Agreed, that's a cop-out.
But don't be too sanctimonious though, bruh. Holla back after you've been married awhile and turned away from temptation. Not saying you'll fail but you'll be speaking from actualy experience, giving you some credibility.
BGOL/SOL Cheaters...Let me ask some ?'s
- Thread starter onyxfemme
- Start date
Agreed, that's a cop-out.
But don't be too sanctimonious though, bruh. Holla back after you've been married awhile and turned away from temptation. Not saying you'll fail but you'll be speaking from actualy experience, giving you some credibility.
You know-when I started this thread, I was hoping that there would be more posts like yours. Kudos to you....Very refreshing...VERY REFRESHING indeed!
Yeah, it sounds nice but it's supposed to, he's young and inexperienced. Those are always the most righteous people. I was definitely one. If I didn't know better I would think I typed that 10 years ago. Life is a bitch.
It's not a case of there not being many good men/women out there but there are no perfect people and even good people succumb to temptation. The way to handle that is by not worrying about what a perspective partner may or may not do but in knowing that ultimately, you'll be okay in any circumstance.
I dont know....It seems to me if the partner has shown you repeatedly that they aint shit, then you are going to wonder what they are doing and ultimately that is why you will need to leave the situation....Staying means that you are at risk of the same thing and constantly on the shitty end of a stick. With only a 10% chance that the person will be faithful....TRUST ME I KNOW THIS ALL TOO WELL.
So so true. . .
Girl it's like you want to have hope and faith that they will do right because they say they will....But in reality it's just the waiting game until they do it again.
Funny thing....Cheaters would go ape shit if they found out they were getting cheated on.
Funny thing....Cheaters would go ape shit if they found out they were getting cheated on.
Girl it's like you want to have hope and faith that they will do right because they say they will....But in reality it's just the waiting game until they do it again.
Funny thing....Cheaters would go ape shit if they found out they were getting cheated on.
Lemme ask you this:
Do you consider cheating a 'physical' act only? If not, how many women do YOU know that don't, and have never cheated, physically or non-physically?
JG
Oh believe me, i'm not trying to act like i'm "Holier than thou" Of course I can only speak off of my experiences. Being with the same girl for damn 7 years faithfully at such a young age has matured me and also let me know just how tough this road is going to be but I hear what you saying though. Marriage is another beast of its own.
1. Women don't count emotional cheating
2. Women don't count 1 night stands
I'm waiting on the responses from the females to your question.
Hope I don't have to wait in vain- Bob Marley
answer to #1 is no. 2 and 3 dont apply. if i think to look elsewhere that means i detached emotionally and physically.
15 years old.
Don't think I'm coming at you, I just want you to know going in that the game changes significantly once you're married. I thought I understood that and I was SO wrong. In your case, you and your girl are about to enter a period of life of major upheaval and that shit will be a test like a motherfucker.
Fascinating.
1. Women don't count emotional cheating
2. Women don't count 1 night stands
I'm waiting on the responses from the females to your question.
Hope I don't have to wait in vain- Bob Marley
WERD!!!
Seriously, I'm not saying than men and women CAN'T be monogamous. As humans we do all sorts of things that mitigate our 'primal' urges, OR elevate us beyond our animal instincts. Personally, I'm not interested in losing my animal instincts. It's in part what make me human and me.
But I KNOW monogamy in a cultural construction, not an innate pattern of behavior. So I challenge the convention.
Being idealistic is cool, but to be so and think so to the abdication of reality is fool hardy. I don't care how many thousands of years 'we' ATTEMPT to adhere to such a practice.
So far though, I hear CRICKETS.
JG
That's funny.Your animal instincts are part of what makes you human.
Sure, just like a horse is animal. I'm a human animal.
JG
Says it all..... We all men,love one fuck another..it is what it is
Yo somebody educate me on the "non-physical" acts of cheating. This has me intrigued.
What is Emotional Cheating?
Spouses Who Talk Intimately With Others are Committing Infidelity
Is having a friend of the opposite sex a sign of emotional infidelity? Yes, according to some psychologists. Here is a definition and 6 signs of emotional cheating.
What is emotional cheating? Though it may not seem like it, emotional infidelity is a betrayal of your partner - even though it’s not like a “real” affair with physical intimacy and intercourse.
Emotional infidelity doesn't necessarily break spoken vows, create unwanted pregnancies, or spread physical diseases. Emotional cheating can't always be spotted in traditional ways. But, emotional infidelity can be as devastating to a marriage or partnership as physical intimacy or unfaithfulness - if not more so.
Thus, determining the difference between flirting versus cheating is important to a healthy relationship.
How Emotional Cheating Starts
Most people don’t plan to be emotionally unfaithful. Emotional cheating starts whey they casually chat with coworkers or people they see regularly – and it grows into more than “just friends.” They go for lunches, take business trips, or make special efforts to see the person to whom they’re getting attached. They think about their “friend” more and more, until it becomes a definite emotional bond. Those are signs of emotional cheating.
Emotional Cheating and Internet Relationships
Internet relationships are more popular - and a possible threat to relationships! Emotional cheating can begins in chat rooms, forums, or discussion groups. "Just friends" evolves into private conversations and emotional infidelity.
In infidelity over the internet, “friends” may never meet. This means that relationships can flourish in public places like the office or in private places, like one’s own home. Bonds can grow and cheating can occur even when the coworker is at the other desk or the family is in the same room.
Anonymity is a potential problem with internet relationships and emotional infidelity. There’s greater intimacy because people are anonymous, free to share the deepest darkest parts of themselves (parts they're reluctant to share in person). Further, internet emotional infidelity allows people to build their own friends up into the most wonderful, kind, smart, and funny people in their minds because they haven’t met – and they certainly haven’t dealt with dirty socks, disciplining kids, or getting lost in a new city together. The relationship hasn't been tried or tested. Emotional cheating becomes a slippery slope when you're involved with a mysterious, attractive stranger.
Are women more susceptible to emotional cheating? Women are usually the ones who push the relationship further. Women want relationships to move from friendship to love, from computer to reality. Women tend to get more emotionally involved and are more emotionally invested than men. Men on the other hand see the internet relationships or emotional infidelity as part of their lives – a nice part, but just one part. Women envision soul mates or life partners; men are having fun.
Remember - this is a stereotype with regard to emotional cheating! There are men who do become highly emotionally involved with more distant women, both over the internet and in person. Bonds and emotional infidelity aren't the sole activities of either women or men.
Signs of Emotional Cheating
Emotional cheating happens when you:
Instead of assuming or vowing emotional cheating will never happen to you, spend time with your partner. Have open and honest discussions about your relationship. Have fun together; the more you make your partner happy, the happier you'll be!
Don’t forget what brought you together in the first place. “It’s so easy to forget why we fell in love,” says psychologist Gary Neuman, author of Why Men Cheat. Emotional cheating can make you forget why you love your partner in the first place! To stop infidelity, focus on why you first loved your partner.
Remember - this is a stereotype with regard to emotional cheating! There are men who do become highly emotionally involved with more distant women, both over the internet and in person. Bonds and emotional infidelity aren't the sole activities of either women or men.
Signs of Emotional Cheating
Emotional cheating happens when you:
- Discuss your partner and relationships with your “friend.” You share your fears, hopes, and dreams (this is emotional intimacy).
- Meet your “friend” for dinner or lunch without telling your partner.
- Keep your computer, files, and internet sites password-protected.
- Hide or are secretive about your life, relationships, and activities.
- Keep your partner waiting while you spend time with your “friend.”
- Stay in regular, intimate contact with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. Emotional cheating can spring from close relationships with past lovers.
Instead of assuming or vowing emotional cheating will never happen to you, spend time with your partner. Have open and honest discussions about your relationship. Have fun together; the more you make your partner happy, the happier you'll be!
Don’t forget what brought you together in the first place. “It’s so easy to forget why we fell in love,” says psychologist Gary Neuman, author of Why Men Cheat. Emotional cheating can make you forget why you love your partner in the first place! To stop infidelity, focus on why you first loved your partner.
^^^Bookmarked for some female comments
Friendship vs. Emotional Affair
Friendships are great. Emotional affairs are trouble. Here are some guidelines to determine if you're having an inappropriate relationship.
Feelings of attraction:
Friendship:
Friendship:
Friendship:
Friendships are great. Emotional affairs are trouble. Here are some guidelines to determine if you're having an inappropriate relationship.
Feelings of attraction:
Friendship:
- Feelings for your friend are completely platonic. That means you are not attracted to your friend and couldn't imagine having sex with them.
- You begin to have feelings of attraction for your friend. You wonder what it would be like to kiss or touch your friend.
Friendship:
- Your friend is a source of support, but you make it a point not to discuss the intricacies of your relationship.
- When you begin to share intimate or hurtful details of your relationship with one particular friend of the opposite sex, you are in the beginning stages of an emotional affair. Every relationship has ups and downs, but by relaying personal information on your significant other you are also betraying his or her trust.
Friendship:
- You look forward to seeing your friend at work or out socially, but ultimately look forward to going home to your partner.
- You spend more energy longing for your friend than you do your partner. When you're with your partner, you look forward to when you can get back to spending time with your friend.
Secrecy:
Friendship:
Your relationship with your friend is out in the open. Your partner knows when you meet for dinner and have lunch, and you are honest when asked how you two spent your time.
Emotional affair:
Friendship:
Friendship:
Friendship:
Friendship:
Emotional affairs can be especially harmful to new relationships. When you've first started dating, things are tentative and unsure, and can be easily derailed with misunderstandings. Asking a potential partner to accept an inappropriate friendship is a sure-fire way to end your new relationship before it even starts.
If you are having an emotional affair with the opposite sex, ask yourself why you want to continue. Are you afraid of a real relationship, and therefore are hesitant to end this emotional affair? Having a friend to fantasize about can be a crutch to hold you back from developing a healthy relationship.
Friendship:
Your relationship with your friend is out in the open. Your partner knows when you meet for dinner and have lunch, and you are honest when asked how you two spent your time.
Emotional affair:
- You tend to hide information on your friendship from your partner. You email or call each other in secret, and when asked how you two spent your time you have a tendency to lie.
Friendship:
- Your partner is supportive of spending time with your friend.
- Something about your friendship bothers your partner, and when he or she asks you about it you get uncomfortable or defensive.
Friendship:
- You daydream and fantasize about your new relationship, not your friend.
- You dream and fantasize about your friend, not your new relationship.
Friendship:
- Your friend knows you only too well, but you look forward to the day when your significant other will come to know your heart and soul even better.
- You believe that no matter how great the new person in your life is, he or she will never be able to know you quite like your friend does.
Friendship:
- When your friend goes on a date, you are happy for them and hope they find their match.
- You are jealous when your friend goes on a date. You find yourself hoping your friend will not find love and instead spend time with you.
Emotional affairs can be especially harmful to new relationships. When you've first started dating, things are tentative and unsure, and can be easily derailed with misunderstandings. Asking a potential partner to accept an inappropriate friendship is a sure-fire way to end your new relationship before it even starts.
If you are having an emotional affair with the opposite sex, ask yourself why you want to continue. Are you afraid of a real relationship, and therefore are hesitant to end this emotional affair? Having a friend to fantasize about can be a crutch to hold you back from developing a healthy relationship.
Kaya,
You are in here dropping CATASTROPHIC INFO, that is decimating the brittle moorings that underpin A LOT of folks 'REAL' notions of relationships . . . BOTH men and women.
TERRIFIC!!!
JG
You are in here dropping CATASTROPHIC INFO, that is decimating the brittle moorings that underpin A LOT of folks 'REAL' notions of relationships . . . BOTH men and women.
TERRIFIC!!!
JG
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