5 Things That Will Happen Before Jemele Hill Apologizes to Donald Trump
Stephen A. Crockett Jr.
Today 11:42am
Filed to:JEMELE HILL
Jemele Hill and Michael Smith in Los Angeles on June 24, 2017 (Paras Griffin/Getty Images for BET)
I do not know Jemele Hill personally, but I wish I did. In truth, I like to say that Hill is a throwback to a 1960s revolutionary (which she is), but Hill is in line with black women today. (Truthfully, black men, black women have been killing us on the “Stand up for yourselves” front. They don’t take anything lying down. If the NFL were made up of black women, the damn league would be at a standstill until everything got ironed out.)
So when Hill took to Twitter to spill all that truth about President Shitty von AssFace being a white supremacist, black America was stamping it with #Facts. But everything is politicized now. You can’t call a white supremacist a white supremacist even when he supports and empowers white supremacy and supports himself with white supremacists.
Hill’s network, ESPN, has apologized. White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, aka Suckabee, called for her job. And now President Lucas von TurtleDick has gone on Twitter asking that ESPN apologize, even though it already did. And Hill issued a mea culpa pointing out that her views were personal and that she didn’t mean to bring heat to her network. But that didn’t stop President Soaked von ShittyDiaper from demanding more apologies and using an exclamation point because that’s what dictators do!
Well, here is a list of five things that will happen before Jemele Hill ever apologizes to that tiki-torch-complexioned flaming bag of Cheetos extract:
1. Frankie Beverly will officially join Maze, and the group will no longer feature him but will, in fact, just be called Maze.
2. LeBron James’ hairline will grow back to its seventh-grade length, when it was just above his eyebrows.
3. My credit score will be above 750. I currently have the credit score of a homeless hologram.
4. Dennis Rodman will broker a peace deal between North Korea and the U.S. (Wait, that actually might happen.)
5. Fifty-three percent of white women will apologize for turning their backs on the rest of America and voting Donald Trump into office.
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Busy Philipps Loses It After Being Mistaken for Sarah Huckabee Sanders: "ARE YOU F--KING KIDDING ME?"
By:
CORINNE HELLER
Fri., Sep. 15, 2017 8:51 AM PDT
Busy Philipps is
not Deputy White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. The actress very much wants to be excluded from that narrative.
On Thursday, Jon Cooper, Chairman of The Democratic Coalition Against [Donald] Trump, tweeted a photo of the actress looking sullen in a scene from the short-lived '90s cult series
Freaks and Geeks, joking, "Sarah Huckabee Sanders even looked habitually pissed when she was a teenager! I guess having @GovMikeHuckabee as your dad does that to you."
He later deleted the tweet and signaled he had made a mistake thinking the picture was really of a teen Sarah, adding that he never watched
Freaks and Geeks. But not before sparking Busy's wrath.
"ARE YOU F--KING KIDDING ME?" she
tweeted. "IS THIS A JOKE? THIS IS ME FROM
FREAKS AND GEEKS. FAKE NEWS."
"ALSO I LOOK NOTHING LIKE SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL -?!?????!!!!!" she
added. "
I AM NEVER GETTING OVER THIS. I AM ACTUALLY DEAD NOW...ALSO. Pick on a woman for the insane lies she tells. Not cause she looks pissed off while telling them.
I love women who look pissed off."
Instagram
Instagram
Busy also took to Instagram Stories, where she often posts short selfie videos, to voice her displeasure at the comparison.
She posted a screenshot of Jon's tweet, writing, "WHAT THE F--K."
"Guys, I don't know who that guy is, Jon Cooper, who just tweeted that picture of me, but if I look like Sarah f--king Huckabee, you've got to be f--king kidding me. I'm sorry. Very upset about this. It's not okay," she said. "You guys, I am beside myself. What in God's name...who, what is happening in this world that, what...you guys, I'm so annoyed, I don't want to be..."
She then got sidetracked, saying she recently suffered a minor head injury on a commercial shoot and recalling a 2000 news story about
Britney Spears getting hit in the head by a piece of camera equipment while filming her "Oops!...I Did It Again" video in 2000.
"Okay, but my point is, I don't want to be, like, involved in this Sarah Huckabee Sanders narrative," Busy said.
"The thought that this guy
googled Sarah Huckabee Sanders or whatever and my picture was there, and then...you guys, I'm dying. That guy deleted the tweet, which means he wasn't just trying to make a s--tty joke. He legitimately thought that I was Sarah Huckabee Sanders as a kid," she later said.
Jon later confirmed the Google blunder and apologized publicly to Busy.
"I missed watching
Freaks and Geeks(although my kids loved it!). I found that pic online & it was identified as being Sarah Sanders. My bad!" he
tweeted. "I'm indeed a HUGE fan of Busy! She was my favorite character on
Cougar Town (tho I did miss watching
Freaks and Geeks). Anyway,
I APOLOGIZE!"