Are Single BLK Mothers DESTROYING their sons?
- Thread starter thismybgolname
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The way I see it, it's the aggressive marketing/consumerism that is the fault, the single mothers, just have a harder time fighting against it, especially when most of them suffer form consumerism themselves.
You're entitled, but marketing/consumerism of what? That women can teach a man how to be a man or prepare them on how to deal with this cruel world from a man's perspective? Back in the day, black women at a point would send their boys to live with their fathers because regardless of whether they were with the man, they knew that boys needed their fathers. Women today believe, they have all the answers Sway.. and black families are suffering because of it. I'm not pulling out my soapbox tonight though.
The guys suck too.
BUT, it is the women who should be more careful because they are always stuck with the result.
For example: should John, who makes $100,000/yr co-sign on a Bentley for Tina, who makes $25,000 as a fry cook at McDonald's?
If Tina sticks him with that payment is that on her or him? It doesn't mean she's off the hook, but since since he is going to bear the brunt of the "effect" he should be more careful who he co-signs for.
90+% of the time women get custody, so right or wrong, women should be much more careful of whom they decide to co-sign on a Bentley with
And for the idiots who do it AGAIN? WTF is wrong with them fools? And those who do it three and four and five times what the fuck?
Who is more to blame, Brittany Renner or PJ Washington? PJ Washington because he stands to lose the most. In a regular person situation, the woman who stands to lose the most because as a single mom it ALL falls on you.
So after you get stuck with paying for one Bentley, you do that same dumb shit again? Then you a goddamn fool
If PJ Washington gets stuck again by another Brittany Renner-type he's as dumb as those multiple time baby mothers
They are being sold a lifestyle that is both unlikely to achieve and one that is founded on lies.
For example, the same woman making 30k insisting that only a man making 200k can make her happy is more likely to raise kids that think risking their lives and killing others for the chance of being rich is a logical sound decision. This type of thinking (or rather the lack of proper logic) is at the core of what's causing the crime and senseless killings in the black community.
Most guys have been reduced to playing the role of sperm doners, due to them being sold the lie that impregnating women somehow proves love and the more hot women who loves you sort of makes you better. Yeah it sounds dumb as fuck, but you'd be surprised how many of us fall, and has gotten their lives destroyed chasing that bullshit logic!
That's assuming their being influenced by marketing/consumerism exclusively. There are many factors that play into the equation, and that may be one, but I can assure you that there are many others.
The example that stands out to me based on my experience is due to the woman being raised by a single mother who engrained in her that she doesn't need a man or need to appreciate the value of having a man in her or her male child's life. That had nothing to do with her being influenced by the media or marketing. The "you don't need no man" ideal was to blame there.
I am an in house father for my three sons. I will leave the rest of my comments about this subject in my head.
Speaking of single black mothers, did anybody see the Taco Bell commercial with the interracial prom date? Surprised nobody noticed the white girl had both of her parents there and the black woman was a single mom at the photos and at the restaurant. Was that intentional?
Speaking of single black mothers, did anybody see the Taco Bell commercial with the interracial prom date? Surprised nobody noticed the white girl had both of her parents there and the black woman was a single mom at the photos and at the restaurant. Was that intentional?
Don't think single moms are destroying son's...many are very successful at producing strong men however..important black man life/survival skillz are best learned from strong dads/grandpas/uncles. But, before we even got on the boat...the system's goal has always been to destroy Black families..to create separation/division.
Again, the root of our problems stems from the notion of believing your love and happiness is rooted in how you look, what you spend, and how much you got.
Think about it, back in the day we could throw a house party for dirt cheap, wear regular clothes (that was in the budget) dance, party, cop a female, and basically create memories that last a lifetime. Today so many of us are so superficial and shallow, not to mention really believe that the only way to happiness is by having more than what we can afford. It's to the point that we consider those who lose their life and freedom over material goods normal. Trying to get something for nothing and taking shortcuts through life, is the same recipe pimps used to dangle in front of women to get them to be hoes, the same game is being played on all of us today.
No one is arguing against this point, whats being said is that the problems associated with single parent household (as shown in every statistic) seems to be getting worse and and is becoming problematic.Don't think single moms are destroying son's...many are very successful at producing strong men however..important black man life/survival skillz are best learned from strong dads/grandpas/uncles. But, before we even got on the boat...the system's goal has always been to destroy Black families..to create separation/division.
That's an American issue not just a black one. This is more about trifling ass parents and their inability to raise productive children.
I never said it was only a black issue, the problem is that we come in the game with less and have a less traditional culture to isolate us from the bullshit. But even when people from other countries come here, they complain about their children becoming "Americanized" but their identifying the problem gives them a decided advantage over most blacks, born and raised here have and is compounded even more with a single parent.
a quote from a fox news comment section:
Tr4head
6 minutes ago
African American females are, with few exceptions, the most dangerous animals on earth. They alone are the direct cause of bringing into the world fatherless AA males that represent 6% of the population and 50% of murders and violent crime.
Biden to nominate Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to Supreme Court
President Biden is nominating Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court, making good on a campaign promise to pick the first Black woman for the nation's highest court.www.foxnews.com
someone tell me how is the sentiment in this comment different from any number of threads about black women posted on this board??
Nigga, why tf you post that shit here?! Why you even on fox News, even more than that, reading the fucking comments.
Any attempt to question the validity of the OP is lost when you view this topic or this particular discussion through the lens of people that believe those statistics to be true.
You real fucking suspect! Matta fact, you the fucking enemy and we ain't gon get ahead until we get rid of niggas like you!
Why are the men getting them pregnant? And the new generation is a product of the previous, proving the baby boomers and generation x dropped the ball
nigga calm the fuck down...
This isn't the first time this topic has been raised and EVERY TIME it is its on some bashing black women trip. Which is the whole point by the way. The sentiment that those assholes on fox news or storm front or MANY of the black vlogs and podcasts ALWAYS puts the onus and BLAME on black women as the CAUSE for the issues in child rearing and detrimental development of black males solely.
MEANWHILE the VAST MAJORITY of motherfuckers on THIS BOARD HAVE BEEN RAISED BY BLACK WOMEN! With either absentee or part time fathers yet in the 15 years I've been on this board there hasn't been one thread holding black men responsible for their role or lack thereof in the supposed downslide of the black family or how its negatively affected black young men.
Since these threads ALWAYS devolve into a bitchfest about black women there may as well be a nekkid uncloaked comment that illustrates how many dudes on this board REALLY feel about black women. I agree its ugly and abhorrent but the SENTIMENT IS THE SAME...how cacs talk about black women isn't that far different from how dudes on HERE talk about black women...dudes here just don't use the same adjectives but they FEEL the same way.
You can be upset with me all you want... you NEED to look around this board and see how and why this place has very little respect for black women. Ask any of them on SOL...ask any woman who post on the mainboard...
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It always takes two to tangle; to say that the women should be more careful, to me, is idiotic; men shouldnt nut in women unless they are ready to take on those responsibilities, PERIOD; and we are honest, most of the time they are nutting in these broads over and over; its not just once; so again its on both, not just the women; its not one or the other, as it relates to whose faults; its both...
Because they are weak men, who were tricked into believing the more women they get pregnant makes them more of a man, keep in mind one irresponsible man can impregnate a hundred women. So as long as women keep getting rewarded with the bag for getting knocked up, and young men are placed on a pedestal and revered for doing stupid shit (like impregnating as many women as possible) look for the system that is designed to keep us down to remain intact. My question to the board is why do we defend and support this very same system that is destroying the black family?
We need to start demanding accountability from the record labels, the school's curriculums, the welfare system, and most important ourselves! We must get out of the mindset of trying to fuck ourselves in power as if us becoming the majority will all of a sudden make us doctors, lawyers, and scientists, because in reality quality will always beat quantity (at least in the high tech era), so instead of trying to push out more of us, thinking it's going to get us somewhere, we need to develop the mindset of creating better quality children. This means more attention to increasing our SAT numbers and less trying to get our kids to look fly and dress fresh.
I know this may come off as a mind fuck to some, especially if you were born within the last 25 years, but it's the only way we are going to (across the board) be competitive for what's about to happen within the next 10 years!
This
That's just one of so many causes.
Its also trauma, and I would argue that its the main reason. Trauma gone untreated leads to a litany of pathologies that effect the victim as well as those around the victim by proxy.
Hurt people hurt people.
This woman in the OP raised her son based on an "idea" she had of what a man is or should be. There is all kinda shit wrong with that alone, but let's just examine that.
Where did she get this "idea" of a man?
What shaped this "idea" of a man?
Could there have been any conflicting "ideas", behaviors, or situations that actively worked against the practicality of her "idea" of a man?
She made this "idea" of a man up from her imagination. And broke her son trying to project that "idea" on him, a son that she produced from broken logic (she won't acknowledge that tho).
Shit is disgusting, disheartening, and sick.
She manifested her self-hatred onto him.
I agree, but I'll say it needs to be on several fronts.
I think we do need more numbers, and focus on educating all of our children. I know Umar gets a bad rap, but he has the right idea about opening our own schools, LeBron did it.
Politically we need to groom and/or pay for our own candidates
Spiritually divorce from any organized religion that teaches obedience of laws & ideals that don't serve us.
Financially become literate and spread that financial literacy. Start teaching advanced accounting in middle school.
Socially start coming together with like-minded people. It doesn't have to be an organization or institution, if you garden then connect with other local gardeners, you grow okra, they grow tomatoes, etc. Also, stop seeing each other as threats, this starts in the mind. We have to change the way we think about people that look like us and that we have much more in common with than not. We aint gotta agree or approve of everyone or everything people do to get along with them.
We also gotta stop the divisiveness. I'm of the Pan-African mindset. Brothers & sisters of the diaspora from abroad are our allies. We gotta stop thinking the world begins and ends inside these borders. It's ok to invest in other countries, buy land, build a house, start a business in other countries.
Cooperative economics... I struggle with this one myself. Part of it is trust issues, the other part is ownership & control (which I guess stems from trust issues).
Say that! Talk dat shit!
So many don't know how to choose a partner, so the cycle continues. Male or female.
I've had women admit to me recently that they didn't/don't know how to choose men
Hell yeah they do.
This isn't even the worst way that they do it.
The worst way they destroy men is by selfishly teaching them to worship female approval, and to deal with their emotions like bitches.
Those two things have these dudes collecting shoes, jewelry, and being materialistic, just like bitches, while being fragile as hell.
Young dudes go out into the streets with that shit and confuse violence and pussy conquests with manhood, chasing the approval of bitches.
This isn't even the worst way that they do it.
The worst way they destroy men is by selfishly teaching them to worship female approval, and to deal with their emotions like bitches.
Those two things have these dudes collecting shoes, jewelry, and being materialistic, just like bitches, while being fragile as hell.
Young dudes go out into the streets with that shit and confuse violence and pussy conquests with manhood, chasing the approval of bitches.
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It's both.
And for the record, I don't see these discussions as black women bashing. I don't think there's anything wrong with identifying an issue and working towards a course of action to correct it.
Accountability is key in identifying issues.
The truth is that some black women do raise broken boys.
I was raised by a single black mom and she did a good job Wearing both hats as father and mother at the same time……now can every black woman do this???? No!!!! but some that can. Note: my father did pop up once in a while but he really didn’t do shit…. We have a better relationship now as He and I got older.
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My mother also did a great job, and it wound up costing her, her life after my bullshit fake pro-black father convinced her to have three kids (added another after he raped her) then bounced, leaving her to fend for herself.
But my antidotal experience does not outweigh what statistical evidence suggests, so instead of making this an argument of what all black women should or shouldn't be doing, I think our time would be better served looking at ways how we can overall improve the quality of our black families and children because by every expert account, things are about to get hard, and the stronger and productive the family unit is, the better chance they have against what we are about ready to face.
The true definition of what the term toxic masculinity represents. Male biochemistry, female psychology.
And the fastest way to achieve those goals are to inculcate the population of target women is by fake flattering them with an overblown sense of entitlement. Can you say "Black girl magic?"Don't think single moms are destroying son's...many are very successful at producing strong men however..important black man life/survival skillz are best learned from strong dads/grandpas/uncles. But, before we even got on the boat...the system's goal has always been to destroy Black families..to create separation/division.
But that goes to what I stated earlier. Every time a man and a woman get together with no intention of being together just to fuck and a baby is created and they never have a relationship they are failing to show their sons and daughters what a relationship looks like
These boys and girls grow up with no idea of their role in the family Dynamic when they become adults. Women don't know what a man looks like and men don't know how to act in their role and women don't know how to act in theirs
Only issue I have with this statement is the 20 somethings had issues back in the day, but there were no social media platforms to display the day to day disfunction of everyday life on.
2 pages and no mention about what black men's role in this is....
Already mentioned it, specifically the fault of men in your generation.
I've always had an issue with BGM. Why can't it be attributed to the genius/ability of black people in general. Why must we extricate all black men?
And no, that "black boy joy" bullshit doesn't fucking count. Sounds like homo porn.