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You Ever Met A Chick That DIDNT Want Oral??

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legend_86

wannabe star
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Alright, I got this problem. Well, it ain't really a problem but it's been buggin me out for a while.

I've been dating this girl for a little over a year now. I love her to death and our sex life is great. Now me personally, I'm a sex fiend. I wont go out lookin for sex like cheatin or no bullshit like that, but when I'm with someone, I LOVE having sex with them. And I love tryin' new things. (as long as it don't concern my ass :smh:) Ain't nothing wrong with that right?

Now, my girl is a little more "reserved" than I am in the sex department. (Only has had sex with 2 people) I personally don't mind going down on her. I mean, it ain't my favorite thing in the world but I love making her go crazy. Problem is, SHE WON'T LET ME! Now, I NEVER thought I would meet a girl who didn't want that from her man. I've even told her that she didn't have to do anything in return.

She's let me go down on her on like, maybe no more than 8 occasions. And they lasted no more than like 30 seconds. She's gone down on me on like 6 occasions. 4 of them lasting for like 30 seconds but twice for like 10 minutes.

I honestly think I'm the first guy she's ever gone down on. I asked her about it when she first tried it and she said she "was scared", "I want to but I don't know how", "blah blah blah" But she's never given me an answer for why she won't let me go down on her.

I'd like to hear some opinions cause she's told me I'm bigger than anyone she's been with and it hurts her sometimes. So of course, I'd like to do some oral to get her more wet, help her orgasm easier/more, etc.

Any experiences/suggestions/advice?
 
I knew a few chicks who never really liked anyone down there..their excuse "I feel wierd"...eventually they like it. They have to be comfortable with you plus It just has to be done right. Now they can't have sex without it being done.
 
Some females have been taught that oral sex is a "dirty" thing. When and where I grew up it was an extremely taboo thing for one to have happen to you. There are still some of those taboos till this day.
However, you should try to be more communicative with your girl. Communicating to her that this is something that you enjoy and that your only want is to please her should be opening the door to her letting you know what her reasons are.

Let her be the lead with it if she does want to try again. Have her tell you what feels good or doesn't. Start off slowly and maybe she can get a better feel for it. Take your time to explore her allowing her to adapt to the feel of a tongue,mouth, lips on her. Its probably a mental thing bredren.

Respect her wish if in the end she truly doesn't change her vibe regarding oral.






Peace
 
As LadyScorpio stated oral sex is taboo in some cultures. Many who were brought up with a strict religous code tend to be closed minded sexually. So with women like this it takes time to awaken them sexually.

You need to talk with her and get her to understand oral sex may be the ultimate gesture of sexual appreciation for your mate. Make her understand oral sex is not something you would do with just anyone. (even if it is a lie :rolleyes:) It also seems your not setting the proper mood to get her relaxed. Try some soft jazz or R&B music, turn down the lights, lay on the couch together and develop a closeness. Remember she's not just your girl she's (at this point) somewhat of a project.

You need to make sex fun for her. Try little games like tying her up and blindfolding her. Try using some oils, a massage is always a winner, a warm bubble bath, (for her only) vibrators, sexy outfits even soft porn movies.

DO use that kitchen blender. Mix her some sweet (but strong) drinks to get her relaxed. Try Bacardi daiquiri mixes just add ice and rum (cheap but effective) and you can find them in most supermarkets. It takes time to awaken some women sexually but its not impossible. You need to focus only on her and breakdown her inhibitions and in doing so it may mean you don't get yours that night. So what? What you'll get in the long run will be worth the sacrifice. :yes:

Also understand women will try and mislead you. She may have stronger feelings for you than she's letting on. Ever have a woman tell you "I'm not ready for a sexual relationship?" I have and everytime it became a sexual relationship. So you also need to understand women don't always say what they mean. If she's spending time with you then you should know the deal.

Every woman has that sexual freak within them. (Yeah I said it!) Some embrace it others supress it. It takes the right man and approach to bring that out of them. You'll know when you've gotten her there when she says, "Oh I've never done anything like that before." Then you'll know you've awaken that sexually suppressed side of her. Hang in there. :yes:
 
Mo-Better said:
As LadyScorpio stated oral sex is taboo in some cultures. Many who were brought up with a strict religous code tend to be closed minded sexually. So with women like this it takes time to awaken them sexually.

You need to talk with her and get her to understand oral sex may be the ultimate gesture of sexual appreciation for your mate. Make her understand oral sex is not something you would do with just anyone. (even if it is a lie :rolleyes:) It also seems your not setting the proper mood to get her relaxed. Try some soft jazz or R&B music, turn down the lights, lay on the couch together and develop a closeness. Remember she's not just your girl she's (at this point) somewhat of a project.

You need to make sex fun for her. Try little games like tying her up and blindfolding her. Try using some oils, a massage is always a winner, a warm bubble bath, (for her only) vibrators, sexy outfits even soft porn movies.

DO use that kitchen blender. Mix her some sweet (but strong) drinks to get her relaxed. Try Bacardi daiquiri mixes just add ice and rum (cheap but effective) and you can find them in most supermarkets. It takes time to awaken some women sexually but its not impossible. You need to focus only on her and breakdown her inhibitions and in doing so it may mean you don't get yours that night. So what? What you'll get in the long run will be worth the sacrifice. :yes:

Also understand women will try and mislead you. She may have stronger feelings for you than she's letting on. Ever have a woman tell you "I'm not ready for a sexual relationship?" I have and everytime it became a sexual relationship. So you also need to understand women don't always say what they mean. If she's spending time with you then you should know the deal.

Every woman has that sexual freak within them. (Yeah I said it!) Some embrace it others supress it. It takes the right man and approach to bring that out of them. You'll know when you've gotten her there when she says, "Oh I've never done anything like that before." Then you'll know you've awaken that sexually suppressed side of her. Hang in there. :yes:
Click to expand...

^^^ What he said. Great post Mo.
 
I think its odd whenever I meet a new girl, and I'm a girl, and she says she doesn't like for her man to go down on her... I give her the :eek::eek::eek: stare!!! but i know its all a matter of comfort. I wasn't always comfortable with it, but I was also younger and thought a lot of things were taboo or not for me... As she grows she'll find out what she likes....
 
I've been with chicks who didn't want to recieve or give. not a problem for me. they made up for it with good pussy, hands and sex skills.
 
Wow I didnt know they still made these:
playstation_one.jpg


No seriously...This is one area I can not help in...My thoughts?
COMMUNICATION!!!
 
Well when I was younger I thought it was DISGUSTING plus it felt funny but by the 2nd half of my 20s I figured it out lol.
 
Andeyhollawho said:
You may need to up your skills too. In addition to the previous posts. You don't have a grill like this do you?

beaver-coloured_200x176.gif


:lol:
Click to expand...

:lol::lol::lol:

lemme answer the orginal question...

i used to HATE giving oral...i would do it bad on purpose just so he wouldnt ask me...im talking about teef and everything

honestly it wasnt until i started watching porn did i decide i liked it...watching a man in pleasure like that is such a fucking turn on for me, not to mention watching the flicks helped me understand how to do it better

i also realized giving head is about one of the only times when i am in total control...and i fucking love it

here is my suggestion for you....

get her to watch porn.....pick out some good ones where the girl is good at what she is doing (just make sure the guys not extra raunchy telling her "to suck that shit bitch"...unless she is nasty like that)

so yall watch the flicks together...and she can get a better understanding on how its done

then...start doing 69...so shes getting pleasure out of it too.

i would also make sure u finger her...rub her...touch her while shes doing it...we loved to be touched...not to mention it will turn her on more knowing you are enjoying it

when shes starting out...suggest she put whipped cream..chocolate...caramel syrup...something that tastes good...it will make it easier for her...covers weird tastes...makes her mouth wett

now personally i have a senstive gag relex...there are mints and gums that u can buy at the sex toy stores that numbs the mouth that can make it easier on her

personally the more i get into it i guess i kinda forget about it....expecially if he is serving me some serious amazing dick....if he is banging my back out i will GLADLY serve him for hours in gratitude...lol

lemme know if any of this helps
 
oops...forgot about the second part

personally im not a huge fan of recieving oral...thats mainly cause i really get off on penitration

honestly most guys arent good at doing it...so if i do get it...im just happy he is going the extra step to please me...just a few minutes will do

but there have been a few that were AMAZING....now from them...i wouldnt mind getting it every day:D

i would suggest maybe using a toy while u service her...or finger her while u do it

honestly it sounds more like shes not confortable with it...instead of just flat out not liking it

thats a pyschological isssue that you might need to just talk out
 
She has to feel comfortable with her own body; especially her scents. Women are usually uncomfortable about receiving oral when they aren't sure if their scent is correct before you go down on her.

So I suggest that you set up a bubble bath with candles, some soft music (not T-Pain or even R. Kelly for that matter) and bath her from head to toe... dry her off, lotion or oil her down with precise strokes and finger tips... kiss her all over (completely) and don't think of going down on her as "eating her out" - think of it as "giving her sensual temple a french kiss"... kiss her sweet spot the way that you'd kiss the lips on her face, soft and methodical - long licks from bottom to top, top to bottom and keep it soft on an extreme level... lick her thighs to throw off what you're actually doing to her... good luck
 
I don't like receiving oral, and it has nothing to not liking my body or the way I taste. It's just not my thing, and I would rather get to the penetration.
If you want to receive more oral sex from her, maybe you should just tell her that. In fact, since ya'll have been dating for a while, there should be a certain level of comfort, and maybe you should just have a talk about sex. Tell her the way you feel. Maybe she'll be more receptive once she knows where you're coming from.
 
I have never liked anyone "going down" on me. I do love to please my boo that way though:yes:

Different strokes for different folks;)
 
Originally Posted By Andeyhollawho

You may need to up your skills too. In addition to the previous posts. You don't have a grill like this do you?
Click to expand...

Haha, nahh nigga. I ain't got no shit like that. :lol:

Wow, thanks for all the feedback.

Just to clarify, when she has let me go down on her, I know she likes it. She be archin' her back, jumpin around, grabbin and bitin the pillows and shit. After about 30 seconds, she'll pull me up and tell me to fuck her (with those big ass "get in my belly" eyes :lol:). It's like she's scared to get into it or don't want to let herself go or.....hell I don't know.

And to get my girl to watch porn would be like gettin Hillary Clinton to drop out of the Democratic race. You mention the word "porn" around her and she don't want no parts of it. She's really uncomfortable even talkin about sex honestly. It took literally 20 minutes to get her to tell me that she had never given a guy head before me.

Anyways, when I try to do it, I try to get her to relax. Lay her down. I usually massage her (I like foreplay) and work my way down slowly, kissing her, you know. As soon as I get right under the belly button, that's when she starts jumpin. So I'll play around the inner thighs a little and once every now and then, she lets me go in for a few seconds.

I just gotta find other ways of gettin' her to relax I guess.
 
legend_86 said:
Haha, nahh nigga. I ain't got no shit like that. :lol:

Wow, thanks for all the feedback.

Just to clarify, when she has let me go down on her, I know she likes it. She be archin' her back, jumpin around, grabbin and bitin the pillows and shit. After about 30 seconds, she'll pull me up and tell me to fuck her (with those big ass "get in my belly" eyes :lol:). It's like she's scared to get into it or don't want to let herself go or.....hell I don't know.

And to get my girl to watch porn would be like gettin Hillary Clinton to drop out of the Democratic race. You mention the word "porn" around her and she don't want no parts of it. She's really uncomfortable even talkin about sex honestly. It took literally 20 minutes to get her to tell me that she had never given a guy head before me.

Anyways, when I try to do it, I try to get her to relax. Lay her down. I usually massage her (I like foreplay) and work my way down slowly, kissing her, you know. As soon as I get right under the belly button, that's when she starts jumpin. So I'll play around the inner thighs a little and once every now and then, she lets me go in for a few seconds.

I just gotta find other ways of gettin' her to relax I guess.
Click to expand...

You need to relax her mind. Massages, bubble baths, drinks etc, are to relax her mind not her body. When she hits the door you need to take her mind away from all the troubles of the day. Just like in the movie the Matrix, Morpheus had to free Neo's mind. You must free her mind. When her mind is free her body will also be free.

Don't let her dictate the pace of the sexual encounter. Black women from their early sexual encounters (sneaking it when no one was at home) tend to rush into intercourse. Teach her not to rush. In time she will understand and she'll enjoy sex that much more.

She may have a super-sensitive clit and that can be a problem. Lets say her clit is exposed (not hooded) and your locked in on it right from the start. When a woman's clit is super-sensitive that fast into the act it won't be as pleasurable. She won't to enjoy the act very long, you will need to do something else. If that is the case then you need to adjust your approach. Don't jump right on it work the other areas first. Don't even touch the clit, and when you do make it nice and slow, ease her into enjoying the act, make her body come to your tounge. But again don't give her direct stimulation she wants it but its you just need to make her want it more.

However if she's orgasmic doing it her way (you never said) then you should go with the flow. I wouldn't try and reinvent the wheel.
 
^^^
Yeah, orgasms ain't really the problem. I'm just amazed that she doesn't want oral. I didn't even think those kind of girls existed.

I just want to do something different. Make foreplay last longer and more enjoyable you know?
 
legend_86 said:
^^^
Yeah, orgasms ain't really the problem. I'm just amazed that she doesn't want oral. I didn't even think those kind of girls existed.

I just want to do something different. Make foreplay last longer and more enjoyable you know?
Click to expand...

Then as I said before you need to take the leed. Don't allow her to rush through the sessions. Teach her how to prolong the ecstasy. How to make an evening of it. So if her favorite show comes on at 9pm. Don't try to squeeze a session in withon a half hour just so she can see her show. Wait till the show goes off then start.

I don't like to be rushed either. It takes something away.
 
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She's faking her orgasms. She hasn't really cum with you if she won't let you taste her. Who gives head for 30 seconds? How can you say you have a good sex life with her and she's holding back? Depending on how old she is/you are, I would get rid of her
 
^^
Haha, nahh she ain't fakin no orgasms. I ain't gonna put all of our business out there but I know that ain't happening.

And I can't see dumping a girl I could see myself with in the future over some head. Seems real petty to me.

And I can say that we got a good sex life cause, I mean, when it comes to the actual sex, her shit is good. Like Mo-Better said, Every woman got that sexual freak inside of them. My girl is real reserved, but when it's just me and her gettin down to the get down, she can get a little feaky. I've pulled out, came on her, and she grabbed my shit and put it right back in afterwards! She's willing to try new positions if I ask her to also.

She's just uncomfortable talkin about sex and oral. I'd never dump her over it, but it's like that forbidden fruit thing. You wanna do it even more cause you can't. Nah mean?

I just wanted to know if anyone had experienced this before and what y'all did to try to make your significant other realize that you're doing this cause you love them and you love to please them and it ain't something that you should be ashamed of.
 
legend_86 said:
^^
Haha, nahh she ain't fakin no orgasms. I ain't gonna put all of our business out there but I know that ain't happening.

And I can't see dumping a girl I could see myself with in the future over some head. Seems real petty to me.

And I can say that we got a good sex life cause, I mean, when it comes to the actual sex, her shit is good. Like Mo-Better said, Every woman got that sexual freak inside of them. My girl is real reserved, but when it's just me and her gettin down to the get down, she can get a little feaky. I've pulled out, came on her, and she grabbed my shit and put it right back in afterwards! She's willing to try new positions if I ask her to also.

She's just uncomfortable talkin about sex and oral. I'd never dump her over it, but it's like that forbidden fruit thing. You wanna do it even more cause you can't. Nah mean?

I just wanted to know if anyone had experienced this before and what y'all did to try to make your significant other realize that you're doing this cause you love them and you love to please them and it ain't something that you should be ashamed of.
Click to expand...
That's why I said depending on how old she is. If she's 30 acting like that, it's different from a twenty year old
 
legend_86 said:
^^
Haha, nahh she ain't fakin no orgasms. I ain't gonna put all of our business out there but I know that ain't happening.

And I can't see dumping a girl I could see myself with in the future over some head. Seems real petty to me.

And I can say that we got a good sex life cause, I mean, when it comes to the actual sex, her shit is good. Like Mo-Better said, Every woman got that sexual freak inside of them. My girl is real reserved, but when it's just me and her gettin down to the get down, she can get a little feaky. I've pulled out, came on her, and she grabbed my shit and put it right back in afterwards! She's willing to try new positions if I ask her to also.

She's just uncomfortable talkin about sex and oral. I'd never dump her over it, but it's like that forbidden fruit thing. You wanna do it even more cause you can't. Nah mean?

I just wanted to know if anyone had experienced this before and what y'all did to try to make your significant other realize that you're doing this cause you love them and you love to please them and it ain't something that you should be ashamed of.
Click to expand...

Interesting that she is willing to risk a possible pregnancy or something else by doing this than allow you to give her oral.

I hope that you will take MoB's advice and take your time and communicate with her. Otherwise just give it up.


Peace
 
I know that I've had some bad experiences when it came to receiving head:

1) I'm very sensitive down there, and some men seem to want to go all crazy on me!!! I don't like my clit sucked on and so much pressure applied to that area. For her, it may feel that way too. Feel her out and see if she likes it slower and gentler.

2) I cum easily, and I know, if a man is doing the right thing down there, I'm going to cum too quickly. So, I like switching it up...

3) Some men just aren't good at it, and it feels like a waste of time...for me. I know he may be enjoying it, so I'll do it for the sake of his enjoyment. But, in all honesty, I may be thinking, "Please...no more!"

4) Just like some women may give a half-ass blow job, some men give some half-ass oral sex...they're not committing to it and a woman can pick up on that...
 

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