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Easter Dilemna

MagicMarvin said:
I think you should be glad all this happened. You now know the actual state of your relationship with your lady. She does not trust you. It doesn't sound like there's anything you can say or do (within your nature) to make her trust you. Maybe that's justified; maybe not. It seems that she has a distrustful nature. You both have your own different ways of looking at life and solving life's problems. Sometimes, certain personality types just don't mesh. Maybe now is a good time to decide whether this is the type of relationship that either of you wants for the long haul. If not, well, you know...
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I feel you on that. Real talk. I guess I'm banging my head against a wall because I'm really not a flirty type of guy. In fact I think I'm kind of clingy at times. Or should I say overly loyal.

It's been rocky and I know it got rocky on my side because of my ex hounding me about coming back. She kind of got a chance to see that while my last relationship was rocky too that parts of it were way better than what she is providing and that is making her jealous. I've told her plenty of times that we can work to make those parts better with us but we can't lose sight of what works for us. She too worried about what she don't have to understand what she does. :smh:
 
Wow. Family members and his girl mad at him but none is reproaching the girl. Interesting. You can apologize for not handling it the way Noir said and say next time that is how you will deal with it if it ever happens. You can also ask her if she has any suggestions as to how you should deal with the situation if it does happen again.

You can add that you will expect her to go up to the person and tell her that she is not comfortable with their behavior around you if she is not.

Understand while I give you this advice it is coming from someone who only has failed relationships on his record.


Noir said:
Well, Lone, that was what he was supposed to do! Cousin came towards him and he did the right thing which was nothing.

Why do some women act this way? BTW, I think that Andey was set up. No one saw how cousin was approaching Andey all evening? Why was the rest of his girl's family involved and upset at him? None of them saw anything? Or worst, since they knew the way the cousin acts, no one saw it in their right mind to "alert" Andey as to the way the cousin acts?

Where was his girl all day? So, she can mingle about and leave him alone at the family barbecue, but he has to stay near her (within sight) like an obedient child?
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LoneStar29 said:
Andey noooooooooooooooooooooo:(

Over that bullshit:smh:

Fuck's wrong with her:confused:

This may be a blessing in disguise ya never know
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I explained it a little better on chat last night but in a nutshell she doesn't want to compete with other females for me. Even though she's not worried about my ex the things she said to her about not knowing how to treat me right got to her and she doesn't want to step up to the challenge so to speak. So she feels like I want those things in order to be happy and she don't want to work on providing those things. That's competing for my affection as she calls it. I call it love, honor and commitment. :dunno:

I couldn't write that shit if I tried. So she don't want to be with me because she thinks in the future I will want somebody else that does those things for me even if it's not her cousin. Even though I told her that I'm with her and we can work on anything together that she is feeling insecure about. :smh:

I'm kind of fucked up over the whole thing to tell you the truth but I realize that she isn't what I want if she will let what another female says to her make her feel like less of a woman to me.
 
Oooooooooh Andey *e-hugs*

I'm mad confused about what she feels is so difficult to provide to the relationship (unless it's swallowing then I completely understand:puke::Djust sayin')

Man if she can't hold you down in all ways then she aint wifey material ... she needs to get to steppin' ... she pissin' me off stressin' you out like this and shit:hmm:
 
doggish_098 said:
Before you ended it did you ask whether the 21 year old was a set up?
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I did ask her. She said that it wasn't or at least she had nothing to do with it. I can tell that the whole "logic" of the situation is starting to set in on her but I think that the whole not wanting to compete thing is why she is still holding on to it.
 
She doesn't want to compete with something or somebody that hasn't even come along yet? Wow!

I dunno..but I think perhaps you might want to view it being over as a positive. You can't help her insecurities its something she will have to deal with on her own. It will keep coming up ,with you or with anyone else.:smh:
 
LoneStar29 said:
Oooooooooh Andey *e-hugs*

I'm mad confused about what she feels is so difficult to provide to the relationship (unless it's swallowing then I completely understand:puke::Djust sayin')

Man if she can't hold you down in all ways then she aint wifey material ... she needs to get to steppin' ... she pissin' me off stressin' you out like this and shit:hmm:
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:lol:

Well...:lol:

It's more of a freindship type of thing. Fundamentals. I mean I knew her since around college time but we never got together. We hooked up here around 4 years ago and started getting close again. So she remembers me from college time and she kind of kicked in to "ok this is what he likes to do back then" mode. The ex is more recent so she knows what I like to do now. So there is a gap. So while I'm trying to get her to kind of update the relationship she's in the if it ain't broke don't fix it mode. But that's breaking it so to speak.

I won't lie and say that sex isn't a part of it too. I mean I like what I like but I can compromise. But if I ask her to do something she immediately thinks my ex did it with me so that's her reason for not doing it. I'm not her (or them other girls) is her favorite little phrase. :smh:

It's a lot but it's nothing that can't be worked on but she kind of wants me to work on being who I used to be instead of who I am now.

And thank you lone...I'll be aight.
 
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