Ladies n Gents i REALLY NEED YOUR HELP AND ADVICE

[husband73]

I know it''s a long read[Colin Powe ready] but please bear with me. Ok. here we go. First a lil history on the situation. It goes like this, yes i am married[ 9yrs] but wife was going stupid on me last year[ chatting on myspace with 2 dudes that are younger than her like 26-27 in SEPT 08[she 37-me-36.] caught her went through some shit. but then in december i found out her so called male friend at work[also 27] was more than that. knew bout dude for 8 months. Wife denied she thought of him in that way but i knew other wise. She never let dude go the signs were there. She hid his number as a female's name all along so she knew what she was doing. That was the last straw for me[ 2 other times i confronted about other situation with dude back in july08 and this was the 3rd again she never let him go] She even said well our marriage is on the rocks so i think we should have an open realtionship mabye being with sombody else will make us come together and miss each other. and she said the person who she thinking bout was that guy from the job. So i thought fuck it my wife not listening to me, so by accident i met this female lets call her T. This is where i need your help. T is married for 17yrs[she's also the same age as my wife 37-3kids same as me] and she lives near me[4min away]. Ladies you know when u met that somebody that is on the same level as you it's like you been waiting for this all your life? that's how we were Soulmates. Everything our love for music to our thinking process were the same.i never [even with my wife] have never felt that way before about any woman. down to she would just look at me while i'm just talking and sigh and smile to herself. you can feel the love. Sexually we were a match the passion[which was gone with my wife years ago] down to the freaky shit[i made her cum 6 times n 4 hours of love making.] T knew about my wife doing me dirty, and such even to the point that my wife found out about T [and she was mad at 1st then she was like that's what's up go'head do u] so every things good between me n T ,but i noticed that she withdrawing herself from me from time to time-u know when u feel that feeling that something is wrong with your mate. She said, damn why did i have to fall in love with u? Your married and it bothers me, [like she's not married but i'm dealing with that]like i want you with me/then at times i don't? Huh? so do u want me to leave you alone? No! but its too much? We used to talk everday...then it's every other day..so Today i was like what's up between us? She was like It's all to much your still married n it bothers me i love u deeply but u have a lot of situations in your life and i just think it's the wrong time for us. I would think it's better to remain us as good friends. You will forever be my soulmate that's no lie, but i feel that us the way we are and if we continue to have sex the way we do will complicate things further, HUH?? Ladies i just don't get it?? If you met your soulmate and u love him why do a 360 on him and say this? I need your help what is going thru her mind i'm confused? By the way now my wife is now saying that she told dude she wants to end their relationship and work on me n her,but i don't trust her.[she doesn't know bout what Ms T said to me today]....People this has been a badd year for me 1-found out my wife was having affair with dude, 2-met Ms. T a soulmate i always wanted[good] 3-my father passed away on March 18/09. 4-Now Ms T wants to end our relationship cause it's too much and it's the wrong time for us to go any further, so she wants to remain friends. What's going on with Ms T ? i want to know ??? Share your thoughts.... Oh thank you B.G.O.L Brothers n Sisters for your help.

 

[onyxfemme]

I think you should focus on where your marriage is going before worrying about Ms.T if you are truley in love w/ Ms.T then you should be honest w/ your wife and seperate or divorce. YOUR marriage could be salvaged regardless of the damage. BUT if thats not what you want-then move on. RESPECT T's feelings.....Been here and done that. I know whats its like to fall in love unexpectadley. I pursued it because we were both aware that our marriage was over. COMMUNICATE

 

[LoneStar29]

I think the situation is much too complicated for T which makes sense ... you're married, she's married ... I mean I couldn't fall in love with a man that slept in the same bed as his wife every night after leaving my house

Your wife sounds like she's really fuckin' up ... you need to decide once and for all who you wanna be with ... your wife or T ... either work on the marriage or get a divorce and be with T ... but you can' have it both ways ... that is most likely where T is comin' from

 

[Machete]

I know it''s a long read[Colin Powe ready] but please bear with me. Ok. here we go. First a lil history on the situation. It goes like this, yes i am married[ 9yrs] but wife was going stupid on me last year[ chatting on myspace with 2 dudes that are younger than her like 26-27 in SEPT 08[she 37-me-36.] caught her went through some shit. but then in december i found out her so called male friend at work[also 27] was more than that. knew bout dude for 8 months. Wife denied she thought of him in that way but i knew other wise. She never let dude go the signs were there. She hid his number as a female's name all along so she knew what she was doing. That was the last straw for me[ 2 other times i confronted about other situation with dude back in july08 and this was the 3rd again she never let him go] She even said well our marriage is on the rocks so i think we should have an open realtionship mabye being with sombody else will make us come together and miss each other. and she said the person who she thinking bout was that guy from the job. So i thought fuck it my wife not listening to me, so by accident i met this female lets call her T. This is where i need your help. T is married for 17yrs[she's also the same age as my wife 37-3kids same as me] and she lives near me[4min away]. Ladies you know when u met that somebody that is on the same level as you it's

.....

puctuation. spelling. grammar.

that was way too hard to read.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

This is what's going down from my understanding playboy. Because shit is hard to read up there.

You are married.

Your wife is stepping out on you with a dude she has either been trying to step out with for over a year or has been thinking about stepping out with for over a year.

So you decide to step out with another married woman that lives 4 minutes away.

You fall for this married woman, soulmates, sex good, convo good, etc... but now she don't want to fuck with you because you both are married. Right?

Ok my first question is why are you fucking a married woman that close to your house when you are still married? If I were her I wouldn't fuck with you either. Either she is going to get cut or you will end up cut or shot or mamed or what the hell ever by anyone of the three people who are not you in this situation. And if you are 37 some of them damn kids might be old enough to add to the fucking up pot.

But for real cuz ya'll need role models.

 

[Chicutie]

No disrespect. . .I can't read all that shit right now. . . sorry

Just wanted to say I like your sig Andey

 

[Crown&Coke]

First I would suggest an english class. I cant read that the way u wrote it.​

 

[Andeyhollawho]

No disrespect. . .I can't read all that shit right now. . . sorry

Just wanted to say I like your sig Andey

Thanks Chi!

 

[bluskyII]

Yes, you need to resolve your current situation prior to completely moving on to another. T may have the same feelings, however she is not interested in getting those feelings hurt. She does not know when your wife is going to attempt patch things up. Most people know that men and women generally want to make their marriage work. This is especially true if there are many years invested in the relationship and children.

Close one door before completely being committed to opening another. You may have these feelings for T because your feelings have been hurt by your wife. You know - the rebound. It makes you feel good to feel that another woman wants you since your wife is not showing you too much love currently. T knows that things can always change with you family situation.

 

[Jam_Jam]

It sounds like you're drowning in bullshit. First of all, two wrongs don't make a right. All you did by stepping out on your wife was complicate your life further than it was already complicated. You are trying to trade in your cheating wife for another man's cheating wife. Do you see how ridiculous that is? Then you say the other woman is your soulmate. Get real, of course anyone would seem like your soulmate if your own marriage is going to hell in handbasket. Then "T" has the nerve to have a problem with you being married when her ass is married too. Sounds like "T' is having second thoughts and using the marriage situation as an excuse to cut you loose. I hope you are learning a lesson from this situation. Clean up your own house before you try to clean up someone elses'.

 

[husband73]

Just got home from work. And thanks for the ones who gave advice i really appreciate it. And to Blusky i think you right with your answer. She had mention the -your wife stills loves you and cares about you theory.

 

[IntelligentDyme]

Just got home from work. And thanks for the ones who gave advice i really appreciate it. And to Blusky i think you right with your answer. She had mention the -your wife stills loves you and cares about you theory.

This could also be what she is feeling too... that she still loves and cares about her husband.. so she probably relates to your wife just as much as she does you....Honestly it is surprising to me that you are not paying attention to the fact that she she is married and not once have you mentioned what she is doing about her own marriage....what goes around comes around, everytime you are fucking you are getting fucked too. I woudln't be surprised if you didn't end up with neither one of them, and honestly that might the best look for you.

 

[husband73]

This could also be what she is feeling too... that she still loves and cares about her husband.. so she probably relates to your wife just as much as she does you....Honestly it is surprising to me that you are not paying attention to the fact that she she is married and not once have you mentioned what she is doing about her own marriage....what goes around comes around, everytime you are fucking you are getting fucked too. I woudln't be surprised if you didn't end up with neither one of them, and honestly that might the best look for you.

Yeah Intelligent dime you made me think on that one. It just surprises me that when Ms.T mention that she loves me but thinks we should be friends for now? How can we? for real, if u go from step 1 to step 6 you don't go back to 1 again. After the feelings the trust the sex[by the way i don't get when she said It'll be the same but we won't be having sex as much.
What?? Cause when we did it was explosive the crying even her body was shaking 10 min after she came. Could it be that the sex would just complicate things more?
You can't just erase what was done and be just friends. I said no!! i can't do that, she got upset and said i thought we loved each other if we do then we can remain friends.
Like i said i seen a lil change in her, some resistance that wasn't there for the first couple of months.
Also even if she still loves her husband...why does she think that i'm going to stick around and be her "friend" after all that has happened between us?

 

[IntelligentDyme]

Yeah Intelligent dime you made me think on that one. It just surprises me that when Ms.T mention that she loves me but thinks we should be friends for now? How can we? for real, if u go from step 1 to step 6 you don't go back to 1 again. After the feelings the trust the sex etc,etc, You can't just erase what was done and be just friends. I said no!! i can't do that, she got upset and said i thought we loved each other if we do then we can remain friends. Like i said i seen a lil change in her, some resistance that wasn't there for the first couple of months.
Also even if she still loves her husband...why does she think that i'm going to stick around and be her "friend" after all that has happened between us?

You need to stop thinking about these women and think about yourself....that is your first problem...none of your posts have been about you or your feelings, but about how these two women are feeling. You need to dig deep within yourself and figure the following things:

1.) Why would stay in a marriage with someone who has repeatedly betrayed and disrespected you... I believe in working things, but not when someone tells you to go and fuck other people like it's cool to alleviate their own bull shit behavior... Why would you accept this kind of woman?

2.) What really attracted you to another married woman who was doing the exact same thing to her husband as your wife was doing to you? Why would allow yourself to intentionally be second fiddle in this woman's life? Is it because she understands you? Can't be because if she did, truly, she wouldn't be doing the same thing to her husband that you are hurting from after having it done to you? What is the benefit in this? Sometimes people confuse understanding and empathy for a soulmate connection, when honestly you can find these same qualities in a good therapist.

3.) What starts off on the wrong foot, typically ends up on the wrong foot. Why would you still even consider being with a woman who still wants her man and has never said I'm leaving him....Why are considering working out a marriage that you both have totally shitted on...somethings have to be let go... Why are you attracted to women who cannot give themselves completely to you?

4.) How do you want to live you life? What is do you want? How do you want your children to live their lives? What advice would give to them if they were going through this? Loving yourself is the most important thing, and truly judging from your patterns, you need to step back and work on that... Chances are there were indicators to the type of woman your wife was and is, and she is still manipulating the shit out of you...and now you have coinicdentally? fallen in love with the same woman, just with a different address and better vagina.