Black Women Who Want to Marry and Stay Married: Consider Dating Some White Boys

[Philli]

This is actually pathetic seeing 90% of these post. It's as if we are all fighting each other over who gets more acceptance from white people. Is it the men or is it the woman. I guarantee no white ran messageboard in the world is fighting over if they are accepted for marriage to a black person. All of you guys are

Definitely missing the point... No one is chiming for acceptance... black women for some reason assume that they have their choice of open options when it comes to dating White men. Most of us rebutting that this is not the case

Again, where is the huge spikes in Black Women getting married to white men? Just because a white guy approaches you doesn't mean a engagement is soon to follow. I love black women, my mother was one, my grandfathers married two, my fiancee is a black woman. I would just like to see the numbers to support the case that black women have their choice of available white men to choose from. Most of the female posters are arguing against facts and statistics.

 

[LoneStar29]

I love black women

thats definitely debatable

 

[wildlover85]

3,278 black people (1811 black males/1466 black females based on the 181/100 ratio) got married to white people in 2010 out of a pool of 275,500 interracial marriages. Man, they are really knocking down our doors.

 

[Camille]

All this......black folks also have to realize that because we are a minority and scattered about....after a volume concentrated place like college.....your career might put you in a place where there aren t a lot of black ppl period......

Further lowering your chances of finding someone......white ppl never go through that phenomenon....cause they cango anywhere and fi d someone that looks like them.

tho it might seem trivial, There's a lot of truth in this ^^

Sent from my GT-N5110 using Tapatalk 4

Agreed. Many people meet and date because of the work they do.

I'd like to know who told both of y'all that your only option was blk men. who told you that...your parents?

I'm betting it was the lady in your mirror being faithful to an entire race... instead of being open to your available options.



Max's Samsung OG-Note 1

Actually men on here have said it. They have used the negro bedwench meme saying black women shouldn't lie down w/white men as they were once our slave owners. For some reason it's degrading for black women to lay with white men, but a comeuppance/revenge on the white man for black men to take their women, like black women were once taken. Also, while I have not personally experienced it, many black women report other black women doing the same thing.

Until then...

This kneegrow here... Trying yet again to play on a black woman's self esteem by posting white women you feel we should be jealous of. So transparent. Pathetic really.

The issue of Black women and non-Black men is a non-issue. For every pro-militant Black man (those dating non-Blacks and those who aren't) there are THOUSANDS of Black men who aren't even paying attention.

The fact is most Black men WILL TELL YOU that you (BW) are limiting your options by dating Black men exclusively. I would go as far as to say these men are most likely with Black women themselves. Simply put, BW don't owe BM anything when it comes to dating/mating.

Now....The problem (as I see it) is that the response above REALLY ISN'T the one they want to hear. They don't want to be told it's okay. They don't want Black men to THINK it's okay for them to date non-Blacks. What they WANT is for Black men to BE ANGRY. They want them to be as ANGRY about it as THEY ARE about interracial dating.

Doubts? In case you haven't noticed, when it comes to THIS topic Black women are arguing with those who are against it and those who are FOR it. Why?

Feel free to peruse any of the threads (there are probably hundred's ) relating to interracial dating. Black men do not tell black women to expand their options. They tell us there is no need for us to think about it because race x,y,z don't want us either.

As far as the bolded, that may or may not be the case for some women. I however, do not get angry or upset at the idea of black men dating out. I'm not in the relationship, I don't know his heart. I assume it's love unless/until they try to justify their mate selection by shitting on black women. It's an insult to both us and his choice. He's saying he only settled for her because he couldn't find what he wanted in his first preference. For men who do this, they need to man up and own their choices.

Definitely missing the point... No one is chiming for acceptance... black women for some reason assume that they have their choice of open options when it comes to dating White men. Most of us rebutting that this is not the case

Again, where is the huge spikes in Black Women getting married to white men? Just because a white guy approaches you doesn't mean a engagement is soon to follow. I love black women, my mother was one, my grandfathers married two, my fiancee is a black woman. I would just like to see the numbers to support the case that black women have their choice of available white men to choose from. Most of the female posters are arguing against facts and statistics.

Agreed @ the first part, no one is trying to get acceptance, but this post is just another subtle jab @black women. No one is saying every date or every interested party will lead to an engagement. That doesn't happen amongst same race couples. There are white/other races of men that will use black women for sex just like black/other men will. White men are still men. They are known to be shitty toward their own women as well. Because of social dynamics and mistrust, I think black women tend to vet white men more thoroughly than they do black or other races, though this may be changing a bit, which worries me a bit.

No one is saying either that white folx are coming out of the woodwork lusting after black women and seeking to make us queen of their castle. All we are saying, is that one should not dismiss a good man, if proven to be a good man, because he is not black.

 

[Louis Koo]

So why aren't you asian men in a rush to marry them?
You want to deal with the sas and attitude, and multiple baby daddies? See how you like it. They will not make any rice for you, sir. You will be eating fast food every night, sir until you die of a heart attack sir.

You are delusional madam. You might as well believe in the tooth fairy and the easter bunny madam.
Your group is the least likely to get married madam. It is the truth Madam.

 

[Decon Frost]

Note to black women you will never get the global validation you seek from white men, you do not produce white babies. Its not in their best interest to promote women who do not produce them.

Example: Black Supermodel IMAN (Married to a white man) Black Supermodel Naomi Campbell (dating white billionaire) going on TV begging white people to have more black models in their fashion shows while wearing imitation European hair.



I finally figured it out. Black women because of their matriarchal ways, they think that they are naturally better than black men, that's why they like to tout have much more they are in corporate america, how they are getting degrees at higher rates than black men and how they're no good black men for them to marry. But are perplex to see black men dating and marrying out at faster and greater numbers than themselves. They like that kids in HS who thinks they are the smartest and above everyone else but wonder why no one invites them to all the parties or hand out with the "cool cliques"

The main reason is men do the approaching, black man approaching a non-black woman can overcome his stereotype by simply engaging in conversation. I'm sure (know) they're white men attracted to black women but they see your stereotype and are like, "I'll pass". Unfortunately it unnatural for women to do the approaching towards men.

 

[wildlover85]

Note to black women you will never get the global validation you seek from white men, you do not produce white babies. Its not in their best interest to promote women who do not produce them.

Example: Black Supermodel IMAN (Married to a white man) Black Supermodel Naomi Campbell (dating white billionaire) going on TV begging white people to have more black models in their fashion shows while wearing imitation European hair.



I finally figured it out. Black women because of their matriarchal ways, they think that they are naturally better than black men, that's why they like to tout have much more they are in corporate america, how they are getting degrees at higher rates than black men and how they're no good black men for them to marry. But are perplex to see black men dating and marrying out at faster and greater numbers than themselves. They like that kids in HS who thinks they are the smartest and above everyone else but wonder why no one invites them to all the parties or hand out with the "cool cliques"

The main reason is men do the approaching, black man approaching a non-black woman can overcome his stereotype by simply engaging in conversation. I'm sure (know) they're white men attracted to black women but they see your stereotype and are like, "I'll pass". Unfortunately it unnatural for women to do the approaching towards men.

Example: Black Supermodel IMAN (Married to a white man) Black Supermodel Naomi Campbell (dating white billionaire) going on TV begging white people to have more black models in their fashion shows


After you have the suck the white mans dick.You now want him to play fair.Dumb chicks will never learn!

 

[Camille]

Note to black women you will never get the global validation you seek from white men, you do not produce white babies. Its not in their best interest to promote women who do not produce them.

Example: Black Supermodel IMAN (Married to a white man) Black Supermodel Naomi Campbell (dating white billionaire) going on TV begging white people to have more black models in their fashion shows while wearing imitation European hair.



I finally figured it out. Black women because of their matriarchal ways, they think that they are naturally better than black men, that's why they like to tout have much more they are in corporate america, how they are getting degrees at higher rates than black men and how they're no good black men for them to marry. But are perplex to see black men dating and marrying out at faster and greater numbers than themselves. They like that kids in HS who thinks they are the smartest and above everyone else but wonder why no one invites them to all the parties or hand out with the "cool cliques"

The main reason is men do the approaching, black man approaching a non-black woman can overcome his stereotype by simply engaging in conversation. I'm sure (know) they're white men attracted to black women but they see your stereotype and are like, "I'll pass". Unfortunately it unnatural for women to do the approaching towards men.

Uh...no. You're just pulling stuff out your ass now. No one is seeking global validation. And although the modeling diversity thing is beauty related, so primarily a womans issue, black folx, including black men are fighting for diversity in all areas. There are several threads about the lack of black casts for movies and tv shows around here. There are affirmative action laws for a reason. Other races aren't checking primarily for black folx period. The discussion in this thread relating to black women has been about not saying no to a man who may be a good match because he is not black. I don't shit on black men, I don't think I'm better than black men.I don't think anyone has even suggested that. You're reaching. Try again.

 

[wildlover85]

Definitely missing the point... No one is chiming for acceptance... black women for some reason assume that they have their choice of open options when it comes to dating White men. Most of us rebutting that this is not the case

Again, where is the huge spikes in Black Women getting married to white men? Just because a white guy approaches you doesn't mean a engagement is soon to follow. I love black women, my mother was one, my grandfathers married two, my fiancee is a black woman. I would just like to see the numbers to support the case that black women have their choice of available white men to choose from. Most of the female posters are arguing against facts and statistics.

This should be their sound track!

 

[LoneStar29]

Uh...no. You're just pulling stuff out your ass now. No one is seeking global validation. And although the modeling diversity thing is beauty related, so primarily a womans issue, black folx, including black men are fighting for diversity in all areas. There are several threads about the lack of black casts for movies and tv shows around here. There are affirmative action laws for a reason. Other races aren't checking primarily for black folx period. The discussion in this thread relating to black women has been about not saying no to a man who may be a good match because he is not black. I don't shit on black men, I don't think I'm better than black men.I don't think anyone has even suggested that. You're reaching. Try again.

Diversity is something lots of groups fight for ... but as usual they only make it sound horrible when bw do it

 

[LoneStar29]

This is actually pathetic seeing 90% of these post. It's as if we are all fighting each other over who gets more acceptance from white people. Is it the men or is it the woman. I guarantee no white ran messageboard in the world is fighting over if they are accepted for marriage to a black person. All of you guys are

All the black men in here are coons (except bills)

they have adopted the white beauty standards and are trying to convince us bw that we are undesirable because of it

We are simply defending ourselves against their hatred and racism

BW are beautiful and we are desired despite what some simple jealous coons may think

 

[Lower9Nupe]

All the black men in here are coons (except bills)

they have adopted the white beauty standards and are trying to convince us bw that we are undesirable because of it

We are simply defending ourselves against their hatred and racism

BW are beautiful and we are desired despite what some simple jealous coons may think

So now I'm a coon?

 

[LoneStar29]

So now I'm a coon?

LOL my bad, youre right ... you werent one of the ones in here shitting on bw ... my apologies

 

[wildlover85]

All the black men in here are coons (except bills)

they have adopted the white beauty standards and are trying to convince us bw that we are undesirable because of it

We are simply defending ourselves against their hatred and racism

BW are beautiful and we are desired despite what some simple jealous coons may think

You get a pass for that,because you are angry.

 

[Lower9Nupe]

LOL my bad, youre right ... you werent one of the ones in here shitting on bw ... my apologies

No problem....

 

[Decon Frost]

Uh...no. You're just pulling stuff out your ass now. No one is seeking global validation.

Maybe not you but a lot of black women who are in IR relationships are.

And although the modeling diversity thing is beauty related, so primarily a womans issue, black folx, including black men are fighting for diversity in all areas. There are several threads about the lack of black casts for movies and tv shows around here. There are affirmative action laws for a reason. Other races aren't checking primarily for black folx period. The discussion in this thread relating to black women has been about not saying no to a man who may be a good match because he is not black. I don't shit on black men, I don't think I'm better than black men.I don't think anyone has even suggested that. You're reaching. Try again.

This is where I fault black men, cause the men are suppose to be the leaders of the community. Black people need to learn to work together and have their own shit.

 

[Camille]

Diversity is something lots of groups fight for ... but as usual they only make it sound horrible when bw do it

Besides that, if having a white partner means one can no longer advocate for black interests, then the men in the link I posted the other day should have stepped down as soon as they made their selection: http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2010/01/whose-zooming-who.html

 

[Camille]

This is where I fault black men, cause the men are suppose to be the leaders of the community. Black people need to learn to work together and have their own shit.

I agree black men should be the leaders of the community, however the system is set up to disenfranchise black folx. Even people with money and with more power than the average black person, can't get their projects pushed through. Even George Lucas couldn't get the support he wanted for the Tuskegee Airman movie he did. There are a lot of indy projects showing up on youtube and stuff now tho.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I'm a black man, so just about everything that spews out of her keyboard is disrespectful... Usually I let it go with her and ignore it, but her bitterness is non-stop... Like she only logs on to bitch about black dudes...

...Second she used stereotypes against much of BGOL in her post that i responded to... I simply brought up the fact that from what she's revealed on this website and what i read she also feeds into a 'stereotype' about bw...

She's never come at u tho... As a matter of fact... None of us have. Nobody comes at you but for some reason u decided to take what she said personally even tho

We pretty much in general see you're not the usual crowd that attacks Us. Are you in the group of dudes she's talking about? Are u that piece of shit woman hating black woman despising group?

U never came off that way.

As for calling somebody bitter? Why not check the post history and see what's been said and done to her before u throw things like that out there. Just saying

 

[Decon Frost]

Besides that, if having a white partner means one can no longer advocate for black interests, then the men in the link I posted the other day should have stepped down as soon as they made their selection: http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2010/01/whose-zooming-who.html

Those are African. Totally different from African-Americans. African women don't scream how "strong" and "independent" they are and how they're gonna go get white men or exercising their options now. Surprisingly African women have a better chance marrying white men than African American women do. Those African leaders married to white women, they met them in college.

 

[sharkbait28]

5 pages and I haven't read a single post.... yet somehow I still literally know every single thing that was said in this thread.

You ol' time travellin, stuck-in-a-loop ass niccas.

 

[Camille]

Those are African. Totally different from African-Americans. African women don't scream how "strong" and "independent" they are and how they're gonna go get white men or exercising their options now. Surprisingly African women have a better chance marrying white men than African American women do. Those African leaders married to white women, they met them in college.

She names African, UK, and American black men. Also peep the comments.

 

[Decon Frost]

Camille! Remember what I said about black women going to white men for validation I found a quotes on the website you posted.


"and don't they realize that when a black woman dates and marries a white man who puts her on a pedestal, she is vindicating the memory of all those black women of earlier generations who could not get such treatment?"

It is truly unfortunate that a lot of black women don't realize that they cannot and will not move forward by holding on to their resentment of white men. Their resentment only hurts them, the white man does not feel it at all.
The only way to move forward is to let go of past hurts. Not just for interracial dating, but most importantly, for their own spiritual, emotional and mental well-being. Holding on to past hurts is not a sign of a mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy individual. Maybe, that could be another reason why such a woman might have difficulty finding a quality partner."


" I almost cried one day when an elderly bw who's a member of the local black church I attend and who's about 85 years old came up to me and told me how proud she is of me for marrying Darren because his family is considered a solid, upstanding family in this area. She said she could remember clearly how bw could once only clean the homes of white people in this part of town and couldn't even imagine owning property out here, let alone being chosen for a wife."


I invited her over one afternoon and we strolled all around some of our acreage. She was just OVERWHELMED, became misty-eyed and her voice quavered. She told me, "You did good." It was obvious to me that she feels that I have vindicated MANY of our black female ancestors. It was almost a spiritual experience.

 

[Mello Mello]

So we need to be open to other races. That doesn't mean it has to be a wm, but numbers don't allow for every blk wm to have a blk man.


-- Sent from my TouchPad using Communities

If you assume every black woman is entitled to a black man to begin with. Yes black women outnumber black men 2:1 but let's not get excited because most of the excess are women aged over 40.

I think the problem with many of these arguments this "lack of" argument the idea of scarcity. There is no lack of enough black men when you factor in how many people the average person will meet or date in a lifetime or in their youth. I don't have the figure right now but the average person doesn't even date half of a percentage of people in a lifetime and that half percentage is still more than enough.

I've said before in these discussions the reason many black men are more likely to date ww when dating IR is because white women outnumber black women. IMO this is the reason for the black men with white women stereotype. There may be several suitable black women in the area but the probability the two meet is kinda slim unless they frequent the same places.

The issue is probability, white people outnumber black people so everybody is already more likely to date white but even still the majority of blacks date and marry black.

So lets not try and justify black women's IR dating choices as a matter of not enough black men. Lets just keep it funky and say these black women prefer white men like we know they do. Stop trying to uphold this false sense of loyalty that is only propagated by black men's IR stats.




--- Sent from Hoodphone using RealniggaTalk

 

[Raeeb7]

Besides that, if having a white partner means one can no longer advocate for black interests, then the men in the link I posted the other day should have stepped down as soon as they made their selection: http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2010/01/whose-zooming-who.html

Damn I didn't know that shit smh. You don't really see no white heads of state marrying nothing black. Black women and men alike when they climb that ladder forget about each other. Sad on both ends we keep fightin they keep winnin.

 

[Camille]

Camille! Remember what I said about black women going to white men for validation I found a quotes on the website you posted.


"and don't they realize that when a black woman dates and marries a white man who puts her on a pedestal, she is vindicating the memory of all those black women of earlier generations who could not get such treatment?"

It is truly unfortunate that a lot of black women don't realize that they cannot and will not move forward by holding on to their resentment of white men. Their resentment only hurts them, the white man does not feel it at all.
The only way to move forward is to let go of past hurts. Not just for interracial dating, but most importantly, for their own spiritual, emotional and mental well-being. Holding on to past hurts is not a sign of a mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy individual. Maybe, that could be another reason why such a woman might have difficulty finding a quality partner."


" I almost cried one day when an elderly bw who's a member of the local black church I attend and who's about 85 years old came up to me and told me how proud she is of me for marrying Darren because his family is considered a solid, upstanding family in this area. She said she could remember clearly how bw could once only clean the homes of white people in this part of town and couldn't even imagine owning property out here, let alone being chosen for a wife."


I invited her over one afternoon and we strolled all around some of our acreage. She was just OVERWHELMED, became misty-eyed and her voice quavered. She told me, "You did good." It was obvious to me that she feels that I have vindicated MANY of our black female ancestors. It was almost a spiritual experience.

First of all that comment was in response to this one:

What I find so striking is that so many black women are not using their critical thinking skills when thinking about issues like these.

As others have mentioned, don't they realize that black men see dating white women as a coup, in that they are gaining access to the white man's most precious possession, his woman...

And rehashing the old "white men raped our foremothers" makes no sense today.

Black women today are not living in the same world as black women generations ago, and don't they realize that when a black woman dates and marries a white man who puts her on a pedestal, she is vindicating the memory of all those black women of earlier generations who could not get such treatment?

The black women who could only be concubines, etc.

Black women are vindicated in a similar way in which black men see themselves as being vindicated...

I've addressed this briefly before when I said that (some) black men will often condemn black women for lying down with the slave master, while they (some) see being with a white woman as revenge or a way to take white women the way white men took black women.

The second quote is no different than the pride some blacks feel with Obama being the first black president, in the WHITE house where black people were only once allowed to serve and not lead. Black "firsts" are powerful for many. This happens to be in regard to an interracial relationship, but I can understand the pride of someone seeing a black person advance to a level or position that was at one time denied us.

I'm not trying to paint all black women's motives for dating out as "pure". While I don't think the comments you quoted are indicative of black women dating out in order to seek white acceptance, there are some folx for which that is a big issue. We have serious colorism issues amongst some blacks. There are some folx who have so much self hate that they will grasp at anything that is not black. This is not a feminine sickness though. The "paper bag" tests that black folx inflicted upon ourselves was driven by men and women with either a mental sickness or at the least the desire to be accepted by whites or separate themselves from common blacks. Or as what they deemed the best way for blacks to get ahead, as often white companies would not hire darker blacks. For people who think like this, you don't have to tell them to consider another race, they are already out there actively doing so. Again, that is not what this discussion has been about. It has been about expanding options. Yes there are good black men, I see them every where, every day. There are also good men of other races who would make good husbands as well, and if you are not meeting the black man you want, then consider some of the other men who are available.

 

[Mello Mello]

Camille! Remember what I said about black women going to white men for validation I found a quotes on the website you posted.


"and don't they realize that when a black woman dates and marries a white man who puts her on a pedestal, she is vindicating the memory of all those black women of earlier generations who could not get such treatment?"

It is truly unfortunate that a lot of black women don't realize that they cannot and will not move forward by holding on to their resentment of white men. Their resentment only hurts them, the white man does not feel it at all.
The only way to move forward is to let go of past hurts. Not just for interracial dating, but most importantly, for their own spiritual, emotional and mental well-being. Holding on to past hurts is not a sign of a mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy individual. Maybe, that could be another reason why such a woman might have difficulty finding a quality partner."


" I almost cried one day when an elderly bw who's a member of the local black church I attend and who's about 85 years old came up to me and told me how proud she is of me for marrying Darren because his family is considered a solid, upstanding family in this area. She said she could remember clearly how bw could once only clean the homes of white people in this part of town and couldn't even imagine owning property out here, let alone being chosen for a wife."


I invited her over one afternoon and we strolled all around some of our acreage. She was just OVERWHELMED, became misty-eyed and her voice quavered. She told me, "You did good." It was obvious to me that she feels that I have vindicated MANY of our black female ancestors. It was almost a spiritual experience.

The resentment doesn't hurt white men because black men caught all that shade. It got turned inward as self hate an outward toward black men for not being white men. But I agree letting go of that resentment is the key to growing and being able to find a mate black or white.

And it does man no good to put a woman on a pedestal at all. that's how the white man fucked his shit up with white women.




--- Sent from Hoodphone using RealniggaTalk

 

[Decon Frost]

First of all that comment was in response to this one:

What I find so striking is that so many black women are not using their critical thinking skills when thinking about issues like these.

As others have mentioned, don't they realize that black men see dating white women as a coup, in that they are gaining access to the white man's most precious possession, his woman...

And rehashing the old "white men raped our foremothers" makes no sense today.

Black women today are not living in the same world as black women generations ago, and don't they realize that when a black woman dates and marries a white man who puts her on a pedestal, she is vindicating the memory of all those black women of earlier generations who could not get such treatment?

The black women who could only be concubines, etc.

Black women are vindicated in a similar way in which black men see themselves as being vindicated...

I've addressed this briefly before when I said that (some) black men will often condemn black women for lying down with the slave master, while they (some) see being with a white woman as revenge or a way to take white women the way white men took black women.

The second quote is no different than the pride some blacks feel with Obama being the first black president, in the WHITE house where black people were only once allowed to serve and not lead. Black "firsts" are powerful for many. This happens to be in regard to an interracial relationship, but I can understand the pride of someone seeing a black person advance to a level or position that was at one time denied us.

I'm not trying to paint all black women's motives for dating out as "pure". While I don't think the comments you quoted are indicative of black women dating out in order to seek white acceptance, there are some folx for which that is a big issue. We have serious colorism issues amongst some blacks. There are some folx who have so much self hate that they will grasp at anything that is not black. This is not a feminine sickness though. The "paper bag" tests that black folx inflicted upon ourselves was driven by men and women with either a mental sickness or at the least the desire to be accepted by whites or separate themselves from common blacks. Or as what they deemed the best way for blacks to get ahead, as often white companies would not hire darker blacks. For people who think like this, you don't have to tell them to consider another race, they are already out there actively doing so. Again, that is not what this discussion has been about. It has been about expanding options. Yes there are good black men, I see them every where, every day. There are also good men of other races who would make good husbands as well, and if you are not meeting the black man you want, then consider some of the other men who are available.

This is another fallacy black women like to portray, that black men lust after white women as a way to get back at white men. This is even worse than the black men marry white women to move up the corporate ladder.

 

[Camille]

I really don't want to be or come across as the spokeswoman for IR relationships so I'm only going to spend another day in this thread, then I'm out. Y'all start these threads every week and it's just exhausting.

The resentment doesn't hurt white men because black men caught all that shade. It got turned inward as self hate an outward toward black men for not being white men. But I agree letting go of that resentment is the key to growing and being able to find a mate black or white.

And it does man no good to put a woman on a pedestal at all. that's how the white man fucked his shit up with white women.




--- Sent from Hoodphone using RealniggaTalk

Your comment made me think of one that was made on the link I posted. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts:

Also, I believe a lot of BW who do hold grudges against WM have misdirected anger. They see WM putting WW on a pedestal and are bothered by the fact BM do not and have never done the same for BW. Instead of holding BM accountable for their actions or lack thereof, its a lot easier to take it out on WM for doing to their women what many BW wish BM would do for them. So they call themselves hating WM while steadily giving BM a pass. Who is that hurting?? NO ONE BUT BLACK WOMEN.

That is exactly what I just responded to – to magenta. That BW don’t really want to accept the reason why WM are more willing to love and protect their women collectively than BM are to do for BW. And it boils down to one thing – LOVE FOR ONESELF and HIS IMAGE. WM love being White and thus love their image. We can argue that their love for Whiteness lies in power and influence the White race has over the world. That is neither here nor there at this point, because it doesn’t matter. the point is, BM do not like themselves or love themselves. everyone knows this including their race loyal BW. This is evidenced in the amount of killings done by the day to one another and their lack of protection and support of their offspring and women. That’s why our communities are in shambles. If you don’t value yourself, you don’t value the things or people that remind you of who you are. THUS, we can conclude, if a male hates himself and his image, he will also hate those who resemble it as well. And for the male who do loves himself, his race and image, he will extend that same love to those who bare it.

BW can continue to split hairs on this and argue the pointless. but at the end of the day until we fully accept and acknowledge this, we will forever be victims of the Black male and Black community and even ourselves. When we fully accept it, we can then realize that its OKAY and probably MOST LOGICAL for BW who love themselves to extend that to other BW who also love themselves. See how that works. We don’t have the luxury of have a collective male group to do this for us, therefore, we have to do what we have to do. And that is to uplift one another and move the hell on. because if we as BW love our image and have tried unsuccessfully to extend that to a group of men who have yet to reciprocate, then MAYBE JUST MAYBE its time for us to extend it to one another. Because we cannot count on ANYONE ELSE to do it on a collective level.

 

[Decon Frost]

I really don't want to be or come across as the spokeswoman for IR relationships so I'm only going to spend another day in this thread, then I'm out. Y'all start these threads every week and it's just exhausting.



Your comment made me think of one that was made on the link I posted. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts:

Also, I believe a lot of BW who do hold grudges against WM have misdirected anger. They see WM putting WW on a pedestal and are bothered by the fact BM do not and have never done the same for BW. Instead of holding BM accountable for their actions or lack thereof, its a lot easier to take it out on WM for doing to their women what many BW wish BM would do for them. So they call themselves hating WM while steadily giving BM a pass. Who is that hurting?? NO ONE BUT BLACK WOMEN.

That is exactly what I just responded to – to magenta. That BW don’t really want to accept the reason why WM are more willing to love and protect their women collectively than BM are to do for BW. And it boils down to one thing – LOVE FOR ONESELF and HIS IMAGE. WM love being White and thus love their image. We can argue that their love for Whiteness lies in power and influence the White race has over the world. That is neither here nor there at this point, because it doesn’t matter. the point is, BM do not like themselves or love themselves. everyone knows this including their race loyal BW. This is evidenced in the amount of killings done by the day to one another and their lack of protection and support of their offspring and women. That’s why our communities are in shambles. If you don’t value yourself, you don’t value the things or people that remind you of who you are. THUS, we can conclude, if a male hates himself and his image, he will also hate those who resemble it as well. And for the male who do loves himself, his race and image, he will extend that same love to those who bare it.

BW can continue to split hairs on this and argue the pointless. but at the end of the day until we fully accept and acknowledge this, we will forever be victims of the Black male and Black community and even ourselves. When we fully accept it, we can then realize that its OKAY and probably MOST LOGICAL for BW who love themselves to extend that to other BW who also love themselves. See how that works. We don’t have the luxury of have a collective male group to do this for us, therefore, we have to do what we have to do. And that is to uplift one another and move the hell on. because if we as BW love our image and have tried unsuccessfully to extend that to a group of men who have yet to reciprocate, then MAYBE JUST MAYBE its time for us to extend it to one another. Because we cannot count on ANYONE ELSE to do it on a collective level.

I agree with the statement except wm do not love being white for white's sake, they like the benefits and advantages that come with being white. BW still don't get it, no one is going to put you on a pedestal but your own men. Unfortunately black men aren't in the financial position to be putting black women on a pedestal cause they still don't realize the advantages of working together and practicing group economics.

As far as black men don't liking and loving themselves is the reason for driving them to white women nope, it's the fact that you can have a kid with a non-black women and they are still considered black.

 

[Mrfreddygoodbud]

at the end of the day..

My sisters are not blowing thier brains out at an epidemic rate..


no matter what they go through, they love life and have a zest for it..

They are the source of life on this earth so they must be controlled psychologically by constantly being told they are inferior and worthy

of the psychological abuse..

at the end of the day, they aint blowing their brains out...

no matter how bad it gets..!!

 

[Camille]

I agree with the statement except wm do not love being white for white's sake, they like the benefits and advantages that come with being white. BW still don't get it, no one is going to put you on a pedestal but your own men. Unfortunately black men aren't in the financial position to be putting black women on a pedestal cause they still don't realize the advantages of working together and practicing group economics.

As far as black men don't liking and loving themselves is the reason for driving them to white women nope, it's the fact that you can have a kid with a non-black women and they are still considered black.

Money is not the issue. There was a time in the black community when black men did exactly this. Black pride, black power was the only way to be. Now whether they were being truthful and uplifting "black is beautiful" because they believed it or because they didn't think they had a chance with white women is debatable. But what we don't have now is the same mentality where our women are queens, our men are kings. Black women bash men, often though it is behavior based (not taking care of kids, not doing x,y,z). IT IS NEVER APPEARANCE BASED. When black men bash black women, it is sometimes behavior based but you also have them ridiculing our hair, our skin, our features. Is this because they think this is what will hurt us most, or do they actually not like black features which are natural to us?

Some will say the men/women are not worthy of respect, that they will only give respect to those to who "deserve" it. I don't agree with that. I think there needs to be a basic level of respect and civility given to everyone,regardless. When you don't have that regard for one another, when you are desensitized to or unwilling to recognize their humanity, then you are hurting everyone eventually.

 

[Camille]

at the end of the day..

My sisters are not blowing thier brains out at an epidemic rate..


no matter what they go through, they love life and have a zest for it..

They are the source of life on this earth so they must be controlled psychologically by constantly being told they are inferior and worthy

of the psychological abuse..

at the end of the day, they aint blowing their brains out...

no matter how bad it gets..!!

That would be a good discussion. Psychological impact on black men and women. It has been touched on in other threads, not sure if there has been a full blown discussion tho.

 

[NewyorkRealTalk]

This is strange...its like...the same topics with different wrappings usually. but this one is saying no one wants us?

WTF is going on.

 

[brickwall92]

Actually it doesn't. Many black women have other options, they are just not willing to take them. They have an opportunity for love and romance but since it's not in a chocolate package they often aren't willing to even consider it and will overlook it. 100% of the population will not hook up with someone, but they can still widen their playing field. Since white men make up the majority of the population, they have the largest dating pool, but white isn't the only option. Not all white/other races of men like black women, just like all black men do not like white/other races of women, but being open to the ones who DO, gives them more options.


For the last part...you don't know me as well as you think you do. There are white men I'm attracted to, but they are not my preference, and I'm not attracted to them as often as I am other men. These sites have been around for YEARS, and I often link to Eva's site as hers was sort of a hub with links to other IR and marriage sites with good BWE info, info on vetting, finances, looking out for oneself, and balancing that with the roles black women have of often looking out for everyone but themselves. With black women getting the message DAILY, not just from the media and white America but often our own men, that we are not relationship let alone marriage material, images to the contrary help squash that mess. So every chance a thread comes up that is hell bent on making black women feel like shit or less than women of other races, I'm more than willing to post these sites to give a counter image. For the men that aren't checking for black women anyway, they shouldn't care, right?





am/bw is not as prevalent, but it does happen.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=asian man black woman&sm=3

https://www.facebook.com/AsianMenAndBlackWomenPersuasion

http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/video-asian-men-black-women-give-advice-date/

http://blackwomenasianmen.tumblr.com/

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/asian-man-black-woman

My point is if the logic is there's a lack of black men.. then I post there's a lack of white men...how's that increasing your options ? remember you're competing with white and Asian women

and I love the excuse so many of 'yall use that white men are intimidated or nervous . when has his history showed he's scared of anything.. he can kill millions with ease ,but is scared to talk to ya'll so he goes after Asian and white women ?

The white man.. doesn't put y'all in his fucking shows.... black men do though.. Tyler Perry. etc

All your complaints about beauty images and lack of tv roles.. etc go back to the one who controls that..,but many of y'all love him anyway

Go to a majority white male board.. and see the women they post and you'll see most are white.. or Asian..just being honest

it's funny y'all ungrateful ass females . can talk about how black men aren't attracted to black women... yet our magazines...have y'all all in them...


Maxim , Playboy...etc women are blond and skinny... majority of the times.. and that's what their mostly white base demands...I know y'all love exceptions ,but majority rules.. ask politicians

Posting a tiny amount of black and asian men does nothing... I'm sure for every group.... there's a match.. I'm sure there's a black man.. with a russian out there somewhere...

Yeah you don't want a white man like that.. ,but you love a site called "beyond blackand white" and other pro bw ir sites .. which preaches dating out ..mostly white men don't beat around the bush..