its always been more random for me. when im just doing my shit not even trying to meet a dude. so i figure the best way is just do what the fuck i gotta do but look nice while I'm doing it.
Sistas Do You Still Love Black Men???
- Thread starter CT's Finest
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its always been more random for me. when im just doing my shit not even trying to meet a dude. so i figure the best way is just do what the fuck i gotta do but look nice while I'm doing it.
I guess if you're already at the places these guys hang out at and you're not getting the attention you'd like you may need to find another strategy. I think you should try to approach the guy. You mentioned being really bad at pool and bowling, so you could use that to your advantage. Ask someone you think is attractive to help you. That will help your game in more ways than one
. If you're not in that particular situation just approach someone in the way you'd like to be approached. I don't know you, but I will guess that you're the type of woman who just wants someone to be real with her. If that's the case you're probably not in to pick up lines and guys who try too hard. You might like someone who just comes up and starts a nice conversation. If any of this does apply to you, you should approach a man in the same way. Give that a try and see how that works. Real men can handle that with no problem...^^^^ Bigirl, you posted while I was typing, but this might help you too...^^^^
carmelcute>>>
Well, forgive me for assuming,are u...!!!?
Well, forgive me for assuming,are u...!!!?
GYH, In case you missed this on page 3...
That is me, I have had that avi up for a few months now and I think some ask, if it's me, to break the ice...
I honestly didn't know that was you, but I see how that question can be used as an ice breaker. Since I did ask, let's consider...
...the ice broken.
Always have loved them, always will. Not much trumps having a good black man by my side personally. The positive male role model in my life is my dad, mostly because of his inactions. He was a presence when I was younger, made sure I was on top of my studies, and taught me most of the principles I hold close to me. But aside from that, he was cold as ice. Didn't take an interest in the things me and my brother wanted to do, cheated on my mom left and right, and never really showed her love. Those things showed me what a man should be and how he should treat his wife and kids.
It seems like what your father did and what he did not do served as opportunities to learn and to grow for you. I think that's important. We can learn from all of our experiences. I hope you continue to have good relationships with (black) men in your present and in your future.
My father. Great man. No, not perfect, but he taught me how to respect myself and has always encouraged me to follow my dreams. He told me that it's easy to follow the crowd, but hard to stand alone. He wouldn't let me date until I was 17. I spent many Saturday nights with him and my mom playing games, learning how to fix cars, build stuff, etc, which was LAME at the time, but my relationship with them now is unbreakable. When I went to college, I didn't feel the need to go crazy like other freshmen. He showed me how to have fun without disrespecting myself. He kept me from a lot of things I thought would be fun, but really would have given me heartache, and even though I hated it at the time, I love him for it now.
My Uncle Bob. He was an engineer for NASA for 39 years. Very smart man. He is like a second father. Really funny, always pushed me to go higher and dream big. He put it in my mind that I can do anything, and now I believe him.
I have other strong black men in my life, but those are the most important.
I'll be honest...lately I've been dating white guys. I'm relatively new to the city I live in, and they are the only ones that approach. But I do love black men.
My Uncle Bob. He was an engineer for NASA for 39 years. Very smart man. He is like a second father. Really funny, always pushed me to go higher and dream big. He put it in my mind that I can do anything, and now I believe him.
I have other strong black men in my life, but those are the most important.
I'll be honest...lately I've been dating white guys. I'm relatively new to the city I live in, and they are the only ones that approach. But I do love black men.
There is nothing wrong with this at all. It's not like you have comletely omitted us from your dating pool. But I digress.....
"CARAMELCUTE" (the name itself is a skin reference) is stuck on the fact that since she's somehow achieved in life, that she should be placed above the very men she most probably lusted after and dissed decent brothers for. Now I personally don't think a house, car and job is achieving anything, as those are basic survival tool in America today, but whatever. The point is, her post about not loving us is a reflection of the self hate she (and most likely her family) possesses (and has for generations). She will most likely NOT overcome those faults as they are ingrained in her psyche since chilhood, and taught by every matriarchal figure in her family line. We've all hear the "light is right" bullshit perpetuated within our own culture. It is very evident by her posts she is a product of it. Hopefully she will find that white man, who is supposed to make all her degradation of brothers okay (in her mind) and live her fairy tale. She's not welcome on our side of the fence anymore, but you are. Anytime.
I dont care about being welcome on "your side of the fence" as you put it because you dont kn ow anything. I think alot of folks realize anger and frustration make you type things that you shouldnt and dont mean. I am not going to get into it with you because its obvious you havent the slightest idea of whats going on. I am good with what is in my life. Thank you goodbye.
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Although my father wasn't in my life,my Grandfather (RIP) played an important role.... Although I may not agree with some of the decisions SOME black men make...(i.e. using white women as trophies and abandoning their offspring) I STILL love them. There is nothing in this world like a strong BLACK MAN!
Something About A Black Man!!!!
There's something about a black man's walk
the slight bow of his legs
the inviting bounce in his step
the confidence of his stride
the slight tremor of the ground as he passes by
that makes me want to...
follow him.
There's something about a black man's smile
at first shy, then spreading wide
the invitation it gives to his space
the sexy allure it adds to his face
the authenticity that makes it shine
that makes me want to smile ...
with him.
There's something about a black man's eyes
the light it gives in the night
the twinkle that preludes his smile
the wink that tells me, "You are mine."
that makes me want to stare ...
at him.
There's something about a black man's words
at times demanding, other times so gentle
the knowledge that he shares in every syllable
the caress it can make me feel without him even touching me
that makes me want to listen ...
to him
There's something about a black man's arms
the softly rippling muscles exquisitely defined
the sensitivity that flows when he holds me
the strength it exudes when it's protection I seek.
that makes me want to ...
embrace him
There's something about a black man's heart
the tender center beneath a battle scarred barrier
the way it holds all of him together
the times it changed in order to survive
the way it melts when love brings it alive
that makes me want to spend ...
eternity...
with him.
-- By Night - Angel
Something About A Black Man!!!!
There's something about a black man's walk
the slight bow of his legs
the inviting bounce in his step
the confidence of his stride
the slight tremor of the ground as he passes by
that makes me want to...
follow him.
There's something about a black man's smile
at first shy, then spreading wide
the invitation it gives to his space
the sexy allure it adds to his face
the authenticity that makes it shine
that makes me want to smile ...
with him.
There's something about a black man's eyes
the light it gives in the night
the twinkle that preludes his smile
the wink that tells me, "You are mine."
that makes me want to stare ...
at him.
There's something about a black man's words
at times demanding, other times so gentle
the knowledge that he shares in every syllable
the caress it can make me feel without him even touching me
that makes me want to listen ...
to him
There's something about a black man's arms
the softly rippling muscles exquisitely defined
the sensitivity that flows when he holds me
the strength it exudes when it's protection I seek.
that makes me want to ...
embrace him
There's something about a black man's heart
the tender center beneath a battle scarred barrier
the way it holds all of him together
the times it changed in order to survive
the way it melts when love brings it alive
that makes me want to spend ...
eternity...
with him.
-- By Night - Angel
But if you're good with your life, then why, on different occasions, have you expressed such vitriol and disappointment towards Black men and the fact that you can't seem to find/keep a good one?
I'll always love black men! Even after the bad relationships, crazy ones, etc. My heart still pitter patters when I see a handsome black man.
I sometimes wish they didn't give up so quickly on us sisters. Then I look at Michael Strahan and know that they sometimes come back...lol
I sometimes wish they didn't give up so quickly on us sisters. Then I look at Michael Strahan and know that they sometimes come back...lol
It seems have done everything to try to give a black man what he wants and they still dont seem to care nor appreciate it. I am not stuck up. Not by any means. I get complimented all the time on how I present myself. And I love my black men. Never did stop caring for them. I guess I am just frustrated in no matter what I do, it never seems to be good enough. So I just keep working and doing me.
With anyone I am interested in, its fifty fifty. I never change to make someone like me. Either they do or they dont.
Maybe you need to move...or pick better men...or lower your standards. I mean if you haven't found one right dude then maybe, JUST maybe, it's you.
[flash]http://youtube.com/v/1zpTQCQEFhg[/flash]
Thats just it. Thats why I talked about my material possessions. I dont need a guy to provide for me money wise. Wealth and deep pockets are things I dont need. I wont mate with a criminal or known thug. I dont want to bring children up around that. I can overlook a child or two as long as you are being responsible and raising and taking care of him. I dont even care if your body isnt stellar. Of course I dont want a "fat boy" sorry I was watching Krush Groove and they popped in my mind but he doesnt have to be six pack abs dude either. I definitely am not totally happy with my body despite losing about thirty pounds. I just want to meet a nice single honest noncriminal man. Period. I dont want you to come at me and then not tell me you are married/ have a girlfriend/ or is intending to settle with a girl. I respect boundaries. Is there anything wrong with that?
As a man, it is very off-putting for a woman to be all "I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN? I don't need ur money or your car or your anything." Number one, that SHIT is annoying and number two, you're subconsciously saying IM THE MAN, I PROVIDE. You're emasculating the man. A man wants first and foremost to be a man in the relationship and a lot of you young Black professionals who are grew up with momma telling you "Books first, boys last" and you had to fight, scratch and claw to get what you got, don't realize that. So when it's time to find a mate and you say all that, you're subconsciously saying "I don't need you to bring shit to the table cause I have it" which will make good honest hardworking brothers turn away. What you have left are involved men (who are already taking care of families and can't afford to do it to multiple women, so they look for women like you) and slum bum men (who CAN'T afford to take care of women, HELL themselves, so they put a front on as a "good man" and prey on women like yourself).
That isnt how intend to come across. I am very proud of my accomplishments because truly I could have been a statistic. I want a guy who is with me to know I have my priorities in order and ducks in a row. I am not trying to make him feel less of a man but instead uplift him more. I never saw it in the light you protrayed though. Thanks.
CC I hope the advise you've been getting in here, in the PM's, and in life is helping you. Relationships are works in progress and we've all got to be willing to get our hands dirty...
You may not intend to, but that is how it comes across. Hell that is how it comes across to ME and I'm not even around you, so I can imagine that its oozes out of you in person. It's ok to be proud, but there's a difference between pride and hubris. You're more towards the latter. You also act as if your story is unique. You could've been a statistic, GUESS WHAT, so could I, as a matter of fact, I was more likely to be a statistic than you were being a black male in a single-parent home in a bad neighborhood (and I mean BAAAAAAD). The odds were stacked against me and I overcame. But I don't treat my life as a some Dickensian tale that is to be told to the masses because I realize that there are thousands of Black men like me across this country, who came from similar situations. I know you wanna be Oprah and have this grand story, rags to riches, but there are thousands more of you, hell, I went to school with 200 of you. Your life is not some Red Badge of Courage to be worn on your sleeve. You can have your priorities in order, there is nothing wrong with that, you just gotta realize that shit is offputting.
Imagine cars could talk. Ok, now imagine you're buying a car and the car is trying to sell itself to you and the car goes on and on about his horsepower and all that. Then it starts on some "I have the latest technology in automatic driving, I can drive myself. I don't even need a driver, just someone to sit in me so I don't look crazy driving along the road without passengers." You see how that sounds. That's how you're coming across. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I'm trying to show you.
You know my life was filled with one black man after another disappointing me. But there is nothing like a black man's love admiration, and devotion when given completely to you. it gives you an inner strength, and drive. When my husband holds me and tells me he loves me there ain't nothing like it. How can you not.
All points are good
Thank you
Despite my harsh tone and your unseemly attitude...
[flash]http://youtube.com/v/U5DAf0fYMZI[/flash]
This was the jam back in the day.
I'm trying to figure out what relevance this has to why you do or do not love Black men. Is it possible that we're materialistic and color struck as well? If you (speaking in the plural) haven't had your heart broken, you haven't really lived. It's like winning all the time. You can't really appreciate it until you've lost. You state that you don't love "Black men" but, then you speak of "boys". I'm sure you are aware that there is a difference. At leat I hope you do. If all you see is slouchy pants wearin', baby havin', young Black men. Then perhaps you're looking in the wrong place. If you feel the need to get a white man, please do. They'll see you for just what you are to them. A light skinned, sweet, honest, caring, hard working, well proportioned (N) word. Much respect but, you're confused.
You're contradiciting yourself. You said in your first post that you "hate Black men". I just blasted you on your earlier post. I apologize if you didn't mean what you said earlier. if you did, then I don't. I say to you again, you are looking in the wrong places. Don't down ALL of our young lions. There are plenty of them that are trying to make it. (like my oldest that's in Grad school. I speak of what I know. not of what I think).And the one thing they don't need is a young Sister downing them. Trust, they get enough of that from white society. I know. I was young once. sure there are ones out there that aren't trying. Why are you even entertaining the ones that aren't worth anything? Please don't fall in the category of women that say, "my Boo cute, I can change him". A leopard never changes his/her spots. Someone mentioned to you earlier that your "listing" of what you have comes across as "hey, I got everything" I don't need you. and quiet as it's kept, a young Brother that's got his act together don't need you either. But, it ain't about that. It's about wanting each other and the same things out of life.
Hey I will speak with you later okay? I have a 12 hour shift to put in at the hospital.
This is coming from me personally and is not meant to speak for all Black men. But I don't really care if black women love us anymore. Plus, I think the boundaries of black and white have been transcended...90% of the sistas I know use the, "Race doesn't matter slogan". That means you will compete with white and other for women that have the same complexion as you, and in most cases lose unless you're an athlete, doctor or high profile attorney. No other race of women show such disloyalty to their men...and that's a fact.
I focus more on the individual regardless of race, which was tough for me because I only dated black women in the past. Now, whoever has love for me, I'm down with, white, black, asian, hispanic, African, German or other.
^^^^ Interesting... ^^^^
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