Ladies, tell us your idea of a perfect date.

[Alumni]

For the last several years I’ve noticed an increase in women complaining about being taken on bad dates. The funny thing is that when I’ve asked these ladies to give me their idea of what THEY feel a perfect date would be… they often don’t have an idea themselves. How can a man be expected to take a lady on a perfect date if she herself does know what one looks like? When pressed for an answer as to what a perfect date looks like, most ladies describe dates they themselves have said, “Weren’t perfect”.

So my question to you ladies, “What is your idea of a perfect date”?

My only request is that you ladies avoid being vague and generic when giving us your descriptions. Let me be more direct… don’t just say, “Dinner and a movie”. Tell us men what kind of dinner. What kind of movie. How you’d like him to be dressed. What would you like leading up to the date or after the date?

In a nutshell… walk us through the whole date!

 

[Izayoi]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

 

[mcguyver]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

 

[Izayoi]

What's wrong with my dates?

You don't like sushi? You can get the cooked kind!!!!!
Dang, ninjas don't want to try nothing new!

 

[TUNE]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

AND THEN YOU WOKE UP

 

[Izayoi]

AND THEN YOU WOKE UP

Alumni said be specific!

All right- how about a happy meal and a rollercoaster ride...then get my back blown out.

Actually sly devil Tune I've had both of those dates with different men....black men, too!!! Lol!

 

[Shadow]

I'm a sushi guy....

I also eat plenty of pineapples....

 

[Izayoi]

I'm a sushi guy....

I also eat plenty of pineapples....

Mmmm hmmm

Thank you Shadow good taste and tasting good.
I know what my dessert would be- better than little mini cheesecakes for sure

 

[TUNE]

Alumni said be specific!

All right- how about a happy meal and a rollercoaster ride...then get my back blown out.

Actually sly devil Tune I've had both of those dates with different men....black men, too!!! Lol!

and you deserved it too dear... you're lovely

but you have to realize the perfect date can only be achieved with me

 

[Izayoi]

[/COLOR]

and you deserved it too dear... you're lovely

Well coming from a handsome somebody like you, I am so flattered.

Fine as you are Tune, a happy meal WITH the toy (gotta have the toy) might still get us to the back broke out stage

Edit: But I aint fighting Sexy Scorpio. I know how she get down!

 

[TUNE]

Well coming from a handsome somebody like you, I am so flattered.

Fine as you are Tune, a happy meal WITH the toy (gotta have the toy) might still get us to the back broke out stage

OH YEEEEAAAH.... WELL POUR IT ON! ​

 

[TUNE]

Edit: But I aint fighting Sexy Scorpio. I know how she get down!

SHE HASN'T BEEN HOME IN WEEKS... I HAVEN'T SEEN HER NO CALL NO NOTHING

 

[MTL]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

Both sound perfect!

 

[Izayoi]

Both sound perfect!

Thank you MTL my sister! McGuyver tried to make it seem like I was asking for a cruise of Italy and 9 gold bricks!

It's just dinner and a movie with a twist.

 

[Alumni]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

Thanks lovely, you're one of the few ladies that has been able to articulate your idea of a perfect date. What you've described doesn't sound crazy at all. I would imagine that you get both of these dates at least 10 times a year.

 

[femmenoire]

Well I like dinners that have outside eating areas. There is a spot I like in Atlanta, Apres Diem. I love people watching over a glass of wine or a good vodka martini. There is a movie theatre so catching a show before that is cool. Then head to Centennial Park and enjoy the view. I'll take off my 5" heels and walk around reading the inscribed bricks on the ground and try to find a little cubby hole or corner to kiss and fondle each other hoping no one sees us.

 

[Harbinger]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

Alumni said be specific!

All right- how about a happy meal and a rollercoaster ride...then get my back blown out.

Actually sly devil Tune I've had both of those dates with different men....black men, too!!! Lol!

Well coming from a handsome somebody like you, I am so flattered.

Fine as you are Tune, a happy meal WITH the toy (gotta have the toy) might still get us to the back broke out stage

Edit: But I aint fighting Sexy Scorpio. I know how she get down!

I'mmmmmmmm sensing a theme here.

You should be careful, you could have back problems.

LOL!

 

[DaTakeOver]

Ohh fun question: I have two scenarios 1)Going out date and 2) Home Date

My favorite going out date:
So I really love to go out early evening summer because I don't like heat, but summer nights are perfect. I wear halter tops a lot.I'm little so I do braless and backless ok. High heel strappy sandals. I don't wear a lot of dresses or skirts- shorts or pants.

I want to meet for sushi (love sushi) and then I like to go to an independent movie theater. I like foreign films- british comedy, french films, and Korean horror flicks and ofcourse martial arts movies and anime.

Then we go for dessert and tea. I like cookies and little mini cheesecakes for treats.We can talk or make moon eyes- whatever.

Then at the end of the night I get my back blown out. Well assuming its not a first date *sigh*
Perfect!

....

Ok- 2) Home Date

I really love a man that can cook or we can cook together. I buy groceries, but he plans the menu then we can cook together or if he really wants to win points let me relax and watch some cartoons while he cooks. We can talk while he cooks. Then we have dinner, convo, and because he cooked I'll clean up. Then we can watch a movie together. Mind you I always fall asleep if I watch a movie at home, but I wake up at the end. Then I really like to give a nice massage or acupressure session since he was such a good guy to cook for me.

....and then I get my back blown out.

The end.

Wow...I need to go on a date with you! LOL

 

[HoneyBerry]

As far as how a man should dress on a date: Once you're out of high school, you should not wear jerseys or sneakers on a date. A nice pair of jeans or khakis and a button up shirt TUCKED IN should work fine for most dates.

I'll give you some of my favorite dates: (1) dinner at a small little Thai restaurant I had never been to and then dancing afterward. (2) I cooked dinner at my place and we watched DVDs and then I got a massage before bed. (3) My very first date we went to the beach and had a picnic. I ended up not liking the guy so much, but we had a great conversation right next to the ocean.

 

[Izayoi]

Thanks lovely, you're one of the few ladies that has been able to articulate your idea of a perfect date. What you've described doesn't sound crazy at all. I would imagine that you've get both of these dates at least 10 times a year.

Alumni I do get to go out on the number 1 date often enough. The number 2 date unfortunately I haven't had in years (my last was with a great guy I dated briefly - he made a good soul food meal, fried chicken and everything), because I'm always the one that ends up cooking! Now that I'm newly single again, I'm going to put "man must cook every once in a while" on my date wish list.

I'mmmmmmmm sensing a theme here.

You should be careful, you could have back problems.

LOL!

It's worth it! I get some acupuncture and deep tissue massage pop it right back in place.

Femme, that sounds lovely!

 

[lilsexii]

A few good dates I've had (I live in the A):

One guy took me to a movie at Atlantic Station, then we had drinks (their raspberry mojito is on fire) and dessert at Strip, then we walked around and talked, and talked, and talked.

Another one, we went to the Wednesday wind down at Centennial Park, then we had dinner at McCormick & Schmidts then walked around the park, talked, held hands, made out a little...

Harlem Bar for dinner & drinks, then Centennial Park. This guy was visiting so he wanted to take some touristy pictures and then he asked me to model for him so I was posing out in the park at like 1AM. We were still a lil tipsy, but it was fun as hell.

Last one, guy I was dating took me to the Royal Peacock (Reggae spot) and we got all sweaty dancing and stayed really late, then we went to IHOP and back to the crib for "dessert"...very HOT after all that grindin'.

I've been on dates where guys spent more money, but these are notable for me because the convo was the main thing. If you have stuff to talk about and you enjoy each other's company, it doesn't matter where you go or how much you spend. Just make sure you do something that gives you the opportunity to kick back, chat and get to know each other. Unless the chick is a gold digger, she should be more impressed with your mind anyway...right?

Also, I like trying new things, new restaurants, etc. Chain restaurants like Applebee's, Chili's, etc. are a turn off for me, for a first date anyway - seems unimaginative. You could spend the same amount of money and have a really good dinner somewhere else.

 

[lilsexii]

what kinda sucker ass niggas is finna do all this exotic shit for yall on the 1st date. the first date don't happen until you've already dropped the drawls too begin with.

Grown men.

 

[Mt. Yukon]

As far as how a man should dress on a date: Once you're out of high school, you should not wear jerseys or sneakers on a date. A nice pair of jeans or khakis and a button up shirt TUCKED IN should work fine for most dates.

I'll give you some of my favorite dates: (1) dinner at a small little Thai restaurant I had never been to and then dancing afterward. (2) I cooked dinner at my place and we watched DVDs and then I got a massage before bed. (3) My very first date we went to the beach and had a picnic. I ended up not liking the guy so much, but we had a great conversation right next to the ocean.

Tucked in??? With jeans??? Uhhhhhhhh... You tellin me that everything else is on point, but I have my button up untucked and Im gonna lose points??? Man yall gotta stop with this, grown men do this and that while little boys do that. A grownman does what he wants without fear of ridicule, but to you a grown man only dresses one type of way??? I agree jerseys and uptowns are not first date attire, but to have on a button up and tuck that bitch in some jeans is just splittin hairs, yall are gonna miss out on some real dudes thinkin like this. Maybe you already have. Dont know you personally, your probably good peoples, but Im starting to see why so many blackwomen are single and "cant find a good man."

 

[femmenoire]

Tucked in??? With jeans??? Uhhhhhhhh... You tellin me that everything else is on point, but I have my button up untucked and Im gonna lose points??? Man yall gotta stop with this, grown men do this and that while little boys do that. A grownman does what he wants without fear of ridicule, but to you a grown man only dresses one type of way??? I agree jerseys and uptowns are not first date attire, but to have on a button up and tuck that bitch in some jeans is just splittin hairs, yall are gonna miss out on some real dudes thinkin like this. Maybe you already have. Dont know you personally, your probably good peoples, but Im starting to see why so many blackwomen are single and "cant find a good man."

Well why would you wear a dress shirt out?

 

[Shadow]

As far as how a man should dress on a date: Once you're out of high school, you should not wear jerseys or sneakers on a date. A nice pair of jeans or khakis and a button up shirt TUCKED IN should work fine for most dates.

I'm not dressing up to take you to a movie if that's what we decide to do for our first date. A date is not always a formal occasion. Again I don't dress like I hopped out of a Solja Boy video so I think I would be fine.

I don't think any man with some fucking sense is tucking his shirt is some jeans. Might as well be wearing slacks or dress pants. The whole Idea of jeans is to be relaxed in the first place.
That's about as dumb as this woman telling me that you don't wear sneakers with jeans, but should be wearing a nice dress shoe.

You can imagine how far she got before she changed her tune.

Yukon adressed this properly. Men do what the want without ridicule.

 

[Mt. Yukon]

Well why would you wear a dress shirt out?

A dress shirt is only a dress shirt when I make it one. Anything with jeans is not a dress shirt, its casual. Now if I put on some slacks, and some "dress shoes" Then its a "dress shirt" Feel me. And on some real shit, just because a shirt is button up doesnt make it a dress shirt Where the fuck did that come from??? Ive got Timberland, LRG, and Nautica Button ups, but all of em arent dress shirts. They all have buttons, but I wouldnt wear all of them on say... a job interview. Im not tryin to be disrespectful, but some of yall obsess over the dumbest shit.

 

[Shadow]

A dress shirt is only a dress shirt when I make it one. Anything with jeans is not a dress shirt, its casual. Now if I put on some slacks, and some "dress shoes" Then its a "dress shirt" Feel me. And on some real shit, just because a shirt is button up doesnt make it a dress shirt Where the fuck did that come from??? Ive got Timberland, LRG, and Nautica Button ups, but all of em arent dress shirts. They all have buttons, but I wouldnt wear all of them on say... a job interview. Im not tryin to be disrespectful, but some of yall obsess over the dumbest shit.

Again, we are on the same sheet of music.

 

[femmenoire]

A dress shirt is only a dress shirt when I make it one. Anything with jeans is not a dress shirt, its casual. Now if I put on some slacks, and some "dress shoes" Then its a "dress shirt" Feel me. And on some real shit, just because a shirt is button up doesnt make it a dress shirt Where the fuck did that come from??? Ive got Timberland, LRG, and Nautica Button ups, but all of em arent dress shirts. They all have buttons, but I wouldnt wear all of them on say... a job interview. Im not tryin to be disrespectful, but some of yall obsess over the dumbest shit.

Well no one said all button downs are dress shirts. But some women like well dressed men, myself included. I don't mind jeans on a first date if the man is stylish but to me very few are.

One of my most memorable dates is with a lean brother who never rocked that hip-hop gear. He wore white linen blend shirt open with a wife beater, some paper denim & cloth jeans that were loose but not baggy and flip flops. He looked so simple and so sexy. I wanted to fuck him before heading out. But we went to this movie theatre that has dinner tables and serves food and drinks. We just held hands and cuddled all throughout the movie drinking wine.

He must have knew how sexy and how turned on he made me because when we ended back at my place we just kissed and we didn't have sex. I think I masterbated like 3x after that.

It's very hard to find a black man who doesn't wear a ton of rocawear, enyce, ecko and some sort of timb boot or sneaker.

 

[bigirl]

It's very hard to find a black man who doesn't wear a ton of rocawear, enyce, ecko and some sort of timb boot or sneaker.

maybe in atlanta it is

 

[Mt. Yukon]

Well no one said all button downs are dress shirts. But some women like well dressed men, myself included. I don't mind jeans on a first date if the man is stylish but to me very few are.

One of my most memorable dates is with a lean brother who never rocked that hip-hop gear. He wore white linen blend shirt open with a wife beater, some paper denim & cloth jeans that were loose but not baggy and flip flops. He looked so simple and so sexy. I wanted to fuck him before heading out. But we went to this movie theatre that has dinner tables and serves food and drinks. We just held hands and cuddled all throughout the movie drinking wine.

He must have knew how sexy and how turned on he made me because when we ended back at my place we just kissed and we didn't have sex. I think I masterbated like 3x after that.

It's very hard to find a black man who doesn't wear a ton of rocawear, enyce, ecko and some sort of timb boot or sneaker.

Not really Femme, The only time I wear sneakers is with shorts, yeah I rock timbs in the summer or 10 below, I also sport Maddens, I dont own one piece of Rocawear, or Ecko, Or Enyce. The only urban designer I wear is LRG, and most peps arent up on that yet. Whats you got against Timbs??? They do make other styles other than the standard workmen.

 

[Mt. Yukon]

Again, we are on the same sheet of music.

Y'know, On one hand I understand that its hard to find someone on your level, but on the otherhand its like they nitpick over shit thats has little to no significant impact on what kind of person the dude is.

 

[Izayoi]

I'm not dressing up to take you to a movie if that's what we decide to do for our first date. A date is not always a formal occasion.

I have to agree. The best dates- especially first dates for me need some casual breathing room. I''m not wearing an evening gown to go see Ong Bak and eat cookies . I'm a casual cute dresser myself so maybe that's why I never really thought about what a man should wear. I love jeans and a T-shirt on a very nicely built man- mmmm- and a home date even less clothing is optional Maybe I'm a perv, but I like to see a man's body- a little bicep or something!

Everyone is different though. If you are a dress to the teeth type lady those things may matter???

Edit: Good point Yukon. It's about getting to know in the end. Everything I like to do on a date says a lot about me and I would expect a mans ideas of a date to reflect his interests, tastes, and style.

 

[bigirl]

Y'know, On one hand I understand that its hard to find someone on your level, but on the otherhand its like they nitpick over shit thats has little to no significant impact on what kind of person the dude is.

Personally I don't particularly give a fuck what a dude wears. Whats more important is that he can overstand wtf I'm talking about and add something back to the discussion.

The same shit you guys say I can say it back on you. How many guys have nothing of importance to speak on and want to make bullshit discussion on current movies and whatever is in the mainstream media. i can't fucking deal with that at all. Can't deal with anyone lacking depth and substance.

 

[Mt. Yukon]

Personally I don't particularly give a fuck what a dude wears. Whats more important is that he can overstand wtf I'm talking about and add something back to the discussion.

The same shit you guys say I can say it back on you. How many guys have nothing of importance to speak on and want to make bullshit discussion on current movies and whatever is in the mainstream media. i can't fucking deal with that at all. Can't deal with anyone lacking depth and substance.

Thats good and all, but do you bring up anything of substance during a date??? Were tryin to feel you out just like you are us, so I myself dont wanna get too political right away, some women cant keep up, or dont know. Most of the time women only bring up fashion, or movies, or "guy problems." So The next time you have a date just put some shit out there. Maybe I should too.

 

[bigirl]

Most of the time women only bring up fashion, or movies, or "guy problems."

I do not ever discuss such things EVER.
More times than not I start discussing things and not just politics(as US politics have little to do with me anyway) but spiritual and scientific things or whatever have you and am greeted by a blank stare. Those dudes are definitely not keepers.