Question to the ladies. Who is responsible for your orgasms, your mate or you?

[Mo-Better]

I see the question as "who's responsible for making sure that you cum" in that sense, YOU are. But it's not necessarily a selfish thing cuz the best way to do that is to make sure your partner is experiencing as much pleasure as possible. Like I said before, the better they feel, the better you feel. I LOVE when a man moans and talks shit and tells me how good it is I get off on how good I can make HIM feel...makes it easy to cum

This is a perfect response. Each partner knows what they like. That is a given. But let's say its a new relationship, both may have ideas about what the other person likes but the touch or technique may not be what he or she likes. So you have to work at it and talk your way through it.

So what do you do? You take control, you get yourself off and by doing so it educates your partner. The next time the sex should be outstanding. Also I've seen times when a woman just wanted to get off on her own while riding on top. You might even bring a few toys to bed with you and never use them. Every sexual encounter is different.

There of course are times (Femme) when people do get together and they just click. It happens, I've had it happen on more than one occasion and the experence is fantastic. But there's no guarantees that all new encounters will be so rewarding, so we communicate.

 

[geechiedan]

I don't think you guys are understanding what I'm talking about.

you're personalizing something thats not under your control.

When I say take control of your orgasm..I don't mean get your nut and roll over and go to sleep. I mean understand that whatever it takes to get your partner off is ultimately something that they need to be willing to allow to happen. And thats something that you have no control over.

If your girl only experiences orgasms clitorally then no amount of deep dicking is going to make her cum. And unless the clit is stimulated its not going to happen..whether you do it with a reach around or she does it herself..SOMEBODY'S going to have to do it. Taking credit for it is pure ego. Its the same differece with vaginal orgasms. Just because you put the "mandingo stroke" on her doesn't mean your dick has the magic touch. A finger or dildo can reach that same spot..you just happen to be attached to the thing that does..

Thats why I made the video clip and asked the question..who had the better orgasm..

The first one with dana vespoli shows her getting fucked in the ass...she then asked mr marcus to lick her armpit..now while hes doing all that..she starts stroking her clit. Then she has what looks like an intense orgasm.

In the second clip 99 is getting fucked pretty hard in the ass by jack napier (at first it looks like she's acting then suddenly really gets into it) when she has what looks like an intense orgasm herself anally.

Is dana's orgasmic experience any less and 99's because she had to stroke her clip to achieve it and 99 got hers from straight hard fucking?

Is mr.marcus less of a sex partner than jack napier because jack's dick was what achieved the orgasm as opposed to dana's fingers?

 

[SuperGenius]

Honestly, ME. I know what it takes to make me cum. If he isn't getting me there, it's my responsibility to show/tell him how he can get me there. But I already know if I ride him I'm gonna cum, or if it's missionary position, exactly how to move my hips so he's hitting the spot and I can explode. When his head is between my legs, if he's missing it I can show him with my fingers where I want him to be or tell him and when he's gettin it react accordingly.

Just a couple of my girlfriends say they can't cum when having sex, and in their cases it's my opinion that they are focusing too hard on making sure he feels good. I say if I feel good, he's gonna feel good! Cause my pussy will get weter and warmer by the second, and I'll move in accordance and it's gonna drive him crazy. So, I focus on getting mine. I'm not selfish with it, but if you are too worried about what's jiggeling, or if you look fat, or does he like it like this; then you can't concentrate on getting your shit off.

So, knowing my body and what gets me off...and then communicating with my man is MY RESPONSIBILITY.

Respect...

 

[Mo-Better]

I don't think you guys are understanding what I'm talking about.

you're personalizing something thats not under your control.

When I say take control of your orgasm..I don't mean get your nut and roll over and go to sleep. I mean understand that whatever it takes to get your partner off is ultimately something that they need to be willing to allow to happen. And thats something that you have no control over.

If your girl only experiences orgasms clitorally then no amount of deep dicking is going to make her cum. And unless the clit is stimulated its not going to happen..whether you do it with a reach around or she does it herself..SOMEBODY'S going to have to do it. Taking credit for it is pure ego. Its the same differece with vaginal orgasms. Just because you put the "mandingo stroke" on her doesn't mean your dick has the magic touch. A finger or dildo can reach that same spot..you just happen to be attached to the thing that does..

Thats why I made the video clip and asked the question..who had the better orgasm..

The first one with dana vespoli shows her getting fucked in the ass...she then asked mr marcus to lick her armpit..now while hes doing all that..she starts stroking her clit. Then she has what looks like an intense orgasm.

In the second clip 99 is getting fucked pretty hard in the ass by jack napier (at first it looks like she's acting then suddenly really gets into it) when she has what looks like an intense orgasm herself anally.

Is dana's orgasmic experience any less and 99's because she had to stroke her clip to achieve it and 99 got hers from straight hard fucking?

Is mr.marcus less of a sex partner than jack napier because jack's dick was what achieved the orgasm as opposed to dana's fingers?

If you can believe what you see in a porn movie then I would go with video 2. But what an ego trip to ask someone to lick your armpit. I've had women make request but no one has ever asked for their armpit to be licked. Most women are too ticklish for that anyway.

 

[geechiedan]

If you can believe what you see in a porn movie then I would go with video 2. But what an ego trip to ask someone to lick your armpit. I've had women make request but no one has ever asked for their armpit to be licked. Most women are too ticklish for that anyway.

ahhhh...NOW we're getting someplace...this is the nitty gritty of this kind of discussion

okay..why do you feel vid 2 was better? what exactly made it better IYO?

and I thought that dana asking marcus to lick her armpit was a bit quirky but VERY sexy..she TOLD him to do something that would INCREASE her pleasure..something that he in no way would have done on his own for the reason you stated. But if thats what it takes to get her closer to that nutt then so be it..

IMO marcus doing it scores major points for him and her actually telling him and doing things to make her orgasm happen scores major points for her.

 

[geechiedan]

i posted the question on nina hartley's board...

now she's fucked more people than everyone on the boardplus she's a registered nurse...so we have a "professional opinion" here:

As I say in my book, your partner can't "give" you an orgasm. He or she can only help you find it, and assist if need be. My wiring is such that I pretty much have to be driving at the end, no matter how close he or she has gotten me during the lovemaking leading up to my orgasm. I may only have to take over for a few seconds, but I've got to do it myself.

Unless my partner is behaving like an asshole, it's never his or her "fault" if I don't come. I came of age in the 1970's, the era of "take responsibility for your own orgasm." I took that to heart and have done so ever since. I've enjoyed sex much more because of that notion of personal responsibility. It makes me more patient when my partner is having trouble finding his or her end point, and more willing to be helpful.

Sometimes being "helpful" consists of just lying next to him or her and twiddling a nipple or kissing or some such thing, while they jerk or diddle or buzz.

 

[lilsexii]

Is dana's orgasmic experience any less and 99's because she had to stroke her clip to achieve it and 99 got hers from straight hard fucking?

NO

Is mr.marcus less of a sex partner than jack napier because jack's dick was what achieved the orgasm as opposed to dana's fingers?

NO

What makes an orgasm better or worse? The same two episodes could have happened to the same two people on different occasions. There are too many variables with each sexual encounter to say how it should go every time. The bottom line is that each told their partner what they wanted, one assisted, but both achieved their goal - intense orgasm.

If I took the highway and you took the side streets but we end up at the same place, does it really matter HOW we got there?

 

[Mo-Better]

ahhhh...NOW we're getting someplace...this is the nitty gritty of this kind of discussion

okay..why do you feel vid 2 was better? what exactly made it better IYO?

and I thought that dana asking marcus to lick her armpit was a bit quirky but VERY sexy..she TOLD him to do something that would INCREASE her pleasure..something that he in no way would have done on his own for the reason you stated. But if thats what it takes to get her closer to that nutt then so be it..

IMO marcus doing it scores major points for him and her actually telling him and doing things to make her orgasm happen scores major points for her.

IMO and again if you can believe what you see in porn vids the 2nd scene seemed more intense. The facial expressions and arm movements keys.

Video one she helped herself get there but it just didn't seem very intense. Could've been to just get the scene over with.

I tend to rate orgasms on a scale of 1 to 5. Neither were earthshattering, Video 1 I gave a 2, in video 2 I gave a 3. If you want to see 4 and 5 rating orgasms watch Midori and Janet Jacme, take a look at them in the Horny Black Mothers series.

All women orgasm differently some have intense orgasms whereas you can see their stomach muscles clinch (if not covered with fat) while some have leg quivers, bite, scratch, screem, tremble, lock you into the pussy with their legs, squirt (the most intense), cry, launch themselves off your dick, some women's pussy will lock down on your dick and milk cum out of you, I even had one who would end up with leg cramps.

 

[thoughtone]

Women are responsible for their own climax. They have vibrators.