I suggest you actually read the book
Here is a review of the 2nd one:
The five stars are for the ideas in the book, as I was not crazy about the exposition (through dialogue) and the price is just ridiculous (get the e-version). That said, the ideas are fantastic...
As a warning, the book did not really hit its stride (for me) until around chapter 4-5. From here it just kept getting better...
The main thread of the book discusses how the "game" for women, in many cases, consists of getting men to commit. The rules of the game, stemming from male insecurities, can lead to dishonest tactics to win; this is because the idea of feminine virtue says a woman is virtuous if she is untouched and pure, even if she does not wish to be untouched.
Thus a system is born in which woman seek to lock a man down while simultaneously ignoring their own desires.
This system causes some women to behave in ways in which they focus on the fantasy of getting someone to commit rather than the person their partner is. From this the woman may feel taken advantage of further down the road when her husband has been ignoring her (even though she set the stage for this); both the focus on fantasy fulfillment as well, as the sacrifice that is made while accomplishing this task, can lead to huge rifts in the relationship which are further compounded for a number of cultural and biological reasons (read the book to see).
The remedies exposed are openness, communication, unconditional love, and the conscious choice of faithfulness (if that is what you want). The author exposes the advantages of not avoiding fear but confronting it as well as setting clear boundaries for what are (and what are not) acceptable ways for us to be treated. She also talks about the power of not living by any prescribed life style, but rather the power of following your heart - of picking a system and learning from it. The system we follow may lead to heart break (e.g. if we subconsciously manipulate our partner) or it may be fulfilling, but analyzing and learning about it is of fundamental importance. While the thread of the book is about fidelity, it ties beautifully into higher ideals of human happiness and openness, as well as the power of realization and choosing life styles that suit us best (e.g. faithfulness as a personal choice, not a given).
I have read the negative reviews and many say the book is an excuse for woman's infidelity. The book does not excuse woman's infidelity - in fact the author goes into great detail about the suffering this can cause in the woman and everyone else around her. Most negative reviews also claim the author presents a one dimensional argument but the truth she presents a rich narrative involving many factors and influences that lead to a world in which women's infidelity is able to occur.
Most other negative reviews say the book is too expensive (true), and one more points to the fact that she is not a certified expert. This last point is that of a person who falls back on ideology - why should you care where truth comes from; that is to say it is far better to evaluate the ideas and motivation rather than a sources certifications.
This book has effected my life deeply in my perspective on my relations between woman and even my work. I highly recommend it!
