Plus if you don't have your ego under control, that fucker will whisper in year brain to do some real dumb shit.
Playas----- how long does a breakup hurt/bother you?
- Thread starter hussla's paradice
- Start date
Plus if you don't have your ego under control, that fucker will whisper in year brain to do some real dumb shit.
Man the fucking questions and topics on this board.
Anyway, only until I skeet down the throat of some young hot pussy then in my quiet moments I think man I miss that bitch. Like my BM for instance. She MILf fine, still sexy and all but she is whorish too. I mean, I fucked her many times over the years and that poor dude still don't know it.
Granted, she didn't swallow but I was deep in that pussy. Man women are some guile, stealthy type mofos. I never really trust em so when I break up with one I miss I chalk it up to the game. Fuck it, it's life and life is pain. Don't get me wrong, I miss em but I got to let it ride man hell I'd eventually get tired of their ass anyway. I'm fucked up like that though. Don't judge me.
Anyway, only until I skeet down the throat of some young hot pussy then in my quiet moments I think man I miss that bitch. Like my BM for instance. She MILf fine, still sexy and all but she is whorish too. I mean, I fucked her many times over the years and that poor dude still don't know it. Granted, she didn't swallow but I was deep in that pussy. Man women are some guile, stealthy type mofos. I never really trust em so when I break up with one I miss I chalk it up to the game. Fuck it, it's life and life is pain. Don't get me wrong, I miss em but I got to let it ride man hell I'd eventually get tired of their ass anyway. I'm fucked up like that though. Don't judge me.
Not being able to get over a relationship represents a deeper issue, and that issue is the addiction we sometimes have to certain emotions.
But there are actually two separate issues here wrapped into one. The first is our addiction to a particular emotion. The second is how we have associated that emotion to a particular individual in our minds through our own conditioning.
Its kind of like Pavlov's Dog, where each time before he fed his dog he would ring a bell. After a while, all he had to do was ring the bell and the dog would salivate...conditioned to expect a meal upon hearing the bell.
Take that conditioning example to relationships. We are "conditioned" to feel a certain emotion in a relationship, and so when that relationship ends, we feel an absence of this feeling that we've become accustomed to. An emptiness inside, that will, in many cases, cause a person to do whatever to gain it back, even if what the person chooses to do is BAD for him/her in the process.
There is a solution, but it requires a person to look deeply inside of themselves.
First you must realize that YOU control your OWN emotions...that being...YOU decide HOW you feel at any given time. This takes realizing that your emotional responses have been programmed by YOU. How you respond to stimulus is something that you have taught your OWN brain to do. And you can change that with practice. Emotions are actually a DECISION...not a response.
Secondly, you must be honest with how what your feelings are. Sad, disappointed, hurt, devastated, whatever adjective you use to describe it.
Third, you place that undesirable emotion in the PAST TENSE in a statement. For example, "I was feeling hurt about this, but now I feel good because..." At first this will feel weird, but keep repeating this to yourself, in your mind and out loud. You are now DECONTITIONING yourself from that former undesirable emotional state. Give yourself positive reasons to feel good about your situation WITHOUT your ex. If you can't find anything...you haven't done step ONE.
Remember, there is no GOOD or BAD...only choices and emotions. You choose what YOU do, and you CHOOSE how you respond to what happens in your life.
This isn't emotional detachment...but rather emotional reassignment. You focus on POSITIVE emotions that SERVE you, not NEGATIVE ones that destroy you mentally and physically. You don't get "rid" of an emotion...you reassign it to something else. You REPLACE it with things that make you feel GOOD about yourself.
Then you can make rational decisions that BENEFIT you as a person, instead of making STUPID choices that are driven by negative emotions, or ADDICTION to what you see as a positive emotion.
My .02.
But there are actually two separate issues here wrapped into one. The first is our addiction to a particular emotion. The second is how we have associated that emotion to a particular individual in our minds through our own conditioning.
Its kind of like Pavlov's Dog, where each time before he fed his dog he would ring a bell. After a while, all he had to do was ring the bell and the dog would salivate...conditioned to expect a meal upon hearing the bell.
Take that conditioning example to relationships. We are "conditioned" to feel a certain emotion in a relationship, and so when that relationship ends, we feel an absence of this feeling that we've become accustomed to. An emptiness inside, that will, in many cases, cause a person to do whatever to gain it back, even if what the person chooses to do is BAD for him/her in the process.
There is a solution, but it requires a person to look deeply inside of themselves.
First you must realize that YOU control your OWN emotions...that being...YOU decide HOW you feel at any given time. This takes realizing that your emotional responses have been programmed by YOU. How you respond to stimulus is something that you have taught your OWN brain to do. And you can change that with practice. Emotions are actually a DECISION...not a response.
Secondly, you must be honest with how what your feelings are. Sad, disappointed, hurt, devastated, whatever adjective you use to describe it.
Third, you place that undesirable emotion in the PAST TENSE in a statement. For example, "I was feeling hurt about this, but now I feel good because..." At first this will feel weird, but keep repeating this to yourself, in your mind and out loud. You are now DECONTITIONING yourself from that former undesirable emotional state. Give yourself positive reasons to feel good about your situation WITHOUT your ex. If you can't find anything...you haven't done step ONE.
Remember, there is no GOOD or BAD...only choices and emotions. You choose what YOU do, and you CHOOSE how you respond to what happens in your life.
This isn't emotional detachment...but rather emotional reassignment. You focus on POSITIVE emotions that SERVE you, not NEGATIVE ones that destroy you mentally and physically. You don't get "rid" of an emotion...you reassign it to something else. You REPLACE it with things that make you feel GOOD about yourself.
Then you can make rational decisions that BENEFIT you as a person, instead of making STUPID choices that are driven by negative emotions, or ADDICTION to what you see as a positive emotion.
My .02.
Sometimes you never fully get over that... I've been married 10 years, love the hell out of my wife, but I had a 12 year relationship before her and frankly, ole girl was perfect for me in damn near every way. I was immature, crept a lot, got caught a few times, and she got tired of it and bounced for good.
I don't think about her much, but when I hear a certain song from back in the day, or see a movie we saw, or even go back to my hometown to visit and go to familiar places where I have memories of my time with her, I still get fucked up a little bit...
So, it basically depends on what the chick really meant to you... I'd never go back, but when someone gets in your head and your heart like that... It can scar for a minute especially when you were the one that fucked the relationship up...
I don't think about her much, but when I hear a certain song from back in the day, or see a movie we saw, or even go back to my hometown to visit and go to familiar places where I have memories of my time with her, I still get fucked up a little bit...
So, it basically depends on what the chick really meant to you... I'd never go back, but when someone gets in your head and your heart like that... It can scar for a minute especially when you were the one that fucked the relationship up...
Yeah, it depends on your (emotional) investment in the situation and how things ended.
It depends on the circumstances. I would imagine being dumped would be the hardest to get over because you probably didn't see it coming. I've never been dumped before so my situation is different. When I break up with a girl I've usually gotten her way out of my system long before I drop the hammer on her. So for me, its usually about 24 hours tops. The last few months we're together I already know shes living on borrowed time and I'm just trying to find a good opportunity to break it to her.
It's been over a year, and I'm still not over my BM. I'm not sure if I miss her or the family most, but there's something defiantly missing ...
Shit, it has been 8 months and I am still hurting. The way it went down and everything, but we have known each other since October 17th 1993. That is damned near 20 years. Aside from a prior break from June 2000-February 2005 we have been together the whole time. Losing my best friend and my wife at the same time.
Funny that this thread was brought up.
3 years ago, right when my husband passed an employee of ours was put in jail over some messed up court documents. Totally and completely not his fault. COMPLETELY not. But... that's Dallas court system for you. He was in jail for 60 days on some total bullshit and while he was in there he had a mild stroke. He and his girl were together for 10 years. Had 4 kids. He was the only 1 working. While in jail, for some nonsense for 2 months, she only came to visit him twice. He really had the stroke because of the outright panic of not knowing what was happening with his family the whole time he was in there. Not knowing about the rent. Not knowing about the kids. Just terrified. He wrote this chick every day the whole time he was in there. Not 1 single letter returned. When they finally let him out. He calls her and she's like well the kids are with my parents, and i'm living with (Bestfriend). And she says she wants to move on. He's like what in the whole entire fuck. I almost died in there not knowing what happened to you and the kids and i get out and you just like, I'm going to move on?
Well he's incapable of working, and they begin to see each other a little bit. He finds out she's seeing other guys. They break up, he doesn't speak to her for a year. One day she pops up over where he's staying he completely doesn't expect it, and it has been a year since he's seen her. They have sex, and he thinks it's time for some kind of happiness again. He begins to hope again. She tells him all kinds of things, how they can begin speaking and so on and so forth. A week later, she's not answering his calls and turns out she's with yet ANOTHER NIGGA. So that just wrecks him. Poor fella. Wifey feels so bad for what this chick has done she has somebody do stuff to her car and makes the gal lose her job. He asks the wife to stop she stops. He's just sitting, and coasting day to day with no real meaning in life,(depressed). A year LATER... She pops up AGAIN and asks him to go out to dinner with her, and all that. And she wanted to clear her feelings and get things off her chest. They have sex AGAIN. And this time 2 weeks later.... she stops answering his calls again. He vows to never speak to her again.
So now yesterday she pops up over his place with the kids and it crushes him emotionally. Family meant a lot to this man and how his former inlaws treated him because of the ex. Really hurt him very badly. So seeing the kids and then her. It just really worked him. I called this woman and i asked her, don't you understand what condition he's in? Don't you understand that you could KILL him? He's got a weak heart. He's got other things wrong with his body. He's had 2 strokes. Why the fuck are you trying to kill this man?
This chick was completey clueless because she fully doesn't realize that it's not about HER. She's like i feel bad. I know i did him wrong. I just wanted to make up for it and ask him if we can be back together, him me and all the kids.
I said. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch WHAT!?
Have you completely and totally lost every single little piece of mind you do have functioning? He can't trust you. ever. He'll never love you. He'll resent you forever. You left him when he needed you MOST. And then came back yearly to fuck with him and see if you could still manipulate him. And then move on. Like he was nothing, you're a goddamned sociopath. And i said some other things and threats to her.
Men can love. And when they do, they love deeply, especially after so much time. The thing is the time aspect? Works fine. But you need to find something else vitally MEANINGFUL in that time.
3 years ago, right when my husband passed an employee of ours was put in jail over some messed up court documents. Totally and completely not his fault. COMPLETELY not. But... that's Dallas court system for you. He was in jail for 60 days on some total bullshit and while he was in there he had a mild stroke. He and his girl were together for 10 years. Had 4 kids. He was the only 1 working. While in jail, for some nonsense for 2 months, she only came to visit him twice. He really had the stroke because of the outright panic of not knowing what was happening with his family the whole time he was in there. Not knowing about the rent. Not knowing about the kids. Just terrified. He wrote this chick every day the whole time he was in there. Not 1 single letter returned. When they finally let him out. He calls her and she's like well the kids are with my parents, and i'm living with (Bestfriend). And she says she wants to move on. He's like what in the whole entire fuck. I almost died in there not knowing what happened to you and the kids and i get out and you just like, I'm going to move on?
Well he's incapable of working, and they begin to see each other a little bit. He finds out she's seeing other guys. They break up, he doesn't speak to her for a year. One day she pops up over where he's staying he completely doesn't expect it, and it has been a year since he's seen her. They have sex, and he thinks it's time for some kind of happiness again. He begins to hope again. She tells him all kinds of things, how they can begin speaking and so on and so forth. A week later, she's not answering his calls and turns out she's with yet ANOTHER NIGGA. So that just wrecks him. Poor fella. Wifey feels so bad for what this chick has done she has somebody do stuff to her car and makes the gal lose her job. He asks the wife to stop she stops. He's just sitting, and coasting day to day with no real meaning in life,(depressed). A year LATER... She pops up AGAIN and asks him to go out to dinner with her, and all that. And she wanted to clear her feelings and get things off her chest. They have sex AGAIN. And this time 2 weeks later.... she stops answering his calls again. He vows to never speak to her again.
So now yesterday she pops up over his place with the kids and it crushes him emotionally. Family meant a lot to this man and how his former inlaws treated him because of the ex. Really hurt him very badly. So seeing the kids and then her. It just really worked him. I called this woman and i asked her, don't you understand what condition he's in? Don't you understand that you could KILL him? He's got a weak heart. He's got other things wrong with his body. He's had 2 strokes. Why the fuck are you trying to kill this man?
This chick was completey clueless because she fully doesn't realize that it's not about HER. She's like i feel bad. I know i did him wrong. I just wanted to make up for it and ask him if we can be back together, him me and all the kids.
I said. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch WHAT!?
Have you completely and totally lost every single little piece of mind you do have functioning? He can't trust you. ever. He'll never love you. He'll resent you forever. You left him when he needed you MOST. And then came back yearly to fuck with him and see if you could still manipulate him. And then move on. Like he was nothing, you're a goddamned sociopath. And i said some other things and threats to her.
Men can love. And when they do, they love deeply, especially after so much time. The thing is the time aspect? Works fine. But you need to find something else vitally MEANINGFUL in that time.
Funny that this thread was brought up.
3 years ago, right when my husband passed an employee of ours was put in jail over some messed up court documents. Totally and completely not his fault. COMPLETELY not. But... that's Dallas court system for you. He was in jail for 60 days on some total bullshit and while he was in there he had a mild stroke. He and his girl were together for 10 years. Had 4 kids. He was the only 1 working. While in jail, for some nonsense for 2 months, she only came to visit him twice. He really had the stroke because of the outright panic of not knowing what was happening with his family the whole time he was in there. Not knowing about the rent. Not knowing about the kids. Just terrified. He wrote this chick every day the whole time he was in there. Not 1 single letter returned. When they finally let him out. He calls her and she's like well the kids are with my parents, and i'm living with (Bestfriend). And she says she wants to move on. He's like what in the whole entire fuck. I almost died in there not knowing what happened to you and the kids and i get out and you just like, I'm going to move on?
Well he's incapable of working, and they begin to see each other a little bit. He finds out she's seeing other guys. They break up, he doesn't speak to her for a year. One day she pops up over where he's staying he completely doesn't expect it, and it has been a year since he's seen her. They have sex, and he thinks it's time for some kind of happiness again. He begins to hope again. She tells him all kinds of things, how they can begin speaking and so on and so forth. A week later, she's not answering his calls and turns out she's with yet ANOTHER NIGGA. So that just wrecks him. Poor fella. Wifey feels so bad for what this chick has done she has somebody do stuff to her car and makes the gal lose her job. He asks the wife to stop she stops. He's just sitting, and coasting day to day with no real meaning in life,(depressed). A year LATER... She pops up AGAIN and asks him to go out to dinner with her, and all that. And she wanted to clear her feelings and get things off her chest. They have sex AGAIN. And this time 2 weeks later.... she stops answering his calls again. He vows to never speak to her again.
So now yesterday she pops up over his place with the kids and it crushes him emotionally. Family meant a lot to this man and how his former inlaws treated him because of the ex. Really hurt him very badly. So seeing the kids and then her. It just really worked him. I called this woman and i asked her, don't you understand what condition he's in? Don't you understand that you could KILL him? He's got a weak heart. He's got other things wrong with his body. He's had 2 strokes. Why the fuck are you trying to kill this man?
This chick was completey clueless because she fully doesn't realize that it's not about HER. She's like i feel bad. I know i did him wrong. I just wanted to make up for it and ask him if we can be back together, him me and all the kids.
I said. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch WHAT!?
Have you completely and totally lost every single little piece of mind you do have functioning? He can't trust you. ever. He'll never love you. He'll resent you forever. You left him when he needed you MOST. And then came back yearly to fuck with him and see if you could still manipulate him. And then move on. Like he was nothing, you're a goddamned sociopath. And i said some other things and threats to her.
Men can love. And when they do, they love deeply, especially after so much time. The thing is the time aspect? Works fine. But you need to find something else vitally MEANINGFUL in that time.
Yeah, she has been playing a game for a long time. She doesn't give a fuck about him. This is a situation that could end up with someone dying. It's THAT deep emotionally.
I'm da same way. Keep it movin' forward w/o taking so much as a glance in da rearview mirror. That person will be COMPLETELY dead to me & won't hear from me under any capacity (death of a family member, holidays, birthday, nothin'). And honestly, it's probably kind of a way of gettin' da last laugh b/c it almost NEVER fails that when I tell these brawds how I am in regards to that, I hear da same shit, "you shouldn't be like that", "you don't have to be so harsh", "that isn't fair", etc. Da reasoning to which such comments are made is b/c most can't handle dealing w/complete silence (or to be completely ignored), to be left alone w/nothing but their thoughts in complete & utter nothingness to dwell. It's unbearable for most females. An exploitation of certain truths concerning da human psyche so to speak.
Because it's the safety and peace of mind to know that they can't do it again, because you won't allow them to do it again. Some people do change. Most do not.
It's not that you don't see it coming, it's da lack of control that you have over da situation. Having things not done on your terms. I also look it at like this as I told my current partner (of my first relationship), if we break up, as soon as it's established da decision is finalized. No, I'm not gonna give it a few weeks to see if that's what we really want before I start fuckin' w/others.
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Soft ass niggaz ....Go get ur wet Wipes!!
Oh, but if she contacts you again and you fall for da okie doke then she leave again ... then YOU'RE back to square one of your bitch-like process. 
True story.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3![/QUOTE]
NAW FUCK THAT THIS SHIT IS FOR IDIOTS mAN IF YOU KNOW IT'S GONE BE OVER YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR SHIT READY. YOU BETTER HAVE ALL YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW AND YOU BETTER GET OVER THAT SHIT. TRUST ME DOG THESE HOES ARE NOTi REPEAT NOTGOING TO HAVE PITTY ON YOUR ASS WHILE THEY ARE GOING THROUGH THEIR HEALING PROCESS THESE HOES IS GOING TO DO THE SLUTTIEST SHIT THEY NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD DO BUT BETWEEN THEM AND THEY FRIENDS YOUR ASS IS OVER WITH!!! SO FUCK ALL THAT CRYING AND PUSSY ASS SHIT YOU BETTER BE FOCUS ON GETTING MONEY BEING FLY AS FUCK AT ALL TIMES SO IF THAT BITCH SEE YOU SHE CAN PUKE. NIGGA YOU BETTER BE WORKING OUT AND MOST OF ALL!!! YOU BETTER BE FUCKING SOME HOES OF YOUR FANTASIES!!! THEN WHEN YOU PICK OUT THE NEXT WOMAN YOU GONE BE WITH MAN YOU BETTER DO A QUADRUPLE UPGRADE!!! ONLY THEN MY FRIEND WILL THIS SHIT TAKE LITTLE TIME
True story.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3![/QUOTE]
NAW FUCK THAT THIS SHIT IS FOR IDIOTS mAN IF YOU KNOW IT'S GONE BE OVER YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR SHIT READY. YOU BETTER HAVE ALL YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW AND YOU BETTER GET OVER THAT SHIT. TRUST ME DOG THESE HOES ARE NOTi REPEAT NOTGOING TO HAVE PITTY ON YOUR ASS WHILE THEY ARE GOING THROUGH THEIR HEALING PROCESS THESE HOES IS GOING TO DO THE SLUTTIEST SHIT THEY NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD DO BUT BETWEEN THEM AND THEY FRIENDS YOUR ASS IS OVER WITH!!! SO FUCK ALL THAT CRYING AND PUSSY ASS SHIT YOU BETTER BE FOCUS ON GETTING MONEY BEING FLY AS FUCK AT ALL TIMES SO IF THAT BITCH SEE YOU SHE CAN PUKE. NIGGA YOU BETTER BE WORKING OUT AND MOST OF ALL!!! YOU BETTER BE FUCKING SOME HOES OF YOUR FANTASIES!!! THEN WHEN YOU PICK OUT THE NEXT WOMAN YOU GONE BE WITH MAN YOU BETTER DO A QUADRUPLE UPGRADE!!! ONLY THEN MY FRIEND WILL THIS SHIT TAKE LITTLE TIME
Soooooooooooo what color do you recommend a non-virgin wear on her wedding?
i have a friend...
had a guy she was dating....serious relationship...he bought the ring...then asked family for her hand in marriage...they have a fight...and homies "moved on" with a becky
she says he told her, "i know its a mistake but i have to live it with"...she hasnt told him but she would totally take him back if he just tried
i dont get it that shit
men go after everything else they want in life...why is the (right) woman...no different?
CUB2006
Banned
Why cant she say something to let duke know under the right circumstances, they can be back together. Its always a game when it comes to women no matter the age. "We'll since he fucked up, hes gonna have to be the one to bring up another relationship" U have any idea how much easier it would be for a guy to know his ex is even willing to give him a shot?
CUB2006
Banned
B/c there's so many other women that can be had. It's really just that simple.
I think it has more to do with not wanting to go thru the same problems... I think your reply was very valid, but its NO SIMPLE answer to the way us men think. That Steve Harvey book dug a deeper hole for our women..
That's a really good point. I think that's what I was trying to say. Breaking up on your own terms is a lot easier than having to adhere to someone elses agenda.
Holy shit bitches are dirty.
It's funny how they're so quick to want to be seen everywhere with you and begging to be on your social pages hugged up... then act a donkey so you have to get rid of them. Leaving all this shit to clean up.
Never understood that.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3!
It's funny how they're so quick to want to be seen everywhere with you and begging to be on your social pages hugged up... then act a donkey so you have to get rid of them. Leaving all this shit to clean up.
Never understood that.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3!
LoneStar29
Banned
He did go after the right woman for him, the one he is with now
Probably even had her waiting in the cut and thats why it was so easy to let go of your girl and move on with the new one
LoneStar29
Banned
The break up wasnt a mistake to him ... he is just saying that to soften the blow and spare your girls feelings
Men are not as complicated as we make them out to be sometimes ... IF he was REALLY feelin your girl, he would have fought for her ... THAT is a guarantee ... you not keepin a nigga from a woman he really wants, trust, when these guys want something they go after it
He has moved on quick cuz thats what he wanted to do ... he wasnt feelin your girl as deeply as ya'll thought
You know why. Speaking emotionally? Men are stupid.
It's been over a year, and I'm still not over my BM. I'm not sure if I miss her or the family most, but there's something defiantly missing ...
Yeah I feel ya...its been over two years since me and a friend/fuckbuddy stopped dealing with each other and I still miss her, her family was cool as a mfer and her bro in law was a good friend with me and my crew ..it was a good deal and the pussycat was wet juicy and always wanting the dick..but sex couldn't keep her plus I had a woman whom I'm about to marry now. Unfortunately it doesn't keep me from missing her...but life most go on..
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Not long.
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