Very true. If you have liquid assets, pension funds, IRA, stocks, real estate investments, etc.. in your portfolio, marriage with a pre-nup is necessary in today's America.
Why Should Black Men Get Married?
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Very true. If you have liquid assets, pension funds, IRA, stocks, real estate investments, etc.. in your portfolio, marriage with a pre-nup is necessary in today's America.
I'm actually cool with the person who penned this and we discuss stuff like this over time. He often pops up on Verysmartbrothas and causes all sorts of ruckus in the comments.
Believe it or not, there are black women out here who want serious long-term relationships and families...develop yourself to the best of your ability and you will attract a suitable partner. Stop listening to the media and BGOL's statistics.
Alot of Truth.
I found this post by reading vsb, and nobody here (or there) has really challenged what he said point by point. His post was definately directed at the more uppity chicks whom we hear complain about the lack of "eligible" brothas, all he did was flip it and ask them "WHY should they be with you?"
The responses have been mostly obtuse, personal attacks,strawmen,etc....but no real response as to the waiting incentives for the brothas outside of sex...
That's because there aren't any real reasons for regular guys to be married(african american variety). Marriage should only be for community building. For family building. And it's a rare guy who wants that.
Not speaking of the guys who get talked INTO it. Or guys who feel well i SHOULD. The guys who really WANT that. And have made that decision this is what i want to do. I'm done with everything else. I don't want anything else. I want a family.
Marriage benefits that guy. And because of that it benefits everyone else in the community.
Not speaking of the guys who get talked INTO it. Or guys who feel well i SHOULD. The guys who really WANT that. And have made that decision this is what i want to do. I'm done with everything else. I don't want anything else. I want a family.
Marriage benefits that guy. And because of that it benefits everyone else in the community.
This.
Another, underhanded compliment.
There is no, " Regular " black men.
You reveal you Euro indoctrination.
you dudes act like bgol is the world. regular people up right now talking about topics like this
Most of the people in this thread didn't even read the article! Obsidian can be a little long-winded with his posts sometimes, but he would logically destroy most of the posters here. I'm glad he checks a lot of the pandering bullshit that Damon Young and Panama Jackson write on VSB.
Oh shit let me burn some tea and come back read this.
For now I will say just off the title. With more than 55% of marriages ending in divorce and a 80% chance the wife will file divorce citing "irreconcilable differences". That should give any brotha with a head on his shoulders a serious moment of pause. Do you really think you can beat those odds?
Look there is nothing wrong with marriage but there is something wrong with marriage in this country. When you marry here you don't just marry each other you marry the state and allow the state into your family.
When you marry the state it's not just a matter of finding a good woman, on your level or someone you connect with spiritually. I know of several apostle, bishop, preachers married 2-3 times who would say each wife was heaven sent by God.
Marriage is about community building and support that means sacrifice and putting your needs/pleasures aside. Most people shouldn't be getting married man or woman there is too much selfish unrealistic expectation. People trying to have it both ways, have all this fun and maintain a family because most live such uneventful lives. Truth is many just aren't responsible, have the patience don't or can't handle the responsibility so they look for a way out.
I'll be back to comment more on the article and read these these comments.
--- Sent from Hoodphone using RealniggaTalk
For now I will say just off the title. With more than 55% of marriages ending in divorce and a 80% chance the wife will file divorce citing "irreconcilable differences". That should give any brotha with a head on his shoulders a serious moment of pause. Do you really think you can beat those odds?
Look there is nothing wrong with marriage but there is something wrong with marriage in this country. When you marry here you don't just marry each other you marry the state and allow the state into your family.
When you marry the state it's not just a matter of finding a good woman, on your level or someone you connect with spiritually. I know of several apostle, bishop, preachers married 2-3 times who would say each wife was heaven sent by God.
Marriage is about community building and support that means sacrifice and putting your needs/pleasures aside. Most people shouldn't be getting married man or woman there is too much selfish unrealistic expectation. People trying to have it both ways, have all this fun and maintain a family because most live such uneventful lives. Truth is many just aren't responsible, have the patience don't or can't handle the responsibility so they look for a way out.
I'll be back to comment more on the article and read these these comments.
--- Sent from Hoodphone using RealniggaTalk
whoop!!!
^^^^^^^^^^^
I used to work at a luxury condominium for the 1 percenters...the cheapest condo there was about 400k, and the most expensive (penthouse) was valued around 30 million. So I got a chance to personally interact with people who have almost unlimited wealth.
One day us guys were standing around and one of the residents, Dr. B., came around. This guy is a real-life functioning alcoholic...one of the top dentists in the Southeast, but you'd never know it by seeing him out of the office. Anyway, I guess he was in one of his few sober moments, cause he came up to us (2 Black workers) and said, "
Guys, you need to get married."
Of course, my co-worker was like, "Dr. B., what makes you say that?" I'll never forget what he said.
"The best thing I ever did was to get married. It made me get focused. Once you get married, you don't have to waste every weekend going out...all you got to think about now is making money".
Now I'm not saying marriage always works out like that, but I think this is what we as Black men are missing in this country. We waste our 20's and 30's and maybe 40's chasing tail...whereas he was married and focused on reaching goals for himself and his family's sake during those years. That's how he was able to build wealth and retire very well...
Just something to think about, for the young guys who are against marriage. Put down roots. Build a life with a lady. There's always going to be risks in anything you undertake to do. The failures only make the achievements sweeter.
One day us guys were standing around and one of the residents, Dr. B., came around. This guy is a real-life functioning alcoholic...one of the top dentists in the Southeast, but you'd never know it by seeing him out of the office. Anyway, I guess he was in one of his few sober moments, cause he came up to us (2 Black workers) and said, "
Guys, you need to get married."
Of course, my co-worker was like, "Dr. B., what makes you say that?" I'll never forget what he said.
"The best thing I ever did was to get married. It made me get focused. Once you get married, you don't have to waste every weekend going out...all you got to think about now is making money".
Now I'm not saying marriage always works out like that, but I think this is what we as Black men are missing in this country. We waste our 20's and 30's and maybe 40's chasing tail...whereas he was married and focused on reaching goals for himself and his family's sake during those years. That's how he was able to build wealth and retire very well...
Just something to think about, for the young guys who are against marriage. Put down roots. Build a life with a lady. There's always going to be risks in anything you undertake to do. The failures only make the achievements sweeter.
Well said, fam...
I find it hard to believe that black men waste their time chasing tail more than other races. Many of my male friends were ready (so we thought) to be married fresh out of high school. For most it didn't pan out too well. Peace to your post but if it were as simple as us wanting marriage (when it takes 2) then a lot of things in the community would have been fixed ages ago.
^This!
That dude was projecting his condition 100% unto others, that does not take away from the (depending on the economics of the couple) financial benefits of marriage. If finance is a primary motivator then a cost/benefit analysis is in order. 1 aspect not brought up here is how most african american, and especially middle class, marriages end up in divorce...initiated by women.
So if a man is going to marry for financial bennies, he has to take into account the risk financially as well as the time spent searching for that woman he wants...
also, women, as a result of having careers these days, are delaying marriage also. Women play the field as much as ( if not more, since they are the gatekeepers of sex, while men are the gatekeepers of marriage and long term relations) men do. What is going on today is that we have these women (ie those like the chicks in the ABC special on black marriage/single black women) not mentioning the benefits for a man to want to marry her....
Unwise older women take mens desire to get with her for granted. There will always be 1 dude looking but she may not want him....and the 1 she does want either has his plate full, or does not want damaged goods......
Pretty much.....
Why do you think its tougher these days?
Because black men and black women don't need each other as much anymore. And, in many respects, are just on different wavelengths.
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