BGOL Parents: Do you keep your kids success private?

Randomly with family.

My neighbors know I value academics over pop warner. I rarely see their kids at award ceremonies.
 
hell naw....i tell the world.....
if people hate.....then oh well.....some are gonna hate regardless.
my youngest hates it if she doesn't make all A's on her report card.
getting a B will make her flip. I was the same way in school...
and i was glad my mom kept pushing me to excel in school.
 
It depends on what and how often

I share what is worth sharing - like if they win a championship title. Not just that highlight video

I never share academic accomplishments cos I expect them to win those. But if it's a graduation (high school/college) sure

Because I share only what makes sense to share I share infrequently
 
completely agree.

I posted her exploits before...

she was also a BIG supporter of the prom in elementary school and somehow SHE also bought a matching dress for herself.

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?p=15242513#post15242513

I am generally private about those things anyway but I also feel like the MORE you do PUBLIC adulation it can have the REVERSE effect. Because some kids can take failure REALLY hard and can't differentiate a low mark on ONE test compared to failing for the year.

Also then you expose them to haters...like I mentioned earlier another parent was JEALOUS of my kid who is 5 years old!!! She damn near wanted her grades recalculated.

smh horrible. Horrible horrible horrible. That's some real fuck shit when you're jealous of a CHILD. That's some shit you just need to go somewhere and recalculate your whole LIFE. At the oldest daughters prom, there were 2 moms there with matching dresses with their daughters. At the damn prom. These women trying to relive their fucked up ass yesteryears.

As for the flip effect. I get it. It's definitely something to watch for. There needs to be balance so they don't push themselves into a tizzy, and break out in tears over a failure. Teaching them how to handle it and teaching them to use every set back as fuel is a very tough thing. Our oldest does it pretty well. Our 3rd oldest boy... not so much.
 
this thread is stupid, everyone except for the loser introverts on bgol wants to be praised for doing a good job.
 
smh horrible. Horrible horrible horrible. That's some real fuck shit when you're jealous of a CHILD. That's some shit you just need to go somewhere and recalculate your whole LIFE. At the oldest daughters prom, there were 2 moms there with matching dresses with their daughters. At the damn prom. These women trying to relive their fucked up ass yesteryears.

As for the flip effect. I get it. It's definitely something to watch for. There needs to be balance so they don't push themselves into a tizzy, and break out in tears over a failure. Teaching them how to handle it and teaching them to use every set back as fuel is a very tough thing. Our oldest does it pretty well. Our 3rd oldest boy... not so much.

And I still see her from time to time

she LOVES that boy LOVES him...treats him like a king. so I know its coming form a place of love

but she was one of those women who put a little bit of men's cologne in that boys wash so he would smell good to the girls when he was in like Kindergarten...

And bragged on him all the time but when he was having problems?

SILENCE.

And that was one of the few fights I actually witnessed between them.

He basically said you need to focus more on the boys CHALLENGES and defeats

His disappointments

and then give him the tools to persevere and stand up to difficulty and hardships

To NOT just only praise the good

Because THEN you will expose him to people who will AWAIT his downfall.

And it will have nothing to do with the kid...

it will be because those people will want to see HER hurt.

On some jealousy envy schadenfreude stuff
 
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And I still see her from time to time

she LOVES that boy LOVES him...treats him like a king. so I know its coming form a place of love

but she was one of those women who put a little bit of men's cologne in that boys wash so he would smell good to the girls when he was in like Kindergarten...

And bragged on him all the time but when he was having problems?

SILENCE.

And that was one of the few fights I actually witnessed between them.

He basically said you need to focus more on the boys CHALLENGES and defeats and disappoints and give him the tools to persevere and stand up to a difficulty.

Not just only praise the good and also expose him to people who will await his downfall. And it will have nothing to do with the kid...

it will be because those people will want to see HER hurt.

smh One of those. Yeah the middle wife was like that about her son until Hubb set her straight. You can't dote on children like that. Especially boys.
 
Academic stuff I don't post cause my son is only 9 and I don't give a fuck what other people think.

I do post when he moves up in karate class, or when he gets swimming awards cause that's fun shit.

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Sent from my Nexus 5
Cosign.

I don't post my kids good grades because....... THEY SHOULD HAVE GOOD GRADES. I not boasting about shit that is expected, required, supported, and demanded.
 
Cosign.

I don't post my kids good grades because....... THEY SHOULD HAVE GOOD GRADES. I not boasting about shit that is expected, required, supported, and demanded.
Kids like to be praised for doing a good job, don't be that asshole who shrugs off your kids when they get good grades.
 

I get it..believe me I do...but for me..it's not that deep. My son is already reading above grade level and he said today that he thinks he can stop and I told him "No sir, you will keep going" Same thing goes for me when I talk about him..its not that i'm trying to downplay, but i want him to understand that he can not settle in this world...he has to keep pushing..keep exceeding expectations because less will be expected of him because he's a black male...
 
I get it..believe me I do...but for me..it's not that deep. My son is already reading above grade level and he said today that he thinks he can stop and I told him "No sir, you will keep going" Same thing goes for me when I talk about him..its not that i'm trying to downplay, but i want him to understand that he can not settle in this world...he has to keep pushing..keep exceeding expectations because less will be expected of him because he's a black male...

Good. But, I don't think you understood my post.

I was pointing out where the reluctance to do so originated from.

"Growing up I hated winning awards and stuff and my parents would never tell anyone really."
 
Good. But, I don't think you understood my post.

I was pointing out where the reluctance to do so originated from.

"Growing up I hated winning awards and stuff and my parents would never tell anyone really."

Yeah...but I'm not sure why that would prevent parents from downplaying what their kids do today. I not black parents that put EVERYTHING that their kids do on some sort of social media. I think it's a lot closer than going all the way back to slavery times. Some parents did it because their parents didn't do it..
 
Growing up I hated winning awards and stuff and my parents would never tell anyone really.
But other family and friends would constantly be bragging about their own kids.
Recently my kids have won a few awards and I'm torn
Recently after winning a school award I actually caught some parents hating not realizing it was MY kid.
These white people crazy foul talking slick lucky her teacher heard and checked them.
so I wanted to know how the fam handles things like this.
Do you talk about your kids accomplishments?
Post their stuff on facebook etc?
Or are you completely private?


I told my kid accomplishments once and talked him up.. 3days later i was called to his school, at the bus stop a lady pointed him out with a few of his friends.. They stumped sum kid in the snow... He got 3 day in-school suspension... After that day, I never bragged on him again!!! As a matter of fact, I never said anything about any of my kids..
 
me and my ex made an agreement outside of my side of the family not to broadcast our kids accomplishments, one her side of the family is literally fucked up, parents on down to the kids with no future, nor did we ever allow anything about them to be on social media until they were 18. but now yeah i broadcast whenever i can how my oldest is graduating law school this year and how my youngest is med school bound
 
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