Could you be happy in this situation...

[Andeyhollawho]

Ok I don't start many threads and this one may get my ass ripped to shreds but oh well!

I was at the barbershop today and for some reason She Hate Me the Spike Lee movie came up. I'm gonna assume everybody has seen it. If not I'll explain better but briefly...Anthony Mackie and Kerry Washington were in a relationship. Kerry cheats with a woman. Comes back and says she wants Mackie to father her and about 20 other lesbian women babies her current girlfriend included (Dania Ramirez). Fight, fight, fuck, fuck, blah, blah.

At the end is where the convo sparked up from...Mackie, Kerry and her girlfriend all end up being one happy family for the sake of the kids (I guess) and their love for each other...Mackie/Kerry and Kerry/Ramirez.

Ladies is this even feasible? Could three people ever be in a meaningful relationship? Even if all three were VERY good freinds? I think this was made a little easier for some because it was two women. Two men one woman threw the whole convo out of balance!

I got my opinion, but I will reserve it for now. What do you think?

 

[greygoose]

 

[Mo-Better]

Happy Mother's Day!

 

[BIGBLUE2006]

A little off topic but, Boys concieved should have the dad or a day 1 male figure on deck to keep them from falling victim to "over-tittie" that has most of todays 18-30 yr old men all sissy screwed up now.

 

[ladyscorpio]

Andey no more Patron for you

 

[LoneStar29]

No I wouldn't be happy in that situation ... wether it's with a girl/guy or guy/guypuke ... I think a relationship is for 2 people ... and ONLY 2 people

I don't like it when people use "the kids" as a way of staying in a fucked up relationship

 

[femmenoire]

I'd be ok if my man had a side piece that he went to occasionally as long as I was aware of it and as long as she knows her place.

 

[Mo-Better]

I'd be ok if my man had a side piece that he went to occasionally as long as I was aware of it and as long as she knows her place.

There must be some other stipulations your not telling us.

 

[femmenoire]

There must be some other stipulations your not telling us.

As long as the house is in order. I don't want to work a 9-5 as a wife. I want to work out, take my kids to all their activities, throw decorating parties, and shop. If I get all that, I think my hubby is entitled to his share of "fun".

 

[LoneStar29]

^^^Damn Femme ... WORD

 

[followup]

I'd be ok if my man had a side piece that he went to occasionally as long as I was aware of it and as long as she knows her place.

Do you get to have something on the side too? (I don't know any man that would agree to that, just curious)

 

[femmenoire]

Do you get to have something on the side too? (I don't know any man that would agree to that, just curious)

I don't have to no. But if I did, I wouldn't expect him to be upset about it either.

I think humans are unrealistic about human behavior. I think if you are realistic and realize that sex is just sex, than it's not that big of a deal.

It's when you are disrespected that is an issue. At least that is the issue for me.

 

[followup]

I don't have to no. But if I did, I wouldn't expect him to be upset about it either.

I think humans are unrealistic about human behavior. I think if you are realistic and realize that sex is just sex, than it's not that big of a deal.

It's when you are disrespected that is an issue. At least that is the issue for me.

I couldn't do it. I'd just as soon have someone father my children without bothering to get married. The whole premise of marriage is to be faithful to that one person. I'm not gonna stand up and lie to God and my family

Edit: just re-read. You said "my man". Not "my husband". I stand corrected

 

[femmenoire]

I couldn't do it. I'd just as soon have someone father my children without bothering to get married. The whole premise of marriage is to be faithful to that one person. I'm not gonna stand up and lie to God and my family

Edit: just re-read. You said "my man". Not "my husband". I stand corrected

That is the premise according to European values that they themselves hold no regards.

I've always been one to make up my own rules. Now if my man says "there is no other but you", then I'm going to hold him to that. But personally I think men say that to blow smoke up womens asses. There will always be someone else that a man would risk EVERYTHING for and he can be the best thing since sliced bread.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Andey no more Patron for you

You always look out for me my queen yes!

 

[Andeyhollawho]

No I wouldn't be happy in that situation ... wether it's with a girl/guy or guy/guypuke ... I think a relationship is for 2 people ... and ONLY 2 people

I don't like it when people use "the kids" as a way of staying in a fucked up relationship

Ok here go the first argument that came up. And this was from the ladies in the shop.

They said the reason they "worked it out" was because he was the father of both of their kids and since they (the girls) were already in a relationship they need the father of both their kids to be in their life. I said bullshit to this one.

My point was what if he had dated one girl and got her pregnant, then dated the other girl and got her pregnant, THEN those two ladies went on to date each other. I'm pretty sure the ex of both women wouldn't be so welcomed.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

I don't have to no. But if I did, I wouldn't expect him to be upset about it either.

I think humans are unrealistic about human behavior. I think if you are realistic and realize that sex is just sex, than it's not that big of a deal.

It's when you are disrespected that is an issue. At least that is the issue for me.

This was sort of my point as to how it could happen, but I still think it's unlikely.

The thing is that people cheat all the damn time. If permission is granted and agreed upon then it takes that away. So you know if your man is not with you then he is with her and you cool with it. No disrespect.

Now what happens when your man and his "piece" start to have problems and he wants another one? Are you gonna help him find her? How many is he allowed to break up with and move on to?

My point is that you two would have to be in agreement on the girl. You would have to get to know her and approve of her. If that means testing or whatever then so be it. One of the ladies said I took it too far on that one and that she wouldn't want to be involved in the process.

 

[femmenoire]

This was sort of my point as to how it could happen, but I still think it's unlikely.

The thing is that people cheat all the damn time. If permission is granted and agreed upon then it takes that away. So you know if your man is not with you then he is with her and you cool with it. No disrespect.

Now what happens when your man and his "piece" start to have problems and he wants another one? Are you gonna help him find her? How many is he allowed to break up with and move on to?

My point is that you two would have to be in agreement on the girl. You would have to get to know her and approve of her. If that means testing or whatever then so be it. One of the ladies said I took it too far on that one and that she wouldn't want to be involved in the process.

I agree with that. I wouldn't mind coming to agreement on who the side piece is going to be.

 

[Andeyhollawho]

I agree with that. I wouldn't mind coming to agreement on who the side piece is going to be.

So what if it wasn't a side piece but a actual physical relationship with your man and another woman?

 

[onyxfemme]

Ummmm hell no I couldnt and wouldnt be happy in this situation On either realm....He cant creep out and have a piece on the side and I cant either.
Marriage is just that..Marriage between 2 people. IMO it almost seems that our generation is where we dont feel deserving of a mutual one on one relationship. We accept bullshit because it is common. As much as I flirt, I aint going no where and neither is my husband. Dayum it ya'll den' made me mad on Mother's Day!!

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Ummmm hell no I couldnt and wouldnt be happy in this situation On either realm....He cant creep out and have a piece on the side and I cant either.
Marriage is just that..Marriage between 2 people. IMO it almost seems that our generation is where we dont feel deserving of a mutual one on one relationship. We accept bullshit because it is common. As much as I flirt, I aint going no where and neither is my husband. Dayum it ya'll den' made me mad on Mother's Day!!

Not creeping OF. Relationship. Could 3 people be in a committed relationship with each other. In the movie all three of them knew each other. The girl had dated the guy and was dating the other woman.

Not to make you mad, but...I'm saying if 3 people actually tried to make that work could they?

 

[onyxfemme]

Not creeping OF. Relationship. Could 3 people be in a committed relationship with each other. In the movie all three of them knew each other. The girl had dated the guy and was dating the other woman.

Not to make you mad, but...I'm saying if 3 people actually tried to make that work could they?

Nope it couldnt work
Let me explain. I have a friend that is a model. We will call her "L"
L is very eclectic-think Erykah Badu She married this guy, we will call him "C". L was bi and C knew that. A little after they got married C told her that he wanted a 2nd wife. Since she was bi she thought, Oh Yeah best of both worlds. They moved a chick we will call "M" into their home.............

Now: L&M are together living in a House that has like 2 apartments. L lives down stairs w/ her 2 children and M lives up stairs. Where is C???? Panhandling downtown here in Indy.


REAL TRUE STORY

 

[Andeyhollawho]

Nope it couldnt work
Let me explain. I have a friend that is a model. We will call her "L"
L is very eclectic-think Erykah Badu She married this guy, we will call him "C". L was bi and C knew that. A little after they got married C told her that he wanted a 2nd wife. Since she was bi she thought, Oh Yeah best of both worlds. They moved a chick we will call "M" into their home.............

Now: L&M are together living in a House that has like 2 apartments. L lives down stairs w/ her 2 children and M lives up stairs. Where is C???? Panhandling downtown here in Indy.


REAL TRUE STORY

His fault. By the way I don't think this shit could ever work myself, but the argument got pretty heated and some good points were brought up.

The only one that stuck is...What if they were freinds first? What if L, C and M all knew each other from like HS or college. Been knowing each other for like 10 years or so. Close with each other. Maybe even dated in combinations before, but still close freinds.

I still think this is too close for comfort, but this was the sticking point for the argument so...