Food for thought: Did/do you feed guests dinner in your household?

[DJCandle]

Found this topic interesting. Was never a question in our house growing up. We were feeding you whether you liked it or not, no questions asked. Still do to this day. Just no way you’re gonna sit there without being offered a plate of something. Most of my black and non white friends were the same way.

However, I did notice that in many Americans households, this wasn’t a thing. They would make you wait in a different room while they ate dinner or dismiss you entirely and send you home when it was time to eat. The cultural differences were stark.

What was your experience with this?

 

[SamSneed]

Bitchass dad kept us broke

lookin back I think we didn’t like havin people over

I know my mom didn’t but she wanted to host

 

[HellBoy]

If you were at our house at dinner time, you ate with us.

 

[Da Backshot Champ]

Motherfuckers know when they come to my crib, we are hospitable as fuck. Actually too hospitable where niggas start to think they can take advantage of coming to NYC and air bnb our crib while we are still in it. You know I shut that weak shit down all the time.

Back to the topic, the shit seems almost unthinkable to have guest wait in the other room while we eat after they smelled the shit that my wife was just cooking.

 

[p5ych3]

Was customary to offer a guest refreshments if they stopped over or a meal if they stayed quite a bit of time.

I haven't spent any length of time in a non Caribbean home to know if things are done differently.

 

[BGLR1212000]

I have never been in somebody mama house and they didn't offer me something to eat.

 

[RoomService]

 

[thismybgolname]

Yes, you don't eat without offering people food.

On the flip side it is almost rude not to eat if food is offered.

 

[playahaitian]

Zara Larsson Weighs In on Viral Debate About Swedes Not Feeding Guests

Swedish pop star Zara Larsson has weighed in on a debate about strange traditions in different people's houses.

www.newsweek.com

 

[DJCandle]

On the flip side it is almost rude not to eat if food is offered.

My boys Kenyan mother would get DEEP in her feelings if you ever refused anything she offered.

 

[playahaitian]

My boys Kenyan mother would get DEEP in her feelings if you ever refused anything she offered.

I wonder how this pandemic will permanently alter the way we do things like this?

 

[ZuluSam]

We always had extra anyway. But say they have 4 in the family and mom only cooks four pork chops….. lol

 

[DJCandle]

I wonder how this pandemic will permanently alter the way we do things like this?

GREAT question..

From what I’ve personally seen lately? Not much. I think folks are really itching to get back to what they know and what they love, that they’re willing to risk it. I’m personally of the “mask wearing in social settings” variety so I stay cautious, but I’m still offering and getting plates, whether the get together is at home or elsewhere. I hope proceeding with caution will be the norm.

But you know there’s always that line too where if the person whose cooking or serving has ANY questions about their hygiene or functionality… then we not short of pumping the brakes either.

 

[DJCandle]

We always had extra anyway. But say they have 4 in the family and mom only cooks four pork chops….. lol

One of those pork chops is getting cut up or someone in the family is eating something else IF that guest is interested in the chop.

 

[playahaitian]

GREAT question..

From what I’ve personally seen lately? Not much. I think folks are really itching to get back to what they know and what they love, that they’re willing to risk it. I’m personally of the “mask wearing in social settings” variety so I stay cautious, but I’m still offering and getting plates, whether the get together is at home or elsewhere. I hope proceeding with caution will be the norm.

But you know there’s always that line too where if the person whose cooking or serving has ANY questions about their hygiene or functionality… then we not short of pumping the brakes either.

^^^^

I think that's the best way and really only way to handle it going forward

We gotta LIVE. We gotta create a new normal.

But we still gotta be mindful

I don't really have people over my crib like that at all. I eat outdoors (park, lake etc) a LOT MORE.

I'm still not really into big groups, parties etc.

But I go to restaurants again but they MY SPOTS that I know how they get down

And I've always been mindful of how I'm served pre pandemic so it's just on extra now.

I don't mask watch others

But I do get super pissed when people ask me WHY I'm STILL wearing a mask..

if I ain't clocking you? Especially when i have a very good reason...

Don't clock me.

 

[playahaitian]

One of those pork chops is getting cut up or someone in the family is eating something else IF that guest is interested in the chop.

^^^^^

Yup

Or real talk feed the guest and don't eat.

 

[T_Holmes]

Back in the day, if you were at the house, you were being offered some food. It was that simple. That's just how the family was.

Now that I'm a grown ass man, I don't have an issue with it one way or the other. If someone offers, that's cool. If not, I know where to find food or how to go home and eat my own.

Personally, if I don't have enough to share in some way, I probably just won't eat until you leave. Mainly because I rarely cook extra like I used to, and a lot of meals I prep are specifically for the number of people I expect.

 

[DJCandle]

^^^^^

Yup

Or real talk feed the guest and don't eat.

This the one right here. We would rather see the guests enjoy before ourselves. This was actually commonplace for us growing up.

 

[4 Dimensional]

We either eat before guests come or offer if they are there. We not going to let a guest of the crib not at least have an option to eat or not.

 

[gene cisco]

Found this topic interesting. Was never a question in our house growing up. We were feeding you whether you liked it or not, no questions asked. Still do to this day. Just no way you’re gonna sit there without being offered a plate of something. Most of my black and non white friends were the same way.

However, I did notice that in many Americans households, this wasn’t a thing. They would make you wait in a different room while they ate dinner or dismiss you entirely and send you home when it was time to eat. The cultural differences were stark.

What was your experience with this?

Where I grew up, it was weird as fuck. Suburbs. 80s and 90s. Black and white no one really wanted to come up off shit. Sent folks home when it was dinner or lunch time. Looking back, it was all blue collar, male-dominated households though, so it makes sense.

You right about the different room. Sometimes, if the table was in the same room, they would just leave you on the video game stick while eating dinner.

It was actually somewhat formal to have dinner. Kids would ask parents if friends could eat over. It was damn near sleep over type asking.

 

[daTiger]

Fuck what no culture having cacs do.

Never been in a black household that does not offer refreshments or a meal.

Besides, white dinner is not delicious.

 

[playahaitian]

This is crazy cultural because an Italian or Irish or Jewish mother would NEVER EVER let you leave their house and not be served SOMETHING.

 

[DJCandle]

This is crazy cultural because an Italian or Irish or Jewish mother would NEVER EVER let you leave their house and not be served SOMETHING.

I’ve never been to an Irish household and I don’t doubt it but Jewish and Italian .. no chance AT ALL.

You will leave STUFFED.

 

[ballscout1]

Yes....

 

[neptunes007]

This is crazy cultural because an Italian or Irish or Jewish mother would NEVER EVER let you leave their house and not be served SOMETHING.

Thats true same goes for Liberian, Jamaican, Dominican, Mexican, Brazilian, and Colombians houses too. Shoot you will be lucky if you actually leave that night. Woke up the next day on the couch with a blanket. tucked in like a baby.

 

[playahaitian]

Thats true same goes for Dominican, Mexican, Brazilian, and Colombians houses too. Shoot you will be lucky if you actually leave that night. Woke up the next day on the couch with a blanket. tucked in like a baby.

Not one lie told

 

[mrcmd187]

If you were at our house at dinner time, you ate with us.

I’ve never been to an Irish household and I don’t doubt it but Jewish and Italian .. no chance AT ALL.

You will leave STUFFED.

WE went to Ireland on one of my deployments we had a family take us in cause the liberty boat had stopped running cause of weather man they treated us like we were long lost family members still talk to them every so often on FB.

 

[West Endian]

This was the standard growing up. My parents were the King and Queen of hospitality.

 

[DJCandle]

Where I grew up, it was weird as fuck. Suburbs. 80s and 90s. Black and white no one really wanted to come up off shit. Sent folks home when it was dinner or lunch time. Looking back, it was all blue collar, male-dominated households though, so it makes sense.

You right about the different room. Sometimes, if the table was in the same room, they would just leave you on the video game stick while eating dinner.

It was actually somewhat formal to have dinner. Kids would ask parents if friends could eat over. It was damn near sleep over type asking.

Fam that shit will forever be weird to me. I simply can’t imagine having a guest over, be it my kids friends or an adult, or whoever, and not offering them something, especially when it’s time to eat. Then snickering behind them, leaving them in rooms to play Nintendo and eating in private while they’re just there. It shows a disconnect in unity off the break.

Massive red flag for me.

That just don’t sit right in my spirit and I don’t know if that’s a cultural thing or a human thing for me but it used to bug me tf out experiencing that shit.

 

[neptunes007]

Not one lie told

As long as you cool and respectful you become family quick. Couple of times I was told when I am ready to be married and have kids they had a cousin or sister who was available. Long story short, No more Airbnb or P4P when I travel now.

 

[phanatic]

I have never been in somebody mama house and they didn't offer me something to eat.

Offer? That practically force you to eat. They don't want to hear any of that "no thank, I just ate" shit from you.

 

[phanatic]

I’ve never been to an Irish household and I don’t doubt it but Jewish and Italian .. no chance AT ALL.

You will leave STUFFED.

My buddy's Italian "Aunt D" was so aggressive and she took it personal if she offered you food and you didn't want to eat. He was at his aunt's house and I had to drop off the golf club he let me borrow. The plan was just to hand it to him and leave, but she pushes him out of the way and tells me to stop standing outside like I'm not invited. I was supposed to drop off a golf club and I was there for four hours. It was honestly a good time, and she makes an awesome tiramisu.

 

[gene cisco]

Fam that shit will forever be weird to me. I simply can’t imagine having a guest over, be it my kids friends or an adult, or whoever, and not offering them something, especially when it’s time to eat. Then snickering behind them, leaving them in rooms to play Nintendo and eating in private while they’re just there. It shows a disconnect in unity off the break.

Massive red flag for me.

That just don’t sit right in my spirit and I don’t know if that’s a cultural thing or a human thing for me but it used to bug me tf out experiencing that shit.

It is interesting. I never thought about it until your post. Definitely think it's cultural with a class component as well.

 

[phanatic]

Thats true same goes for Liberian, Jamaican, Dominican, Mexican, Brazilian, and Colombians houses too. Shoot you will be lucky if you actually leave that night. Woke up the next day on the couch with a blanket. tucked in like a baby.

I was doing the VOIP for a Dominican car shop that was connected to the house they owned, and dude comes up to me and says, "my wife is almost done making lunch." Really not knowing what to say, I just tell him "buen provecho" and keep working. He tells me I have to eat, and nods to the window...his wife is standing there, staring at us like Jason Vorhees at the front of the cabin. She really put some work into that food. A great beef stew and some really good rice and beans.

 

[DJCandle]

My buddy's Italian "Aunt D" was so aggressive and she took it personal if she offered you food and you didn't want to eat. He was at his aunt's house and I had to drop off the golf club he let me borrow. The plan was just to hand it to him and leave, but she pushes him out of the way and tells me to stop standing outside like I'm not invited. I was supposed to drop off a golf club and I was there for four hours. It was honestly a good time, and she makes an awesome tiramisu.

And that’s love. This is what community and togetherness is all about. This is what you wanna be around 24-7. Food is how we learn about other people and their cultures and to deny that to someone in the name of “rugged individualism”.. man gtfoh. Drop the charade and vibe with people.

Here’s my thing also: I get white AMERICANS food is many times bland, unseasoned, unappetizing and head scratching. This we can all agree on I think.

But when it comes to ITALIAN whites … that’s different class. For me, that’s top tier, top shelf, elite cuisine unrivaled and unmatched and me and my African ass father would argue about this all the time.

Shit I may go over to voluntarily cut the grass of an old Italian Nonna just to get a taste of whatever leftovers she got cause you know it’s gon hit!