13 reasons for a single man not to date a women with kids!

Ended up @ Applebee's w/ 4 girls and 3 kids.....
First off, this just happened like 2 hours ago.

We have only seen each other twice before, the day we met and once since when I dropped by her house to holla at her.

She tells me earlier this week that she's off Thursday and says she wants to see me, she calls me today on the way to pick up her 5 yr old son saying that she's taking him to Applebee's to eat and invites me to come. I say, "cool, I'll meet y'all there". I was apprehensive about meeting her son so soon because I was raised by a single mother too and I know how it is when you introduce them to new people. Anyway, she calls and tells me that her friend needs a ride to the gym where she's going after we eat and that Jessica (her friend) will come with her. So I'm thinking, "this shit don't matter to me, because I'm in and out, just stopping by while they are there to grab a bite to eat, meet and greet, and leave".


First she is 15-20 minutes late. Then they show up in 2 different cars. Jessica, who is riding w/ my friend (my friend's name is Felicia by the way), has 2 kids. Felicia has her son w/ her, and they got another friend, Amber, who came in her own car. Amber, has on a one piece knit skirt w/ tights and heels on, she is BAD :yes:. Amber also has 5 visible tattoos just on her forearms and hands ;). 1 on each hand, 1 on each wrist, and some nigga named "Corey" on her right forearm.
Back to the story, so we go in and are seated, kids and all. I'm still taken aback by this but I ain't saying shit, just playing it cool. Then Felicia is on the phone texting and answering and tells me to let her out of the booth we were in, when she got up she says, "oh, 1 more person is coming". :smh: :confused:

So lets get this count down. We got myself, Felicia, Felicia's son, Jessica and her two kids (a 4 yr old & a 3 yr old), Amber fine ass, and this other girl whose name I couldn't remember. All in all it was 8 human beings at this fucking table!
In my head I'm thinking, they can't think I'm paying for all these people because I just met Felicia and I don't know any of the others, plus I didn't get that vibe. Plus I had talked to Felicia about something similar and she had her mind right.

Long story short, kids are kids and what can I say? I don't have any so I don't feel like I should have to deal with some shit when I don't want to. I realize this is by no fault of the kids, so the slapping of hands on the table, the pouting, the fake crying and the loud outbursts just have to get charged to FELICIA. Her friends ALL looked better than her body-wise, so they were all eye-balling me on the sly, but so much so that it couldn't be hid. Every time I'd look up from the menu Amber would be looking at me and try to look away real quick. I caught Jessica doing it a few times too. Old no-name girl that was sitting next to me was 21 and kept touching me and brushing up against me. I didn't notice until Amber pointed it out afterwards. Amber don't like No-Name girl, btw. I paid for me, Felicia, and her son. It wasn't shit, my issue was that she ain't tell me about all this. And had she told me I would have taken a rain-check.

That shit was wild as hell. Arkward at times too. Just way too much more than I signed up for. Feel me?


I think I did a good job of not letting it erk me too much and trying to make the best of the situation. But I'ma have to tell Felicia about that shit man! Shit just ain't cool.

Just want some feedback from y'all man, on dealing w/ chicks w/ kids.
...
 
I have to C/S this and I speak from experience. This is a good guideline but it depends on the woman. now to c/s with some of the brothas that already post their response, after a certain age you have to accept that finding a woman that doesn't have kids is going to be difficult. Again it's all about the woman, if she is a responsible mother, and her kids are number one in her life, chances are she is not hoeing around and bring different men around her kids. now if you meet her in a club and she is there every Friday night and she is has four kids by four different men, then you need to run like hell (I.E. Neffy's dumb ghetto ass.) If she has the kids with the one father and was with him for years and things happen, sometimes relationships don't work you can't blame a woman for that. Single woman are just as much or more of a risk: i.e. single w kids "I'm sorry i can't find a babysitter"
Single women w/o kids "I'm sorry I going to hang out at my 'friends' house." There are risks either way you just have to hope that the woman you hook up with is true with or without kids.
 
Ain't nothing wrong with that man. Nothing at all. The thing is... we all progress at different rates. Don't let nobody, especially a bitter bitch, tell you that your not being mature enough at the time makes you any less of a man or any less responsible. I'm so serious.

In fact, you were so much of a man that you acknowledged how you felt about the situation and communicated it. This displays way more than anyone could ever say you lacked in that situation.

Many women don't have an accurate idea of what a man is and how he should be. They have this image of a man without flaws and that has progressed to the fullest extent possible.
This just ain't happening.

I will be the first to tell anybody that I'm a work in progress.

Thanks bruh.
 
toslane1 said:
Most of the women, I've dated in life, (including my current lady) has had children.
While some this writer's issue ARE true, I don't look at them the same way he does.
For example, #1. There's millions of single mothers who
HAVE NOT suffered negative aftereffects of having a child.
I offer, Esther Baxter, & Montana as proof of that.
#3 on the subject of baby daddy(s) I've never had that problem, in fact , the last dude supported ME, in discipline issues.
Numbers, 2,3,6,7,11, & 12 are a part of life, deal with it.
If a child ran that, "you're not my daddy" line on me. I merely point out whose house they're in, and maybe, cut out an allowance payment or 2.
That'll usually do it.
I'd like to point out that most of the children of my ex's respect me to this day. I'm often told, "I wish Moms woud've stayed with you".
Now, #13 IS a problem. Thank God, I never had to deal with that one.

Here's one piece of advice, that works GREAT for me.
"if it doesn't apply, (to you) let it fly.

i_agree.jpg
 
Yeah me and this white guy at work was talking at lunch and he got into "i got crazy people in my family" talk, he went on and on and then he said "and guess what, I got cousin that had a baby AND SHE ISN"T EVEN MARRIED". I started to laugh because i thought he was joking but when i looked at him he was serious as hell


Its not a issue about white people getting pregnant less. I think the numbers are the same but I know plenty of white chicks that had abortions. Family just takes them and its not a option due to embarrassment in the community and such.

And their birth control game is like clockwork.
 
- I believe that and it hit me hard as hell when I went to college. I was the only black person in my department, and after about 3 years of the same 30 or so people being around each other all the time it dawned on me that none of them had children...all of them were in their 20's too...

not saying black folks are more fucked up morally/sexually, we just have different cultural attitudes towards marriage and pregnancy




Yeah but this shit has been detrimental to black folks even far worst on our inner city neighborhoods than CRACK.
 
I did it, and now........well........:smh::smh::smh:

This thread is truth. I have been strong enough to deal with it all, but now..........:smh::smh::smh:

The kid is grown, I did more than my fair share.
 
damn! why did yall have to bump this thread?? i just met a chick im digging the hell out of she has 2 kids.... maaaaaannnn...
 
#13.. :smh: :smh: :smh:

I never have, and never will date a single mother.

I dont like kids and am not trying to take care of someone else's mistake
 
Im currently dating a chick with a daughter.First time ever doing it and I'll never do it again.Her daughter LOVES me and even asks my advice about boys and dating.I know me and the mom wont work out long term,but really dont wanna deal with the double heartbreak.
 
I agree with all the points except for #1, this is NOT TRUE for every woman. Every females body is different and while 60% fall the fuck off 40% either stay the same or slightly change.
 
Good list

I know that shit be pissing my bm off

It aint all good for us dudes with kids either though

Though some chicks seem to like to see that you are taking care of your responsibilities as a father...many of us young black men aren't

They always worried about where the baby moms is at and if you still fuck with them though
 
12) You'll Never Be #1

But on the ohter hand you shouldn't be.I'm a dad and i don't/won't and will never put any woman before my babies.If you don't want to deal with a woman with kids and the situations on this list........avoid them.
 
i hit the jackpot with my girl
mid thirties no kids and she's self employed

Mine, too. 29, RN, no kids downside is she is the oldest of 10! When we were together before her siblings were a huge problem, now not so much since they are grown. She is the only one of her siblings (the girls) that is under 150...shit, she is the only one under 200!

I didn't know about #13. WTF? Are they trying to make sure single women stay single?
 
No just yourself for your fartherless bastard seed???

My son is not fatherless ... you however are brainless ... should I start a thread about that to get YOU some help oooooooooooor ..... ???

BTW where is that pic of that Jerry's kids lookin' broad you had in your sig one time ... she/he:dunno: was taking them dollar store slippers off your crusty dry feet while you were laying on your trap house couch??? I like that pic:)
 
Good post! There's many other reasons for single men(especially childless) not to date women who have children.

The problem is........... it's kind of difficult to find suitabale single women in their 30's, who don't have any kids.

Don't get me wrong........ some of the coolest and most stable-minded women that I have met are single moms, it's just those 1 or 2 youngins in tow, that made me leary.:lol:

c/s, findin single women in their 30s with no kids is like tryin to win the lottery while lightning strikes you while a plane lands on your corpse
 
My son is not fatherless ... you however are brainless ... should I start a thread about that to get YOU some help oooooooooooor ..... ???

BTW where is that pic of that Jerry's kids lookin' broad you had in your sig one time ... she/he:dunno: was taking them dollar store slippers off your crusty dry feet while you were laying on your trap house couch??? I like that pic:)

Stop lying lone cause if there was a man in your life you wouldn't be on bgol day noon and night .and they where not from the dollar store they where from wal-mart(LOL ):lol:
 
c/s, findin single women in their 30s with no kids is like tryin to win the lottery while lightning strikes you while a plane lands on your corpse

It's just as hard to find single fathers cuz NEWS FLASH it takes 2 to make a baby ... so for every single mother there is a single father

Stop lying lone cause if there was a man in your life you wouldn't be on bgol day noon and night .and they where not from the dollar store they where from wal-mart(LOL ):lol:

There is a diff between me having a man in my life and my son having his father in my life ... you would know that if you actually were using your brain
 
It's just as hard to find single fathers cuz NEWS FLASH it takes 2 to make a baby ... so for every single mother there is a single father



There is a diff between me having a man in my life and my son having his father in my life ... you would know that if you actually were using your brain

Nah the father of the baby usually goes on to get married to a woman that is not the babymomma :rolleyes:

Statistically speaking.
 
It's just as hard to find single fathers cuz NEWS FLASH it takes 2 to make a baby ... so for every single mother there is a single father

It's a bigger problem for men because 99% of the time the kid is staying with the mother.
 
It's a bigger problem for men because 99% of the time the kid is staying with the mother.

So it's not as bad for a man to be a single father if the kids don't live with him:confused:

So a man with 5 kids that doesn't have custody of them is on a higher scale than a woman with 1 child who lives with her :confused::confused:
 
It's just as hard to find single fathers cuz NEWS FLASH it takes 2 to make a baby ... so for every single mother there is a single father



There is a diff between me having a man in my life and my son having his father in my life ... you would know that if you actually were using your brain

The piont is you have neither that Canadian dude that only comes over at night and leaves before sun rise is not a boyfriend or a father no
 
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