Your Best Yo Momma Jokes

[Gazoo]

Figured I'm setting myself up on this one but fuggit. Caught Nephew Tommy this morning on the Steve Harvey show and he was slammin comedian George Wallace with YO MOMMA jokes. Shit was hilarious. Figured I'd repeat some.


Yo momma is so ugly they put her picture by in the laxative section of the drug store because she scares the shit out of people.

Yo momma's so ugly that when she was born they named her "Damn"!

Yo momma's so ugly that Freddy Kruger has nightmares about her!


Alright I started it.

 

[woodchuck]

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, when she puts her hands on her hips, she looks like she got Buckwheat in the headlock.

Yo mama so cross eyed, when she cries, tears run down her back.

 

[Gazoo]

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, when she puts her hands on her hips, she looks like she got Buckwheat in the headlock.

Yo mama so cross eyed, when she cries, tears run down her back.

at the second one!

 

[peterlongshort]

Yo mama so fat they posted her picture on BGOL and they made it a sticky.

 

[Gazoo]

Yo momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!

 

[easy_b]

Yo momma is so big that she uses a pillow for a pad


Yo momma teeth is so big the she uses a hair brush to brush her teeth.

 

[BIG Bambu]

Yo mama so old she got a wooden cellphone wit a woodpecker for the ringtone

 

[Osca Lee]

yo momma so fat she is on both sides of the family

yo momma so black if you sprinkle salt on her she looks like deep space

yo momma so skinny she can hang glide on a dorito

yo momma so black when she get cut she dont bleed she smokes

yo momma so nasty she gave me an ear infection from phone sex

yo momma feet so nasty when she put them in water they fiz like alka selzer

yo momma so strong she swims in the street

 

[godofwine]

Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, when she puts her hands on her hips, she looks like she got Buckwheat in the headlock.

Yo mama so cross eyed, when she cries, tears run down her back.

at the second one!

Yeah that second one got me good hahaha

 

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

yo mama so stupid so tryed to climb mountain due...
yo moms so stupid she tryed to make a doctors a apointment with Dr.peper

 

[BIG Bambu]

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W's

 

[Gazoo]

Yo momma so stupid that if they took her brain and shoved it up a gnats ass it would look like a BB in a box car.

 

[Gazoo]

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W's

OK you got me on that one!

 

[DatBoyNCali]

yo mama so black that when she got out of her car the oil light came on

yo mama so stupid that she thought a quarterback was a refund

 

[wildlover85]

Your momma is so old.She took mr clean to the prom.

 

[peterlongshort]

Yo mama so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the W's

We have a winner!

 

[woodchuck]

Your mama so old, her birth certificate expired.

 

[spider705]

We call yo mama pistol...bitch take her glasses off and her eyes cock...

Yo mama so fat when she talk to herself it's a long distance call...

Yo mama so ugly that when she sleeps her pillow cries at night...

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Xparent Skyblue Tapatalk 2

 

[NuBNPrince]

Yo mama so dumb, she walked by a YMCA and said "Damn, they spelled Macy's wrong".

Yo mama's skin so dark, her nickname is "Pitch".

Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

 

[EPDC]

Your momma so old, I told her to act her age and she died.

 

[BIG Bambu]

Yo mama so old her SS number is written in hieroglyphics on a cave wall...elk, bird, zebra, zebra, donkey

 

[Coldchi]

yo mama so dumb, she fucked a flight of stairs hoping to have stepkids.

 

[BIG Bambu]

yo mama so dumb, she fucked a flight of stairs hoping to have stepkids.

Damn

 

[Action Jack]

Yo mama got wooden legs and real feet.

 

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

yo mama so dumb, she fucked a flight of stairs hoping to have stepkids.

​

 

[Brother Blues]

Yo mama so old her SS number is written in hieroglyphics on a cave wall...elk, bird, zebra, zebra, donkey

Yo Mama so old....she farts dust.

 

[irvthaperv]

Yo momma's so fat, she irons her pants in the driveway...
Yo momma's so fat, she sat on walmart and lowered the prices...
Yo momma so fat, when she died, she BROKE the stairway to heaven!

 

[three-fifths]

fucking grow up.

no wonder the white man still call us 'boy'.

i fucking hate this current generation.

 

[EPDC]

fucking grow up.

no wonder the white man still call us 'boy'.

i fucking hate this current generation.

Stop trolling and GTFOH.

 

[Gazoo]

fucking grow up.

no wonder the white man still call us 'boy'.

i fucking hate this current generation.

This current generation? Yo momma jokes have been around for a while.

Thanks for bumping the thread.

 

[woodchuck]

fucking grow up.

no wonder the white man still call us 'boy'.

i fucking hate this current generation.

You're trying too hard.

 

[KA$H]

Your Mother is so old her tramp stamp says ""משה איז געווען דאָ", Yiddish for "Moses was here"

Your Mother is so old her tramp stamp was used to decipher the Rosetta Stone

Your Mother is so old her middle name is "Ye Olde"

Your Mother's head is so good, Dyson is suing her for patent infringement

Your Mother is so loose, she doesn't give you the clap, it's more like a standing ovation

Your Mother's pussy is so big, no joke, I just wanted you to know, I know, that your moms has a big pussy, B.

 

[Kang]

Your Mama so strong she gargle with peanut butter.

 

[Kang]

Yo mama dumb she put a ruler beside her bed to see how long she slept.

 

[irvthaperv]

Yo momma's so old, in history class they just wrote down what they were doing...