**Note—this blog will serve as a shot between the legs for a certain group of individuals (you know who you are). I wrote a similar post some time ago ( here). Needless to say some people love making excuses for their shortcomings. I don’t play that with black women and I sure as hell won’t play that with black men.
Do you know the MAIN difference between nerdy white guys and nerdy black men? I’ll tell you the difference: One lacks common fucking sense. They tend to have “book sense” but lack any type of common sense when it comes to the ways of the world and mankind. Can you guess which one? I’ll give you a hint…
One thing I’ve noticed about nerdy white men is they keep their eyes on the prize (money, power, and respect) and don’t bitch/complain about women overlooking them because they’re geeks. Sure they would like to have a social life, but white nerds are smart enough to know women will come later once they get their shit together and have something CONCRETE to offer a women (like security). Nerdy black men on the other hand are a different story…
Nerdy black men (like nerdy white men) know they are not in a position to be the ALPHA MAN women desire (with looks, money, and power) in their pre-success years yet these individuals believe women (mainly black women) should be falling all over them anyway. Not only should black women be falling all over them, but we should also stick by their sides while they are trying to move up in the world despite all their shortcomings. Why do they expect this? Because nerdy black men are supposedly the ONLY “good” black men left in the world (let them tell it). Black women (not just any black woman but the “dime” piece…more on this later) are supposed to forget that these individuals most often lack charisma (swagger or whatever you want to call it), lack any type of personality, are awkward as fuck, are uncomfortable in social settings (parties & clubs), are often times broke as hell, can’t dress, don’t know the first thing about “wooing” a woman, often times tend to be angry at the world for their inability to overcome being a social pariah, and they are generally unpleasant to be around.
I would equate this group of individuals with bitter black women. No one…and I do mean no one…wants to be around them. They don’t typically have many friends of either sex. Their presence is toxic and they can annoy the fuck out of anyone. They are easy enough to recognize. They typically come on my blog spewing the bullshit line, “Young black women only want thugs, hoodlums, and gangbangers.” Random thought—Who the hell still uses the term “gangbangers?”
Have you figured out which group lacks common sense yet?
I want you to think back to the time when you were in high school. In that time was there ever a popular girl (cheerleader, student body president, homecoming queen etc) in a relationship with a nerd/geek? I can honestly say NO! When I was in high school I was student body president and guess what? My boyfriend and high school sweetheart at the time was captain of the football team. As a popular pretty girl I was checking for a popular good-looking boy and vice versa. Why? Because in our high school social hierarchy he was the ALPHA MAN and I was the ALPHA WOMAN.
Julius Caesar could have had any woman he desired (though I believe he was married). Yet he set his sights on Cleopatra, the baddest woman in the land. Cleopatra could have any man she wanted, but she set her sights on the married Julius Caesar, the baddest emperor in the land. What does this tell us? Those at the top don’t usually go for those at the bottom (and it’s been that way for centuries). A nerd is at the bottom. A dime piece (who is at the top) is more than likely not going to go for a nerd. The only way a dime piece would go for a nerd is if he CHANGED his status (with money) or if he transformed from a nerd to man with presence. **Side note—For those of you who don’t know what the term “dime piece” means it is slang for a woman who is a TEN on the attractive measuring scale.
This type of thing should be COMMON SENSE, but a lot of nerdy black men don’t get it! I truly dislike this group of men. They love to blame black women for overlooking them, but refuse to take any responsibility for the reasons why women overlook them. Meanwhile black women like myself who hear their bullshit excuses/deflections sit back and think, “Knee-grow get the hell out of here! Just because I don’t want your anti-social ass doesn’t mean I like thugs. If I had a choice between you and a thug I would choose to be single.” Nerdy black men then turn around and say, “See that’s why we’re moving on to white women” as if anyone actually gives a damn! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I wouldn’t look twice at most (and I do mean most) of the black men I see walking around with white women so it’s no sweat off my back. Now if only white women could make this group of fuckers happy enough to shut the hell up about black women overlooking them.
After they jump the fence to white women they still sit around talking shit about black women. I mean damn…the grass must not be greener on the other side if you’re still pissed about me not giving you the time of day. Do you think I’m losing any sleep over you? I can tell you I’m not. Why not? Because I’m satisfied with my life and my guy! So, why not move on with your life and stop reminding black women that we never wanted you to begin with!
Then there is one question black nerds can NEVER answer…
Why the hell aren’t you pursuing/lusting after nerdy black women (your female counterparts) instead of dime pieces? It doesn’t matter what college you go to in this country. Chances are there are MORE black women walking around that campus than black men. Chances are a number of those black women are NERDS. Why aren’t nerdy black men beating down their door? Could it be they don’t find their female counterparts as appealing as the dime pieces? I think so. If black nerds won’t date a black female version of themselves how the hell do they figure a dime piece would date them?
When Bill Gates married he didn’t go out here and pull a Cindy Crawford supermodel type (though I’m sure with his money he could have). No, he went and pulled a female version of himself. His wife is just as brilliant and nerdy as he is, but the important thing is they compliment each other. They make each other happy. He didn’t go chasing waterfalls. He stuck to the rivers and the lakes that he was used to.
I’ll be honest I have overlooked nerdy black men and I make no apologies about it. “But Von, they could have been good black men.” Yes, they very well could have been “good” black men, but they were not my type. If I had a choice between one of these individuals and being single I would choose the latter. An anti-social individual is a TURN OFF. A man who doesn’t know how to talk to a woman is a TURN OFF. Their shortcomings far outweigh whatever “goodness” I’m supposed to see in them. I’ve been fortunate enough in my life that I’ve never had a problem getting a man. However, even if I had this issue I don’t think I would settle for bullshit. I suspect other black women feel the same way.
My question is why can’t nerdy black men DEVELOP the qualities women like? Women often times change to fit the standards of men, but men rarely do the same. Women are expected to take men, as they are whether they are good-looking, fat, short, or ugly. I’m going to tell black men the same thing I have told black women: If black women are overlooking you I suggest you take a GOOD LONG LOOK in the mirror because nine times out of ten that’s where the problem starts.
A black man once told me the secret to getting women (for him): “All I do is put on a blazer, splash on some cologne, make sure my haircut is fresh, and walk into any upscale club in Atlanta. The women come to me.” Thinking back to our conversation I believe every word he said. Times have changed. Women are throwing themselves at men. A good-looking black man can pick up women without any effort. The key words here are “good-looking.” This is where nerdy black men fall short. Like overweight black women they need to work on their physical image (in addition to their personality and lack of charisma). Like overweight black women they can’t accept reality. You can’t expect to attract what you yourself are not.
Also, there is something else troubling about this group of individuals. Nerdy black men tend to have a warped view of other black men. When pointing out the men black women supposedly choose over them they often point to thugs, hoodlums, and gangbangers as if these are the only examples of “other” black men. In their eyes if you’re a black man you are either an overlooked nerd/geek or a popular thug/hoodlum/gangbanger. There is no middle ground. Black men who find themselves in college but who are NOT nerds/social pariahs don’t exist with this group. Black men who don’t have a college education, but are good productive men don’t exist with this group. Black men who work blue collar jobs and who are good people don’t exist with this group. Black men who didn’t attend college, but still own businesses don’t exist with this group. No, with black nerds it’s either them or thugs. Because black women are not choosing them then we must all be choosing thugs…FALSE!
Anyone reading this blog knows I despise the thug/hoodlum population. I have never dated a thug. I have never been interested in a thug. I have never given a thug the time of day. I’m attracted to productive good-looking black men who are doing something with their lives. You don’t have to be a nerd to fit into that category. You don’t have to be college educated to fit into that category. The only requirement is that you have your shit together!
Ultimately I think this is another self-esteem issue…but with black men. Think about it…Black men have the advantage (over black women) right now in terms of dating/relationships/marriage. I imagine it must be a kick in the ego for any black man to be rejected by a black woman. I’m sure it affects the way they look at themselves if it continues to happen over and over again. Black women internalize low self-esteem (most of the time). Black men on the other hand lash out with bitter hatred at those they feel did them wrong. I can’t really say I sympathize with them. Like I said before black men have the advantage with the dating game. Why not step your game up? Why not transform yourself in order to pull a woman? When I say transform I mean put your best foot forward and become the total package (brains, looks, charisma, and money).
This might explain a lil more then it's attempting to do...
Colin alert
...please point that out for me
