL out of me is when brothers express this ire towards darker women, acting as if they're some type of stain, then get angry when the women develop issues (as this documentary shows).

I'm not being militant nor passing judgement on anyone for dating any color, but telling dark-skinned women to 'get over it' (as I've seen in another thread on BGOL) just pisses me off. There is a CLEAR problem amongst blacks because many of us consider ourselves uglier and less desirable the closer we get to the black end of the spectrum.

Fact is, even if somebody was to say that their preference isn't for lighter-skinned women, you rarely ever hear that person call them UGLY as a WHOLE. In fact, the dominant assumption in our community, sadly, is that an ugly light-skinned person is an EXCEPTION, just as a cute dark-skinned girl is the same exception. Guarantee: You can take a busted, big-bertha ass, high-yella sister with long hair and most men would still find her attractive enough with the sole complaint being that she's just got to lose a little weight. "She alright! I like 'em a lil sloppy nigga!"

Conversely, you can take a FOINE dark-skinned sister, and not only does she not get the same benefit of the doubt, but people start looking at her as an exception. "She's fine - For a dark-skinned chick."

The real problem is a social one. Willie Lynch being fact or fiction is inconsequential. Society as a whole views darker as shittier. While we're 'fashionable' now, Blacks as a whole, are considered the trash of the world. You give blacks an opportunity to succeed at anything and we dominate it. While I don't think there's some corporate hive-mind pulling strings from the back of dark antechambers, I *do* think that the White Anglos Saxons remain the dominant culture and power in the world, and either subconsciously or consciously, maintain their brand value by taking jabs at the rest of us.

Coming back to blacks and our own self-hate, if blacks just looked at blacks on the whole as beautiful, we wouldn't have such an incredible rift in our people. Of course, by rift, I don't simply mean just dark and light, but obviously our own destructive attitudes towards things African - which is the genesis of the light /dark thing anyway. Who are we fooling? The closer something is to African (or even Aboriginal), the uglier we consider it. So comprehensive is the western branding that we've all socially endured.

I'm an american-born and american-raised, Nigerian American. I married a traditional African American woman...from Los Angeles, no less. That comes with its own trials, of course, but chief among them is in trying to help her overcome ingrained biases against black folk. I tell you all as I remind her:

Love who you want, and I won't condemn you but make the choice with eyes wide open and with full love of yourself. If you fully love yourself - which doesn't mean becoming super african or whatever - but just love your skin and love your people in all of our shapes and sizes, then i can't get angry when you've made an educated and fair choice. But when you make your decisions based in biases and don't even KNOW it, that shit is poisonous. That's intolerable. That's what too many of us blacks do, then overcompensate...

 

[Izayoi]

It does start at home, but we've got a LOT........... LOT of mental slavery to overcome.

Love who you want, and I won't condemn you but make the choice with eyes wide open and with full love of yourself. If you fully love yourself - which doesn't mean becoming super african or whatever - but just love your skin and love your people in all of our shapes and sizes, then i can't get angry when you've made an educated and fair choice. But when you make your decisions based in biases and don't even KNOW it, that shit is poisonous. That's intolerable. That's what too many of us blacks do, then overcompensate...

Great posts and I agree. I'm not denying it exists LI, but I'm saying that it's not a universal experience and the words we tell ourselves everyday also matter. If I told myself everyday that men (Men I don't know or haven't met and won't care to meet and who won't care to meet me) won't like me because of my complexion in essence I'm tearing myself down and allowing racism to become part of my very intimate esteem. I won't do. I won't encourage my children to do that by reciting these horror stories over and over again without any resolution or context. The context is clear = racism and the need to distance ourselves from things "black". As sakinnuso noted that is a social problem.

I don't know- maybe I'm just vain but honestly my attitude is usually if you can't see the cuteness or beauty in a persons features (complexion is just one feature) then it is truly your problem not mine because you are an intra-racial racist. We are very reluctant to call other black people on their bullshit in that way, but that's what it is.

Dark skin is not ugly. Racism, classism, (skin color is used as a marker of social class) and white supremacy are ugly.

 

[QueEx]

My problem with this is the self-hate. I'm super dark-skinned. I love black women of all complexions, as long as they're black. My preference, then, is for Black women. What irks the HELL out of me is when brothers express this ire towards darker women, acting as if they're some type of stain, then get angry when the women develop issues (as this documentary shows).

I'm not being militant nor passing judgement on anyone for dating any color, but telling dark-skinned women to 'get over it' (as I've seen in another thread on BGOL) just pisses me off. There is a CLEAR problem amongst blacks because many of us consider ourselves uglier and less desirable the closer we get to the black end of the spectrum.

Fact is, even if somebody was to say that their preference isn't for lighter-skinned women, you rarely ever hear that person call them UGLY as a WHOLE. In fact, the dominant assumption in our community, sadly, is that an ugly light-skinned person is an EXCEPTION, just as a cute dark-skinned girl is the same exception. Guarantee: You can take a busted, big-bertha ass, high-yella sister with long hair and most men would still find her attractive enough with the sole complaint being that she's just got to lose a little weight. "She alright! I like 'em a lil sloppy nigga!"

Conversely, you can take a FOINE dark-skinned sister, and not only does she not get the same benefit of the doubt, but people start looking at her as an exception. "She's fine - For a dark-skinned chick."

The real problem is a social one. Willie Lynch being fact or fiction is inconsequential. Society as a whole views darker as shittier. While we're 'fashionable' now, Blacks as a whole, are considered the trash of the world. You give blacks an opportunity to succeed at anything and we dominate it. While I don't think there's some corporate hive-mind pulling strings from the back of dark antechambers, I *do* think that the White Anglos Saxons remain the dominant culture and power in the world, and either subconsciously or consciously, maintain their brand value by taking jabs at the rest of us.

Coming back to blacks and our own self-hate, if blacks just looked at blacks on the whole as beautiful, we wouldn't have such an incredible rift in our people. Of course, by rift, I don't simply mean just dark and light, but obviously our own destructive attitudes towards things African - which is the genesis of the light /dark thing anyway. Who are we fooling? The closer something is to African (or even Aboriginal), the uglier we consider it. So comprehensive is the western branding that we've all socially endured.

I'm an american-born and american-raised, Nigerian American. I married a traditional African American woman...from Los Angeles, no less. That comes with its own trials, of course, but chief among them is in trying to help her overcome ingrained biases against black folk. I tell you all as I remind her:

Love who you want, and I won't condemn you but make the choice with eyes wide open and with full love of yourself. If you fully love yourself - which doesn't mean becoming super african or whatever - but just love your skin and love your people in all of our shapes and sizes, then i can't get angry when you've made an educated and fair choice. But when you make your decisions based in biases and don't even KNOW it, that shit is poisonous. That's intolerable. That's what too many of us blacks do, then overcompensate...

Excellent points. Wish I had the time to add comment. Can't right now; I've got some young up and coming Kings that I must devote time to bonding & raising & loving -- a duty and a pleasure!

Qx

 

[Mutt Lo]

Every person who is white is partaking of the wrongness brought upon my people. I've been to sicily. They have no love for black people. Those are the views of a person who's eyes are wide open and refuses to be blinded by the caucasoid's mental entrapement. It's funny how black people are the only group of people who are supposed to see the world in abstracts. And it's only when we bring up the truth of the wrong done to us.

Nice.

Trying to insult when you weren't insulted. Is the mindset of someone who isn't very mature either Sir/Madame Poster.

No insult meant. It cannot possibly be every white person, thats not logical. I know a few white people from the projects, living the same day to day trials as those around them. I refuse to believe everyone can be categorized, that is part of the problem. People are people, and should be judged as such.

 

[Mo-Better]

And I've known many women that won't date lightskinned men and dudes who won't touch lightskinned women (myself included). We need to be smarter but we need to judge each other's preferences less as well.
Speaking for myself, character is nice but if the package isn't dark enough, it's not happening, keep on pushing.

Everyone has a preference there's nothing wrong with that. Its what makes one person more appealing than the next. However if I meet someone who's meeting every criteria that's important to me her skin tone will not matter as long as she's black, sure and at ease with herself I'm good.

I've dated women from the damn near white to darkest imaginable skin tone and none of it means a damn thing. Now I admit when I was young I too had my preferences but as I aged and matured I learned its not about skin tones.

 

[followup]

Right. A preference is different from discriminating. You know the difference just as you said: if a person had everything you were looking for but was the wrong shade of black and you reject them, you're discriminating (against your own at that). slap yourself.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

No insult meant. It cannot possibly be every white person, thats not logical. I know a few white people from the projects, living the same day to day trials as those around them. I refuse to believe everyone can be categorized, that is part of the problem. People are people, and should be judged as such.

I disagree. People are not people. It'd be different if our dissimilarities were celebrated instead of used to harm us. But this is not the case.

In the world that i live in? My people are discriminated against and killed and live in a system built on the blood of their ancestors and thrives on the mental slavery put upon them today.

 

[Mo-Better]

Right. A preference is different from discriminating. You know the difference just as you said: if a person had everything you were looking for but was the wrong shade of black and you reject them, you're discriminating (against your own at that). slap yourself.

Slap yourself is right because self imposed discrimination is probably the ultimate form of ignorance.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Right. A preference is different from discriminating. You know the difference just as you said: if a person had everything you were looking for but was the wrong shade of black and you reject them, you're discriminating (against your own at that). slap yourself.

A semantics game people play I outright reject. The whole definition of "preference" is based on discrimination. Yeah, if a person fits most of the bill but you trip off their level of darkness, you might have a problem.



On a lighter note
The chick from the show "Justified", Erica Tazel, could get it all day and twice on Sunday and Saturday.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

A semantics game people play I outright reject. The whole definition of "preference" is based on discrimination. Yeah, if a person fits most of the bill but you trip off their level of darkness, you might have a problem.



On a lighter note
The chick from the show "Justified", Erica Tazel, could get it all day and twice on Sunday and Saturday.

Semantics is the name of the game. Period. If you aren't attracted it's not just based off of skin color. It's based off of things that involve that skin coloration. People need to stop being tripped up by the first thing there and dig deeper. There's a reason WHY you don't like this or that. There's a reason WHY you don't like dark skinned women.

Investigate those reasons.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Semantics is the name of the game. Period. If you aren't attracted it's not just based off of skin color. It's based off of things that involve that skin coloration. People need to stop being tripped up by the first thing there and dig deeper. There's a reason WHY you don't like this or that. There's a reason WHY you don't like dark skinned women.

Investigate those reasons.

I prefer darker women because I LOOOOVVVVEEEE dark nipples. I like them black like they were burnt in forest fire and you can't find that on too many light skin women.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I prefer darker women because I LOOOOVVVVEEEE dark nipples. I like them black like they were burnt in forest fire and you can't find that on too many light skin women.

With women ..... i don't know. I don't associate a preference really. My preferences with women tend to be more mental and physical. Character. And their shapes, how their faces look.

I have a thread with body types i like.

 

[sherminator]

This argument comes up all the time, and I hate that people take it to such extremes like if your not dating dark skin women or complementing dark skin women then somethings wrong with you, or you have self hate or your an uncle tom. Personally I treat it like this beauty and ugliness know no color lines, and you would not get mad at a person for liking a blue car or green car, so why get mad at the next person for liking a skin tone, I just don't like when people say ignorant shit like so-so look good for a dark skin or dark skin women generally look ugly, or on the flip tip some woman make it a bigger issue than need to be making a man feel bad for liking a light skinned woman,


People need to quit playing the victim like the minute a dark skinned woman steps outside her house she is getting bombarded by insults and verbal abuse, every dude I know has never said anything crazy about a dark-skinned or light skinned woman and most mature men don't speak ill of a skin tone, and the dudes that are, are you really worried about their opinion, everyone got talked about when they were growing up so are you going to let it define you or are you going to move past it and let you define your own terms of beauty

But I can't count how many women who turn down men because he might be a little heavy, or not driving an s500, or ect but no one talks on that.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

With women ..... i don't know. I don't associate a preference really. My preferences with women tend to be more mental and physical. Character. And their shapes, how their faces look.

I have a thread with body types i like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can get to character but it better be wrapped how I like and that wrapping better have some jet black nipples.

 

[Izayoi]

This argument comes up all the time, and I hate that people take it to such extremes like if your not dating dark skin women or complementing dark skin women then somethings wrong with you, or you have self hate or your an uncle tom. Personally I treat it like this beauty and ugliness know no color lines, and you would not get mad at a person for liking a blue car or green car, so why get mad at the next person for liking a skin tone, I just don't like when people say ignorant shit like so-so look good for a dark skin or dark skin women generally look ugly, or on the flip tip some woman make it a bigger issue than need to be making a man feel bad for liking a light skinned woman,


People need to quit playing the victim like the minute a dark skinned woman steps outside her house she is getting bombarded by insults and verbal abuse, every dude I know has never said anything crazy about a dark-skinned or light skinned woman and most mature men don't speak ill of a skin tone, and the dudes that are, are you really worried about their opinion, everyone got talked about when they were growing up so are you going to let it define you or are you going to move past it and let you define your own terms of beauty

But I can't count how many women who turn down men because he might be a little heavy, or not driving an s500, or ect but no one talks on that.

Great post Sherminator. I admit I love bronzey, peanut butter complexions on men and most of the men I've dated have been that tone or lighter but the absolute best looking man I've ever been with (face, body, hair, everything FINE) is darker than that and I think his skin tone is beautiful too. Everybody is entitled to their preferences but preferences shouldn't be blinders.

 

[Izayoi]

I prefer darker women because I LOOOOVVVVEEEE dark nipples. I like them black like they were burnt in forest fire and you can't find that on too many light skin women.

Wow!

 

[Midnight Studio Comics]

hmmmm... when I was younger in my middle school years, I really didn't care for darker skinned women. I always liked butterscotch to lighter complected women. Things change for men over a course of time. Preferences change as one matures.

Now regarding the topic a lil bit more, there have been bad representations of dark skin women for decades. And white society attributes that with exoticness. Women such as Grace Jones, are given by white media an ok because they look more centered as actual african american, versus the actuality of the era. A lot of white men like unattractive black women and call them exotic. The media has a way of brainwashing the masses into believeing what is acceptable.
Its true a lot of black women( dark to light ) get disgruntled over the perception of what is beautiful. Hell for almost a decade all you sisters prefered was darker skinned men. Its as if you all were looking for the most blue black burble negro in a yellow suit taht was kinda like morris chestnut. As long as women are introduced and allow media stereotypes to dictate what is percieved to be beautiful, your arguments will remain mute.

 

[Mo-Better]

Great post Sherminator. I admit I love bronzey, peanut butter complexions on men and most of the men I've dated have been that tone or lighter but the absolute best looking man I've ever been with (face, body, hair, everything FINE) is darker than that and I think his skin tone is beautiful too. Everybody is entitled to their preferences but preferences shouldn't be blinders.

You always manage to place things in their proper perspective. That statement says it all, further comments are unnecessary.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

hmmmm... when I was younger in my middle school years, I really didn't care for darker skinned women. I always liked butterscotch to lighter complected women. Things change for men over a course of time. Preferences change as one matures.

Now regarding the topic a lil bit more, there have been bad representations of dark skin women for decades. And white society attributes that with exoticness. Women such as Grace Jones, are given by white media an ok because they look more centered as actual african american, versus the actuality of the era. A lot of white men like unattractive black women and call them exotic. The media has a way of brainwashing the masses into believeing what is acceptable.
Its true a lot of black women( dark to light ) get disgruntled over the perception of what is beautiful. Hell for almost a decade all you sisters prefered was darker skinned men. Its as if you all were looking for the most blue black burble negro in a yellow suit taht was kinda like morris chestnut. As long as women are introduced and allow media stereotypes to dictate what is percieved to be beautiful, your arguments will remain mute.

Are you speaking for men....or women thinking how they themselves should be percieved?

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

People like what they like and there's nothing more you can say or do..../

 

[ShortyCumStain]

I loves me some pretty dark/brown skin, it actually happens to be my preference.

 

[mailboxpimp]

i only date dark skin women,,,,,

 

[Cross]

It always starts at home. My mother didn't buy my sister a White doll for most of her young childhood. Little shit like that at an early age is essential.

Yeah fam, moms didnt play that white doll bs either. I remember one Christmas we searched for hours to find my sister a black doll. I'm glad I wasnt exposed to this color bs when I was younger because it has and continues to destroy the self esteem of alot our children. I fight the good fight with you LS.

 

[Cross]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can get to character but it better be wrapped how I like and that wrapping better have some jet black nipples.

I also have an affinity for black ass nipples.

 

[melonpecan]

Yeah fam, moms didnt play that white doll bs either. I remember one Christmas we searched for hours to find my sister a black doll. I'm glad I wasnt exposed to this color bs when I was younger because it has and continues to destroy the self esteem of alot our children. I fight the good fight with you LS.