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Are niggas out here really depressed like that??

YoungSinister

YoungSinister

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Saw a homie from high school the other day at the gas station. We stood outside catching up for a few minutes. Nigga was laughing with me, but he had the saddest look on his face.

I decided to reactivate my Facebook page and see how some cats were doing....man :smh:
So many cats had that depressed look in their eyes. Y’all know the look I’m talking about.

I always heard about depression being an issue in our community, but holy shit. I didn’t know it was like THAT. :smh:
 
Yeah, man. I got it bad. . Trying to fight thru it, but its tough. I'm not suicidal, but it's hard finding a reason to get out if bed in the morning. I'm on autopilot most times.

I got a situation with the law I'm hoping doesn't fuck me. Grew weed, not for any reason but to watch it grow. I didn't smoke it. Didn't sell it, but watching it grow gave me a feeling like, "I did that. It looks great"

I did find that the leaves from either the male or the female plant work really well in tea oh, and it helps you sleep. Just add some honey

I had one plant that was 8 feet tall, another that was 7 ft. Unfortunately they were both males so I chopped them, but adding 5 dozen whole eggs and a case of banana peels to the soil helped them grow like that. Half of the peels I put in the blender, to add nutrients sooner, while the rest would slow release.

It was really cool.

Didn't think I was hurting anyone or anything. Didn't know they'd throw a cultivation charge at me like I was Walter White.

I was just trying to cope.

It's hard, man. Just sadness like a fucking cloud.

I try to pretend I'm alright, but I'm struggling. I had to drop 25k on a lawyer. I just go money after refinancing my house to get out of debt and had to drop it on that? Just under half my annual salary.

I was JUST good. I had the Bill's paid and then...BOOM, this shit

They don't have veterans court in my city like they do in Akron or Cleveland, so they trying to hit me with an F2.

I'm like...man, what the fuck were you thinking? But I know why I did it. It doesn't make sense, but that's why I did it. Just trying to find a reason to get out of bed.

I know. Dumb fuck thing to do, but you'd be surprised shit people do just trying to cope with life. Just being unmotivated to do anything. Been sitting on these novels I'm trying to write for half a decade...shit, man. I cannot focus
 
Last edited:
Maybe they need Jesus in their lives...




















giphy.gif
 
godofwine said:
Yeah, man. I got it bad. . Trying to fight thru it, but its tough. I'm not suicidal, but it's hard finding a reason to get out if bed in the morning. I'm on autopilot most times.

I got a situation with the law I'm hoping doesn't fuck me. Grew weed, not for any reason but to watch it grow. I didn't smoke it. Didn't sell it, but watching it grow gave me a feeling like, "I did that. It looks great"

I did find that the leaves from either the male or the female plant work really well in tea oh, and it helps you sleep. Just add some honey

I had one plant that was 8 feet tall, another that was 7 ft. Unfortunately they were both males so I chopped them, but adding 5 dozen whole eggs and a case of banana peels to the soil helped them grow like that. Half of the peels I put in the blender, to add nutrients sooner, while the rest would slow release.

It was really cool.

Didn't think I was hurting anyone or anything. Didn't know they'd throw a cultivation charge at me like I was Walter White.

I was just trying to cope.

It's hard, man. Just sadness like a fucking cloud.

I try to pretend I'm alright, but I'm struggling. I had to drop 25k on a lawyer. I just go money after refinancing my house to get out of debt and had to drop it on that? Just under half my annual salary.

I was JUST good. I had the Bill's paid and then...BOOM, this shit

They don't have veterans court in my city like they do in Akron or Cleveland, so they trying to hit me with an F2.

I'm like...man, what the fuck were you thinking? But I know why I did it. It doesn't make sense, but that's why I did it. Just trying to find a reason to get out of bed.

I know. Dumb fuck thing to do, but you'd be surprised shit people do just trying to cope with life. Just being unmotivated to do anything. Been sitting on these novels I'm trying to write for half a decade...shit, man. I cannot focus
Click to expand...

7 & 8 feet?

source.gif


I wish you the best man!
 
Picasso said:
7 & 8 feet?

source.gif


I wish you the best man!
Click to expand...
Yeah, man. It was surprising. I was shocked it grew like that. Too bad they were both males. The joy and pride that stemmed from that was something else.

It gave me that reason I'd been searching for, but at the same time the plants were fucking demanding. Constantly needing water after I JUST watered their asses

Getting caught made me have to go the medication route and made me focus on my mental health issues, but I didn't need THIS kind of trouble. Shit
 
YoungSinister said:
Saw a homie from high school the other day at the gas station. We stood outside catching up for a few minutes. Nigga was laughing with me, but he had the saddest look on his face.

I decided to reactivate my Facebook page and see how some cats were doing....man :smh:
So many cats had that depressed look in their eyes. Y’all know the look I’m talking about.

I always heard about depression being an issue in our community, but holy shit. I didn’t know it was like THAT. :smh:
Click to expand...

Real shit... Shit ain't all sweet for everyone, and the truth is... Allot of people peaked in highschool and their entire existence since then has been simply maintaining to make it to next week. That shit can wear on a person, the shit goin on now ain't helping either.
 
godofwine said:
Yeah, man. It was surprising. I was shocked it grew like that. Too bad they were both males. The joy and pride that stemmed from that was something else.

It gave me that reason I'd been searching for, but at the same time the plants were fucking demanding. Constantly needing water after I JUST watered their asses

Getting caught made me have to go the medication route and made me focus on my mental health issues, but I didn't need THIS kind of trouble. Shit
Click to expand...

Man I hear you! I know seeing something grow made you feel like you were creating life in a sense so it was fulfilling.

Too bad it ended up being an issue:(
 
Honestly, I thought I was dealing with depression late last year because I was struggling in an academic environment. My girl explained to me that I was suffering from “imposter syndrome”. She was right.
 
APOPHIS said:
See 'em. Dap it up. Keep it moving.

In most cases, the past is not worth revisiting nor discussing. Move on, bruh.
Don't let other's states of being occupy real estate in your mind.
Click to expand...
I hear you....
But it’s just like....damn

Mt. Yukon said:
Real shit... Shit ain't all sweet for everyone, and the truth is... Allot of people peaked in highschool and their entire existence since then has been simply maintaining to make it to next week. That shit can wear on a person, the shit goin on now ain't helping either.
Click to expand...
Shit is crazy...


godofwine said:
Yeah, man. It was surprising. I was shocked it grew like that. Too bad they were both males. The joy and pride that stemmed from that was something else.

It gave me that reason I'd been searching for, but at the same time the plants were fucking demanding. Constantly needing water after I JUST watered their asses

Getting caught made me have to go the medication route and made me focus on my mental health issues, but I didn't need THIS kind of trouble. Shit
Click to expand...
How’d you get caught?
 
Last edited:
Rah said:
Honestly, I thought I was dealing with depression late last year because I was struggling in an academic environment. My girl explained to me that I was suffering from “imposter syndrome”. She was right.
Click to expand...
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I think a lot black men are going through this
 
APOPHIS said:
See 'em. Dap it up. Keep it moving.

In most cases, the past is not worth revisiting nor discussing. Move on, bruh.
Don't let other's states of being occupy real estate in your mind.
Click to expand...
yep cuz talking about shit and trying to help people with shit can't be a reasonable solution....

Does talk therapy help? (open question for the board)

I did one on one talk therapy for a couple of years and I think it works best if you get feedback more than just running on and on about shit in your life. People are looking for answers and in some cases, there really is an answer but most of the time it's just learning to deal with and live with the fucked up stuff that either you did or happened to you.

But when you're not getting any feedback it just feels like your gossiping on yourself. And that doesn't help at all and there were times where I felt like that... which is probably why I stopped going to it.

People in general never want to admit weakness but black men, in particular, feel like we can NEVER admit to weakness or deficiency in anything because being perceived as weak or soft gets you dominated and taken advantage of in whatever way you can think of... even if it's just getting clowned.

I know for a FACT that there are serious subjects that can't be tackled on this board because cats FEAR getting clowned for it. Think about that.

This isn't just a porn board its a place where we COMMUNICATE AND FELLOWSHIP with one another and if you post something serious or are trying to broach a topic that's sensitive and get clowned for it... it doesn't just make you shut down it makes other black people shut down because they saw what happened to you and something that could actually HELP a person or people even if it's just knowing that someone else is dealing with the issue too...all that gets STOPPED because some people on here want to act like the board is perpetual middle school homeroom.
 
godofwine said:
Yeah, man. I got it bad. . Trying to fight thru it, but its tough. I'm not suicidal, but it's hard finding a reason to get out if bed in the morning. I'm on autopilot most times.

I got a situation with the law I'm hoping doesn't fuck me. Grew weed, not for any reason but to watch it grow. I didn't smoke it. Didn't sell it, but watching it grow gave me a feeling like, "I did that. It looks great"

I did find that the leaves from either the male or the female plant work really well in tea oh, and it helps you sleep. Just add some honey

I had one plant that was 8 feet tall, another that was 7 ft. Unfortunately they were both males so I chopped them, but adding 5 dozen whole eggs and a case of banana peels to the soil helped them grow like that. Half of the peels I put in the blender, to add nutrients sooner, while the rest would slow release.

It was really cool.

Didn't think I was hurting anyone or anything. Didn't know they'd throw a cultivation charge at me like I was Walter White.

I was just trying to cope.

It's hard, man. Just sadness like a fucking cloud.

I try to pretend I'm alright, but I'm struggling. I had to drop 25k on a lawyer. I just go money after refinancing my house to get out of debt and had to drop it on that? Just under half my annual salary.

I was JUST good. I had the Bill's paid and then...BOOM, this shit

They don't have veterans court in my city like they do in Akron or Cleveland, so they trying to hit me with an F2.

I'm like...man, what the fuck were you thinking? But I know why I did it. It doesn't make sense, but that's why I did it. Just trying to find a reason to get out of bed.

I know. Dumb fuck thing to do, but you'd be surprised shit people do just trying to cope with life. Just being unmotivated to do anything. Been sitting on these novels I'm trying to write for half a decade...shit, man. I cannot focus
Click to expand...
How did u get caught??
 
yea its real big time i see it more in the younger gen- 30 and down...depressing and tons of mental illness,,i see in on ther face and
hear it in ther voice,,most have no way to cope with it nor can they go to a family memeber..and also jail for some in the hood is also
like a forum of therapy,,i would hear them say how much fun they had in there and all of the new people they meet but then reality
set's in and you will hear them say mann this shit out here is crazy unc whats a nigga to do..then i figured out why most of them are on
a blunt and hennessey diet every day and life is beating them down and fucking fast...and most i grew up with i dont even bother to make
convo with them cause i see'em almost every day hanging out at the liquor stores or out and about and all ways on that nigga slick shit
talm about its hard out here can u look out for a bro wit a few dollars i be like gott damm so thats why i dont even bother to look there way...
all you do is make the best of what life brings you..
 
Last edited:
godofwine said:
I forgot to pay my gas bill and was disconnected. Just got distracted after I paid my light bill. When they came out to turn it back on, the dude who came out saw the plants and called the cops

Fucking White dudes, man. I wasn't hurting shit. Was I DTM? Yeah, but fucking snitches, man.
Click to expand...

Isn’t weed legal in OH for Rx and recreational?
 
YoungSinister said:
Saw a homie from high school the other day at the gas station. We stood outside catching up for a few minutes. Nigga was laughing with me, but he had the saddest look on his face.

I decided to reactivate my Facebook page and see how some cats were doing....man :smh:
So many cats had that depressed look in their eyes. Y’all know the look I’m talking about.

I always heard about depression being an issue in our community, but holy shit. I didn’t know it was like THAT. :smh:
Click to expand...

It's a serious issue in every community. We aren't immune to depression and anxiety. I understand it's still taboo for black men to be vulnerable and to talk through their feelings/emotions, but we can't keep talking around what should be apparent. Many of us could use therapy. You see depression manifest more in younger generations because they're more open and honest about the shit they go through even when they struggle to find solutions.

This board is a good approximation of where things have gone and where they still need to go as far as the conversations we feel comfortable having with each other. We've evolved to a certain extent and I'm thankful for much of the insight brothers/sisters have provided over the years. But we still have work to do, particularly when it comes to helping ourselves.
 
If you dont believe in a higher power and all the promises that he made i would be depressed to
 
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geechiedan said:
yep cuz talking about shit and trying to help people with shit can't be a reasonable solution....

Does talk therapy help? (open question for the board)

I did one on one talk therapy for a couple of years and I think it works best if you get feedback more than just running on and on about shit in your life. People are looking for answers and in some cases, there really is an answer but most of the time it's just learning to deal with and live with the fucked up stuff that either you did or happened to you.

But when you're not getting any feedback it just feels like your gossiping on yourself. And that doesn't help at all and there were times where I felt like that... which is probably why I stopped going to it.

People in general never want to admit weakness but black men, in particular, feel like we can NEVER admit to weakness or deficiency in anything because being perceived as weak or soft gets you dominated and taken advantage of in whatever way you can think of... even if it's just getting clowned.

I know for a FACT that there are serious subjects that can't be tackled on this board because cats FEAR getting clowned for it. Think about that.

This isn't just a porn board its a place where we COMMUNICATE AND FELLOWSHIP with one another and if you post something serious or are trying to broach a topic that's sensitive and get clowned for it... it doesn't just make you shut down it makes other black people shut down because they saw what happened to you and something that could actually HELP a person or people even if it's just knowing that someone else is dealing with the issue too...all that gets STOPPED because some people on here want to act like the board is perpetual middle school homeroom.
Click to expand...

I think it used to be like that but I will say one thing that has changed from back in the day is (and it can be considered a gift and a curse) as the board has changed and a lot of old school members have left..there seems to be a more opening up of people here...prime example is this thread..dudes opening up about going through struggles...while early on in the board it was about posting picks and vids, talking shit, and ocking people and there was some advice threads, but everyone here came off as supermen...people clown now, but dudes here seem to be more sensitive now than back in the day..i was teenager and ive kinda "grown up" on this board so maybe it's just my perception has changed..
 
dade305 said:
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".

I think a lot black men are going through this
Click to expand...
You’re right, she explained that a lot of successful black men from modest upbringings experience imposter syndrome.
 
godofwine said:
Yeah, man. I got it bad. . Trying to fight thru it, but its tough. I'm not suicidal, but it's hard finding a reason to get out if bed in the morning. I'm on autopilot most times.

I got a situation with the law I'm hoping doesn't fuck me. Grew weed, not for any reason but to watch it grow. I didn't smoke it. Didn't sell it, but watching it grow gave me a feeling like, "I did that. It looks great"

I did find that the leaves from either the male or the female plant work really well in tea oh, and it helps you sleep. Just add some honey

I had one plant that was 8 feet tall, another that was 7 ft. Unfortunately they were both males so I chopped them, but adding 5 dozen whole eggs and a case of banana peels to the soil helped them grow like that. Half of the peels I put in the blender, to add nutrients sooner, while the rest would slow release.

It was really cool.

Didn't think I was hurting anyone or anything. Didn't know they'd throw a cultivation charge at me like I was Walter White.

I was just trying to cope.

It's hard, man. Just sadness like a fucking cloud.

I try to pretend I'm alright, but I'm struggling. I had to drop 25k on a lawyer. I just go money after refinancing my house to get out of debt and had to drop it on that? Just under half my annual salary.

I was JUST good. I had the Bill's paid and then...BOOM, this shit

They don't have veterans court in my city like they do in Akron or Cleveland, so they trying to hit me with an F2.

I'm like...man, what the fuck were you thinking? But I know why I did it. It doesn't make sense, but that's why I did it. Just trying to find a reason to get out of bed.

I know. Dumb fuck thing to do, but you'd be surprised shit people do just trying to cope with life. Just being unmotivated to do anything. Been sitting on these novels I'm trying to write for half a decade...shit, man. I cannot focus
Click to expand...
at that time your only purpose to move around and they fucked with it
 
Stoop gazing into
godofwine said:
Yeah, man. I got it bad. . Trying to fight thru it, but its tough. I'm not suicidal, but it's hard finding a reason to get out if bed in the morning. I'm on autopilot most times.

I got a situation with the law I'm hoping doesn't fuck me. Grew weed, not for any reason but to watch it grow. I didn't smoke it. Didn't sell it, but watching it grow gave me a feeling like, "I did that. It looks great"

I did find that the leaves from either the male or the female plant work really well in tea oh, and it helps you sleep. Just add some honey

I had one plant that was 8 feet tall, another that was 7 ft. Unfortunately they were both males so I chopped them, but adding 5 dozen whole eggs and a case of banana peels to the soil helped them grow like that. Half of the peels I put in the blender, to add nutrients sooner, while the rest would slow release.

It was really cool.

Didn't think I was hurting anyone or anything. Didn't know they'd throw a cultivation charge at me like I was Walter White.

I was just trying to cope.

It's hard, man. Just sadness like a fucking cloud.

I try to pretend I'm alright, but I'm struggling. I had to drop 25k on a lawyer. I just go money after refinancing my house to get out of debt and had to drop it on that? Just under half my annual salary.

I was JUST good. I had the Bill's paid and then...BOOM, this shit

They don't have veterans court in my city like they do in Akron or Cleveland, so they trying to hit me with an F2.

I'm like...man, what the fuck were you thinking? But I know why I did it. It doesn't make sense, but that's why I did it. Just trying to find a reason to get out of bed.

I know. Dumb fuck thing to do, but you'd be surprised shit people do just trying to cope with life. Just being unmotivated to do anything. Been sitting on these novels I'm trying to write for half a decade...shit, man. I cannot focus
Click to expand...


This mofo forgot what color he is.
 
yasky777 said:
Isn’t weed legal in OH for Rx and recreational?
Click to expand...
Yes, but they want to control all that. Growing it recreationally isn't allowed.

I had two legal guns, not connected to me growing the weed, just trying to learn how to shoot. I didn't shoot much in the Navy, so in talking to y'all and Isaiah Washington on twitter, y'all said I needed to arm up because shits getting bad out here (as he said, "Marines aren't gonna save you in the civilian world. You need to get you a piece and learn how to use it in a phone booth"

They tied that shit in. So in exchange for me not asking to re-weigh the weed, they dropped the gun charge which was mandatory time

Lawyer said prosecutors aren't seeking jail, but they want to stick me with a felony still. I'm not a threat, though but they dont GAF
 
godofwine said:
Ain't no way I forgot. It was a dumb fuck thing to do, but I know I am and will always be Black. FOH
Click to expand...


Lol but you do white shit?

Fuck that depression shit. Direct that energy to something you can build and enjoy for a long time, like a business. Shit go get your weed license.
 

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