Women, For the love of god, get it through your heads.

[Dr. Truth]

You need to let your man fuck other women. All you women wondering why your man is cheating? Because he likes pussy like all strait normal men. You can't keep him trapped with you only. If you open with him and let him fuck other women. You'll both always be happy.

I'm sick of reading about all these cheating men in the news, "but but how could he do this why". Simple he likes pussy. Like my bull Will Smith and Jada, they fuck who they want and live a happy life.

 

[Heist]

My counterpoint, to that is - then why get married?

I like having my druthers and having sex with many women.
I can love many women but I can't stand listening to just one woman.

Like meals, I may have a favorite - but I don't want to eat it every goddamn day. In complete fairness, I allow the women in my life to feel the same. You don't have to be with me all the time.

But if you're my "main," I need you to be there when I need you and vice versa.

As such I stay a bachelor. What's the sense of getting married or even getting married "with permission" from your wife?

Marriage is sort of an antiquated convention anyway. The courts view it as a business contract - not some sort of Godly bond.

 

[dHustla]

why get married, you say? Because a man may hold sacred the institution of family and wants all his kids to live under the same roof and have the same mother and father.....
Please don't confuse this with wanting the same woman all the time.

I'm not the biggest fan of marriage but it has a certain level of stability and structure associated with it. The kind of stability and structure that a man may need in the business world, or other situations. That need, in itself, should not dictate a man's total interests.

And it's not like it's one sided, the women should be able to do just as much, but with considerably more discretion. Pussy ain't nothin but meat on a bone. In that same vein, a man's sexual desires shouldn't affect his need for structure.

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

 

[Naha-Nago]

why get married, you say? Because a man may hold sacred the institution of family and wants all his kids to live under the same roof and have the same mother and father.....
Please don't confuse this with wanting the same woman all the time.

I'm not the biggest fan of marriage but it has a certain level of stability and structure associated with it. The kind of stability and structure that a man may need in the business world, or other situations. That need, in itself, should not dictate a man's total interests.

And it's not like it's one sided, the women should be able to do just as much, but with considerably more discretion. Pussy ain't nothin but meat on a bone. In that same vein, a man's sexual desires shouldn't affect his need for structure.

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

c/s

Any many who marries a woman JUST TO FUCK is a fool. That's why the five cent answer of "If you want to fuck other women why get married/ you should just leave if you want to fuck other chicks?" is obtuse in most cases...

*two cents*

 

[Dr. Truth]

why get married, you say? Because a man may hold sacred the institution of family and wants all his kids to live under the same roof and have the same mother and father.....
Please don't confuse this with wanting the same woman all the time.

I'm not the biggest fan of marriage but it has a certain level of stability and structure associated with it. The kind of stability and structure that a man may need in the business world, or other situations. That need, in itself, should not dictate a man's total interests.

And it's not like it's one sided, the women should be able to do just as much, but with considerably more discretion. Pussy ain't nothin but meat on a bone. In that same vein, a man's sexual desires shouldn't affect his need for structure.

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

Damn you're good. Exactly!

 

[onyxfemme]

Didnt even read it all but...If I can pick the slut and she is going to eat my pussy...Then sure he can fuck her

 

[Dr. Truth]

Didnt even read it all but...If I can pick the slut and she is going to eat my pussy...Then sure he can fuck her

I demand you post a photo.

 

[mcguyver]

Uh Oh!

 

[onyxfemme]

I demand you read the rules over here (1st warning) and then hit search....For my photos....Hint-confirmation and critique...
Thanks and have an AWESOME day

I demand you post a photo.

 

[Rudey]

Didnt even read it all but...If I can pick the slut and she is going to eat my pussy...Then sure he can fuck her

 

[dHustla]

Didnt even read it all but...If I can pick the slut and she is going to eat my pussy...Then sure he can fuck her

Why she gotta be a slut?

 

[capcomq]

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

Truth. To love one greater than self is the lack of self in one's love. Who here hasn't loved something, truly, and NOT wanted to share it? You don't have to loan anyone out, because you don't own anyone so what is this business of "letting"? Don't allowing cheating, allow freedom of choice. Just be good enough to be chosen in the end, again and again.

Didnt even read it all but...If I can pick the slut and she is going to eat my pussy...Then sure he can fuck her

Interesting my dear. You take on the subject would absolutely lead to more productive conversations about the future of a relationship. Negotiations would be an order.

 

[mawfuca]

5 stars. And plus 1 for this comment.

Didnt even read it all but...If I can pick the slut and she is going to eat my pussy...Then sure he can fuck her

 

[PrettyToney]

why get married, you say? Because a man may hold sacred the institution of family and wants all his kids to live under the same roof and have the same mother and father.....
Please don't confuse this with wanting the same woman all the time.

I'm not the biggest fan of marriage but it has a certain level of stability and structure associated with it. The kind of stability and structure that a man may need in the business world, or other situations. That need, in itself, should not dictate a man's total interests.

And it's not like it's one sided, the women should be able to do just as much, but with considerably more discretion. Pussy ain't nothin but meat on a bone. In that same vein, a man's sexual desires shouldn't affect his need for structure.

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

 

[SuchATease]

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

This is bullshit! So you telling me that I don't really love my man because I "deny" him the ability to sleep with other women? I can't "deny" a man to do anything with his life but what I can do is tell him what kind of relationship I want and he can either decide to roll with it or not. Who's to say that he will find happiness in sleeping with other women, once the orgasm is reached then what? There's no way I would allow him back into my life to supply his other needs of communication, love, stability! hell naw...All I ask is that if he wants to move on and see other people that he has enough respect to tell me.

Honestly, I think our society is oversexed! We place so much value on sleeping with this person and that person. And sometimes with no regards of our health in certain situations (ie. high STD rates) There are so many other things in the world worth focusing your energy on; traveling, getting a hobby, improving self etc.

I have a homeboy from college that ran through my dorm fucking everything in sight. Now he's almost 30 wants a relationship but can barely communicate with a female on an adult level. He'll prob. never get married and admitted to me that although it fun having sex with all these chicks if he could have just one women in his life he would be happier...

I'm not saying this is for everybody but really how much sex does one need and at one point do you have to think are you worshipping the pussy?

 

[Andeyhollawho]

This is bullshit! So you telling me that I don't really love my man because I "deny" him the ability to sleep with other women? I can't "deny" a man to do anything with his life but what I can do is tell him what kind of relationship I want and he can either decide to roll with it or not. Who's to say that he will find happiness in sleeping with other women, once the orgasm is reached then what? There's no way I would allow him back into my life to supply his other needs of communication, love, stability! hell naw...All I ask is that if he wants to move on and see other people that he has enough respect to tell me.

Honestly, I think our society is oversexed! We place so much value on sleeping with this person and that person. And sometimes with no regards of our health in certain situations (ie. high STD rates) There are so many other things in the world worth focusing your energy on; traveling, getting a hobby, improving self etc.

I have a homeboy from college that ran through my dorm fucking everything in sight. Now he's almost 30 wants a relationship but can barely communicate with a female on an adult level. He'll prob. never get married and admitted to me that although it fun having sex with all these chicks if he could have just one women in his life he would be happier...

I'm not saying this is for everybody but really how much sex does one need and at one point do you have to think are you worshipping the pussy?

I get what you are saying here. I think the point was made up top but not in the best way.

People get married because they love each other. There is no doubt in my mind that Tiger Woods loves his wife and children. He'd be a fool not to. The other women he was fucking he did not love. At all. And like you said once the nut was bust they became irrelevant to him in comparison to his wife.

Understand that nigga got caught slipping cause he's been doing this for years and his wife never found out. So if he would have kept being careful and she would have never found out would it have even mattered to her?

No it would not have. At all. So why could Tiger not have been able to come to his wife and say "You know what baby when I'm out on that road I might fool around from time to time but I love you and I will always come home to you and this will never affect our relationship." and she accepted it? Because that's exactly what he did anyway for years and it never hurt her. Now she hurt because she know but all women take the stance you do so that's why she DIDN'T know. Shit was all good just a week ago though.

Do you get what I'm saying? People don't communicate in relationships like that.

 

[Blunt]

Understand that nigga got caught slipping cause he's been doing this for years and his wife never found out. So if he would have kept being careful and she would have never found out would it have even mattered to her?

Put the crackpipe down.

 

[capcomq]

... So if he would have kept being careful and she would have never found out would it have even mattered to her?

No it would not have. At all. So why could Tiger not have been able to come to his wife and say "You know what baby when I'm out on that road I might fool around from time to time but I love you and I will always come home to you and this will never affect our relationship." and she accepted it? Because that's exactly what he did anyway for years and it never hurt her. Now she hurt because she know but all women take the stance you do so that's why she DIDN'T know. Shit was all good just a week ago though.

Do you get what I'm saying? People don't communicate in relationships like that.

Damn. We really do have some higher minds on this board. This, my brother is an excellent point. Thank you for putting in on this topic. I agree wholeheartedly "not knowing" allows people the denial, but the truth and it's acceptance will definitely set you free. The only being to answer to is the LORD above so what's with all these confinements? Respect is a two way street.

Does the average man or woman respect their spouse enough to consider a middle ground for such a concept? Like my girl said before, what's wrong with a mutual involvement for combined productivity and safety?

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Put the crackpipe down.

When she didn't know she was happy right? He didn't leave her did he? He didn't give her an STD did he? He came home and he handled his responsibility as a husband and a provider while he was fucking them other girls right?

The problem is the dishonesty to his wife not his conduct to her in his marriage. Not that he was creeping or leaving the house or having hoes call the house or disrespecting his wife and kids by bringing these hoes into the house.

He fucked around. And if she didn't know it would not have bothered her at all. But now she know and she pissed. Why couldn't he just have told her and avoided the drama? Because women don't want to hear that shit because they don't believe it's possible. It is if the two parties were honest about it.

 

[dHustla]

Just be good enough to be chosen in the end, again and again.

Great game, saved in my mental rolodex! I love exchanging game with other REAL PLAYAS.

Sanctuary!

 

[onyxfemme]

Because thats how we like em...Sluts=Throw-Away's!

Why she gotta be a slut?

 

[melonpecan]

This is a trick right?

 

[dHustla]

When she didn't know she was happy right? He didn't leave her did he? He didn't give her an STD did he? He came home and he handled his responsibility as a husband and a provider while he was fucking them other girls right?

The problem is the dishonesty to his wife not his conduct to her in his marriage. Not that he was creeping or leaving the house or having hoes call the house or disrespecting his wife and kids by bringing these hoes into the house.

He fucked around. And if she didn't know it would not have bothered her at all. But now she know and she pissed. Why couldn't he just have told her and avoided the drama? Because women don't want to hear that shit because they don't believe it's possible. It is if the two parties were honest about it.

Tabernacle

 

[yureeka9]

why get married, you say? Because a man may hold sacred the institution of family and wants all his kids to live under the same roof and have the same mother and father.....
Please don't confuse this with wanting the same woman all the time.

I'm not the biggest fan of marriage but it has a certain level of stability and structure associated with it. The kind of stability and structure that a man may need in the business world, or other situations. That need, in itself, should not dictate a man's total interests.

And it's not like it's one sided, the women should be able to do just as much, but with considerably more discretion. Pussy ain't nothin but meat on a bone. In that same vein, a man's sexual desires shouldn't affect his need for structure.

Also, what woman can really say that she loves her man and still deny him the happiness that he so desires? Is that really love?

Love is what Love does.

Good points! But I don't want children and I certainly don't need a woman around to give my life structure.

 

[SuchATease]

I get what you are saying here. I think the point was made up top but not in the best way.

People get married because they love each other. There is no doubt in my mind that Tiger Woods loves his wife and children. He'd be a fool not to. The other women he was fucking he did not love. At all. And like you said once the nut was bust they became irrelevant to him in comparison to his wife.

Understand that nigga got caught slipping cause he's been doing this for years and his wife never found out. So if he would have kept being careful and she would have never found out would it have even mattered to her?

No it would not have. At all. So why could Tiger not have been able to come to his wife and say "You know what baby when I'm out on that road I might fool around from time to time but I love you and I will always come home to you and this will never affect our relationship." and she accepted it? Because that's exactly what he did anyway for years and it never hurt her. Now she hurt because she know but all women take the stance you do so that's why she DIDN'T know. Shit was all good just a week ago though.

Do you get what I'm saying? People don't communicate in relationships like that.

I understand what you saying but Tiger is a special case. Tiger is worth millions of dollars - his wife (imo) stayed due to the structure of their prenup, the longer she stays the more money she gets. When we think about situations like his in real life normally the man is not only having sex with other women but he's making BABIES! and bringing back STD's. Elin isn't a fool by far she knows there's value in staying.

There are various reasons why a woman may stay with her husband knowing that he is sleeping outside of the marriage. I just believe that sex is just more than intercourse - and that is the woman in me. But at the same time I feel that a man who makes it a "priority" sleep with various women raises a red flad, I would even questioned his mental state.

It would hurt me to my hurt for my husband to come home one day and say "Baby I take care of home, I always come back home to you but I have this "need" to sleep with other women. The pussy just be calling me!! To me that's a sign of a weak man - not to be able to resist the temptation of sleeping with random women. It's a sign of an addiction doing the same thing expecting a diff. result (insanity). I couldn't look at this man the same, the trust would be gone, the respect would be gone and for that I would have to leave.

Why get married? just be a single man and have all the fun you want. Why break someone's heart because you are greedy? Or marry a woman who's okay with you sleeping with various women (good luck with finding a woman of value worth marrying who agrees with this)

 

[dHustla]

I understand what you saying but Tiger is a special case. Tiger is worth millions of dollars - his wife (imo) stayed due to the structure of their prenup, the longer she stays the more money she gets. When we think about situations like his in real life normally the man is not only having sex with other women but he's making BABIES! and bringing back STD's. Elin isn't a fool by far she knows there's value in staying.

There are various reasons why a woman may stay with her husband knowing that he is sleeping outside of the marriage. I just believe that sex is just more than intercourse - and that is the woman in me. But at the same time I feel that a man who makes it a "priority" sleep with various women raises a red flad, I would even questioned his mental state.

It would hurt me to my hurt for my husband to come home one day and say "Baby I take care of home, I always come back home to you but I have this "need" to sleep with other women. The pussy just be calling me!! To me that's a sign of a weak man - not to be able to resist the temptation of sleeping with random women. It's a sign of an addiction doing the same thing expecting a diff. result (insanity). I couldn't look at this man the same, the trust would be gone, the respect would be gone and for that I would have to leave.

Why get married? just be a single man and have all the fun you want. Why break someone's heart because you are greedy? Or marry a woman who's okay with you sleeping with various women (good luck with finding a woman of value worth marrying who agrees with this)

See, you bring a different component into the mix when you talk about a woman staying for money. To me, that's even worse. That's someone putting a price on themselves or their happiness. How is that even healthy for Elin, if that is what she is doing? If that's why she stayed, I hate to even think about why she came...... but you know what..... it don't even matter why she came if that's her reason for staying!

You talk about there may be various reasons why a woman may stay with her husband knowing that he's sleeping around... because she cares about him and cares about what he cares about.
She wants her man to be happy and to have everything that his heart desires.

You say you would question the mental state of a man that would make it a priority to sleep with various women, but dear, it is a part of a relationship; a large part. Sex is monumental part of my relations with women, mainly because I'm so good it and I feel like I/she would be doing myself/me a great injustice by not exercising my talent. This may sound like crap, but I'm not being conceited at all. I really enjoy sex, and so do all the women I'm with. It's not an addiction, its just me applying myself to fulfill my potential.

You wanna call a nigga a "weak man" because I choose not to exercise restraint? But baby, why should I? Why should I choose to be content with not being satisfied? So after I fuck my girl for 3 hours, she cums 5 times, she's exhausted, her pussy is swollen and sore, and her mouth hurts, I should just be ok with calling it a night even if I only came once? Let's be real...

I'm just saying... I didn't really start exploring this idea seriously until a woman I was with suggested it in order to give her a rest. She was probably just talking shit, but there is truth in all things comical and it made sense. We later talked about it because she said initially she thought she would get used to "my sessions" and be able to keep up, but she never could. She wanted to please me back, but just wasn't on my level physically.
Now are you saying that a man shouldn't want to be pleased in return? What kinda man can be ok with no reciprocity? What kinda woman can be ok with herself knowing she gives her partner no reciprocity?
This makes sense if sex is not a priority for you as much as it is for your man.... but if that's the case then y'all aren't equally yoked anyway.

You say it would hurt you for your husband to come home and say he has a need to sleep with various women, but it would hurt you even more for him to come home and say... "Baby, you just ain't doing it for me. This ain't me no more."

Why get married? refer to my previous post in this thread. A man can still want everything else that comes with marriage.
Again, I am not the biggest fan of marriage, but for me to even consider it, it would have to be with this kind of openness.

Women marry for security, why can men marry for security too. Except a different kind of security, I'm talking about the kind of security of knowing that my woman is not just willing, but WILL do any and everything it takes to GET ME RIGHT. Along with playing her part in the household.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

I understand what you saying but Tiger is a special case. Tiger is worth millions of dollars - his wife (imo) stayed due to the structure of their prenup, the longer she stays the more money she gets. When we think about situations like his in real life normally the man is not only having sex with other women but he's making BABIES! and bringing back STD's. Elin isn't a fool by far she knows there's value in staying.

There are various reasons why a woman may stay with her husband knowing that he is sleeping outside of the marriage. I just believe that sex is just more than intercourse - and that is the woman in me. But at the same time I feel that a man who makes it a "priority" sleep with various women raises a red flad, I would even questioned his mental state.

It would hurt me to my hurt for my husband to come home one day and say "Baby I take care of home, I always come back home to you but I have this "need" to sleep with other women. The pussy just be calling me!! To me that's a sign of a weak man - not to be able to resist the temptation of sleeping with random women. It's a sign of an addiction doing the same thing expecting a diff. result (insanity). I couldn't look at this man the same, the trust would be gone, the respect would be gone and for that I would have to leave.

Why get married? just be a single man and have all the fun you want. Why break someone's heart because you are greedy? Or marry a woman who's okay with you sleeping with various women (good luck with finding a woman of value worth marrying who agrees with this)

Aight take Tiger out. I thought I saw a reference to him in here but he clouds the discussion.

I'll take your last point first. Why get married? So you would date a person who said they were going to sleep around but not marry them? Why does that piece of paper change so much shit for so many women?

Marriage ain't shit. Commitment is. You could date somebody for ten years and it's cool but when you marry him it's not?

Seriously as a man I would like for my woman to come to me and say I'm going to sleep with somebody else but I promise you it won't affect us rather than catch some ball playing nigga deep up inside her in my bed one day.

At least then I could make a CHOICE as to if I want to stay or if I prefer to leave.

 

[Naha-Nago]

C/S.

*two cents*

See, you bring a different component into the mix when you talk about a woman staying for money. To me, that's even worse. That's someone putting a price on themselves or their happiness. How is that even healthy for Elin, if that is what she is doing? If that's why she stayed, I hate to even think about why she came...... but you know what..... it don't even matter why she came if that's her reason for staying!

You talk about there may be various reasons why a woman may stay with her husband knowing that he's sleeping around... because she cares about him and cares about what he cares about.
She wants her man to be happy and to have everything that his heart desires.

You say you would question the mental state of a man that would make it a priority to sleep with various women, but dear, it is a part of a relationship; a large part. Sex is monumental part of my relations with women, mainly because I'm so good it and I feel like I/she would be doing myself/me a great injustice by not exercising my talent. This may sound like crap, but I'm not being conceited at all. I really enjoy sex, and so do all the women I'm with. It's not an addiction, its just me applying myself to fulfill my potential.

You wanna call a nigga a "weak man" because I choose not to exercise restraint? But baby, why should I? Why should I choose to be content with not being satisfied? So after I fuck my girl for 3 hours, she cums 5 times, she's exhausted, her pussy is swollen and sore, and her mouth hurts, I should just be ok with calling it a night even if I only came once? Let's be real...

I'm just saying... I didn't really start exploring this idea seriously until a woman I was with suggested it in order to give her a rest. She was probably just talking shit, but there is truth in all things comical and it made sense. We later talked about it because she said initially she thought she would get used to "my sessions" and be able to keep up, but she never could. She wanted to please me back, but just wasn't on my level physically.
Now are you saying that a man shouldn't want to be pleased in return? What kinda man can be ok with no reciprocity? What kinda woman can be ok with herself knowing she gives her partner no reciprocity?
This makes sense if sex is not a priority for you as much as it is for your man.... but if that's the case then y'all aren't equally yoked anyway.

You say it would hurt you for your husband to come home and say he has a need to sleep with various women, but it would hurt you even more for him to come home and say... "Baby, you just ain't doing it for me. This ain't me no more."

Why get married? refer to my previous post in this thread. A man can still want everything else that comes with marriage.
Again, I am not the biggest fan of marriage, but for me to even consider it, it would have to be with this kind of openness.

Women marry for security, why can men marry for security too. Except a different kind of security, I'm talking about the kind of security of knowing that my woman is not just willing, but WILL do any and everything it takes to GET ME RIGHT. Along with playing her part in the household.

 

[SuchATease]

See, you bring a different component into the mix when you talk about a woman staying for money. To me, that's even worse. That's someone putting a price on themselves or their happiness. How is that even healthy for Elin, if that is what she is doing? If that's why she stayed, I hate to even think about why she came...... but you know what..... it don't even matter why she came if that's her reason for staying!

You talk about there may be various reasons why a woman may stay with her husband knowing that he's sleeping around... because she cares about him and cares about what he cares about.
She wants her man to be happy and to have everything that his heart desires.

You say you would question the mental state of a man that would make it a priority to sleep with various women, but dear, it is a part of a relationship; a large part. Sex is monumental part of my relations with women, mainly because I'm so good it and I feel like I/she would be doing myself/me a great injustice by not exercising my talent. This may sound like crap, but I'm not being conceited at all. I really enjoy sex, and so do all the women I'm with. It's not an addiction, its just me applying myself to fulfill my potential.

You wanna call a nigga a "weak man" because I choose not to exercise restraint? But baby, why should I? Why should I choose to be content with not being satisfied? So after I fuck my girl for 3 hours, she cums 5 times, she's exhausted, her pussy is swollen and sore, and her mouth hurts, I should just be ok with calling it a night even if I only came once? Let's be real...

I'm just saying... I didn't really start exploring this idea seriously until a woman I was with suggested it in order to give her a rest. She was probably just talking shit, but there is truth in all things comical and it made sense. We later talked about it because she said initially she thought she would get used to "my sessions" and be able to keep up, but she never could. She wanted to please me back, but just wasn't on my level physically.
Now are you saying that a man shouldn't want to be pleased in return? What kinda man can be ok with no reciprocity? What kinda woman can be ok with herself knowing she gives her partner no reciprocity?
This makes sense if sex is not a priority for you as much as it is for your man.... but if that's the case then y'all aren't equally yoked anyway.

You say it would hurt you for your husband to come home and say he has a need to sleep with various women, but it would hurt you even more for him to come home and say... "Baby, you just ain't doing it for me. This ain't me no more."

Why get married? refer to my previous post in this thread. A man can still want everything else that comes with marriage.
Again, I am not the biggest fan of marriage, but for me to even consider it, it would have to be with this kind of openness.

Women marry for security, why can men marry for security too. Except a different kind of security, I'm talking about the kind of security of knowing that my woman is not just willing, but WILL do any and everything it takes to GET ME RIGHT. Along with playing her part in the household.

I hear what your saying but I just can't get with it. I'm not comfortable sharing my man in that capacity (being okay with him sleeping with other women) I honestly feel that when a man is sleeping with other women outside of his marriage he's allowing other things in his marriage to follow resentment, dishonesty etc. I as a woman like I said before couldn't respect my man if he did that.

And if my man came home and said "baby this aint working" my first reaction would be what can "we" do to make it better. If he felt that sleeping with other women would make him happy and will help him reach his full "sexual potential" then I'm out. There is no way I'm taking care of home while my man is giving his attention and affection elsewhere?! where is my reciprocity? should I just be satisfied that I have a husband? Now of course this prob. wouldn't apply in an open marriage but I'm not down with that either...

I need security and one of my main needs in my husband providing that security is that he values my life, health and sanity cause like I mentioned when you lay down with women imo it's more than just sex. And if you are giving her that good, good like you mentioned that can lead to attachment issues, anger etc. that can be taken out on my husband or myself from these very women who are providing him with something that he "needs"so badly....

 

[SuchATease]

Aight take Tiger out. I thought I saw a reference to him in here but he clouds the discussion.

I'll take your last point first. Why get married? So you would date a person who said they were going to sleep around but not marry them? Why does that piece of paper change so much shit for so many women?

Marriage ain't shit. Commitment is. You could date somebody for ten years and it's cool but when you marry him it's not?

Seriously as a man I would like for my woman to come to me and say I'm going to sleep with somebody else but I promise you it won't affect us rather than catch some ball playing nigga deep up inside her in my bed one day.

At least then I could make a CHOICE as to if I want to stay or if I prefer to leave.

No I wouldn't - I would be upfront with someone I'm dating and let them know what I'm looking for. If they aren't interested in having a committed relationship them I move on. I wouldn't waste time and energy in someone who doesn't want, what I want.

I agree with you committment matters a lot and I would prefer to be in a committed bf/bf relationship then a marriage that isn't committed.

And lastly I feel the same way you do - I would rather my SO/husband come to me and say they want out or want to sleep with other people before they do it. But how often does this really happen? But I know that once he decides to sleep with someone else EVERYTHING would change.

 

[Cleopatra_J]

Cheating once may be forgivable depending on the context of the relationship.. But how can you be in a committed relationship / marriage and truly NOT be bothered by youre spouse or significant other sleeping around? What is the point of an open marriage? If you wanted to screw around, stay single. Be up front that you're not into commitment and let the women (or men) make their choice to stay or not to say. I seriously believe that things are way too over sexed. Sex is everywhere, its being used to sell salads, sneakers, clothes, and entertainment. With sex being everywhere you look its hard to think of anything but that. However, sex is NOT everything. And if you're chasing sex you're going to miss out on a bunch of other important things in relationships and life.

And the idea of it being mutual? I have never met a man who truly loved his girl/woman/wife and said, "nah, its ok if she screws other dudes, because I screw other chicks." NEVEERRR !! How often has this double standard been imposed? Dude will be banging every sally, lisa, dawn, and lashawn but find out his girl kissed Jamal and dump the chick.

Safety? Condoms don't protect against all STDs and aren't 100% .. Stuff happens. Kissing can lead to Herpes.. and chances are if you're having sex so much with different people, you aren't thoroughly checking backgrounds ... so I don't see how these 'ideal' situations that are being described are ever really gonna last. Hit me up in 15 yrs and lemme know how they work out for you.

 

[Izayoi]

I mentioned when you lay down with women imo it's more than just sex. And if you are giving her that good, good like you mentioned that can lead to attachment issues, anger etc. that can be taken out on my husband or myself from these very women who are providing him with something that he "needs"so badly....

C/S. Women are rarely as detached as men when it comes to being sexually satisfied. Fastest way to some womens' hearts are via pussy. Big tall glass of Oxytocin and Dopamine, anyone?

And the idea of it being mutual? I have never met a man who truly loved his girl/woman/wife and said, "nah, its ok if she screws other dudes, because I screw other chicks." NEVEERRR !! How often has this double standard been imposed? Dude will be banging every sally, lisa, dawn, and lashawn but find out his girl kissed Jamal and dump the chick.

Safety? Condoms don't protect against all STDs and aren't 100% .. Stuff happens. Kissing can lead to Herpes.. and chances are if you're having sex so much with different people, you aren't thoroughly checking backgrounds

Excellent points all!

I've requested an open relationship before and been unequivocally DENIED. In retrospect, I'm glad. That made me have to make a real choice and commitment about what I wanted and who I wanted to be in my relationship.

This is a good discussion and I really appreciate the brothers' perspective on this.

I think sex is extremely important in a relationship and I've had to learn the hard way that if it's that important and you are going to be monogamous don't lie about your sex drive or what it takes to satisfy it. Whether it's variety, frequency, kink shit, etc you have to do the one thing people are often too scared and inexperienced to do = COMMUNICATE.

Andey I feel you, but honestly we don't know how Tiger's wife felt. If you have to be in denial to accept your spouse's lifestyle, then you haven't really accepted anything.

OF you just nasty.

 

[onyxfemme]

Izayoi-I know........

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Cheating once may be forgivable depending on the context of the relationship.. But how can you be in a committed relationship / marriage and truly NOT be bothered by youre spouse or significant other sleeping around? What is the point of an open marriage? If you wanted to screw around, stay single. Be up front that you're not into commitment and let the women (or men) make their choice to stay or not to say.

I'm not ignoring the rest of what you said but these two lines contradict for me and I don't understand why it doesn't for everybody who says them together like this.

Ok if you wanted to sleep around stay single. Stay single?

Nobody huh?

Ok when exactly do you STOP being single? Is it when you get that piece of paper? The certificate that says ok you two are now ultimately committed for the rest of your lives or until the divorce which ever comes first?

See I understand the part about being single and maybe you want to sleep with this guy you just met tonight for this one time and you are never going to see him again. That's cool cause you single right?

Or maybe you are "dating" this guy and but you are still identifying yourself as "single" so it's again ok if you sleep with a person here or there because really you two aren't "committed" yet.

Ok maybe you've been seeing him now for 3 years off and on because again you know...you're still "single" but now you're a little less single because now you want to work on being NOT single. But if you step out on him I mean he should forgive you right because you're not really "committed" your just working on it!

So when exactly does this "commitment" start? When is this not acceptable? Is it when you decide? When I decide? When we decide? When we are engaged? When we get married?

And I'm asking what is REALLY the difference between all these stages of "commitment" except the fact that at some point you have to CHOOSE to be committed?

 

[Izayoi]

So when exactly does this "commitment" start? When is this not acceptable? Is it when you decide? When I decide? When we decide? When we are engaged? When we get married?

And I'm asking what is REALLY the difference between all these stages of "commitment" except the fact that at some point you have to CHOOSE to be committed?

Keeping it provocative Andey. I see you.