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VOTE! Apocalypse Writing Contest

Your favorite story

  • A Brief Convo

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Ark Knight

    Votes: 2 13.3%

  • Community

    Votes: 4 26.7%

  • Desolate Fears

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Devil in the Detail

    Votes: 1 6.7%

  • Lycaon

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • The Long Walk

    Votes: 6 40.0%

  • The Ultimate Revenge

    Votes: 2 13.3%
  • Total voters
    15
  • Poll closed .
I'm going to redo Lycaon.......Im going to put all the shit I edited out

I had these two question in another thread but I guess nobody never looked at it
http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=410440&page=3


Does an editor tells the writer what type of changes was made or not.....I would hate to write a book and the editor didnt tell me what type of changes they made :smh:

Second does the writer have any say what type of stuff gets edit out of the book......
 
a. yes you get a list of the revisions (i forget the exact word for this) and things they want you to change... then you send that shit back to them and you guys go back and forth till theres a completed project...

b. Pick your battles... they send you a 30k advance... pick your battles cause in the end it's their book after that... but you do have some say here and there... especially if youre willing to give that 30k back lol
 
future2001 said:
Thanks man... it's great to create something and have people appreciate it...

That's one of the places I was going but I wanted people to find out for themselves... everyone will see the story in a different light... shit some people will see it as saying don't trust black people... but that's a story...
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The way you painted it was more like every man for himself and his group/family. I didn't get the "don't trust Black people" and anyone who did is extremely closed minded. Watch any apocalyptic movie and you see bedlam...shit, you saw it in Katrina. Also, you said that the virus attacked those who lacked melanin, it was that that led me to believe that his wife was White. Love knows no bounds. Love unconditional. It is beautiful.

Funny when you hear people say, "White people are the enemy" this and that. I remember being deployed and one of our guys called a White girl racist. "Oh, really...for real? You're gonna go there? My two kids are bi-racial. My fiance is Black. Do you want to come again with that bullshit. I give you crap because you are lazy as hell, not because you are Black. Idiot."

I laughed my ass off at that, even still.
 
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she's white...

I said some people could get that from it.. I let one of my white friends read it and that's what he said some people could percieve it as.

That's what I figured... closed minded... but that's what he was saying alot of people aren't opened minded and some aren't active thinkers if you get my drift.

And yes it's every man for himself... every group for themselves... especially when resources are tight.
 
future2001 said:
a. yes you get a list of the revisions (i forget the exact word for this) and things they want you to change... then you send that shit back to them and you guys go back and forth till theres a completed project...

b. Pick your battles... they send you a 30k advance... pick your battles cause in the end it's their book after that... but you do have some say here and there... especially if youre willing to give that 30k back lol
Click to expand...

I think thats gonna be my biggest problem when Im done with my book deciding should I get it published with a company or do it myself..

Do you sign some type of contract on the x amount of sequels should be made after the first one is successful :dunno:
 
I was thinking that she was either White or light skinned. So light in fact that she was affected. I didn't think at first about an interracial relationship. It is so frowned upon and rare to see in stories that it wasn't the first place I went.

With the limited detail a lot has to be assumed. This is the problem I am having. In the first story "The Hunters" I had the hunters touch their necks to change their speaking language. A couple of people go it, many said they missed it. The second one I added too much detail, in a way trying to overcompensate for the ones who may not get subtleties and ended up going over by 1000 words. Must learn balance. Here is an example from my first story

“Vous sont bien?” One of them said from about fifteen feet away. When it saw the look of confusion on Dorian’s face he was sure that the confusion was from the choice of language so he touched his neck.

“Esta bien?” He tried again still looking at Dorian. Dorian, though still terrified and disorientated, focused and realized that these things must be talking to him. He recognized bien. That meant good or well in Spanish, didn’t it? They were speaking Spanish? It had been almost seven years since he took Spanish in high school.

The hunter was just about to touch his neck again when he saw a look of recognition in the young one’s eyes so he continued. “Debe ser más cuidadoso”.

Dorian then scooted back as far as he could until his back was up against a tree. “Don…don’t hurt me”, he pleaded. From his position on the ground he was at their level. Up close these things looked differently than he thought they did from a distance. They were still at the most two feet tall, but their bodies, although muscular, were slighter than he thought when he’d first saw them. They didn’t seem thin, but they were toned for whatever they were. The heads were long, like an aardvark or an anteater, but with visible teeth. The eyes looked intelligent, as if there was real thought behind them.
The hunter looked at his companions and said with a smirk after touching his neck once more, “English. I should have known that”. His companions seemed to get a quiet laugh of out it, too.
 
Someone said my story didn't move them. Ahhh well.

And yea I was saying something with the we are the enemy line.

My thing is (and I make mistakes) is to not tell too much but try and show the reader things. Some of my writer friends make you work hard to catch references and hints. Some are too blatant. It's a fine balance. You got to try to not confuse readers and yet not hand hold them. Plus their imaginations will fill in the blanks which makes the story that more compelling.
 
Another good rule is never think your first draft is your final draft. Most of the time if not all the time the first draft is shit.
 
mealstrom said:
Thanks so much for coming back and doing your reviews. :yes: :dance:
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Ah tis I good sir who must thank you all for making it worthwhile :yes:
godofwine said:
“Vous sont bien?” One of them said from about fifteen feet away. When it saw the look of confusion on Dorian’s face he was sure that the confusion was from the choice of language so he touched his neck.

The hunter was just about to touch his neck again when he saw a look of recognition in the young one’s eyes so he continued. “Debe ser más cuidadoso”.
Click to expand...

Okay so the technical problem with this is that it is not emphasized enough, though quirky, not quirky enough for miniature advanced mythical creatures.

The use of the word "neck" conjures up bare skin, and touched could be changed to pressed/tapped/toggled even searched. Nuances should be spelled out based on importance.
The Ultimate Revenge said:
His first time killing wasn’t even planned. He was ten then, and while playing in the river a Blue One surprised him. He chased the Blue One down before he could alert the rest. When the soldier fell, Key-Yonn began stabbing countless times until the body was barely recognizable. He then dragged the body to the river to keep his presence in the jungle unknown to the Blue Ones. The river animals would mask any damage that he did when they fed on the body. They would know in due time, but only when he was ready to alert them of an unknown danger of this island. He was never that careless again.
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The story gets a bit episodic here, which is actually a great device for a short story, but is a weapon that should be weilded carefully, moreso with a written tale than a montogue with film.
I think the time line needs some stank on it ie a suspenseful significance tied to it, like "the Blue Ones will blow the place up and bounce in 12 years at which time he would be 25, etc..." I don't know if anyone read "Ender's Game"

Also I would like to add that you have not evened the playing field for the villain. The more powerful a villain conversely makes the hero that more powerful, again must be used carefully, also makes good drama. Take for instance Indiana Jones and McGuyver, when you look at it they are both "Nerds who know a lil Karate" these cats are forced to Rise to the occasion against seemingly impossible odds. I don't feel like the Blue Ones really had me worried that the story was going to end unconventionally...I know I wrote a lot but do you get my drift?

Also I think I missed the Apocalypse tie in :dunno:
Still good story you have a masterful grasp on describing spatial action :yes:


These though long were all worth the read!!! Good Job fellow scribes :dance::dance::dance:

 
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assassin216 said:
I think thats gonna be my biggest problem when Im done with my book deciding should I get it published with a company or do it myself..

Do you sign some type of contract on the x amount of sequels should be made after the first one is successful :dunno:
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That depend. Big book deals are not the norm. Right now fantasy and urban fantasy is in and a few authors have gotten big multi million dollar bids on their books but that's like 5 out of the thousands of authors out there actively trying... so just focus on making your book great... and make sure it stands out.
 
Les W said:
Thanks to you now I am

I am signed up under "Muses Music" add me :dance:
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hahaha you know what I had planned on doing it from january when I first heard about it... but you know how things happen when you plan them early... you forget about them...until a few days ago im on another website and i see an add for it... I'm like oh shit.... lol signed up... only problem I don't really have a plot or anything... I started character sketching today though and started plotting some what...

nanowrimo is national novel writing month... which is november... your goal is to write a 50k word novel in one month using brand new ideas. You report your progress to the website and when you win you get a certificate. It's really about a. showing yourself you can write a novel and b. the experience of it all.

and Im glad I helped a fellow member... I'm signed up under Futureendeavorz... I'm going to add Music right now.

www.nanowrimo.org
 
hey les I hope you finish this year... apperantly not a lot of peopel finish compare to the number who sign up... I hope I have the stamina...

keyword it doesn't have to be the greatest novel... just finish it... you can edit it later..
 
Les W said:


Also I would like to add that you have not evened the playing field for the villain. The more powerful a villain conversely makes the hero that more powerful, again must be used carefully, also makes good drama. Take for instance Indiana Jones and McGuyver, when you look at it they are both "Nerds who know a lil Karate" these cats are forced to Rise to the occasion against seemingly impossible odds. I don't feel like the Blue Ones really had me worried that the story was going to end unconventionally...I know I wrote a lot but do you get my drift?

Also I think I missed the Apocalypse tie in :dunno:
Still good story you have a masterful grasp on describing spatial action :yes:


These though long were all worth the read!!! Good Job fellow scribes :dance::dance::dance:
Click to expand...

I admit to not making the Blue Ones tougher villains. I thought that the fact that they were warriors taking over a village of gatherers would be like the crips taking over a farm country in Iowa where they didn't have guns. I didn't want to give them guns because this being a kind of alien land guns would be more like the world WE live in. Spears and knives were my weapon of choice.

I thought about doing it kind of cliche-ish, but I hate those kind of movies that play out in a predictable way that you can walk out and miss the last 15-20 minutes of the movie and STILL be able to tell what happened. I thought it was apocalyptic because it was a hostile takeover of an alien group that almost completely wiped out the other out. The lead character was the last remaining male of his tribe. He had impossible odds just to survive for 11 years on his own. A normal 6 year old isn't going to survive on his own. The blue ones conquered and stayed and Key-Yonn, when he was older and stronger killed them all.

Character development is something that I must work on. I have to be able to paint the person or describe them to where you can see them. But how to do that in a short story, my story already went over by 1000 words. I don't think I described the blue ones at all, and the little hunters in the first story were merely described as walking anteaters. Not enough.
 
future2001 said:
hahaha you know what I had planned on doing it from january when I first heard about it... but you know how things happen when you plan them early... you forget about them...until a few days ago im on another website and i see an add for it... I'm like oh shit.... lol signed up... only problem I don't really have a plot or anything... I started character sketching today though and started plotting some what...

nanowrimo is national novel writing month... which is november... your goal is to write a 50k word novel in one month using brand new ideas. You report your progress to the website and when you win you get a certificate. It's really about a. showing yourself you can write a novel and b. the experience of it all.

and Im glad I helped a fellow member... I'm signed up under Futureendeavorz... I'm going to add Music right now.

www.nanowrimo.org
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Great idea I would love to join but I dont think I can do this and work on my own novel at the same time....
 
future2001 said:
hey les I hope you finish this year... apperantly not a lot of peopel finish compare to the number who sign up... I hope I have the stamina...

keyword it doesn't have to be the greatest novel... just finish it... you can edit it later..
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I feel I can do it. Yea December is editing month. I am going to try to do a rough outline tomorrow. This contest could be just what I need to put the writer's swagger back in my pen:dance:
godofwine said:
I admit to not making the Blue Ones tougher villains. I thought that the fact that they were warriors taking over a village of gatherers would be like the crips taking over a farm country in Iowa where they didn't have guns. I didn't want to give them guns because this being a kind of alien land guns would be more like the world WE live in. Spears and knives were my weapon of choice.

I thought about doing it kind of cliche-ish, but I hate those kind of movies that play out in a predictable way that you can walk out and miss the last 15-20 minutes of the movie and STILL be able to tell what happened. I thought it was apocalyptic because it was a hostile takeover of an alien group that almost completely wiped out the other out. The lead character was the last remaining male of his tribe. He had impossible odds just to survive for 11 years on his own. A normal 6 year old isn't going to survive on his own. The blue ones conquered and stayed and Key-Yonn, when he was older and stronger killed them all.

Character development is something that I must work on. I have to be able to paint the person or describe them to where you can see them. But how to do that in a short story, my story already went over by 1000 words. I don't think I described the blue ones at all, and the little hunters in the first story were merely described as walking anteaters. Not enough.
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Well you did a great job describing action. We all have strengths and weaknesses no matter how good or bad. If you get a chance check out "Story" By Robert McKee. I think the Audio book is on BGOL. In my amateur opinion you have a lot of the right ingredients to be an excellent popular writer
future2001 said:
hahaha you know what I had planned on doing it from january when I first heard about it... but you know how things happen when you plan them early... you forget about them...until a few days ago im on another website and i see an add for it... I'm like oh shit.... lol signed up... only problem I don't really have a plot or anything... I started character sketching today though and started plotting some what...

nanowrimo is national novel writing month... which is november... your goal is to write a 50k word novel in one month using brand new ideas. You report your progress to the website and when you win you get a certificate. It's really about a. showing yourself you can write a novel and b. the experience of it all.

and Im glad I helped a fellow member... I'm signed up under Futureendeavorz... I'm going to add Music right now.

www.nanowrimo.org
Click to expand...
:yes:
Yeah I added you too
 
assassin216 said:
So ill take it we wont have no more contests
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I'll join when I see them. This is the perfect place to practice. But this is for free and a lot of people aren't willing to do it for free. Some of these stories are good enough to turn in and make some money though, of course with a few subtle corrections. The Long Walk was one that I could see in a book. The Hunters (I hate to put my own in there but I thought that it was good enough and the violence is minimal and not directed toward the main characters) and The Beast is another. I remember when i was in elementary and junior high school when we would have books for English filled with 50-100 short stories. That could be a medium for us. Of my two, The Ultimate Revenge was too violent to be directed toward anybody but mature/young adults. Though it didn't contain vulgar language, only older readers could see the connection of violence begets more violence, but the retaliatory violence in defense of your home is acceptable.

If they have more contests I will join most of them. I'm still working on my Halloween story so if it drops I will post it.
 
godofwine said:
I'll join when I see them. This is the perfect place to practice. But this is for free and a lot of people aren't willing to do it for free. Some of these stories are good enough to turn in and make some money though, of course with a few subtle corrections. The Long Walk was one that I could see in a book. The Hunters (I hate to put my own in there but I thought that it was good enough and the violence is minimal and not directed toward the main characters) and The Beast is another. I remember when i was in elementary and junior high school when we would have books for English filled with 50-100 short stories. That could be a medium for us. Of my two, The Ultimate Revenge was too violent to be directed toward anybody but mature/young adults. Though it didn't contain vulgar language, only older readers could see the connection of violence begets more violence, but the retaliatory violence in defense of your home is acceptable.

If they have more contests I will join most of them. I'm still working on my Halloween story so if it drops I will post it.
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Trust me I'm shopping the long Walk around lol... edited it a little of course... got two rejections but that's norm in the short story game. It's a pain in the ass to get placed but I'll keep that one in circulation until it gets published.

And I ono I feel like we should only have authors who have competed host the contests... no offense to Mello but he kind of threw things off...
 
ps.. we're definetley having more contests... it's perfect practice...

you godofwine do nanowrimo this year... lol... thats perfect practice too.. nanowrimo= national novel writing month... www.nanowrimo.org you still can sign up...
 
future2001 said:
Trust me I'm shopping the long Walk around lol... edited it a little of course... got two rejections but that's norm in the short story game. It's a pain in the ass to get placed but I'll keep that one in circulation until it gets published.

And I ono I feel like we should only have authors who have competed host the contests... no offense to Mello but he kind of threw things off...
Click to expand...

I am going to try to shop "The Hunters". The other one was far too gory. Is this site a contest similar to what we have here? It's late and I just skimmed through it. How would I shop my story (I'll make corrections about the "touching of the throat vs. the neck and such).
 
godofwine said:
I am going to try to shop "The Hunters". The other one was far too gory. Is this site a contest similar to what we have here? It's late and I just skimmed through it. How would I shop my story (I'll make corrections about the "touching of the throat vs. the neck and such).
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No this is novel writing month so you have to write a novel in a month and turn it in... for word count verification... its a. practice... and b... to show you that you can do it... holloween got me behind so i have to write later after its done..

About shopping your story around... a. you can pick up the http://www.amazon.com/Novel-Short-Story-Writers-Market/dp/1582975434 or go to

Duotrope.com which is the online version of that but FREE... I use duotrope.

The only problem is the lenght of time it takes to get rejected or accepted... so it's best to have more than just one story ready for shopping around.

Meaning... KEEP WRITING!!!!
 
forgot to say 50k word novel... It's not about having the best novel.. its finishing it in 30 days... it shows you that a. you can do it... and b. you can do it....
 

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