Man, I know that shits hard man, but try to keep pressing. I know your natural instinct is just to get the shit over with, but if possible, try to get something out of it too. Especially calculus cause you'll soon realize just how integrated calculus is to damn near everything. I came to college thinking I was the shit in Math, and I learned a pride crushing lesson. I bullshited myself through a full year of "honors calculus" and thought it would be smooth sailing in college (we spent 80% of the year doing differential and the end of the year doing ntegral. By that time, as a senior, I was already check out mentally) . Shiiiiiiiit. We flew throught that whole high school year in one quarter of college and I had to bust my ass for a C. Everyday, this motherfucker was putting us through the origins and history of calculus theories, as if we were supposed to make the connections on the spot in class (the same one it that took geniuses years to put together). Now I don't know what i expected from class, but I was not interested in watching him go off on some random tangent goaded by the quarter of the class that acted as if they were following him. His tests were hard as fuck (until he explained the solutions afterward and made you feel stupid). I hated that motherfucker with a passion.
But a funny thing happened. My buddy just seemed to love this guy. He'd come out of test day loving it, like he'd just come from a damn good competitive game of baskeball. The kind of game that were you're so happy that you found some good competition to play, you don't really care if you win or lose. That shit fucked my head up so I started really listening in class, and I eventually I started to appreciate the profs style as well. He was challenging us, trying to get us to think. You still had to go through the grunt work, but everyday in class he was teaching us and showing us how to think and problem solve like the greats did, and I appreciated that. I also learned something with forever helped focus my thinking. I didn't become a math major or anything like that, but my grades went up each quarter (C+, B-, B). That's not great, and sure I wanted A's, but I was damn proud of that B. I haven't yet gone on to greatness because of it, but If I ever become anything in this life, I'll remember that prof as the first dude that not only challenge me how to think critically, but also really helped to teach me how.
I didn't have to do that"
