It could be Wifey..., a jumpoff, longtime girlfriend......
How long before she is outta your system?
How long before she is outta your system?
Playas----- how long does a breakup hurt/bother you?
- Thread starter hussla's paradice
- Start date
It's been over a year, and I'm still not over my BM. I'm not sure if I miss her or the family most, but there's something defiantly missing ...
If given the chance, what would you do differently?
Depends on who did what- for example if she cheated on you it's the betrayal, and the blow to your ego that she chose another nigga that takes time to work out
If you broke up with her and you meant what you said when you did it, you was already done with her anyway-
9 times out of 10 though, it's the loss of control and your body has to go through hormonal changes from the loss of a sexual partner/confidant, especially if this is a long term GF- that's really it no bullshit
Take this oppurtunity to view what you did dirty and prepare for the next relationship/stage in life, if you have to rebound make sure the broad knows what time it is to avoid extra drama-
Whatever you do DO NOT BEG FOR THAT BITCH TO COME BACK- women hate weakness in men and the price to your self esteem is not worth it- true bill
If you broke up with her and you meant what you said when you did it, you was already done with her anyway-
9 times out of 10 though, it's the loss of control and your body has to go through hormonal changes from the loss of a sexual partner/confidant, especially if this is a long term GF- that's really it no bullshit
Take this oppurtunity to view what you did dirty and prepare for the next relationship/stage in life, if you have to rebound make sure the broad knows what time it is to avoid extra drama-
Whatever you do DO NOT BEG FOR THAT BITCH TO COME BACK- women hate weakness in men and the price to your self esteem is not worth it- true bill
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Depends for me. Ive def gotten better at not dwelling on it as I've gotten older. I've also grown too not base all my happiness in life on things I can't control (one of which is women, and their sometime wicked ways). So that helps as far as quickly moving onto other interests.
Plus I lIve in NYC and try to live by what Jeru said:
"A lot of the ones that I thought was right wasn't....I build with Afu, he said "Don't sweat it cause
they come a dime a dozen"
Sent from my Galaxy II using Tapatalk 2
Plus I lIve in NYC and try to live by what Jeru said:
"A lot of the ones that I thought was right wasn't....I build with Afu, he said "Don't sweat it cause
they come a dime a dozen"
Sent from my Galaxy II using Tapatalk 2
Out of all my relationships, I only gave a shit about the break up twice. The first one was my high school/college sweetheart and it took me about 2 years to get past it. I was fuckin everything movin, but was pretty numb the whole time. I think it took so long because I was still seeing her often. Word of advice to the youngins, when it's over, move on. The second was this chick I was about to marry. I was love sick for a few months, but eventually got over it. "Out of sight, out of mind"...usually works for me.
This is always an interesting subject for me.
I've had three relationships in my life - I'm 32 - but the last ended December of '03.
I thought I 'loved' the first two, but that LAST one?
Frankly, until I met her, I didn't know it was humanly possible to feel that strongly about someone. The good thing was, she was crazy about me too.
That relationship only lasted ten months, but what took place within that ten months has profoundly impacted my preference in women and my ability to commit.
My ex was a black/white biracial. Looked very much like what you see in damn near every commercial nowadays. Well, I didn't realize it at first, but my mind has become TOTALLY fixated on THAT type of woman. I mean, TOTALLY.
Many would say it's that way because I still want to be with my ex. Well, I had a chance to get back with her in '05, but was uninterested. She was actually hurt because she just KNEW, with how strongly we felt about each other, I'd be interested again.
Not to mention, I have become the biggest commitmentphobe I know. I don't trust my judgement, anymore. I ACTUALLY allowed myself - one of the greatest cynics of all times
- to believe we'd be together forever. I just thought it wasn't possible we'd breakup. I didn't think it was possible for me to believe something like that so strongly, because I can't accept anything 100% without irrefutable evidence.
The pain from that breakup only lasted about two months. Issue is, while the pain only lasted two months, the trauma of that breakup is as fresh as ever.
I am seriously fucked up.
I think, on some level, I'm seeking the perfect version of my ex. As pathetic as it may sound, the version of my ex that will stay 'forever'.
However, in my EVEN MORE skeptical mind, what that woman would have to show me to get me to believe that .... I don't even know if it's possible for a human to do that, lol.
Boy, I tell some of the weirdest personal stories on BGOL.
I've had three relationships in my life - I'm 32 - but the last ended December of '03.
I thought I 'loved' the first two, but that LAST one?
Frankly, until I met her, I didn't know it was humanly possible to feel that strongly about someone. The good thing was, she was crazy about me too.
That relationship only lasted ten months, but what took place within that ten months has profoundly impacted my preference in women and my ability to commit.
My ex was a black/white biracial. Looked very much like what you see in damn near every commercial nowadays. Well, I didn't realize it at first, but my mind has become TOTALLY fixated on THAT type of woman. I mean, TOTALLY.
Many would say it's that way because I still want to be with my ex. Well, I had a chance to get back with her in '05, but was uninterested. She was actually hurt because she just KNEW, with how strongly we felt about each other, I'd be interested again.
Not to mention, I have become the biggest commitmentphobe I know. I don't trust my judgement, anymore. I ACTUALLY allowed myself - one of the greatest cynics of all times
- to believe we'd be together forever. I just thought it wasn't possible we'd breakup. I didn't think it was possible for me to believe something like that so strongly, because I can't accept anything 100% without irrefutable evidence. The pain from that breakup only lasted about two months. Issue is, while the pain only lasted two months, the trauma of that breakup is as fresh as ever.
I am seriously fucked up.
I think, on some level, I'm seeking the perfect version of my ex. As pathetic as it may sound, the version of my ex that will stay 'forever'.
However, in my EVEN MORE skeptical mind, what that woman would have to show me to get me to believe that .... I don't even know if it's possible for a human to do that, lol.
Boy, I tell some of the weirdest personal stories on BGOL.
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Not disagreeing with you bruh, just adding some depth to the answer.....it's about what you DO in that time. Depending on what the situation is, you gotta figure out shit and make adjustments in your life accordingly. If you break up or lose a person in your life, you can't just sit in a room and dwell on the loss; depression, despair, self pity sets in and you ruin your chances of learning, growing, and recovering from the experience.
This is always an interesting subject for me.
I've had three relationships in my life - I'm 32 - but the last ended December of '03.
I thought I 'loved' the first two, but that LAST one?
Frankly, until I met her, I didn't know it was humanly possible to feel that strongly about someone. The good thing was, she was crazy about me too.
That relationship only lasted ten months, but what took place within that ten months has profoundly impacted my preference in women and my ability to commit.
My ex was a black/white biracial. Looked very much like what you see in damn near every commercial nowadays. Well, I didn't realize it at first, but my mind has become TOTALLY fixated on THAT type of woman. I mean, TOTALLY.
Many would say it's that way because I still want to be with my ex. Well, I had a chance to get back with her in '05, but was uninterested. She was actually hurt because she just KNEW, with how strongly we felt about each other, I'd be interested again.
Not to mention, I have become the biggest commitmentphobe I know. I don't trust my judgement, anymore. I ACTUALLY allowed myself - one of the greatest cynics of all times
The pain from that breakup only lasted about two months. Issue is, while the pain only lasted two months, the trauma of that breakup is as fresh as ever.
I am seriously fucked up.
I think, on some level, I'm seeking the perfect version of my ex. As pathetic as it may sound, the version of my ex that will stay 'forever'.
However, in my EVEN MORE skeptical mind, what that woman would have to show me to get me to believe that .... I don't even know if it's possible for a human to do that, lol.
Boy, I tell some of the weirdest personal stories on BGOL.
The trauma is still fresh as ever.
I concur all day long bro. That's real.
CUB2006
Banned
Think about my actions long term effect. Consider what/how other feel about my poor decision making. Leave all social sites alone. I can't be on twitter/Instagram and not fuck hoes. Go out and do thinks for my BM. Not just buy her shit after she catch me fucking around. Not fuck her friends, family members. Last, I'd really give her the love respect and honor she deserves..
most people try to view relationships as what they see on the tv, movies or what they read in a fairy tale book.
True.
Brothas got chinks in their armor.
Sistas got stains on the white dress. Yet, they want that fairy tale bullshit.
Get a prettier chick that have all the qualities that your ex were lacking and see how fast the pain will disappear.
1- Take her off that pedestal
First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift to men. She wasn’t perfect. If we’re being honest, she probably wasn’t even close. Make a list of her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her. Do whatever you have to do -- just take her off that pedestal.
2- Get closure
Step two for getting over your ex: get closure. If you’re going to break up with her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup, not a “break.” The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.
3- Don't contact her
This may be the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex. After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. By staying in touch with old flames,you’re asking for months (if not years) of on-again-off-again uncertainty. So, throw out her phone number, stop texting her and unfriend her on Facebook. Imagine how freaked out you'll be the first time you see some strange dude in her profile picture, and you'll see why a clean break is essential.
4- Work out
Without a girlfriend gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. And don’t forget: The gym is a great place to meet women(plenty of reasons why working out makes our list of 11 tips for getting over your ex).
5- Avoid her friends and the places she hangs
If you want to avoid the temptations that come with bumping into an ex, you might have to make some sacrifices. You might have to cut ties with some of your mutual friends. You might have to avoid some of your favorite haunts (because they’re her favorite haunts, too). Trust us, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.
6- Throw away anything that reminds you of her
That dopey-looking teddy bear she gave you for your birthday, the sappy love letters she wrote, the adorable pictures of the two of you -- chuck ’em. Throw it all away. The sooner you get all that junk out of your house the sooner you’ll get over her.
And before you ask, yes, it’s fine to keep items that don't evoke any emotional connections. If she bought you a copy of Call of Duty 2, keep it. But clothes, jewelry, keepsakes, and the like should be ditched.
7- Don't try to get your stuff back
By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at her place. Consider it gone. The $50 you’re going to have to spend to replace a few DVDs is a small price to pay to avoid an ex-girlfriend who could be either desperately needy or irrationally angry.
8- Hang out with your friends
One of the things you had to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was time with your friends. Girlfriends are notorious time-bandits, always greedy for more and more of your attention. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with the buds you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic because hanging out with your friends is one of the most rewarding of our 11 tips for getting over your ex.
9- Exercise your newfound freedom
Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’ve ditched the ball and chain. You’re free. So stay out until four in the morning, hop on a plane to Vegas with your brother, or just sit on your ass and watch basketball all day. Taking pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do as a boyfriend is a great way to get over your ex.
10- Remember the bad times
It’s pretty common for guys to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk she had, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be.
Snap out of it. One of the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect her bad habits and shady behavior. It’s like taking a cold shower.
11- Sleep with another girl
The most foolproof method for getting over your ex is to sleep with another girl. It’s the fastest and most efficient way to get an ex-girlfriend out of your system. One of the reasons we equivocate about leaving an ex behind is because -- no matter how confident we are -- we worry we won’t find someone new. That’s what sends us crawling back to our familiar, comfy, dysfunctional exes time and time again. Finding a new love interest, even for one night, is the best method of countering all those self-defeating thoughts.
Bonus: Make sure your next girlfriend is an upgrade
One last thing you want to be certain of is that your love life is moving in the right direction. If your rebound girlfriend is a train wreck, you could end up moving backward and reconnecting with your ex, only to waste another year or two of your life on a relationship that’s doomed to fail. So be sure that your next girlfriend is an upgrade.
First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift to men. She wasn’t perfect. If we’re being honest, she probably wasn’t even close. Make a list of her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her. Do whatever you have to do -- just take her off that pedestal.
2- Get closure
Step two for getting over your ex: get closure. If you’re going to break up with her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup, not a “break.” The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.
3- Don't contact her
This may be the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex. After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. By staying in touch with old flames,you’re asking for months (if not years) of on-again-off-again uncertainty. So, throw out her phone number, stop texting her and unfriend her on Facebook. Imagine how freaked out you'll be the first time you see some strange dude in her profile picture, and you'll see why a clean break is essential.
4- Work out
Without a girlfriend gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. And don’t forget: The gym is a great place to meet women(plenty of reasons why working out makes our list of 11 tips for getting over your ex).
5- Avoid her friends and the places she hangs
If you want to avoid the temptations that come with bumping into an ex, you might have to make some sacrifices. You might have to cut ties with some of your mutual friends. You might have to avoid some of your favorite haunts (because they’re her favorite haunts, too). Trust us, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.
6- Throw away anything that reminds you of her
That dopey-looking teddy bear she gave you for your birthday, the sappy love letters she wrote, the adorable pictures of the two of you -- chuck ’em. Throw it all away. The sooner you get all that junk out of your house the sooner you’ll get over her.
And before you ask, yes, it’s fine to keep items that don't evoke any emotional connections. If she bought you a copy of Call of Duty 2, keep it. But clothes, jewelry, keepsakes, and the like should be ditched.
7- Don't try to get your stuff back
By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at her place. Consider it gone. The $50 you’re going to have to spend to replace a few DVDs is a small price to pay to avoid an ex-girlfriend who could be either desperately needy or irrationally angry.
8- Hang out with your friends
One of the things you had to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was time with your friends. Girlfriends are notorious time-bandits, always greedy for more and more of your attention. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with the buds you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic because hanging out with your friends is one of the most rewarding of our 11 tips for getting over your ex.
9- Exercise your newfound freedom
Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’ve ditched the ball and chain. You’re free. So stay out until four in the morning, hop on a plane to Vegas with your brother, or just sit on your ass and watch basketball all day. Taking pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do as a boyfriend is a great way to get over your ex.
10- Remember the bad times
It’s pretty common for guys to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk she had, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be.
Snap out of it. One of the most important of our 11 tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect her bad habits and shady behavior. It’s like taking a cold shower.
11- Sleep with another girl
The most foolproof method for getting over your ex is to sleep with another girl. It’s the fastest and most efficient way to get an ex-girlfriend out of your system. One of the reasons we equivocate about leaving an ex behind is because -- no matter how confident we are -- we worry we won’t find someone new. That’s what sends us crawling back to our familiar, comfy, dysfunctional exes time and time again. Finding a new love interest, even for one night, is the best method of countering all those self-defeating thoughts.
Bonus: Make sure your next girlfriend is an upgrade
One last thing you want to be certain of is that your love life is moving in the right direction. If your rebound girlfriend is a train wreck, you could end up moving backward and reconnecting with your ex, only to waste another year or two of your life on a relationship that’s doomed to fail. So be sure that your next girlfriend is an upgrade.
This is sound advice...Good outlook to have is: Don't think about who you lost, look FORWARD to getting with some one BETTER.
Sent from my Galaxy II using Tapatalk 2
Like any injury, the time it takes to heal will depend on how bad you were hurt. If I cut my self shaving,, or a jump off moves on, a few hours at most. But a gunshot to the chest aka break up from a long relationship aka got kicked to the curb, that shit may heal/you may gst over it, but you will never be the same as before.
Sent using Tapatalk 2
Sent using Tapatalk 2
Time heals, but here's the TRUE test to see if you're REALLY over her: If you can see her out with another guy, and you're not with anyone, and it doesn't bother you, you're over her. I've flunked that test a time or two. Shit, we had a homie tear the club up over that shit.
Excellent way of looking at things. Divorce can be the worst...I am still reeling...three years in (together fir almost 14 years) but you have to make sure that you dont let the rest of your life suffer. Focus on making yourself better!
Mannnn, please say that again...
When ya get some good NEW PUZZY, it sall good!
Time heals, but here's the TRUE test to see if you're REALLY over her: If you can see her out with another guy, and you're not with anyone, and it doesn't bother you, you're over her. I've flunked that test a time or two. Shit, we had a homie tear the club up over that shit.
Good Shit.
Depends. I've been over a woman in.. Two weeks before. Months for others.
Gs3
Gs3
This shit is simple. Start fuckin all the hoe'z you passed on while you was with her azz, believe me you'll soon forget her azz! 
bump
If you cant move foward, the pain never goes away.
As hard as it seems right after , if you push on with life & relationships. You will enable yourself to appreciate "the good times" you had with that person. And kind of disable the part that ended the relationship.
There are a couple of women in my past that can always call me for anything. No strings. Its because I respect them as people beyond our intimate relationship.
Love is respect. Lust is a nut
As hard as it seems right after , if you push on with life & relationships. You will enable yourself to appreciate "the good times" you had with that person. And kind of disable the part that ended the relationship.
There are a couple of women in my past that can always call me for anything. No strings. Its because I respect them as people beyond our intimate relationship.
Love is respect. Lust is a nut
New pussy is the instant cure!
/Thread
/Thread
Yea I've been hurt too, it's natural even for da biggest playa. That keep yourself busy shit don't work AT ALL. 
I still think about that one... ESPECIALLY since she was soooo bad and dat head n' pussy was to die for. The broad cooked and cleaned too.
If you real about it... like me, you can admit that the anger blazes back up at da very thought of another nigga getting what you had.
The first week is HELL after a break up. The second - fourth weeks you lash out/drink/smoke and try to convince yourself that she ain't shit. After that it's a loooong process of crying like a bitch every so often, knots in da stomach, looking at photos, and fighting yourself to not contact her. This continues until you get to da point of accepting she's gone... at that point (sometimes a year later and countless pussy later) you just think about her from time to time and be like "damn :-(" and keep it moving.
Oh, but if she contacts you again and you fall for da okie doke then she leave again ... then YOU'RE back to square one of your bitch-like process.
True story.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3!
I still think about that one... ESPECIALLY since she was soooo bad and dat head n' pussy was to die for. The broad cooked and cleaned too.
If you real about it... like me, you can admit that the anger blazes back up at da very thought of another nigga getting what you had.
The first week is HELL after a break up. The second - fourth weeks you lash out/drink/smoke and try to convince yourself that she ain't shit. After that it's a loooong process of crying like a bitch every so often, knots in da stomach, looking at photos, and fighting yourself to not contact her. This continues until you get to da point of accepting she's gone... at that point (sometimes a year later and countless pussy later) you just think about her from time to time and be like "damn :-(" and keep it moving.
Oh, but if she contacts you again and you fall for da okie doke then she leave again ... then YOU'RE back to square one of your bitch-like process.
True story.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3!
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