Anyone here have kids in an "Inter-Religion" relationship???

[Im_Too_Cool]

This weekend i was with my girl at a baby christening. She happens to be Muslim and i'm Christian. She asked me "If we were to have a child...would you want him/her to have a christening???" now...thats something i would want to be done though im not really that religious but she was like her mother wouldn't want it to be done because she would want the kids to be raised Muslim. im pretty my fam (mainly my grandmother) would want my kid(s) raised Christian. Is anyone in a inter-religious relationship??? and if so how does that work for you guys? what are the issues you face or faced so far?

 

[Iron]

Bump. This sounds interesting.

 

[J Storm]

Fuck what the Grandparents think. Do you. Create a Trans-Religious Experience for them if you truly are Spiritual People.

Dogma cant raise your kids.

Im a Sufi, my Wifes a Christian and the Kids don't even know how to say "Allah Huwa Adl Al-Kullum" or "Jesus Christ" so everything is ay oh-kay.

 

[doe moe]

Having been in a very similar situation I can only offer you this advice. You and your wife must remain on the same page at all times. It's your marriage not her parents or yours for that matter. If your child is not raised muslim does that mean the grandparents will love them any less? We know the answer to that question, of course they will contuine to love the child regardless.

So the bottom line is this. As long as you and your wife agree on what direction to go in thats all that matters. To many times married couples get caught up in trying to please everyone else. All that matters is that you two are happy and that you two can live with your decision on how to raise the child and what religion you choose to do it in.

Your house! Your wife! You TWO call the shots. Never forget that!!!

 

[mc2]

Thats one thing I have thought about, and for that reason will only seriously date women with a christian background.

 

[younghustla]

Thats one thing I have thought about, and for that reason will only seriously date women with a christian background.

Co-Sign 100% ... You are "unequally yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Since you are not that spiritual smh, you better find a woman that is not spiritual as well. You are compromising over this issue and you will soon bend over backwards for her in other areas of the relationship.

 

[cocobeauty]

If you both are strong in your spiritual walk it can be difficult at times, but can also work as long as one don't try to convert the other.

I did this for a while, where as to he only attended Mosque(msp) every so often, and I try to attend church weekly, after a while when he started trying to get me to go to Mosque, it just wasn't something I felt comfortable with.

Good Luck with your relationship if this is someone you see as a potential life mate

 

[$pooky]

Fuck a religion...
Anyway you are the man. You lead your woman and your family to the standards you feel that should be kept.

If she don't wanna go that way, fuck that bitch. Find another that will...and there are others.

 

[kboogs]

Having been in a very similar situation I can only offer you this advice. You and your wife must remain on the same page at all times. It's your marriage not her parents or yours for that matter. If your child is not raised muslim does that mean the grandparents will love them any less? We know the answer to that question, of course they will contuine to love the child regardless.

So the bottom line is this. As long as you and your wife agree on what direction to go in thats all that matters. To many times married couples get caught up in trying to please everyone else. All that matters is that you two are happy and that you two can live with your decision on how to raise the child and what religion you choose to do it in.

Your house! Your wife! You TWO call the shots. Never forget that!!!

AMEEN!

 

[J Storm]

Co-Sign 100% ... You are "unequally yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Since you are not that spiritual smh, you better find a woman that is not spiritual as well. You are compromising over this issue and you will soon bend over backwards for her in other areas of the relationship.

That "YOKED" shit is Bullshit because my marriage is perfect and I don't believe Jesus is God.

Juanita Bynam and her Gay Husband were Yoked... and he Yoked her ass in the parking lot.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

I'm an atheist, my ex-wife is a United Pentecostal. She, her pastor, her mom, etc. tell the kids all about Jesus to the point where they got them believing he's a superhero or something.

Basically, every time they tell me something about god, heaven, and so forth. I just smile and say "really. who told you that?" When they tell me who I'll ask "was that in the bible? Where does it say that? You don't know? Why don't you ask your pastor where it says that." and so forth.

I can't stop them from going to church, but I can cause them to question what they've been taught. If they start questioning things and still decide to be Christians then more power to them. If they decide to not to so be it. My only hope is that they don't ever just believe something because reverend bishop so and so preached about it from his outline last week.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

Co-Sign 100% ... You are "unequally yoked" (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Since you are not that spiritual smh, you better find a woman that is not spiritual as well. You are compromising over this issue and you will soon bend over backwards for her in other areas of the relationship.

There are some who interpret this scripture to mean that people of different racial backgrounds should not be married either. I know one couple White/Filipino that was run out of town for "eloping" behind their pastor's back when he decided not to sanction their marriage for this very reason.

I think that if the bible was really inspired by a God for the purpose of religious instruction s/he would have made the directions a lot less vague and contradictory. Or at the very least that 'holy ghost' he give you would come with a built in bullshit detector.

 

[mcboob]

Man its 2007.

You shouldn't be teaching your kids ghost stories and ancient mythology.

 

[wiZe]

1. Interracial -> can work if...well...see #2 and #3.

2. Inter-cultural -> can work if one or both aren't strong in their own culture or come from a weak culture.

3. Inter-religion -> can work only if one or both don't take their religion seriously or know jack shit about it. Such as a man allowing his wife to dictate a religion to their children that is different than his own.

 

[Im_Too_Cool]

Man its 2007.

You shouldn't be teaching your kids ghost stories and ancient mythology.

Yea true. we talked again. i mean we both arent religious like that. i believe in a higher power but def dont believe everything in the bible is real. i hardly go to church nor does she. i was just like if we were to have kids we can bring them up to respect both religions and just not teach them the bullshit parts of each

 

[Rembrandt]

i see alot of you all seem to have issues with letting the woman do anything like "letting your wife teach a religion that is different than his own" i mean that shit seems real harsh to me.

but on the topic when it comes to it you have to make sure the grandparents would respect what you're all doing and not compete with each other to try and out religion one another. But it seems like if you two talk about the differences that you all actually follow, or have been brought up to believe in you should be able to be fine.

 

[cbm_redux]

I can't stop them from going to church...

That's where we differ. I stopped my ex from trying to indoctrinate my child into the cult of sweet baby jesus a decade ago.

 

[wiZe]

i see alot of you all seem to have issues with letting the woman do anything like "letting your wife teach a religion that is different than his own" i mean that shit seems real harsh to me.

I guess we'd have to get into a deeper discussion about the PURPOSE of religion, and how it relates community success and guiding kids in life whether you are around or not. Fam, don't let ANYONE indoctrinate your kids into any religion but your own. You can teach them about all religions but if you are serious about your own, respect other people's religion but also give the child no option but your own. Again, this is if you are serious. However, if you are a religious bullshitter like the fellow below then let people raise your child up into a religion different than yours.

ALTERNATIVE RESPONSE: Is religion only for communal success, only for personal success, or both? Is religion simply something needed as to have something to believe in, i.e. give hope when you have little or is religion meant to give you real guidance and teach the proper way to live your life?

Yea true. we talked again. i mean we both arent religious like that. i believe in a higher power but def dont believe everything in the bible is real. i hardly go to church nor does she. i was just like if we were to have kids we can bring them up to respect both religions and just not teach them the bullshit parts of each

You proved my point. Thanks. I think Kayanation put it best, and I paraphrase, bullshit students become bullshit teachers who create more bullshitters. And we wonder why the community is at an all time low.

 

[younghustla]

That "YOKED" shit is Bullshit because my marriage is perfect and I don't believe Jesus is God.

Juanita Bynam and her Gay Husband were Yoked... and he Yoked her ass in the parking lot.

I'm an atheist, my ex-wife is a United Pentecostal. She, her pastor, her mom, etc. tell the kids all about Jesus to the point where they got them believing he's a superhero or something.

Basically, every time they tell me something about god, heaven, and so forth. I just smile and say "really. who told you that?" When they tell me who I'll ask "was that in the bible? Where does it say that? You don't know? Why don't you ask your pastor where it says that." and so forth.

I can't stop them from going to church, but I can cause them to question what they've been taught. If they start questioning things and still decide to be Christians then more power to them. If they decide to not to so be it. My only hope is that they don't ever just believe something because reverend bishop so and so preached about it from his outline last week.

You both have the right to not believe. However, respect the fact that I do believe.

The bottom line is that this dude is in a situation where he is being hit with lots of female manipulation. If he falls for it, he is following instead of leading & his relationship is doomed.

 

[Warrior 7]

no Muslim female should be with a non Muslim man
obviously she doesn't take her shit serious
and you can do whatever you want with the kid

 

[outlaw]

You both have the right to not believe. However, respect the fact that I do believe.

The bottom line is that this dude is in a situation where he is being hit with lots of female manipulation. If he falls for it, he is following instead of leading & his relationship is doomed

Why are non-believers even speaking in this thread?
They knew when they read this title that this thread doesn't apply to them

 

[Dannyblueyes]

You both have the right to not believe. However, respect the fact that I do believe.

The bottom line is that this dude is in a situation where he is being hit with lots of female manipulation. If he falls for it, he is following instead of leading & his relationship is doomed.

You might have missed it when I said that she's my "ex-wife". She has custody of the kids, so I really don't have much of a say in the matter. I suppose I could fight for custody or tell the kids that mommy is full of shit, but I really don't think there would be a positive outcome.

My kids will eventually grow up and get to an age where they'll be forced to accept their faith on their own terms. In other words, they won't be going to church because their mom or their God told them to. They'll go, or not go, based on what they want to do. If I have given them serious reason to question what they learned in church at that point I'll consider my job well done.

Indoctrination is never thorough. Case in point my 4 siblings and I were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. Now that we've all grown up only one of us has anything to do with that church at all. We became old enough to see the blatant falsehoods, destructive lifestyles, and dysfunctional congregations that this church produced and stayed away from it. I believe my daughters will come to similar conclusions once they get older.

 

[BGLR1212000]

I took one for the team this weekend and let my girls family get my lil son christened in a Christian ceremony. I was raised Christian, but I don't really believe in that anymore, so I did it just to appease the folks. Nobody is gonna force any kind of religion on me, cuz I was RAISED in the church, and when I got good and damn grown, I came up with my own conclusions. Now when it comes to the kid, I won't force anything on him and when his grand-parents want to take him to church, he will go. But my aim for my son is to train him how to think independently and not just be a sheep. And when he comes of age, whatever he decides to run with, thats fine with me, because it's his life. As long as he's doing positive things, I don't care what religion he runs with.

 

[divine]

This weekend i was with my girl at a baby christening. She happens to be Muslim and i'm Christian. She asked me "If we were to have a child...would you want him/her to have a christening???" now...thats something i would want to be done though im not really that religious but she was like her mother wouldn't want it to be done because she would want the kids to be raised Muslim. im pretty my fam (mainly my grandmother) would want my kid(s) raised Christian. Is anyone in a inter-religious relationship??? and if so how does that work for you guys? what are the issues you face or faced so far?

Only advice I can give is leave that fairy tale religion shit out of it and raise your children the best you know how, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you get stuck...

 

[divine]

I took one for the team this weekend and let my girls family get my lil son christened in a Christian ceremony. I was raised Christian, but I don't really believe in that anymore, so I did it just to appease the folks. Nobody is gonna force any kind of religion on me, cuz I was RAISED in the church, and when I got good and damn grown, I came up with my own conclusions. Now when it comes to the kid, I won't force anything on him and when his grand-parents want to take him to church, he will go. But my aim for my son is to train him how to think independently and not just be a sheep. And when he comes of age, whatever he decides to run with, thats fine with me, because it's his life. As long as he's doing positive things, I don't care what religion he runs with.

Unfortunately you already started the process to force shit on your kid....

 

[BGLR1212000]

Unfortunately you already started the process to force shit on your kid....

you crazy as hell. Forcing someone to do something is them telling you that you don't want to do it, and then you telling them that they don't have a choice. My parents forced me to go to church wne I was little. They forced me to sing in the choir when I was little. My folks forced me to get my haircut when I was younger. Now I question God's existence and I wear dreds. Let the kids have some say so in their decisions coming up and they will be better off. He's a BABY now. He can't even fucking talk so he doesn't have a say so. His mother's side of the fam and my folks wanted to get him christened. I had no problem with that, cuz it don't affect anything whether he had the ceremony or not. My beef with the whole thing was, as a non-believer in the religion, I had to participate in the ceremony. I am not a closed minded person though, so I just looked at it from a cultural standpoint. If I was to go to Africa and visit a village for a couple of days, they may ask me to eat some things and engage in some religious practices that I don't fuck with. You have to understnad that you can't beat down what other people believe in, so if they ask you to do something, do it so you don't offend them. That's the grown up thing to do.

 

[Built4Life]

you crazy as hell. Forcing someone to do something is them telling you that you don't want to do it, and then you telling them that they don't have a choice. My parents forced me to go to church wne I was little. They forced me to sing in the choir when I was little. My folks forced me to get my haircut when I was younger. Now I question God's existence and I wear dreds. Let the kids have some say so in their decisions coming up and they will be better off. He's a BABY now. He can't even fucking talk so he doesn't have a say so. His mother's side of the fam and my folks wanted to get him christened. I had no problem with that, cuz it don't affect anything whether he had the ceremony or not. My beef with the whole thing was, as a non-believer in the religion, I had to participate in the ceremony. I am not a closed minded person though, so I just looked at it from a cultural standpoint. If I was to go to Africa and visit a village for a couple of days, they may ask me to eat some things and engage in some religious practices that I don't fuck with. You have to understnad that you can't beat down what other people believe in, so if they ask you to do something, do it so you don't offend them. That's the grown up thing to do.

In a way you have forced your kid because religion is all about indoctrination, but besides the point... I understand where you are coming from. There is an incredibale amount of social pressure for one to participate in reliigous ceremonies.

A big problem is that the dominant religious group never has a problem disrepsecting the beliefs of those who differ. You will always find yourself making concessions for others when they are not willing to make concessions for you.

 

[divine]

you crazy as hell. Forcing someone to do something is them telling you that you don't want to do it, and then you telling them that they don't have a choice. My parents forced me to go to church wne I was little. They forced me to sing in the choir when I was little. My folks forced me to get my haircut when I was younger. Now I question God's existence and I wear dreds. Let the kids have some say so in their decisions coming up and they will be better off. He's a BABY now. He can't even fucking talk so he doesn't have a say so. His mother's side of the fam and my folks wanted to get him christened. I had no problem with that, cuz it don't affect anything whether he had the ceremony or not. My beef with the whole thing was, as a non-believer in the religion, I had to participate in the ceremony. I am not a closed minded person though, so I just looked at it from a cultural standpoint. If I was to go to Africa and visit a village for a couple of days, they may ask me to eat some things and engage in some religious practices that I don't fuck with. You have to understnad that you can't beat down what other people believe in, so if they ask you to do something, do it so you don't offend them. That's the grown up thing to do.

re-read that, then let me know your definition of "forced"

 

[BGLR1212000]

re-read that, then let me know your definition of "forced"

If you would read the first line of the paragraph you quoted and the beginning of the second line, you would know my definition of forced.

 

[divine]

If you would read the first line of the paragraph you quoted and the beginning of the second line, you would know my definition of forced.

i feel ya...but did they also force you to get christianed/baptized etc? Or do you decide asd a baby you wanted to be christian?

point is, religion is forced on people and embedded in their brains by their parents. period. Only way to break the cycle is to break the cycle.

 

[mr_mantel_216]

This weekend i was with my girl at a baby christening. She happens to be Muslim and i'm Christian. She asked me "If we were to have a child...would you want him/her to have a christening???" now...thats something i would want to be done though im not really that religious but she was like her mother wouldn't want it to be done because she would want the kids to be raised Muslim. im pretty my fam (mainly my grandmother) would want my kid(s) raised Christian. Is anyone in a inter-religious relationship??? and if so how does that work for you guys? what are the issues you face or faced so far?

To simply answer your question; You will have to take an L and stop relationship now... like someone suggested, try dating seriously with someone who shares your beliefs.

Now, I am a muslim and there is some sort of guide for this situation for us.
*Best case senario; get the non-muslim partner to embrace Islam...
others are;
*The men are allowed to marry outside of religion if they are 100% sure the kids will be muslim and the wife won't try to impose her religion onto them.
*The women are encouraged not to marry outside the religion because she is expected to obey her husband and therefore will not have a say so in the kids' religion.

Hope things work out for ya'll. Peace.

 

[HoneyDip]

how bout yall just not raise the child religously... or yall decide on that together when the time comes

 

[Im_Too_Cool]

To simply answer your question; You will have to take an L and stop relationship now... like someone suggested, try dating seriously with someone who shares your beliefs.

Now, I am a muslim and there is some sort of guide for this situation for us.
*Best case senario; get the non-muslim partner to embrace Islam...
others are;
*The men are allowed to marry outside of religion if they are 100% sure the kids will be muslim and the wife won't try to impose her religion onto them.
*The women are encouraged not to marry outside the religion because she is expected to obey her husband and therefore will not have a say so in the kids' religion.

Hope things work out for ya'll. Peace.

We both aren't that religious. and she said her parents aren't that religious either. her mother would be the one to act like its a problem. she said her father wouldn't care that much about the whole religion thing cause he feels its kinda bullshit also. so i don't think this is a reason enough to get out of the relationship.

 

[Damn Right]

Man its 2007.

You shouldn't be teaching your kids ghost stories and ancient mythology.

you shouldn't be teaching your kids athiesm and how to become 'social progressives'

 

[Yahweh]

This weekend i was with my girl at a baby christening. She happens to be Muslim and i'm Christian. She asked me "If we were to have a child...would you want him/her to have a christening???" now...thats something i would want to be done though im not really that religious but she was like her mother wouldn't want it to be done because she would want the kids to be raised Muslim. im pretty my fam (mainly my grandmother) would want my kid(s) raised Christian. Is anyone in a inter-religious relationship??? and if so how does that work for you guys? what are the issues you face or faced so far?

If you turn your children's souls over to her false ways, they will be forever doomed, and you shall be damned for letting it happen. If you are at all concerned about your spiritual future and care for your children at all, you would find a woman of the right faith.