Anyone ever dated a chick thats been raped???

[hollywood310]

ive come to realize this too. i mean its WAYYY more common than people think. i just dont understand how u can convince yourself to fuck someone who dont want to fuck u. it just dont work for me

but alot of females are good at hiding that shit

yeah man its crazy, I don't think any of the girls I know have had any help dealing with it. They just try to shut it out. Which isn't good

 

[geechiedan]

Well... if she juxtapose her anger, bitterness, and distrust on to the male which she is with, then that is an issue. Wouldn't be any different than a person going through a bitter divorce and takes that baggage into the next relationship.

I wouldn't compare a person who has been sexually assaulted particularly at a young age with someone just going thru a relationship break up.

I'm not saying we should all be like dr phil with these women but too talk like what theyve been thru is something they need to suck up and move past if theyre going to be with you (at least thats how some of ya'll come off) is a bit insensitive to say the least.

 

[Deacs]

I wouldn't compare a person who has been sexually assaulted particularly at a young age with someone just going thru a relationship break up.

I'm not saying we should all be like dr phil with these women but too talk like what theyve been thru is something they need to suck up and move past if theyre going to be with you (at least thats how some of ya'll come off) is a bit insensitive to say the least.

Not taking away from their violation, I only speak for the treatment of the male which did not do it to them. Being abusive because of a trauma is not acceptable. Yes it is traumatic, yes it will stay with you if it is done, and yes one should be understanding... but with all wounds, you must find a way to heal it or it will fester. If she is unable to deal with the trauma of the rape and become abusive, then should the guy or gal accept that abuse because of whatever reason? No... understanding is one thing, accepting the justification of being abused is enabling and stupidity. No person would tell a woman its cool to be abused or understanding if the dude was.doing it for whatever reason, its the same thing.

Don't care how it sounds, this is life and it keeps moving. Nothing freezes in life, it can't be erased, so you must deal with it in one shape or form or you hinder all other relationships with the emotion. That's the truth of the matter and things get lost in translation with being too sensitive... not saying to solicit sex after the attack or something morbid as such, but now there is therapy, support groups, dojos, self defense classes, etc which are in place and free to help aide on the way, her mental and physical health should be her priority at all times.

 

[AgentCreed]

Its an insensitive world. At some point they r gonna have to deal with it either get long term therapy or commitment themselves to a looney bin....unless they r still getting raped/molested they need to move on to move forward

my cousin was molested by her step father my aunt didn't know until recently, my uncles found out and beat the shit outta dude and they didn't tell me until 3 months ago b/c with my temper i'd track dude down and put him in the ground. my cousin didn't tell anyone other than her bf b/c she decided not to be a victim anymore...and she hates tyler perry movies b/c they make it seem its ok to stay a victim and don't move forward...its not being insensitive its being realistic.. if u remain a victim u won't go forward, we have a lot of bitter women in our communities b/c dudes like u and tyler tell them its ok to be life long victims and anyone who disagrees is "insensitive" eventually EVERYONE needs to get over a lot of things. thats just the fact of living a progressive life.

I wouldn't compare a person who has been sexually assaulted particularly at a young age with someone just going thru a relationship break up.

I'm not saying we should all be like dr phil with these women but too talk like what theyve been thru is something they need to suck up and move past if theyre going to be with you (at least thats how some of ya'll come off) is a bit insensitive to say the least.

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[mc2]

unfortunately the question should be who has dated a chick who has not been raped

Some sick muthafukas out there.. "Hide your kids and hide your wife"

 

[Duece]

If your friend was fucking a chick in a dark room and you hid in the closet and yall switched up, that's rape and some niggas on here have admitted to doing that.

 

[creepin]

This and abortions really make it rough on a brotha.

 

[BigATLslim]

Not only have I dated a chick that has been raped, the majority of chics I have dealt with were either raped or molested. Sh!ts way more common than ya think.

 

[blackmarket]

Yeah and unfortunately the real title of this thread should be "Anyone ever dated any Inner City Black Women", cuz if you date enough you'll find a gang of victims. Rape penalties should be waaay stiffer and all those worthless bastards deserve every second of anal rape and torture they rightfully receive in prison for altering lives and rendering women virtually undateable.
Oh no, you read right goddamn you! Unless you want to be steeped in a cesspool of bullshit, a chick tell you shes been raped before you do the same thing you do when you get damaged goods from a store. I dont give a fuck how good things are going.
Dont get me wrong, I have the ultimate respect and fully support sisters who've survived that and I'm all for emotional outreach, public castrations, all that shit. I wish we didnt live in a world so thoroughly fucked by white supremacy that this what they face daily.
But date or marry em? You gotta be plum fucked outta yo mind. If you disagree go ahead and get your cape fitted to be Mr. Hero Sandwich and see where it gets you. While you're iceskating up the hill ask anyone whos worked in a strip club whats the one thing almost all strippers have in common.
And dudes protect your women and teach them how to handle themselves, cuz you damn sure dont wanna find out if your already existing relationship can withstand that shit

 

[Rick Ronson]

Damaged goods

 

[stopfakin83]

Yea 4 apparently

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[freshnclean]

I dated a couple chicks that been raped before. Some of them were cool, but some of them still had flashbacks. The women that still have issues really need professional counseling. Its a shame that professional counseling is frowned upon in the black community

What gets me mad is when some chicks lie about being raped. I knew this one girl that was a ho, molested by her pops, and if anyone ever found out about the guy she was fucking at the time, she would claim he raped her...I guess she didnt wanna look like a ho in the eyes of her family and friends, but thats not cool at all...One of the dudes she cried rape on got locked up over that

Even worse part about it is, if all these girls been raped, then who the hell is doing the raping?

Most kats probably have and don't know about it.

C/S...There are so many unreported rape cases out there it aint funny.............

 

[patscorpio]

my girlfriend was molested in high school...some nigga attacked her in the hallways and managed to get his hand down her pants before she was able to fight him off and get away..however when she reported what happened to the principal and her folks..her pops flipped the script talking about it was her fault, how she was a hoe, and she ruined that young man's life..she never forgave him over that shit

then she was nearly raped while she was at college....she was known as being difficult to get..so i guess some of the football players decided to teach her a lesson...so one of them invited her to watch a flick under a friend type of guise...she was slipped a roofie in her drink..now the plan was the team was going to run train on her when she was passed out...but one of the dudes who was on the team, who was her friend but not part of their plan, saved her from that..now my gf could have easily had the players involved kicked out but considering what she went through in the first story..she just kept silent

originally i would have never known about those 2 stories ever except something i said triggered it..you see me and her have been open on our sexual backgrounds...and i was telling her about how ive been part of trains before..she would cut me off abruptly every time i try to finish my story about them and she would have this weird tone in her voice..then one day we were hugged up and chillin after dinner she told me those stories and literally broke down in my arms for like 30 mins...serious demons indeed man

 

[kinglickk]

Hasn't every woman been raped?

my girlfriend was molested in high school...some nigga attacked her in the hallways and managed to get his hand down her pants before she was able to fight him off and get away..however when she reported what happened to the principal and her folks..her pops flipped the script talking about it was her fault, how she was a hoe, and she ruined that young man's life..she never forgave him over that shit

then she was nearly raped while she was at college....she was known as being difficult to get..so i guess some of the football players decided to teach her a lesson...so one of them invited her to watch a flick under a friend type of guise...she was slipped a roofie in her drink..now the plan was the team was going to run train on her when she was passed out...but one of the dudes who was on the team, who was her friend but not part of their plan, saved her from that..now my gf could have easily had the players involved kicked out but considering what she went through in the first story..she just kept silent

originally i would have never known about those 2 stories ever except something i said triggered it..you see me and her have been open on our sexual backgrounds...and i was telling her about how ive been part of trains before..she would cut me off abruptly every time i try to finish my story about them and she would have this weird tone in her voice..then one day we were hugged up and chillin after dinner she told me those stories and literally broke down in my arms for like 30 mins...serious demons indeed man

she sounds like one of then natural victims - shit always happen to them. She just needs to be aware of situations and avoid them.

Most kats probably have and don't know about it.

This is the issue right here. The absolute definition of rape is one thing and people's personal interpretation is another. Some females think that if they are thinking no but are verbally persuaded or physically stimulated into a physical act where they somewhat participate physically but not mentally, that rape has occurred. The line between consensual sex and non-consensual sex is very thin. If you are banging a broad and you are about to nutt and she changes her mind, asks you to stop and you continue, technically, rape occurs beyond the point of no/stop. Now you might be found innocent after the fact but the accusation can fuck you up!
Obvious rape where
- unknown ninja grabs a female and performs sex acts on her or forces her to perform on him
- drug use to incapacitate a female taking away her ability to given consent
- known ninja ignores no/stop and proceeds

these are clear cut but everything else is murky.
I know that if some females tries to give me pussy and the answer is no, it will never happen. Then again, most men can physically overpower a woman.
Best to get professional help for those who believe they have been. If a chick I was fucking with got raped, I would have to dump her ass cuz I don't wanna deal with no bullshit like that. Shit even if I were married, she'd be gone.

 

[dolemite73]

my girlfriend was molested in high school...some nigga attacked her in the hallways and managed to get his hand down her pants before she was able to fight him off and get away..however when she reported what happened to the principal and her folks..her pops flipped the script talking about it was her fault, how she was a hoe, and she ruined that young man's life..she never forgave him over that shit

then she was nearly raped while she was at college....she was known as being difficult to get..so i guess some of the football players decided to teach her a lesson...so one of them invited her to watch a flick under a friend type of guise...she was slipped a roofie in her drink..now the plan was the team was going to run train on her when she was passed out...but one of the dudes who was on the team, who was her friend but not part of their plan, saved her from that..now my gf could have easily had the players involved kicked out but considering what she went through in the first story..she just kept silent

originally i would have never known about those 2 stories ever except something i said triggered it..you see me and her have been open on our sexual backgrounds...and i was telling her about how ive been part of trains before..she would cut me off abruptly every time i try to finish my story about them and she would have this weird tone in her voice..then one day we were hugged up and chillin after dinner she told me those stories and literally broke down in my arms for like 30 mins...serious demons indeed man

As a father of a little girl, stories like this break my heart. How are you going to blame your babygirl for some other fucker's blatant sexual assault? Man, I wish some muthafucka would harm my hunny bunny. The nigga would be dead. My word on that.

 

[geechiedan]

I dated a couple chicks that been raped before. Some of them were cool, but some of them still had flashbacks. The women that still have issues really need professional counseling. Its a shame that professional counseling is frowned upon in the black community

and thats part of my point exactly..for abused people period theres no real support system in black community for them TO get well and passed it etc.. so they feel ostracized by the raped itself then feel further ostracized by being labeled damaged goods and therefore not to be dealt with. Why that comes off cold and unsympathetic is because alot of the males who make those statements got issues and shit themselves. You got dudes in here who have obvious and clear mommy issues and issues with women in general and issues on how to deal in a relationship (which is probably why they have relationships with women that don't last very long) yet talk as if she needs to get herself together before they deign to deal with her. a dented can rejecting another dented can..

What gets me mad is when some chicks lie about being raped. I knew this one girl that was a ho, molested by her pops, and if anyone ever found out about the guy she was fucking at the time, she would claim he raped her...I guess she didnt wanna look like a ho in the eyes of her family and friends, but thats not cool at all...One of the dudes she cried rape on got locked up over that

which is why claiming any sexual assault falsely is a heinous act on par with the act of rape itself.

Even worse part about it is, if all these girls been raped, then who the hell is doing the raping?

C/S...There are so many unreported rape cases out there it aint funny.............

family members and friends mostly.

 

[footluva]

i used to fuck this girl who was molested by her stepfather and she was so fucking freaky

 

[Understand My Story]

Almost everybody has. That sh!t is so widespread it's sickening. Some of the shit I've heard from chicks is just . A lot of chicks either block it out or just plain lie about it. But if you are perceptive enough you can pretty much figure it out.

 

[CharlieBrown]

I did.

But this chick was/is a pathological liar.

She said she was raped at 15 ( the real deal was she was fucking and got knocked up but didn't want to be thought of as another one of those 15 year old hoodrats with a baby).

So when you asked her a bit more there were more holes in her story than swiss cheese. How "the police were covering up evidence...and how the system did this...blah blah blah..."

Bitch, you were horny and 15 and got knocked up.

This girl lied so much her own dog wouldn't come when she called it...

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

I have.....almost every girl that ive dated admitted it eventually.

Too damn emotional for me the lot of them.

I understand that it was a situation that was traumatizing but its more than im willing to deal with.

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

Almost everybody has. That sh!t is so widespread it's sickening. Some of the shit I've heard from chicks is just . A lot of chicks either block it out or just plain lie about it. But if you are perceptive enough you can pretty much figure it out.

True


The one I deal with now is hyper sexual and when I used to get in dominate positions with her shed be uncomfortable. I asked her..she said no but I told her I knew she was.

4 months later she breaks down admitting it.

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

If your friend was fucking a chick in a dark room and you hid in the closet and yall switched up, that's rape and some niggas on here have admitted to doing that.

Nasty shit.

 

[geechiedan]

I did.

But this chick was/is a pathological liar.

She said she was raped at 15 ( the real deal was she was fucking and got knocked up but didn't want to be thought of as another one of those 15 year old hoodrats with a baby).

So when you asked her a bit more there were more holes in her story than swiss cheese. How "the police were covering up evidence...and how the system did this...blah blah blah..."

Bitch, you were horny and 15 and got knocked up.

This girl lied so much her own dog wouldn't come when she called it...

then in actuality you didn't date a chick who was raped...

you dated a chick who LIED about being raped...thats not what the thread is about

 

[geechiedan]

I have.....almost every girl that ive dated admitted it eventually.

Too damn emotional the lot of them.

yeah..they should just walk it off

this is what i'm talking about

 

[crazyace718]

Yep, I dated her when we were teenagers. She was raped by her older brother's best friend when she was a pre-teen. (Fatherless household) It went on for a year or so and she never told anybody. She became a cold stone freak from that experience, from the way she dressed to the way she acted around guys. She was always cheating on her boyfriends (including me) So I had to let her go for fear of STDs and I couldn't trust her.

Oh yeah, she ended up getting sent to Iraq during this last Gulf War and was raped over there too. They eventually sent her home early cause she had a breakdown. She seems to hang around more women than men now.

Stop frontin like you and your boys haven't taken the ass a few times....

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

yeah..they should just walk it off

this is what i'm talking about

Yeah cause thats what I meant in my post.


Lemme edit it for you though.

 

[Deacs]

yeah..they should just walk it off

this is what i'm talking about

No, seek professional help, counseling, self defense classes, and or weapons training.

But from what I gather from this thread is something entirely different. From what I understand, rape in.all.its forms is.so common place is that nearly a woman picked at.random to speak with has a large possibility of having rape or molestation happened to them before meeting you...

Damn

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

No, seek professional help, counseling, self defense classes, and or weapons training.

But from what I gather from this thread is something entirely different. From what I understand, rape in.all.its forms is.so common place is that nearly a woman picked at.random to speak with has a large possibility of having rape or molestation happened to them before meeting you...

Damn

I think hes being sarcastic based off of my post he quoted.

 

[cocobeauty]

Smmfh at some of you nothing ass niggas in here. Just damn

 

[captainjizz]

There is nothing ultimately wrong with dating a person that has been raped or molested. And for one to treat the female like she is trash or damaged good. Then you are in no way better than the ass hole that raped her. I understand that some man have a low tolerance to deal with females that have gone through that sort of tragedy. But the thing about it is if you are seriously trying to have a good relationship with that female you need to make sure first that the female has seeked some sort of counseling.

The reason why I say that is because I just recently got out of a relationship with a female that went through a traumatic event in her life. I thought that it was something that we could both worked through together. But unfortunately our relationship hit a stale mate and we couldnt move on and I seriously believe that the molestation had something to do with it. I didnt realize until it was too late that I couldnt be her Dr. Phil and her Denzel Washington at the same time. This issue was bigger than me.

Even though things ended the way they did. If she wanted to pick up where we left off in the future. I wouldnt be totally against that idea. But I definitely would like to make sure she saw some professional counseling before we started up again.

 

[mailboxpimp]

i've dated 2 before......one being my first wife. not a good look at all....especially the intimacy part of the relationship. they always seem to re-live the moment and the sex just becomes dull. one chick would always tear up and cry, especially if i would pound too hard or have her in a certain position.. its hard to have a relationship with a woman that has been violated in that way. many don't seek counseling or try to get some kinda help afterwards....so it not only affects them in a bad way,....but the person they're with as well.

samt is true for women that date / marry men that have been sexually abused / molested....

 

[The Plutonian]

i've dated 2 before......one being my first wife. not a good look at all....especially the intimacy part of the relationship. they always seem to re-live the moment and the sex just becomes dull. one chick would always tear up and cry, especially if i would pound too hard or have her in a certain position.. its hard to have a relationship with a woman that has been violated in that way. many don't seek counseling or try to get some kinda help afterwards....so it not only affects them in a bad way,....but the person they're with as well.

Yea i did and when it was over I was mentally raped. Too much bs yet they didnt want counseling so you become the fucking sponge for their asses.

 

[creepin]

What a lot of us males fail to understand is that the violations can really screw the boundaries of a woman up. Many of the issues(lying, supersensitivity, whorishness, even sexual orientation) you guys are seeing are symptoms of a larger issue. Many of us take advantage of these woman without our knowledge. And many of them really are not able to express their issues.

 

[Stix-N-Stonz]

Just ran as fast as I could from a chick last month. Found out her daddy fucked her, she got raped by some dudes and impregnated and STILL has the baby.... You could kind of see it in hindsight, the quirks and shit. Hell with that, I ran.

 

[J.E.T.S]

Just ran as fast as I could from a chick last month. Found out her daddy fucked her, she got raped by some dudes and impregnated and STILL has the baby.... You could kind of see it in hindsight, the quirks and shit. Hell with that, I ran.

You made the right decision in my opinion. She more than likely have major emotional issues. Not to mention how big of a whore and liar that some of the female rape victims become. Just can't trust them fam.