Dead beat "dad"

[UrBoSS]

Any ladies have to go through child support proceedings??

I'm the child, my "father" has not paid child support since I was young. He now owes somewhere in the 5 figure range. I just read that apparently a law was passed in NYC limiting enforcement agencies' assistance to people like me, and parents.

My mother wants me to take his ass to court to collect what he owes. How the hell do I go about this?? Aside from hiring a private lawyer and end up having to pay for than if agencies such as SupportKids were to handle it...

HELP!

 

[doggish_098]

your an adult now so unless going through all the hassle of taking him to court to get what is owed is going to change your life in a major way i wouldnt worry about it at this point.

 

[UrBoSS]

It is otherwise I wouldn't bother with his ass. I have bills to pay as well as trying to get through school. It's time he stops being a lo life and trying to avoid what used to be 25 a week and steps to the plate.

 

[doggish_098]

Does support kids handle cases where the children are already adults? Like you said a private lawyer will cost you a lot.

 

[UrBoSS]

They don't specify. I don't think it really matters, the money is owed from the past, never paid. Fool has no license, don't work, can't own shit. He'd rather have his little street hustle than a real life.

Support kids can't help people in NYC anymore bc of the retarded ass law now.

 

[doggish_098]

They don't specify. I don't think it really matters, the money is owed from the past, never paid. Fool has no license, don't work, can't own shit. He'd rather have his little street hustle than a real life.

Support kids can't help people in NYC anymore bc of the retarded ass law now.

so basically if you fight the case you are sending another black man to jail. Just doesnt sound worth it to me

 

[UrBoSS]

No the PR man is sending himself to jail by being a loser. Why would you, in a way, defend a "man" that made the choice to fuck but not to pay a whole $80 a month for the kid he created? But he can go and spend that a day on his drugs?

 

[LoneStar29]

so basically if you fight the case you are sending another black man to jail. Just doesnt sound worth it to me

Why should she care about sending him to jail when he never cared to put food in her mouth???

To the OP I never realized adult children could collect on back child support ... aint there an age limit or something to it???

And I highly doubt you can do it without the help of a lawyer or that other program unless your dad decides to step up to the plate and just give you the money which by the sound of it he wont be doing anytime soon

 

[UrBoSS]

Thank you!!!!

I haven't seen anything saying we can't, if not my mother can do it but she's the one telling me to...she's a smartie so I listen lol.

All I care about is being able to continue school, I'm not money hungry, I want what is owed. Nothing wrong with that...

 

[doggish_098]

Why should she care about sending him to jail when he never cared to put food in her mouth???

To the OP I never realized adult children could collect on back child support ... aint there an age limit or something to it???

And I highly doubt you can do it without the help of a lawyer or that other program unless your dad decides to step up to the plate and just give you the money which by the sound of it he wont be doing anytime soon

I understand your point but why should she care to pursue the case if he really ain't got shit to give her or to loose? I can see if he was successful and living the life then get yours but if he aint got shit even if you win the case you wont get shit. If you are taking these actions out of spite that makes you no better than him.

 

[Chicutie]

I know the laws differ state to state. . . but if you are over 18 and still in college you can still get child support (here at least).

I still get child support checks and I'm 23. .

I'm really not sure how you would go about it though. . .

 

[UrBoSS]

I understand your point but why should she care to pursue the case if he really ain't got shit to give her or to loose? I can see if he was successful and living the life then get yours but if he aint got shit even if you win the case you wont get shit. If you are taking these actions out of spite that makes you no better than him.

If I knew I was getting nothing out of it then I wouldn't pursue it, obviously. I'm not that much of a fool. If he has no money explain how he has a house and car and manages to pay his bills and keep his hustle going? Shit, if I wanted him to pay for being an asshole I'd just snuff him steal his shit and call it a day.

I know the laws differ state to state. . . but if you are over 18 and still in college you can still get child support (here at least).

I still get child support checks and I'm 23. .

I'm really not sure how you would go about it though. . .

No I'm not still getting child support, that's up when you're 18. The man owes from the all the years he was supposed to pay and chose not to. My mother hasn't seen a check since I was about 6.

 

[Chicutie]

No I'm not still getting child support, that's up when you're 18. The man owes from the all the years he was supposed to pay and chose not to. My mother hasn't seen a check since I was about 6.

I understood what you meant in your first post. . . I was just stating that you can get it after 18 as long as your enrolled in college (in some states) just as a general statement.

I'm not sure what the law is after you turn 18 with back child support.

Does your father now have income where he could pay now? I thought that the checks automatically kick whenever the person get a job?

 

[doggish_098]

If I knew I was getting nothing out of it then I wouldn't pursue it, obviously. I'm not that much of a fool. If he has no money explain how he has a house and car and manages to pay his bills and keep his hustle going? Shit, if I wanted him to pay for being an asshole I'd just snuff him steal his shit and call it a day.

"Fool has no license, don't work, can't own shit." I am just basing my answers off the info you gave from the beginning.

 

[UrBoSS]

I understood what you meant in your first post. . . I was just stating that you can get it after 18 as long as your enrolled in college (in some states) just as a general statement.

I'm not sure what the law is after you turn 18 with back child support.

Does your father now have income where he could pay now? I thought that the checks automatically kick whenever the person get a job?

Gotcha, I think I've heard that somewhere.

"Fool has no license, don't work, can't own shit." I am just basing my answers off the info you gave from the beginning.

I see what you're saying. That doesn't mean he doesn't have money though. Like I said, he's a hustler. Can't own shit meaning he can't have anything under his name...Also, it's not that I want to put him in jail (not that I'd care if he was) but those are the consequences he faces should he continue to try and avoid the gov. The prices you pay for not paying...

 

[sean69]

You're a grown ass woman. You lose even if you win. Let it go.

 

[LoneStar29]

You're a grown ass woman. You lose even if you win. Let it go.

I think that is MUCH easier said than done

 

[sean69]

I think that is MUCH easier said than done

Nope, not true. It's more easier said than done.

 

[kwazdog]

I only ever got a few toys,books and photos of himself on vacations over the years... Fuck that pussy ass nigga, I probably wouldnt be "down" today if he tried harder to help me develop. fuck em....





New fathers and fathers to be raise your kids to be whole ppl. Ignorant baby mamas too... dont be sooo selfish. the world is changed thru children, for better or for worse. one loved child can eventually lead to 1000's of loved ppl in the future.


WHEW!!!! what a release, sorry ya'll I just needed somwhere to vent!




With that being said, I could of used child support from him. It would of reduced my overall about of debt.

 

[LoneStar29]

WHEW!!!! what a release, sorry ya'll I just needed somwhere to vent!

It's all good

New fathers and fathers to be raise your kids to be whole ppl. Ignorant baby mamas too... dont be sooo selfish. the world is changed thru children, for better or for worse. one loved child can eventually lead to 1000's of loved ppl in the future.

Very true

Nope, not true. It's more easier said than done.

GAWD you are so annoying LMAO

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Do you have a court order of child support?

Do you have current information on him?

If the answer is yes, your mother and your mother only, can take him to court for enforcement of that order. There is nothing YOU can do.

An agency like SupportKids isn't going to want to handle that because the possibility of collection of funds is low. The state has no interest because the order, if there is one, wasn't established through them and there was no state funds (welfare, etc) to recoup.

Basically, your mother will have to hire a lawyer, file a case, get him served (which can be a hassle) and then you go to court. They will not put him in jail more than likely. They will establish a payment plan. You won't be getting any lumpsums of payment unless your lawyer does the legwork and asset discovery.

Honestly, it's not worth it. You lose the retainer/lawyer fees. If he has no money that can be traced with checks, etc, they won't be getting anything.

I never understand why people wait so long and now it's useless to try and go after him. As Sean and Doggish said, let it go.

 

[UrBoSS]

Thing is this, it's not like I haven't known him/of him since I was born. Over the years he goes in and out of my life. Last convo we had he claimed to have wanted to start getting his shit together bc he wants to be able to own a house under his name and bla bla. That was in 2008. He does this shit all the time. Yea my mother waited too long, my stepfather took good care of me so douchebag wasn't needed.

Now he expresses an "interest" in my life but he's still procrastinating and shit. Now is when I really need the help. No one is helping me with school anymore and if I have to drop out bc I jhave 2 father figures who are cocks then...

Not for nothing but I don't mind having to get a lawyer, even with the fees I'd be getting enough...

Leroy: Do you have experience with this?? You seem to know much.

 

[OnnaReal]

Listen UrBoss,

I don't know your story, don't really need to hear the details, cause that's your business.

However, as a "Dead Broke Dad", I'm going to echo what others have said here; let it go.

Reading most of the posts in this thread, one of the things you keep bringing up is your anger at your dad. Get through that and your whole life will be better. Deal with him directly, stare your fear in the face, and work that shit out first.

When you really know the truth of your relationship with your dad, you can then let go of this paper chase that [in this thread] really doesn't seem to be about the money.

Maybe you can be on of the few kids that doesnt fall in the a "Pod People" mentality aimed at dads the minute a couple breaks up.

Ever thought for a minute why immediately after a divorce or separation starts why does everybody [the courts, friends, family on both sides] hate "the dad"?

Get free of this deception and you'll start to have the life you deserve.

 

[UrBoSS]

Listen UrBoss,

I don't know your story, don't really need to hear the details, cause that's your business.

However, as a "Dead Broke Dad", I'm going to echo what others have said here; let it go.

Reading most of the posts in this thread, one of the things you keep bringing up is your anger at your dad. Get through that and your whole life will be better. Deal with him directly, stare your fear in the face, and work that shit out first.

When you really know the truth of your relationship with your dad, you can then let go of this paper chase that [in this thread] really doesn't seem to be about the money.

Maybe you can be on of the few kids that doesnt fall in the a "Pod People" mentality aimed at dads the minute a couple breaks up.

Ever thought for a minute why immediately after a divorce or separation starts why does everybody [the courts, friends, family on both sides] hate "the dad"?

Get free of this deception and you'll start to have the life you deserve.

Actually I have tried to deal with him directly. And this wasn't after a divorce. He's been this way since the moment he found out my mother was pregnant, and they haven't been together since before I turned 1. Of course I have anger but that's no longer the entire force that's driving me to do this.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Thing is this, it's not like I haven't known him/of him since I was born. Over the years he goes in and out of my life. Last convo we had he claimed to have wanted to start getting his shit together bc he wants to be able to own a house under his name and bla bla. That was in 2008. He does this shit all the time. Yea my mother waited too long, my stepfather took good care of me so douchebag wasn't needed.

Now he expresses an "interest" in my life but he's still procrastinating and shit. Now is when I really need the help. No one is helping me with school anymore and if I have to drop out bc I jhave 2 father figures who are cocks then...

Not for nothing but I don't mind having to get a lawyer, even with the fees I'd be getting enough...

Leroy: Do you have experience with this?? You seem to know much.

Do you have a court order? If not, then this is futile.

 

[Hiding]

No the PR man is sending himself to jail by being a loser. Why would you, in a way, defend a "man" that made the choice to fuck but not to pay a whole $80 a month for the kid he created? But he can go and spend that a day on his drugs?

And you really think your getting money out of a dope fiend. You created them bills yourself not your dad that 80 bucks wouldn't have paid for shit. I had a dead beat dad but i moved on and built myself. woman the fuck up.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

And you really think your getting money out of a dope fiend. You created them bills yourself not your dad that 80 bucks wouldn't have paid for shit. I had a dead beat dad but i moved on and built myself. woman the fuck up.

Exactly. Child support is not for the child, it's payment to the mother to take care of the child. Seeing as how you got through the 18 years and are a functioning member of society, there's no real reason to continue to pursue this from a nigga you ain't gonna get shit from. Wasting your time and money for nothing. Your lawyer will get paid, but you probably won't. To me it sounds like you want some cash and think this is a way.

Don't get it twisted. I'm not advocating deadbeat dads or letting fathers get away with that shit once the child turns 18, but based on what you've described, you're not going to get anything out of this bum, so why put yourself through it?

 

[LoneStar29]

Well according to the males in this thread you should just let him off scott free and move on with your life ... I mean "woman the fuck up"

I think you should find out first if he has anything worth getting ... if he is a drug abuser chances are he aint got much .. if he does have something then you'll have to take the proper channels in order to collect

I definately don't think he should be off scott free ... he should pay in some way or another for being a deadbeat

 

[doggish_098]

Well according to the males in this thread you should just let him off scott free and move on with your life ... I mean "woman the fuck up"

I think you should find out first if he has anything worth getting ... if he is a drug abuser chances are he aint got much .. if he does have something then you'll have to take the proper channels in order to collect

I definately don't think he should be off scott free ... he should pay in some way or another for being a deadbeat

i am just a strong believer of you can't move forward in life walking backwards.

 

[sean69]

Well according to the males in this thread you should just let him off scott free and move on with your life ... I mean "woman the fuck up"

I think you should find out first if he has anything worth getting ... if he is a drug abuser chances are he aint got much .. if he does have something then you'll have to take the proper channels in order to collect

I definately don't think he should be off scott free ... he should pay in some way or another for being a deadbeat

Scott free? WTF? This isn't a video game. 'Ol Space Invaders I gotta blast the last alein lookin' ass.

Like LD said, it wont be worth the stress and legal fees after you do the material balance equation. But hey, if ol girl is on some revenge Sarah Croft shit go ahead and take it to court but as a grown ass adult looking for retroactive "child" support this shit could drag on longer than the numbers after the decimal point when you divide 22 by 7.

Carry on then.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Not like I'm, you know, speaking from experience or something I've encountered before.

 

[kjxxxx]

Well according to the males in this thread you should just let him off scott free and move on with your life ... I mean "woman the fuck up"

I think you should find out first if he has anything worth getting ... if he is a drug abuser chances are he aint got much .. if he does have something then you'll have to take the proper channels in order to collect

I definately don't think he should be off scott free ... he should pay in some way or another for being a deadbeat

There is a good reason her mom didn't take on this fight and it seems she pushed it off on you. What does your mom know about him why she thought he was best left alone? Seems you are fighting your moms fight. I grew up without my father in my life either. There is no way I would have tried to get child support from him though I know he has a job and house. But that's how society raised us men to think. Lucky for you, you have a step father who was there for you. Seems you lashing out at him too. I racked up my student loans. I have friends male friends who grew up without their fathers in their lives and none have any hard feelings against their fathers. For the most part we are happy he contributed the sperm. Without the father, their is no us. I have friends who also grew up with both parents at home who have the same bills so they have no one they can think of suing. We all started making our decisions when we got to 18.

If you think about it. Had he paid the $80 per month. I am not so sure your mom would have saved it and have it ready for you when you started college. So that money would have been spent. When you think about not suing you could think about it that way.

Equal rights and Justice. Equal treatment and Equal attitude.

Please don't quote me as I would like DELETE IT IF I FEEL LIKE

PLEASE DON"T QUOTE ME

 

[bigirl]

A very good friend of mine is a child support lawyer in new mexico but she knows a lot and has been all over so I will ask her about this tomorrow when she is up and come back

 

[OnnaReal]

UrBoss,

I flash through the boards pretty quickly, missed your reply. Read a few others between here and my original reply, including your responses.

I repeat what I said before, work out your relationship with this man first, then your course on what to do next will be clearer. Since my post, you've let out more negative things about him [more hate]. Until you really clean this up somehow, he can never pay enough to satisfy your anger.

If he gave you every dime he had right now, would that be enough?

I had a long speech on how to split the one dollar the two houses earn and still support the kid when it takes a whole dollar to take care of just one house. But, the real deal I keep getting from your posts is the money really is not the issue.

it seems to me you just want him to pay.

If he really claims to be your dad, he'd cut out his own heart if you asked him to.

If he's never been your dad, the money won't make him one.

 

[UrBoSS]

Since this thread is going somewhere else I think it's time to cut it short. I simply asked if anyone has gone through this and advice how to go about it. You're all entitled to your opinions, and thanks, regardless of how much I may disagree or not like what you said. I'm not going to quote and respond to everyone but...

First off, no he is not an addict, he's a dealer. Second, if my mother had gotten the child support yes she would have saved it, put it into a fund so I wouldn't have these school problems. She's not like those bitches out there who keep the money for themselves and let their kids wear dingy clothes and eat bullshit food.

As far as me and him having a relationship, I've been the one making the effort really. He's made a few attempts here and there, then he falls off. Like I said earlier, months ago it was him saying how he wanted a life again and he can't do it since he hasn't paid anything and he's in deep shit. If the state were to look at things, how exactly does he pay rent, car note, usual bills, cell phone, etc...Lord knows his fiancee isn't paying anything. Dude said he wanted to help, and he also said he wanted to help me with school. Now the time has come and he's being a pussy.

Woman up? I've been taking care of myself since I was 16, working, paying my own shit since 13. No one has gotten me to the place I am today besides ME. I've come far. So no I'm not out for money, I'm out for an education that I will lose if something doesn't give...